Leave the Lights On (18 page)

Sophie had thought Parker looked tense when they’d gone to the ballgame. Compared to how he looked tonight, that was nothing. They drove to the Hilton in total silence. The few times she’d attempted to start a conversation, he’d made it clear he couldn’t handle small talk, and if she said anything encouraging, all it seemed to do was make him cranky.

Stay quiet. Give him space.
Keeping quiet wasn’t Sophie’s strong suit. Nervous energy made her chatty, and she was nervous for Parker. She’d never lost a parent, so she didn’t entirely know what he was going through, but she had some idea.

He’d never known his mom. She’d had complications during his delivery and had died a few days after he was born. All his life, it had been Parker and his dad. Sophie had never known anyone with a closer relationship with either of their parents. Not only was Mr. Wood proud of everything Parker did, the two of them seemed to actually be buddies. Losing him had to be tearing Parker apart, but he couldn’t seem to talk about it.

Sure, he’d mentioned missing him. He’d said he couldn’t deal with cleaning out his room yet or getting rid of his stuff. But she hadn’t seen the emotions tugging at him. Not until today.

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said as he pulled into the parking deck.

“Will you please stop saying that?”

“Fine.”

Fine.
That was the third “fine” she’d gotten out of him.

She hated that word. Hated all monosyllabic answers. They reminded her of her father. And her ex.
Give him a break. He’s just having a rough night.
She knew that was true. He never clammed up like this. Circumstance was to blame.

He fidgeted with his tie. She wasn’t sure if it was too tight or he was attempting to straighten it, but all he’d succeeded in doing was making it crooked.
Tell him.
“You’re…it’s off to one side now. May I?”

“Fine.”

Sophie sighed, trying not to shake her head as she reached up and adjusted the knot. “Perfect.”

“Good.”

Well, at least that’s better than “fine”.
She followed him across the parking deck to the elevator. His hands were shoved into his pants pockets, making his jacket bunch up. She’d never seen anyone look more uncomfortable in a suit.
I need to get him to have a drink. The sooner the better.

Inside the elevator he stared at the numbers as they lit up above the door. He looked like he was going to his own execution instead of a fancy dinner. When the door to the elevator slid open, they were greeted by a poster set on an enormous easel.
Ethan Wood Memorial Banquet
the sign read atop a giant photo of Parker’s dad.

The tension that had been holding him so taut seemed to drain out of him the second he saw the image. His shoulders slumped. The tight set of his jaw slackened. All she saw was sadness. Her heart ached. She wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay. Knowing that would be out of place she kept herself in check. Unsure how he’d react to any physical contact, she let her hand brush against his. Relief swept over her as he slipped his fingers between hers and gave them a tight squeeze.

A white-haired gentleman who looked vaguely familiar strode toward them. “Parker, so glad you could make it.”

“Thanks, Mr. Brown.” He let go of Sophie’s hand and reached out to shake Mr. Brown’s.

“Who’s this lovely young woman?”

“This is Sophie Vaughn. We grew up together. She knew my dad really well.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Vaughn. Parker, I’d like to introduce you to the presenters before the ceremony begins if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure.” Parker’s hand slipped back into his pocket instead of back into Sophie’s. “Why don’t you go find our table?”

“Okay.” Sighing, she made her way into the ballroom.
This is going to be a very long night.

Parker willed himself to be as numb as possible as he met the lineup of people who would be speaking about his father.
Just get through it and then it’ll be over.
That’s how he’d viewed every surgery, every new physical therapy challenge, every other painful event he’d had to face.
Just do it.
Not what Nike had been referring to, but sound advice nonetheless.

Roughly half the men were people Parker had met before. He’d spent enough time working at the landscaping business that he’d had contact with the majority of them over either jobs or charity events or both. The few people he didn’t know were friendly enough. Everyone full of kind words about his father. Kind words and sympathy.
That look in their eyes
. That was what was going to make Parker lose it.

He’d purposely kept the funeral small and private, wanting to deal with as few people as possible. And there he’d been able to keep his sunglasses on the entire time. Behind the dark lenses it was much easier to keep it together. No one could tell if he was making eye contact or not. No one could see that tears were welling up. He didn’t have to worry about the pain being quite so obvious. Without them, he felt like he was wearing a flashing arrow that said “hurting”.

“Parker, this is Jarrod Weston. He took over the Park Commission when Bill Thompson stepped down last year.”

Jarrod Weston.
The name rang a bell but not in conjunction with anything work related.
Don’t even…
He looked up to see a thin blond man in an Armani suit approaching, hand extended.
Fuck. Me.
It was the asshole who had married Chrissie.

Parker’s jaw tensed so tight he thought he might actually crack a tooth. He shook Jarrod’s hand in silence, managing nothing more than a quick nod. Jarrod didn’t meet his eyes.
Chicken shit.

“Jarrod will be presenting the actual plaque, so we’ll need the two of you for photos afterward. They’ll tell you both where to go to have those taken.”

Clearly Mr. Brown had no idea about their history. The lightheartedness with which he spoke seemed almost comical in comparison to the turmoil Parker felt. Someone stepped to the podium at the front of the banquet hall and asked that everyone please take their seats.

Parker saw Sophie sitting at the table closest to the podium. She was scanning the room, and he knew she was looking for him. The thought comforted him. He knew he’d been giving her a hard time. He wasn’t trying to, but it seemed to keep happening anyway.

Truthfully, he was very thankful she was there.
I need to tell her that. Now.
Parker’s thoughts were interrupted with a sight that knocked what little air he had in his lungs right out. At the table next to his, seated with the other presenters and their wives, he saw an unmistakable head of blonde hair. As if she felt his eyes on her she turned, and looked straight at Parker.
Chrissie.

The urge to walk straight out of the room was nearly overwhelming. Instead, Parker made it to the open seat beside Sophie. She smiled when she saw him, scooting her chair to the side so he could sit, but that wasn’t meant to happen yet. Before he could slip into the chair, Chrissie stood and walked over to him.

She looked different. Older. And by far more than the two years since he’d seen her. Her features had lost their girlishness. Her nose seemed pointier, her eyes deeper set, her lips thinner. She was still beautiful, but something was missing. The spark that had been her defining quality seemed to be gone, replaced with a solemn poise.

“Parker,” she said, reaching up to touch his shoulder and placing a kiss on his cheek.

He stiffened at her touch, trying not to pull away too rudely, but wanting to remove himself from her reach nonetheless. “Hey,” was all he could manage.

“I’m so sorry about your dad. He was such a nice man.”

“Thanks.” Parker pulled out his chair, trying to give her the clue that it was time to sit down and not make small talk. He caught the look on Sophie’s face. Her eyes were wide as they darted between him and Chrissie.

“We should talk later, after the ceremony,” Chrissie said.

“We’ll see. I don’t think we plan on sticking around for very long.” He nodded at Sophie, who smiled up at him.

Chrissie followed his gaze and seemed to realize he was there with a date. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. Hi. I’m Chrissie Weston.” She held out her hand.

Parker shook his head.
Holy God.

“I know,” Sophie said, taking her hand and staring her straight in the eyes. “Sophie Vaughn.”

Chrissie’s eyes bugged to cartoonish size as the name registered. “Oh. My. God. Sophie. You’re the last person I would have expected to run into here.”

“Likewise,” Sophie said, shooting Parker a quick glance.

“How are you? You look great.”

“So do you. I’m good, thanks, but I think they’re trying to get the ceremony started.”

Chrissie looked up at the podium just as the speaker tapped the mic. “You’re right.” She swept a hand across Parker’s shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. “We’ll catch up later.”

Catch up later? What the fuck is she talking about?
Parker was about to whisper something to Sophie but the speaker cleared his throat and began to talk.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight to honor a man who meant so much to our community and so much to everyone in this room. Let’s start with a moment of silence in memory of Mr. Ethan Wood.”

The room fell completely silent. Parker’s heart beat hard enough that he was certain everyone at the table could hear it. He didn’t need a moment to remember his dad. He thought about him every day whether he wanted to or not. The urge to get up and leave returned with almost overpowering strength.

Sophie reached over and took his hand. The simple act of kindness brought him so much relief he thought he might start crying.
Get. A. Grip.
He forced himself to breathe.
Jesus. She’s just holding my hand. That guy’s just saying words. Calm the fuck down before you make an ass of yourself in front of the whole damned town.

As much as he wanted to hang on to Sophie’s hand, he shifted his position and let it go. He reached for his water glass and took as much of a drink as he could manage to swallow. The cool water passed over the lump in his throat and spiraled down into his stomach.

For what seemed like an eternity, he listened as speakers got up, one after another, saying the kindest things about his father he could imagine hearing. Parker bit down on his tongue more than once to focus on the pain of the bite rather than the pain of his memories. By the time they were ready to present the plaque, he wasn’t sure he could stand let alone walk to the front of the room. His shoulders were so tense he could barely move.

Seeing Jarrod Weston, of all people, up there holding the plaque, Parker felt as if he might throw up. At least the disgust he felt for Jarrod was something to focus on that had nothing to do with his father. This was the asshole who’d taken Chrissie from him. The catalyst that had inadvertently changed every plan he had for his life. Watching him, smug and dapper, with his well-coiffed hair and expensive suit, Parker felt nothing but disdain.

“And so, in honor of the many great services he provided for our community, I’d like to present this plaque, which will be placed in Hunter Park beside the fountain Mr. Wood helped restore to its original glory.” Jarrod pulled a drawstring, and the blue velvet curtain that had covered the plaque fell away, revealing a large flat slab of granite with an engraved plate on it.

“If Mr. Wood’s son, Parker, wouldn’t mind joining me…”

Parker pushed his chair away from the table and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Jarrod shook his hand and stepped aside, and Parker realized he was expected to speak.
Christ.
He breathed in through his nose.
Keep it simple. Speak from the heart.
He knew that’s what his dad would have told him to do. He exhaled slowly.

“Giving back to the community was always a top priority for my father and I know this would have meant a great deal to him. It certainly means a lot to me. Thank you for honoring him.” He held his breath, hoping that was enough.

Applause echoed through the room. Parker looked out at the audience, focusing on nothing until he caught Sophie’s eye. She stared directly at him, calm and steady. He’d never been more grateful for anything than for her presence at that moment. Her eyes were like a safe harbor. A port in a storm. He held her gaze until he returned safely to her side.

As he took his seat he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, not caring who was watching. When he pulled away, he saw that the one person who seemed to have noticed was Chrissie. She raised an eyebrow and quickly turned back to Jarrod.

Before Parker could say anything to Sophie, a waiter arrived between them. “Can I get you a drink from the bar?”

“Yes, Sophie?”

“I’ll have a glass of white wine.”

“Vodka, please, on the rocks with a twist of lime.”

The waiter nodded and moved to the next couple at the table.

Sophie leaned closer to Parker, her sweet scent soothing him. “You did great.”

“Really? I don’t even remember what the hell I said.”

“Trust me. It was perfect.” She rested her hand on his leg, her touch warm and comforting.

“Thanks.”