Let Me Be Your Hero (6 page)

When she mentioned this, Isobel laughed. “Let me tell ye something. Ye can put a beautiful woman in a wolf pelt and her beauty will still be noticed. It isna what ye wear, but how ye wear it that counts. Besides, there is a certain attractiveness about a beauty in mourning that attracts the eye…especially the eye of a lad, ye ken?”

By the time they returned home three days later,
they had been measured for one black mourning dress, and a dress from the Parisian fabric, and the proper petticoats and undergarments. Isobel also purchased sleeping gowns and black stockings.

Once they were home, things settled into a normal routine, with Kendrew spending time on his Highland pony, and Claire and her sisters busy with their lessons from a new governess that was hired, although the girls were able to persuade Isobel not to let poor Aggie go.

“But she is hardly a tutor,” Isobel said. “Yer education has been horribly neglected.”

The girls and Kendrew all put up such a fuss, Isobel agreed to keep Aggie and the new governess, Miss Kathleen O’Malley, who was as Irish as her name.

From the day of their arrival, life as the Lennox siblings had known it began to change drastically, and although they were happy for so many of the changes, they were still grieving for the loss of their father and two brothers, and naturally given to moments of extreme sadness and tears. But as the days passed, the sad days grew less long, and more infrequent, as the pain of their loss lessened.

Claire’s tendency not to trust Isobel also lessened, and gradually she began to trust her as much as her sisters did. She did not try to understand why it was that her father detested Isobel and Lord Walter so much. Instead, she focused on what her father had taught her, and that was to “accept people as they appear to be, until they show ye a different face.”

Gradually, the summer warmth began to turn cooler as fall approached, and then the next thing she knew, it was October. When the first cold days came, Claire
made certain that she thanked Isobel for her foresight in having nice warm woolen capes made for all of them.

Christmas came and went, and was followed by a great freeze that completely froze the waters of the loch from Balloch on the south end and as far north as Luss. From her window, Claire could see curling teams on the ice, and red-cheeked children playing, while dozens of people skated merrily on the ice. There were men with loaded sleds driving across the stubbled fields—where golden grain had waved in the summer breeze a few months before—to take advantage of the shortcut across the ice.

How different it all looked from summer, and it reminded her that change occurs everywhere, and not only in her life.

As the year progressed and spring returned, Claire celebrated her sixteenth birthday, along with many new things that were added to their lives, such as music lessons and art lessons, and a dancing master who taught them how to perform the latest dances. This also meant some new employees were brought on, and some of the older employees were let go. “All done so that ye might have the refinement ye have sorely lacked in the past,” Isobel said.

Fraser continued to send letters to Claire and, in turn, Claire gave her replies to Dermot, so he could post them for her. It was not the same as having him close, but it did help her keep his memory close to her heart. Claire did not tell Isobel about her letters, not because she was trying to keep Fraser a secret, but because she did not want to share her letters with anyone, and she feared that Isobel might ask to read them.
In order to keep it secret, when Claire was in town, she requested that her letters be held, and that she would come for them the next time she returned. That way, she could send and receive her letters in complete privacy.

While Isobel was becoming an important center of the girls’ lives, Lord Walter’s main focus was Ken-drew. This did not go unnoticed by Claire, who worried that Kendrew would be the one most affected by the loss they suffered. Claire still had her female connection in her sisters, but Kendrew lost all the male influence in his life at one time.

Claire was an honest person, and it troubled her that she had been so suspicious and distrusting of Isobel and Lord Walter, which she now understood came about because her father was always wary of the couple. One afternoon, she had the perfect opportunity to bring it up with Isobel.

She and Isobel were working on their embroidery in the solar, while her sisters finished their music lessons.

Isobel took a stitch, tied the knot and snipped the thread. As she threaded the needle again she glanced at Claire, who was frowning over an intricate stitch.

“My dear Claire, ye seem troubled today. Is anything amiss? Has something happened to upset ye? I hope ye ken that Lord Walter and I want so much to be a part of yer loving family. If, at any time, we err in our judgment or commit some other infraction, I do hope ye will address it.” She laid her embroidery down. “Is there anything we have done that ye would like to discuss?”

Claire put her embroidery in her lap. “Aye, I have
been troubled of late, Aunt Isobel, but not for the reason ye speak of. ’Tis a guilty conscience what eats at me.”

“A guilty conscience? Och, how could ye have a guilty conscience when ye are a tenderhearted lass with a loving spirit? I canna believe you could be guilty of anything that would cause ye to harbor such feelings.”

“Your kindness, understanding and gentle guidance has contributed much toward the easing of our suffering. It has caused me to regret my hastiness in judging ye, and I wish to offer ye my apologies for being too stubborn to accept ye from the very first.”

“I knew it was yer grief what held ye back, and I willna have ye punishing yerself over it. Think no more upon it. I have forgotten it, and so should ye.”

Lord Walter continued to spend his time going over the accounts in the library, or making trips to inspect the various holdings that her father had owned, for none of it was located on Inchmurrin, which was too small an island to provide much space for anything larger than a family garden, and certainly no large herds of cattle could graze there. He also found more time to spend with Kendrew, who by this point had grown quite fond of him. There were times when Lord Walter would leave for a week at a time, to inspect another Lennox property, and each time he did it was obvious to all how much Kendrew missed him.

Claire was beginning to think she would never see Fraser again, when he wrote her that he was going to Edinburgh in three weeks time, with his brothers Calum and Tavish. He wrote of his longing to see her, and to feel the warmth of her sweet kisses. “I plan to
come to Inchmurrin for several days once we arrive in Edinburgh.”

Anticipation was good for one thing, in Claire’s opinion, and that was to make time pass painfully slow. She did not know why she chose to do it, but she did not tell Isobel about Fraser’s plans to visit until a few days before he was due to arrive.

“Fraser Graham is coming here for several days?” Isobel said. “I do not think that is a good idea, Claire. How will it look for a man to come to see ye specifically, and to reside in the same house as ye?”

“We willna be alone,” Claire said, “and with three sisters and a brother like mine, I canna anticipate we will have any time alone.”

“Why is he coming?”

“The Grahams were friends of my father before he married our mother, and they continued to be. The last time they were here, we all became very close friends with Lord Monleigh, Fraser and Niall.”

“Weel,” she said, “what is done is done, and we canna do anything aboot it now. However, in the future, do not be so lax in advising me of yer plans. There is a reason why a young woman yer age is placed under the guidance of an adult.”

When a woman wants a man and lusts after him, the lover need not bother to conjure up opportunities, for she will find more in an hour than we men could think of in a century.

Pierre de Bourdeilles, Abbé de Brantôme (c. 1530-1614), French courtier, soldier, author.
The Lives of Gallant Ladies,
“First Essay” (1659)

H
e knew Claire must have seen his boat as it approached the island, for she was waiting for him on the dock.

When Fraser stepped off the boat, she came to him. “Welcome back to Inchmurrin, Fraser. We have missed ye sorely.”

Fraser was speechless. She had matured, and was so breathtakingly beautiful that the words he had ready to say to her suddenly seemed inappropriate, and unworthy of such a woman.

Her smile alone would put a thousand candles to shame, for it seemed to light up the world, or at least
that small part of it that he was occupying at the moment.

He could not believe his good fortune to have a woman such as Claire who loved him.

“Ye came,” she said.

“Aye, do ye think I would allow anything to stop me from seeing ye? Ye are more beautiful than I remembered.”

Dermot picked up Fraser’s portmanteau, and Claire slipped her arm through his and walked with him down the path. “Welcome back to Inchmurrin. ’Tis good to have ye here.”

“I am already wishing I could take ye with me when I leave. ’Tis not easy for me to be so far from ye.”

“’Tis the same for me.”

“How are your sisters?”

“They are adjusting better than I thought they would. Much to my surprise, Isobel and Lord Walter have proved themselves to be quite the grandest guardians.”

“I will have to add my name to the list of surprised persons,” Fraser said, “for I dinna trust either of them.”

She put her hand on his arm. “Do not be critical and judgmental, especially when ye have no reason to be.”

“Anything you ask,” he said. “When will we have some time alone?” He saw the color rise to her cheeks and he wondered if her feelings for him had changed, or if she was simply shy, due to their long separation.

“It willna be a simple task to find a place or a time to be alone,” she said. “The island is small and my sisters know every inch of it and, of course, there is no hiding from the dogs.”

“We will find a few minutes alone, surely. How are ye at climbing trees?”

She gave him a look that was half surprise and half humor. “I canna believe ye said that.”

“What do ye mean? How could I have said something wrong?”

She smiled and hugged his arm. “Not wrong at all, Fraser. To the contrary, it might prove to be the opposite. I had completely forgotten about it until you reminded me. When my sisters and I were much younger, we loved to climb the trees and watch the boats on the loch, and whenever one came toward the island, we would run to find someone to tell them.”

“Like a sentry,” he said, amused at her animated voice.

“Aye, like a sentry. But, one day we saw a boat and Kenna wanted to be the first one down, so she could be first to tell our father that a boat was coming. In her haste, she fell out of the tree. My father feared she had broken her back, but thankfully it wasna that bad, but she couldna climb trees for a long time.”

“And that is all? That is all ye wanted to tell me?”

“No, of course not. At first we were forbidden to climb the trees anymore, but when Father saw how glum we were over losing our favorite pastime, he had a ladder built so we could climb it, and then they built us a little house in the tree. It had a door and three windows, so we could look in different directions on the loch. And the walls kept us from falling out.”

Fraser laughed. “Claire Lennox, are ye suggesting that we climb a tree so we be alone, in a house built for fairies?”

“Fairies?”

“Aye, if ye and yer sisters were small, then the house must be a wee house, and in case ye have not noticed, I am not a short man.”

“Weel, I think if ye truly want to be alone with me, ye will find a way to accomplish it.”

Dermot was already holding the door open by the time they arrived. Once they entered, he followed them inside. Isobel and Lord Walter were waiting to greet Fraser.

“Welcome to Inchmurrin,” Lord Walter said. “I trust your trip went well.”

“Thank ye, Lord Walter. I canna complain about it. Nary a problem, for which I am thankful.”

“Walter, do give me a chance to welcome our guest.” Isobel took Fraser’s arm. “We were so delighted to hear you were coming. Do come into the hall. The girls and Kendrew are most anxious to see ye. It will be a good place for us to visit until dinner is served. I trust ye brought yer appetite?”

“Never leave home without it,” Fraser said.

Lord Walter gave Claire his arm and they followed Isobel and Fraser into the hall. Immediately, Fraser was bombarded with welcome greetings from Claire’s sisters and Kendrew.

By the time dinner was served, Fraser found he enjoyed this time of interaction with Claire’s family. Her sisters were of the age that he found utterly charming, and he had already decided Briana was going to be a heartbreaker for certain, for she was already a little coquette.

Fraser happened to ask them how they all liked living on an island.

“It is peaceful,” Greer said. “And we have no wolves.”

“I find it lonely,” Claire said. “Yer friends rarely come to visit, because they dinna like to ride the boat over here.”

“Weel,” Briana said, “ye should find yersel’ some other lonely people, and then ye willna have to be lonely anymore.”

“There isna enough room to ride yer horses verra far,” Kendrew said.

“And ye, Briana?” Fraser asked when she had not said anything. “Do ye find it lonely living on an island?”

“Aye, ye have to go ten miles to find a mosquito.”

Listening to all the conversation, Fraser found himself amazed at Kendrew, and begrudgingly had to admit that Lord Walter had done much to pull him out of the cocoon of sadness he had surrounded himself with. All of them looked healthy and happy, to the point he was beginning to wonder if he had misjudged Isobel and Lord Walter.

When Claire came down for breakfast, she learned that Fraser had eaten earlier, and then went for a walk with Kendrew. When they returned, Claire began to fear she might never have even five minutes alone with him, for he was the center of everyone’s attention and was literally being pulled in five different directions by her siblings. Aye, it was enjoyable to observe the way he interacted with them, but Claire could not hold the stab of jealousy that attacked her now and then.

At first she blamed her sisters and brother, and then she blamed Fraser, for it seemed to her that he could have ended it at any point and suggested he and Claire
take a walk. She did not think that she might have done the same. Instead, since he did not choose to do so, she began to wonder if he had given up on the idea entirely.

She was about two shakes away from being quite cross with him when Fraser untangled himself from his admiring throng and came to take her hand and pull her to her feet.

“It is time I gave Claire some of the attention I have given all of ye,” he said, and turned to Claire. “Would ye care to show me around yer island? I am not accustomed to being idle, or indoors for much o’ the day. A walk would be nice aboot now. What say ye?”

Before Claire could answer, they were surrounded and heard a chorus of “We want to go with ye.”

“Not this time,” Isobel said. “I believe Fraser has earned his walk and a few minutes alone with Claire. After all, he didna come here to while away his hours with the five of ye, now did he?”

“Kendrew, I believe Lord Walter has need of ye down at the boat dock. He said ye were going to go to the mainland today to ride. Have ye forgotten?”

“Aye, Aunt Isobel, I forgot,” Kendrew said, and hurried from the room.

“As for the rest of ye, I have something I want ye to help me with,” Isobel said, while she gave Claire and Fraser a wave of her hand, which told them to take advantage of the moment to slip away.

Which they promptly did.

“Weel, I will have to say that surprised me,” Fraser said. “And here I was thinking Isobel and Lord Walter were going to make it nigh impossible for us to have even one moment together.”

“See? I told ye how nice they were. Now, dinna ye feel poorly for thinking the worst o’ them?”

“I suppose I should,” he said.

“Aye, ye should,” she said, and cocked an eye at him. “Ye should, but I can tell that ye dinna.”

They rounded a bend in the path, and Fraser pulled Claire behind a tree. She stood on the hump of roots, which put her almost at eye level with him. She leaned against the tree and waited to see what he would do.

He drew her into his arms, and backed against the tree as she was, when he held her close, their bodies were intimately aligned, and in her little black muslin dress, there was plenty of him to feel. Everything inside her seemed to thicken, while her heartbeat escalated. She felt quivery with anticipation, and so hungry for him, she had to force herself to wait and let him take the lead.

His hands were caressing the sides of her neck now, while he trailed kisses over her face, whispering endearments, and telling her how much he missed her; how much he thought about the time they made love.

“Ye smell like flowers and rain and sunshine all rolled together, and yer skin is softer than a rose petal.” He unbuttoned her dress, and his hand cupped her breast and lifted it so it was exposed. Her body was reacting to him, his nearness and his words, running ahead of her, not heeding her reminders to be reserved.

His thumb moved back and forth over her nipple and she pressed her cheek against his dark head when he leaned down to take her into his mouth. The first tug on her breast sent wave after wave of desire throughout her body. She wanted him almost to the point of ripping her clothes off and pulling him down on top of her.

He brought his head up and covered her mouth with his, drawing her tongue into his mouth, then giving her the feel of his in return. She moaned and moved against him, and heard his breathing deepen, as she sensed a heightened sense of urgency pressing, pushing and driving him forward, as if some unknown had taken over. She felt his hand on her bare leg, and wondered how he got her gown up and his hand under her drawers without her knowing he had done so.

Then she felt his fingers touching her and her knees almost buckled beneath her. “Ye are ready, lass. Where? Where can we go?”

Her head was thrown back and she was breathing in short pants. It took a moment for her to speak, so overcome with wanting him as she was. “If ye dinna stop touching me like that, I willna be able to go anywhere, Fraser. Why do ye torture me so?”

“So I can ease yer suffering,” he replied.

Still not trusting her voice, she took his hand and led him through the trees. They cut through a corner of the rhododendron thicket and climbed up a rocky embankment, until they reached an enormous tree with vines trailing down from its lofty branches. There was nothing around, save the woods behind them and the wide expanse of loch on three sides.

Claire stepped around the tree. The ladder was still there, although overgrown with vines. She hitched her skirts and started up, pushing vines aside as she went.

When she reached the landing, she was surprised to see the wooden floor had been swept clean by the wind, and the boards were still sturdy. She crawled forward and pulled herself up.

By the time Fraser reached the top, she already had
the door open and was inside looking around. There were a few leaves in the corner, but she was not certain that there might not be an insect or two hidden among them. She was wondering what to do when Fraser poked his head in and took her hand, drawing her back to the landing. She put her hand on the railing and looked up at him, a question in her raised brows.

He removed his jacket and laid it on the boards, and started to undress.

“Here?” she asked.

“Aye, I canna fit in that wee box. My elbows will be knocking the walls oot.”

She smiled, and began undoing the rest of her buttons. She turned her dress to the wrong side and laid it near his jacket. By the time she finished, Fraser was as bare as a bone. She studied the magnificent body, the smooth, firm muscle, the flat contours of his stomach, and lower, until she smiled. He was her man, and he was truly ready for her.

She began to tug at the ribbons of her chemise. When it was off, she lay down, wearing nothing but her drawers.

He was beside her quickly, and his hands began to caress her, touching each breast and teasing it to heightened awareness, before he ran his flattened palm over her ribs and the flat planes of her stomach, and lower. Her heart began to hammer so furiously, she wondered if it possible to have a heart that beat until it flew right out of her chest. A thought suddenly popped into her head, and she wondered if she was being too easy and too brazen, or if she had fallen too quickly into such a comfortable feeling with him, and
now he intended to see that she gave him what he brought her out here to receive.

Yet, if she were honest, she had to admit that it was the same reason she allowed him to bring her here, which made it seem that she wanted this as much as he. Since it seemed to her that they were even in desire, purpose and need, there was not much point in considering such thoughts beyond that.

She turned her head to give him her mouth, and he wasted no time in kissing her, but not the same hot, passionate kiss of a moment ago, but a languid, probing kiss that said he knew exactly what he was about, for it had her writhing beneath him—or was the cause the delicious things he was doing to her with his wandering hand?

She kissed him back, matching him thrust for thrust, wanting more of his hot tongue inside her mouth. He dug his fingers into her hair, and whispered erotic Gaelic phrases in her ear, of what he wanted to do to her, and what he wanted her to do to him. He told her how beautiful she was and how much he had wanted to do this since the moment he stepped off the boat, and saw her there waiting for him.