Lessons of the Heart (33 page)

I nod. “Right.”

He bends down to brush his lips across mine, but I won’t have any of that. I need him to dull the ache that’s forming in my chest as I think of our fate. I desperately need to feel the connection between us, to assure myself that my sacrifice will be worth it, even if I die a little each day in the process.

“I need you. Now,” I breathe, running my tongue along the seam of his lips until he opens for me. Fire spreads through my veins, mixing with the ever present desire that lies just under the surface whenever James is around.

Picking me up off the ground, I wrap my legs around his waist and cling to him as he carries me to his bedroom and places me in the middle of the bed. He crawls up my body, slowly, like a panther waiting to strike. His eyes have a fierce look to them as if he’s devouring me whole. I squirm under his gaze and marvel at my body’s reaction to him, even though it’s the same reaction that I’ve had for the past few months.

My shirt is the first to come off, pulling it over my head and tossing it carelessly to the floor. Next I work on his shirt, needing to feel his smooth chest beneath my fingertips.

I start to thread the buttons through the holes when his hands grab mine to halt my progress. “Hey, slow down there. What’s the matter?”

I make a small grunt of displeasure as I look into his eyes. “Nothing’s the matter. You just have too many clothes on.”

He presses into my body further, sending another round of jolts through me. “Slowly, sweetheart. I want to do this slowly.”

“We can do slow later. Right now, I want fast and hard. Please don’t make me wait.” I’m not even ashamed for basically asking him to fuck me now.

James rolls his hips again, hitting me in the right spot. A small gasp escapes my lips. “You want fast and hard?” he asks. I nod, now panting with the need for him to be inside me. “Then that’s what it’ll be.”

I rip his shirt open, letting the buttons fly past my face and scatter across the floor. James reaches down to unbuckle his belt and pants, letting them slide down his legs until he kicks them off. I work my own pants down at the same time. He grabs hold of my hips, dragging me slightly down the bed until I’m directly in the middle of it. With a snap, my panties are torn from my body.

I reach down and slide his boxer briefs off. His cock springs out and glistens with the evidence of his excitement. He wants me as much as I want him. I don’t think I can wait much longer.

Needing to feel our connection, I grab his erection and guide it to my soaked entrance. He slowly presses into me but stops abruptly.

“What?” I pant, lifting my hips to complete our connection.

“Condom,” he says and leans over to his nightstand. Since we started sleeping together, he always keeps the drawer well stocked. And it’s come in handy because we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.

After the condom is rolled on, he takes my wrists in his hands and pins them next to my head.

“Fast and hard?”

I nod. He pushes into me again, only this time he doesn’t stop until he’s fully sheathed inside me. I cry out from the fullness, trying to let my body adjust to his size.

James briefly looks into my eyes to make sure that I’m okay. Once I give him the nod, he begins a punishing rhythm, making me climb higher and higher into the clouds with each stroke. He moves faster inside me and I lose myself in him. The heavy scent of lust is evident in the air, along with our sweat and passion for each other.

He pulls out suddenly and flips me over, pressing my stomach into the mattress. Lifting my hips until they’re the perfect height, he plunges into me again, deeper this time due to my position.

“Ah!” It feels as if he’s bottoming out every time he dives further inside me. The twinge of pain is nothing compared to the amount of pleasure I feel at this very moment.

“I need you with me,” he says and reaches around to rub my clit. He doesn’t need to use the extra stimulation, but I’m not going to say no. He growls in my ear as his chest presses against my back. “Baby, you feel so good. I love being inside you, feeling your muscles squeeze me every time I push into you.”

And that’s all it takes to have my body release the tension that was building, letting it morph into a powerful orgasm which rips me apart. I scream into the mattress, clawing desperately at the sheets as his fingers and cock continues their assault. Time is irrelevant as I feel like I’ve been coming for hours with each shake of my muscles and contraction against his cock.

“Britta,” he shouts, letting his hips jerk several times before spilling into me. He holds me still as his cock pulses inside me, prolonging my own orgasm even more. We fall onto the bed in a sweaty mess of tangled body parts. He pulls me into him, turning me in his arms until we’re face to face with each other.

I kiss his nose and smile, still trying to regain my breath that was stolen from me just moments ago. “Holy shit. That was mind-blowing.”

He smirks and brushes some hair from my forehead. “Fast and hard enough for you?”

“Mmhmm,” I murmur and relax into his arms.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know James is nuzzling my neck while pressing feather soft kisses against my skin. The sheet is pulled over me and the room is dark with only a faint amount of light coming in through the window.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he says, chuckling into my neck with another kiss.

“What time is it?” I croak. I need to stretch my arms, but I won’t because it would mean James has to move from his position and I really,
really
like what he’s doing right now.

“It’s almost eight. Well past supper and almost bedtime.”

I laugh as he props himself up on his elbow. He looks so handsome and carefree. His perfect lips, dreamy eyes, and chiseled face make my heart skip a beat as I burn his image into memory.

“Will you read me a bedtime story then?” I ask. He shakes his head and moves over me. I widen my legs to make room for his body as he settles in between them.

“I’ve got one for you. Once upon a time, there was a girl who was special in every way. Only she didn’t know it at the time. She was also kind of clumsy with a habit of running into people.” He smirks and runs his hand down my side. “She was beautiful, enchanting, and the most amazing person anyone has ever seen. One day, a man comes into town and she turns his world upside down with just a single glance. If she had told him that the sky was down and the ground was up, he would have believed her. She enchanted him with her eyes that spoke words to him through some sort of magic. The first time he kissed her, he felt the magic seep into his soul, tearing a piece of it from him and giving it to her. Slowly they formed a bond, one which couldn’t be broken because they shared a love so intense it was unlike anything that’s been seen before.

“But alas, their love was to be tested time and time again. The outside world didn’t believe in their love, told them it wasn’t right, that it was forbidden and dangerous. But she didn’t give up. She fought with the bravery of thousands and the man felt it with each kiss she gave him, each one a precious gift. And he fought right alongside her, showing their unified front because when they were together, nothing could stop them.”

A tear drops down my cheek as I listen to his story. “So what happens to them? Do they succumb to the threats of others?”

He shakes his head and bends low to kiss me. At the same time, I feel him push inside me slowly, gently. My eyes widen as I realize we're acting carelessly at this moment, but his index finger presses into my lips, silencing my fears.

“They stay together and fight because what they have is perfect. Others may be jealous of what they have, but it won’t break them apart.” He moves further into me and my eyes roll back into my head because this feels different than any other time. I can feel him, all of him, without any barriers stopping us. And it’s divine.

“Never,” I whisper, raising my hips to meet his thrusts.

He pushes fully into me and stops, looking down at me with the utmost love and adoration in his eyes. “They conquered all and lived a long and happy life together, filled with laughter, love, and a family.”

“James,” I whisper and pull his mouth down to mine.

“I need to feel you without anything between us because we’re in this together. Nothing will ever separate us.”

He moves faster now, feeding my craving for his body until it’s ready to explode in a fiery ball of heat. Our eyes meet and I can tell he’s close because his movements become more frantic and less controlled. And I want that. I want him to lose control over me because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with him. All the power that I possess disappears until my reckless thoughts are of him and him alone.

His love, his passion, our life together, all of it sends tears to my eyes as I surrender to him, letting the fiery ball drop and explode around me. I cry out as my body shakes from the orgasm and he follows me, chanting my name as if it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever said.

“Promise?” I ask when my rational thoughts return.

His chest presses against mine but smiles as he kisses me lovingly on the mouth. “Promise.”

We roll onto our sides, which breaks our contact. I don’t panic at the thought of us not using a condom. Feeling him, all of him for the first time was an experience I will never forget.

James pulls me into his chest and professes his love again and again into my ear until his breathing regulates and slows, letting me know that sleep has finally taken him.

I crawl out of his grip, sliding slowly off the bed to retrieve my clothes from the floor. Once I’m fully dressed, I walk into the kitchen and tear off a sheet of paper from the tablet next to the refrigerator. Scribbling down a quick note for him, I bring it back to his bed and place it on my pillow.

“Goodbye, James. I love you.” I kiss his cheek gently before leaving the room. I hold my hand over my mouth to control my emotions, hoping it’ll keep the sobs from escaping.

I grab my phone from my purse and type a quick text to Liam, asking him to come get me from James’s house. He responds right away saying he’ll be there in a couple minutes.

I walk around his house one last time, etching everything into memory. After tomorrow, there’s a good chance I will never be back. But what I’m about to do is to protect James from Chase and everyone else who thinks they can get between us.

I just hope he understands.

T
HIS IS IT. THIS MUST
be what it feels like to be on death row. The sweaty palms, erratic heartbeat, the fear that every breath could be your last. Okay, maybe not quite that extreme, but I feel like I’m being suffocated. There just isn’t enough air to fill my lungs as I walk down the hall to my impending doom.

Chase messaged me again a few minutes ago, making sure that I was going to show up or he was going to expose us to Mr. Leonard and ruin us. That will not happen. Not if I can help it.

“Babe,” he says as I approach, but I hold my hands up to stop him from coming any closer.

“Don’t start with that bullshit, Chase. Tell me what you want so we can get this over with.”

His smirk takes on an almost sneer as his eyes roam over my body. My skin crawls at his perusal and I’m thankful for my preemptive strike of wearing lots of layers today to avoid any further complications.

“You know what I want. I’ve been dropping not so subtle hints all year and yet you continually turn me down.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I’m not interested? That maybe I
like
our friendship the way it is, the way it always has been?”

He leans closer and it makes me want to run in the opposite direction. “I’ve been chasing you for years Britta, but you’ve been too stupid to notice. I could never get you away from Penny, and now that she’s got her own thing going, I figured this could finally be my shot. I could win the prize that I’ve dreamed about for years. But no, you had to go and fuck it up with
him.
”

The way he said that last statement has my panic rising from threat level yellow to orange. He’s been chasing me for years? How have I not noticed this?

“Chase, it’s not what you think. You’re being delusional and are obviously thinking the wrong things.”

“I don’t believe I misinterpreted his tongue down your throat or him pressing you into your car as he’s doing it,” he hisses at me in a low tone.

My worst fears come to light as the cold grip of reality sets in. Blood drains from my face, making me feel lightheaded and dizzy. I can’t hide that anymore. He knows what he saw and I can’t say that he didn’t. He knows he has me right where he wants me and I have to play his game or he’ll end James.

“What do you want?” I whisper, letting my shoulders sag in defeat.

He runs his hands up and down my arms and I fight the urge to kick him in the balls again. “You and I are going to play nice together for the rest of the school year.
Real nice
. I hope you didn’t already make plans for prom because guess who your date is?”

Bile rises in my throat. There’s something in his eyes that I’ve never seen before and it scares me. He’s never been this cold before, even when he wasn’t acting like himself. I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, but I can’t. His eyes narrow, creating another wave of nerves to course through my body.