Legend of the Seventh Virgin (27 page)

In that moment our relationship changed. She deplored my marriage, but I was young and strong; I was even presentable and it was only the people in the neighborhood (the lower orders) who need know whence I had come. I had been married two months and had already conceived a child — a grandchild for her. And all this time there had been nothing from Judith. Old Lady St. Larnston was a woman who had had most of what she wanted in life. She must quickly have come to terms with her husband’s incontinence. Perhaps she accepted that as part of the needs of a gentleman and as long as his wife’s power in the house remained absolute she was content. I could not imagine what her married life had been like, but I did know that some quality in her, some love of power, the desire to manage her own life and those of the people around her, was shared by me; and because each recognized this in the other we were essentially allies.

“I am glad of this,” she said. “You must take care of yourself, Kerensa.”

“I intend to do everything to ensure having a healthy boy.”

She laughed. “Let us not be too sure that the child will be a boy. If it is a girl we shall welcome her. You are young. Boys will come.”

“I long for a boy,” I said fervently.

She nodded. “We shall hope for a boy. Tomorrow I myself will show you the nurseries. It is long since there were babies at the Abbas. But I am a little tired today and I should like to show them to you myself.”

“Tomorrow then,” I said.

Our eyes met. This was conquest. This proud old woman who a short time before had been deploring Johnny’s marriage was now becoming quickly reconciled to a daughter-in-law in whom she recognized a kindred spirit.

A son for St. Larnston! It was what we both wanted more than anything else in the world, and it was in my power to give it to her — more, it seemed only mine.

When a woman becomes pregnant she undergoes a change. There is often nothing for her but the child which, as the weeks pass, she is aware of, growing steadily within her. She senses the changes in the child, the development of that small body.

I was living for the day when my child should be born.

I became serene, contented; my manner was more gentle; Dr. Hilliard called often to see me and he would find me with Mellyora in the rose garden sewing some small garment, for I asked that she should help me with the layette.

Lady St. Larnston put nothing in my way. I was not to be crossed. If I wanted Mellyora, I should have her. I must be cosseted and humored. I was the most important person in the household.

Sometimes the situation would strike me as so comic, that I would be overcome with silent laughter. I was happy. I told myself that never had I been so happy in my life.

Johnny? I cared nothing for him. His attitude had changed too because for the first time in his life, it seemed he had the approval of his family. He had sired a child — something which Justin had failed to do.

When we were alone together he would jeer at Justin.

“So perfect he has always been. I have suffered from Justin all my life. It is irritating to have a saint for a brother. But there is one thing sinners can evidently do more effectively than saints!” He laughed and embraced me. I pushed him away, telling him to be careful of the child.

Johnny stretched himself out on our bed, his head supported by his arms, watching me.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he said. “Nothing will convince me that I haven’t married a witch.”

“Remember it,” I warned. “Don’t offend her or she might cast a spell on you.”

“She already has done that. On me … and the whole household, including our dear Mamma. Kerensa, you witch, how did you manage that?”

I patted my swollen body. “My ability to bear a child without delay.”

“Tell me this, do you ride out on a broomstick and practice fertility rites with your Grandmamma?”

“Never mind what I do,” I retorted. “It is the result which is important.”

He jumped up and kissed me. I pushed him away. I was no longer interested in Johnny.

I sat stitching under the trees with Mellyora.

She looked so pretty with her head slightly bent as she watched the dainty progress of her needle. I was transported back in my thoughts to those days when I had peeped at her in the parsonage garden sitting with Miss Kellow. How our positions were reversed! I remembered, too, what I owed to her.

Dear Mellyora, to whom I should be grateful for the rest of my life.

I wished that she could be as happy as I was. But even as I thought that, I felt a clutch of fear at my heart. Happiness for Mellyora would mean marriage with Justin. But how could she marry Justin when he had a wife? Only if Judith died could Mellyora marry Justin; and if she did, if they had children … sons … her sons would take precedence over mine!

My son: Mr. St. Larnston; Mellyora’s Sir Justin.

It was unthinkable. But there was no cause for anxiety. Mellyora could never marry Justin and some instinct told me that Judith was a barren woman.

I was longing for the time to pass; I could only be content when I held my son in my arms. At times I was overcome by a fear that the child would be a girl. I should have loved to have a daughter, a girl for whom I could plan, perhaps as Granny had planned for me; but my dream would not be complete until I had a son. My son, mine, should be owner of the Abbas; I should have given it to him; and all the future generations would have my blood in them.

So I must have a son.

Granny, who was wise in such matters, believed that I would; the way I carried the child indicated it, she told me. As the months passed she became more and more sure and so my happiness increased.

I scarcely noticed what was going on about me; it did not occur to me that my good fortune must have its effect on one as near to me as Mellyora. Not even when she said: “Who would have believed all this could have happened to you when you stood at the hiring stand at Trelinket!” did I understand that she was thinking: If this can come to you, why shouldn’t my life change miraculously?

But during those months of my child’s gestation, the love which had been conceived by Justin and Mellyora was growing too. Their very innocence made it all the more apparent and none would be more aware of it than Judith.

She had not engaged a lady’s maid after my marriage. Doll did certain duties for her and often I went along to dress her hair for some special occasion. One day when she and Justin were dining with the Hemphills I went to her room, as I had promised, to do her hair for her.

I knocked gently on the door but there was no answer, so I opened the door and called “Are you there, Judith?”

There was no reply; then I saw her: she was lying on the bed, on her back, her face turned up to the ceiling.

“Judith,” I said. Still she did not answer; and for a second or so I believed she was dead and the first thought which came to my mind was: Now Justin will be free to marry Mellyora. They will have a son and he will take precedence over mine.

Now I had an obsession too: my son.

I approached the bed and I heard then a heavy sigh. I saw that her eyes were open.

“Judith,” I said. “You remember I promised to come to do your hair.”

She grunted and going close I bent over her. I saw that her cheeks were wet.

“Oh … Kerensa,” she murmured.

“What has happened?”

She shook her head.

“You’re crying.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Something is wrong?”

“Something is always wrong.”

“Judith, tell me what has happened.”

“He doesn’t care for me,” she murmured in a slurred whisper and I guessed that she was scarcely aware of me; she was talking to herself. “It has been worse since she came. Does he think I don’t see? It’s clear, isn’t it? They’re crying out for each other. They would be lovers … only they’re such
good
people. How I loathe good people, yet … if they were, I’d kill her. Yes, I would. Somehow I would. She’s so meek and mild, is she not? Such a quiet inoffensive little lady. So much to be pitied. Fallen on hard times. Her father dies and, poor young lady, she had to go out into the cruel world and earn her living. Poor poor Mellyora! Such a hard life! Such a need to be protected.
I
would protect her.”

I said, “Hush, Judith. Someone will hear you.”

“Who’s there?” she asked.

“It is only Kerensa … come to do your hair as promised. Have you forgotten?”

“Kerensa.” She laughed. “The lady’s maid who will now give us the heir. That is something else against me, don’t you see? Even Kerensa, the girl from the cottages, can give St. Larnston an heir and I’m a barren barren woman. The barren fig tree! That is Judith. It is all dear Kerensa. We must take care of Kerensa. Is Kerensa in a draft? Remember her condition. It is funny, don’t you see? A few months ago she was Carlee … she was here on sufferance. And now she is holy, the mother-to-be of the sainted heir of St. Larnston.”

“Judith,” I said earnestly. “What is wrong? What has happened?”

And as I bent over her I knew, because I could smell the spirits on her breath.

Judith … intoxicated, attempting to forget her misery in the whiskey bottle!

“You’ve been drinking, Judith,” I reproached her.

“What if I have?”

“It is foolish.”

“And who are you, pray?”

“Your sister-in-law, Kerensa, your friend.”

“My friend! You’re her friend. No friend of hers is a friend of mine. Kerensa, the sainted mother! It’s been worse since you married Johnny.”

“Have you forgotten you are dining with the Hemphills — you and Justin?”

“Let him take
her
. He’d rather.”

“You are being foolish. I am going to order some black coffee. Pull yourself together, Judith. You are going to the Hemphills’ with Justin. He will be here in an hour and if he finds you like this, he will be disgusted.”

“He is already disgusted.”

“Then do not disgust him further.”

“He is disgusted by my love for him. He is a cold man, Kerensa. Why do I love a cold man?”

“I cannot tell you that, but if you want to turn him away from you, you are going the right way about it.”

She clutched my arm. “Oh Kerensa, don’t let him be turned away … don’t let him be.”

She began to cry quietly and I said to her, “I’m going to help you. But you must do as I say. I shall order coffee for myself and bring it to you. It would not do for the servants to see you in this state. They gossip too much as it is. I shall be back soon; then I shall have you ready by the time you leave for the Hemphills’.”

“I hate the Hemphills … silly Hemphills.”

“Then you must pretend to like them. That is the way to please Justin.”

“There is only one way of pleasing him. If I could have a child, Kerensa … if only I could have a child.”

“Perhaps you will,” I said, hoping with all my being that she never would.

“He is such a cold man, Kerensa.”

“Then you must make him warm. You will not do so by getting drunk. That much I can tell you. Now lie there until I come back.”

She nodded. “You’re my friend, Kerensa,” she said. “You promised you were.”

I went to my room and when I rang the bell, Doll answered.