Let Me Be Your Hero (8 page)

Fraser put his arm around her, and Claire turned to go with him. For a brief instant she glanced up at the castle and saw Isobel standing at the window, an expression of hateful intensity that went beyond hostility twisting the edges of her smile. Most frightening of all was the look of pure hate in her eyes, and
then it was gone, and Claire walked away with Fraser, wondering if it was Isobel she saw or some malevolent spirit impersonating her.

Fate sits on these dark battlements, and frowns; And as the portals open to receive me, Her voice, in sullen echoes, through the courts, Tells of a nameless deed

Ann Radcliffe (1764-1823), British novelist.

The Mysteries of Udolpho
(1794)

A
bride. The words hung in the back of her mind, almost overpowering the words being said.

With her arm through Fraser’s, she bowed her head and spoke the words led by the minister.

The wedding was a small one, held at Graham-stone Castle, with Claire, Fraser, Lord Monleigh, the Duke and Duchess of Argyll, and a few of the Graham clansmen present.

The duchess, a kind and thoughtful lady, brought a gown for Claire, a lovely violet silk, trimmed with Irish lace the color of cream.

It was the first gown that was not black that Claire had worn since the death of her father and brothers. “I thank ye, yer grace. “’Tis the most beautiful gown a bride could ever hope to own.”

The duchess put her hand on Claire’s. “It is a gift to honor this day. Ye are the daughter of a fine, honorable and just man and the bride of a fine, honorable and just man. My husband and I are proud to call them both friend. I ken yer father is pleased with ye, Claire, and with yer decision to marry a man he knew and approved of, and what happier occasion to end yer period o’ mourning than the blessed occasion of yer marriage?”

They gathered for dinner after the wedding, and some lively Highland dancing afterward. Claire was too much in love to give much thought to Isobel and Lord Walter, or to care if they approved of her marriage to Fraser or not. She had no idea that the happiest day of her life would also be a turning point, which would be followed by a time of pain and sadness.

Jamie returned to Monleigh Castle, while Claire and Fraser remained at Grahamstone Castle for a few months. Claire made several attempts to have her brother and sisters visit her, but Isobel and Lord Walter refused to allow them to leave the island.

Isobel’s letters were always kind. She would speak
of how much she missed Claire, “for ye are like a daughter to me. I do hope ye and Fraser will take it upon yerselves to return to Inchmurrin and live where ye were meant to live, at Lennox Castle. I know ye are upset we willna allow yer sisters to visit ye, but as long as we are responsible for them, we think it best to keep them with us.”

It grieved Claire, and her sadness compelled Fraser to ask a question he did not want to ask. “Do ye want us to live at Lennox Castle with yer sisters? Would that make ye happy, love?”

Oh, of course she did, more than anything, yet she hesitated because she knew that it would not be good for Fraser. That left her torn between her love and loyalty to her siblings, and her love and loyalty to her husband.

In the midst of feeling trapped in the middle of a dilemma, a letter came. It was from Kenna.

Claire gave the letter to Fraser. “Of course we will go, love. We will leave early in the morning. It willna take us overlong, and ye can see yer family afore ye go to bed tomorrow night.”

She was surprised that Dermot was nowhere around when they arrived, and neither were her dogs. She thought they must be on the other side of the island, as she lifted her skirts and hurried across the cobblestone courtyard.

The moment she stepped inside Lennox Castle, it seemed dark and gloomy. The drapes were all closed, and the air musty and stale. She glanced at Fraser, who obviously noticed it as well. Before she went upstairs, Claire pulled back the draperies and opened several windows to let in the fresh air.

“I have the drapes closed because I thought it best for Kendrew,” Isobel said. “The doctor said the damp air was not good for him.”

Claire was startled, for she did not hear Isobel approach. “Oh, I see. Well, I shall close them, then.”

“I hope ye have come home to stay,” she said. “Welcome back, Fraser. Although ye didna leave here on the best o’ terms, I hope we can put that behind us and focus on the common good.”

“I think that is best for everyone concerned,” Fraser replied.

Isobel smiled, not a warm, loving smile, but neither was it hostile. “Good. I shall have someone see to yer room.”

Claire glanced toward the stairs. “Kendrew…is he…”

“He is in bed, and much too weak to leave it,” she replied.

“And ye have no idea what ails him?” Claire asked.

“No, and neither do a handful of doctors. They all have their different theories and their treatments, but nothing has helped. He is progressively growing worse day by day. It is terribly painful to watch. I feel so useless. I do not know what else to do.”

“I shall go to him,” Claire said as she wiped the tears from her face.

Fraser took Claire’s arm and the two of them went above stairs to Kendrew’s room. Claire stopped outside the door. “If ye dinna mind, Fraser, will ye wait here and let me see him alone for a moment? He might be uncomfortable to talk o’ his illness in front o’ ye. Give me five minutes, and then ye can come in.”

Fraser hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head. “I will wait here.”

Claire stood on her toes and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love ye, Fraser, and I am glad I have ye beside me.”

He cupped her cheek with his hand. “I love ye more.”

She turned and quietly entered Kendrew’s room, but her beautiful brother was not there. In his place was a terribly wasted creature, nothing more than a collection of bones covered by thin, pale skin that had a yellow cast. His once fair face was pitifully shrunken, with sunken cheekbones and hollow eyes. He had lost almost all of his hair. His fingernails were loose.

When he saw her, he turned his face to the wall. “I told them not to tell ye,” he said, his voice dry and papery.
“I didna want ye to see me like this, Claire. Please go. Do not look at me.”

“Hush, ye silly goose. ’Tis yer sister ye be talking to, and I willna let ye push me away.” She went to his bedside and sat beside him. She took his frail hand, and when he turned to look at her, she smiled and said, “I am home, laddie, and I willna let anything happen to ye. Ye are going to get well, ye ken.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. “I willna get well, Claire. I am dying, and I dinna mind, not really. I have told God that I am ready to go. I am tired. I find myself longing to be with Breac and Ronaln. I want to see our father and, if I may, I should like to see our mother, too. I think the male line of the Lennoxes is cursed, and I am the last of the ancient Celtic earls. Mayhap the curse will lift when I die, and ye and our sisters will not suffer the same fate. I thank ye for coming, and I am glad I was able to see ye one last time afore I go.”

Tears were rolling down Claire’s face. He patted her hand weakly. “Ye were always a guid sister to me,” he said, “even when I was no such a guid wee brother.”

“Ye were always exactly what I wanted in a wee brother, and dinna ye forget that.”

She saw a slight smile lift the corners of his mouth, and she felt Fraser’s hand on her shoulder. So moved by Kendrew’s condition, she had not heard Fraser enter the room.

“What would ye say, Kendrew, if I told ye any wish ye had would be granted,” Fraser said. “What would ye wish for?”

“I would wish for a boat ride on the loch, for I long to see it.”

“We shall take ye tomorrow, then,” Claire said, and she saw the disappointment in his eyes.

“I dinna see what is wrong with going today. How aboot ye, Kendrew? Are ye up to a boat ride today?” Fraser asked.

“Aye, I ken today is the day I must go.”

Fraser bundled him up in his bedding and carried him from his room.

Isobel was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, dear, where are ye going with him?”

“For a ride around the loch in the boat,” Fraser said.

“Do ye think that wise? I was told he should have peace and quiet. The outside air is bad for him. The doctor specifically said to keep him inside.”

“We have done all o’ that,” Kendrew said, “and it hasna made me better. It willna hurt me, Aunt Isobel. I willna get better even if I stay inside. I asked to go. I want to see the loch.”

Isobel turned and put her face in her hands, and spoke with a muffled voice, “All right. If that is what ye wish.”

They carried him down to the dock, put him in the boat, and placed him so he leaned against Claire. That way she could keep her hands on his shoulders, in case he should be unable to hold himself in place.

Claire knew Kendrew was weak, but even so, he found the strength to make a few comments about how beautiful the lake was. He must have thanked Fraser for taking him at least three or four times. They arrived back at the dock at sunset, so Kendrew could see the sun go down.

She would never know where Fraser got the
strength of ten men to row the boat as far and as long as he did, and still find the added strength to carry Kendrew back to the castle and up to his room.

Lord Walter and her sisters arrived shortly after they put Kendrew to bed. After a brief reunion with them, Claire fed Kendrew a little soup and tried to get him to eat more, but he turned his head away. “I would like to sleep now. Thank ye both for the ride. I wanted to see the loch again.”

God must have had a reason why no men would hold the earldom of Errick and Mains, for young though he was, Kendrew’s time on earth was all too brief. He died two days after Claire and Fraser returned to Inchmurrin, and the last of the great Celtic Mormears of Levenax passed away with the death of Kendrew, Lord Errick, Earl of Errick and Mains.

Because he was loved by everyone, each person took his death terribly hard. Claire’s sisters had not stopped crying. Claire felt as if everything vital inside her had died with him. Fraser tried to console them all, but he felt helpless.

Isobel and Lord Walter were both terribly distraught over Kendrew’s death. Isobel blamed herself. “I should have found more doctors.”

Lord Walter disagreed. “Ye did everything ye could for him…more than anyone. Ye nursed him, read to him and brought in at least six doctors. There was nothing more that ye could have done.”

They commissioned an elaborate marker for his grave, in the form of an ancient Celtic cross. Several times Claire saw Isobel in Kendrew’s room, crying as she packed his things away.

Strangely, when she told Fraser about it, he was unusually
sarcastic. “Mayhap she was looking for coins he might have left in his pockets.”

“That was especially cruel of ye, Fraser. What has come over ye?”

“Could be that the strain of all of this is getting to me as well as ye and yer sisters.”

He was right. It was getting to everyone, and when they were not crying they were waspish with one another.

Claire could not understand why his death had to follow so soon after her brothers’ and her father’s, or why Kendrew had changed from a robust, laughing child into a pale and thin lad, whom her sisters said never laughed and seldom seemed to notice anything that went on around him.

“It was as if he found another realm where he preferred to exist,” Kenna said.

Claire missed the presence of Dermot, and had yet to see her dogs. She went to Isobel and asked where they were.

“Gone.”

“Gone? Gone where? Dermot has been here since afore I was born.”

“I know that, but he was getting too old. He was especially upset over Kendrew and did not want to remain and see the end of the male line. Lord Walter arranged for him to live on one o’ yer father’s properties near Appledore.”

“And my dogs?”

“The doctor thought we should be rid of them. He thought they might carry some disease that infected Kendrew. Ye know how impossible it was to keep them oot o’ the house. Dermot said he would like to
have them, so he took them with him. If ye want them back, I am sure Dermot will understand.”

“I would like Lord Duffus,” she said, but knowing that would have to wait.

Fraser was sitting in a chair by the fire when Claire came into the room. He looked up and saw the pale face, the look of sadness in her eyes.

“What ails ye, love?”

“Do ye think our family is cursed, that we are all going to follow my father and my brothers?” She dropped to her knees in front of him, and with tears streaming down her face, she asked him, “Will I be the next to die?”

Fraser took her in his arms and pulled her into his lap. “Ye are not cursed, and nothing will happen to ye. For as long as I have a breath in my body, I will protect ye, Claire Lennox.”

In spite of Fraser’s loving words, Claire could never completely dispel the lingering feeling that her family had fallen out of favor, or perhaps it was that God had turned his back on them completely. She could not shake the feeling that the rest of them were destined to die off, one by one.

Shortly after Kendrew’s death, the title was settled upon Claire, who became suo jure, the Twelfth Countess of Errick and Mains. As the Countess of Errick and Mains in her own right, she inherited the earldom and all unentailed estates of the house of Lennox.

She was also heir presumptive to the reversion of lands in Caithness and Argyll, which were entailed, under her mother’s will. Her mother’s will also entailed to her twelve oxgangs of the Halls of Airth and Monyabroch in Dumfriesshire.