Let Me In (4 page)

“No,” she said roughly, fighting to keep it together. “Just get me to a hotel. Please.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” It was the only thing she
was
sure of right now.

He removed his hand, but his fingers brushed across the back of her neck in a gentle caress that only increased the ache inside.

To keep him from talking to her, she turned up the radio and sat stiffly in her seat while he drove. When he finally pulled into the parking lot of a nearby Best Western, she couldn’t wait to check in and hide in her room for the night.

She jumped out of the truck before he could open her door, but he caught up with her as she reached the lobby doors and snagged her with an arm around her waist, ignoring her effort to put distance between them. Worse, he stayed right beside her as she booked a room, then followed her upstairs.

Talia unlocked the door with the key card and spoke without turning around. “Thanks for everything, Liam. Good night.” With that, she stepped into the empty room, dismissing him. Wanting to be alone so she could let out the pain roiling inside her.

Liam blocked the door from closing with a solid forearm and entered while she turned away. “Don’t do this,” he said in a low voice. “Something happened back there. Talk to me.”

She dropped her duffel at the foot of the bed with a soft thud. “I don’t want to talk, Liam. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“So tell me what happened. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

No matter how helpful his intent, the domineering attitude was really starting to piss her off. She shot a hard glare at him over her shoulder. “This is my room,” she said coldly. “I paid for it, and I don’t want any company right now.”

His dark eyes raked over her face, and she could feel him cataloguing every nuance of her expression. Each line of strain on her face. She had the unnerving sense that he saw right through her. “You don’t want to talk?”

“No.”

“You sure about that?”

The tension in the air thickened. Turning around, she nodded, but something in his eyes sent a frisson of unease through her. He looked…predatory all of a sudden. “I’m sure.”

He nodded once, his mouth set in a grim line. “Fine.”

Before she could move, he’d covered the two steps between them and pulled her into his arms. The shock of being pressed against his hard chest caught her off guard. He took advantage of her surprise and cradled the back of her head with one hand, pulling her face against his shoulder while his other arm banded around her waist. Caging her with his strength. Automatically she brought her arms up to push away, but he tightened his hold and curved around her without a word. The tender, protective gesture caused her heart to roll over in her chest.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought to be strong and hold onto the tenuous grip she had over her emotions. God, he felt amazing. Powerful and masculine, yet the way he held her so close, nothing sexual, just an offer of comfort…it tangled her up. How many times had she dreamed of this? How many times had she ached to have Liam’s arms around her, chasing all her demons away, even for a moment?

His heart drummed steadily beneath her cheek. He didn’t say anything, simply held her tightly. Like he cared. Like she mattered to him. It made her want to lean against him, take the solace he was offering.

Despite her efforts to stay detached, her resolve began to waver as the seconds passed. What would it hurt to live this part of her fantasy? To stop fighting him and let him share her burden for just a little while?

Releasing a breath, she leaned into his body, allowing her stiff muscles to relax. In response Liam pressed his cheek to the top of her head and cradled her even closer. Her hands slowly uncurled on his shoulders, her palms molding around the hard contours of muscle there. But as he held her the ache inside her dissipated, transforming into sensual warmth.

Pressed against his sculpted chest, her breasts began to tingle. Tiny shockwaves of sensation raced to her nipples, down to her belly and between her thighs. She went rigid.
Pull away. Now. Before you do something stupid.

Rather than release her, Liam raised his head and took her face between his hands, staring down at her intently. The blatant desire in his eyes made her mouth go dry. He hadn’t looked at her in a sexual way for a long time, and never with this kind of heat. Talia sucked in a quick breath as shock dissolved beneath a tidal wave of need. He was so close, so huge, every bit of his concentration focused on her.

“You know, I’m
really
sick of you shutting me out,” he said in a low voice, tracing his thumbs over her cheekbones.

Trapped by his stare, she gazed up at him, her mind wiped blank. It took her a moment to find her voice. “I haven’t—”

“Yeah, you have. But not anymore, because that shit ends right here and now.” His gaze dipped to her lips, and her belly did a delicious somersault. The surge of lust that tore through her stole her breath, left her muscles locked in an agony of suspense.

Oh God, oh, God…

His hands tipped her head back as he lowered his mouth to hers. She didn’t protest. Couldn’t. She wanted this. Needed this connection, to have his warmth chase away the cold and loneliness inside her.

The touch of his lips lit up every nerve ending in her body. She made a tiny sound of distress.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he soothed, kissing the corner of her mouth.

She shook her head slightly, on fire but afraid of ruining everything.

He didn’t let go. “I would never hurt you. Just let me…” He feathered his tongue across her lips, then pressed inside to caress her own when she opened for him. It was so damn good she couldn’t stop. His mouth moved over hers in a slow, hypnotic motion, the erotic glide of his tongue making her quiver. The kiss wasn’t tentative or soft. It was deep and possessive, a full-out sensual assault on her battered nervous system. He kissed her like he’d been dying to kiss her and couldn’t hold back anymore.

Hot, sweet desire whipped through her, peaking her nipples and dampening the throbbing flesh between her thighs. Her hands fisted on his shoulders, a sound of denial escaping from her throat. They shouldn’t do this. She should push him away, tell him to get out, but he felt so good and she was so lost…

With a dark sound of hunger low in his throat, Liam drove her backward until he had her back pinned flat up against the wall, every inch of his hard body molded to hers. His hands tightened in her hair, holding her still while he explored her mouth with his tongue, his hips rocking the solid ridge of his erection against her lower belly. Talia gasped and speared her fingers into his silky hair, arching her back to press her breasts against him. She wanted his hands on them, his mouth sucking the tender tips, easing the heated ache there. Her body felt hot, weak. He tasted delicious, and combined with the hard length of his cock digging into her belly, the velvet stroke of his tongue in her mouth had her trembling with need.

He held her in place easily with his body, taking complete control.

That show of male dominance, his ultra-sexy confidence that told her he knew exactly how to please a woman, triggered something dark and needy to unfurl inside her. She’d heard things about him, from some of Angie’s friends and a few of his Marine friends she’d met overseas, about him liking control over his partners in bed, and now she knew it was true. Dark fantasies of being tied up and at his mercy swam through her mind, turned her body liquid. If they had sex he would take over entirely, render her helpless and make her beg for more, scream his name as he fucked her. And she’d love every second of it.

It scared the hell out of her.

Clinging to what remained of her sanity, she dragged her mouth away. “I can’t,” she panted in a ragged voice. “I can’t do this.”

Breathing hard, eyes glittering with naked need, Liam stared at her. “Why not?”

“Just can’t.” Frantic, she shoved at his shoulders. If he kept seducing her, pushing her, she’d cave and let him take her right here. Her body screamed for release. She knew he’d give it to her. He’d pin her to that bed behind him while she sobbed in ecstasy as he pleasured her with his mouth, his cock. And she’d let him do it all. Anything he wanted, the consequences be damned. He released her hair and eased back but didn’t free her from the cage of his arms. His delectable scent infused the air around them, clean and masculine. Her head spun.

“Tell me why, Tal. You want me.”

Of course she wanted him! It tore her up to walk away from this chance to be with him the way she’d always dreamed of. How could she possibly make him understand? She searched for the right words. “I don’t…I don’t want to lose you.”

His expression instantly softened. He cupped her hot cheek, caressed it with his thumb. “Baby, you won’t lose me. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

The sincerity in his eyes, in his voice, made her ache. She wanted to believe him that things wouldn’t change between them if they slept together. But she didn’t dare take the risk. He and his family were too important to her. Aside from the Corps, they were the only solid foundation in her life.

Legs unsteady, aching for so much more of him, she pulled free of his embrace. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

A tense moment passed. Jaw tightening, Liam stepped back and nodded slowly.

Mentally wincing at the anger she sensed simmering inside him, she tried to think of something to say. God, had she ruined everything anyway? “I’m so sor—”

“Apologize again and I’m going to get pissed off,” he growled, spearing her with that hot, dark gaze.

She stood there in uncertainty while the sexual tension hummed thick in the air around them. For a second she wavered, thought about giving in, then mentally slapped herself for the traitorous thought.

Finally he sighed and raked a hand through his hair. A picture of male frustration. “You said you’re going back to you mom’s tomorrow. What time?”

The reminder left her cold. “Not sure.”

Liam snorted. “Hell, Tal, you don’t want to sleep with me, fine, I can handle that. But I’m not going to take anymore of this bullshit with you shutting me and everyone else out, thinking you have to handle everything on your own. Whatever happened back there tonight upset you, and I’ll be damned if you’re going alone tomorrow.”

His words made her chest tighten. The angry tone didn’t matter; she heard the concern and sincerity in his voice. She swallowed against the sudden pressure in her throat. “I’m not sure when I’ll go. Probably in the morning.” But she didn’t want him to be there to see it.

“I’ll drive you over and stay in the damn truck if that’s what you want.”

“You don’t have to—” She broke off at the dangerous look on his face. If she kept refusing his help, she might inadvertently push him away entirely. “All right. Thank you.”

A sardonic smile tilted his lips, still swollen and shiny from kissing her. “You’re welcome.” He turned and headed for the door, giving her a prime view of the broad shoulders she’d clung to. “Lock up behind me.”

“I will.”

At the door he looked back at her, and the unfulfilled hunger in his eyes hit her square in the chest. “G’night.”

“G’night.”

The door clicked shut behind him. Scrubbing a hand over her face, on unsteady legs she walked over and put the safety latch on before turning to lean back against the door. Her skin was oversensitive, the folds of her sex swollen and damp. The freshly made-up queen-size bed stood before her, mocking her with its pristine, unwrinkled white sheets. She could have been writhing against those sheets right now, with Liam poised above her naked body, fulfilling every sexual need.

“You made your bed,” she muttered to herself in disgust. “Now go lie in it.”

Chapter Three

The next morning after breakfast, Talia finally worked up the guts to call Liam and accept his offer for a ride. Angie had left a message on her cell while she’d been in the shower, asking if she wanted to go shopping. She’d briefly thought about calling her back, then chickened out. What would she say?

Can’t go shopping. Guess I should finally tell you that my mom’s a compulsive hoarder, and she’s about to be evicted again. Oh, and by the way, I made out with your brother last night.

She raked a hand through her hair. Everything was such a mess.

Fifteen minutes later she stood waiting for Liam outside the lobby wearing the coat he’d loaned her. The air was crisp despite the bright sunshine, the clouds obscuring the mountain peaks promising more snow. She hadn’t slept worth a damn, tossing and turning through a bizarre mix of nightmares about what awaited her today and erotic dreams of Liam that left her aching for relief. The combination did nothing to ease the nerves twisting in her belly. Liam’s truck pulled up outside the front doors.

“Morning,” he said when he opened the passenger door for her. He looked delicious in his faded jeans and light gray sweater that hugged the muscles of his chest and shoulders. A pair of black Oakleys concealed his eyes, the dark shadow of a beard covering his cheeks and jaw.

“Hi. I, um, brought you some coffee.”

“Thanks. I brought you one, too.” He lifted the infamous green and white cup from the console. “Two sugar and two creams, just the way you like it.”

She grinned, touched by the simple gesture. “Trade ya.”

He smiled back, his fingers brushing hers as they exchanged cups. She knew it wasn’t an accident. The simple touch made her skin prickle with heightened awareness of the scorching kisses they’d shared. Climbing into the truck with him was going to be even harder on her than she’d imagined.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Okay,” she lied. “You?”

He shot her a sidelong glance. “Like shit.”

She bit back a chuckle at his bluntness. “Sorry to hear that.” Though it was kind of nice to know she hadn’t suffered through the sexual frustration alone. An instant image popped into her head of him stretched out in bed, his hand wrapped around his erect cock as he fantasized about her. She squirmed in her seat.

“I’ll bet,” he grumbled. “So. You ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I’ll come with you if you want.”

She knew he would, and she appreciated his offer. This was something she had no intention of letting him witness, however. “Thanks, but I’d rather do it alone.”

He grunted. “Can I stay in the truck at least, or do I have to go somewhere else to wait?” His dry tone left no doubt he wasn’t happy with her response.

Rather than answer, she gave him a level look and raised her brows.

He sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, okay, maybe I sound like an ass, but if you’d just tell me what the hell is so terrible you think you need to hide it from me, I could help. I promise you, whatever it is, there’s nothing you need to be embarrassed about. Not with me.”

Yes, there was. And he didn’t deserve to be saddled with all her baggage. Because once his white-knight complex got the better of him, knowing Liam he’d do everything in his power to rescue her. The thought made her bristle. She didn’t need to be saved, and it would seriously piss her off if he tried. A no-win situation, so she didn’t bother responding.

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Once they hit the dilapidated neighborhood, Talia steeled herself for the coming confrontation.

A few blocks later Liam pulled up at the curb in front of her mother’s place. It looked worse in the daylight than it had the previous night. This visit would be worse, too.

“You don’t have to wait,” she told him quietly. “I can catch a cab—”

“Don’t you
dare
finish that sentence.” Even through the shades she could feel his eyes shooting sparks at her.

Well. Looked like she was going to have to do this with somewhat of an audience. She hoped everything would go smoothly. “Okay. And…thanks.”

A startled smile curved his lips. “You’re welcome.” She started to get out, but he caught her wrist and waited until she met his gaze. “I’ll be right here if you change your mind, okay?”

Damn, he was going to reduce her to tears before she even faced the hard part. “Okay.” Climbing out before the temptation to reach for him became too much, she strode up the walkway and knocked on the door. No answer. She raised her hand to knock again when a suspicious voice called out from inside.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Tal, Mom.”

A few seconds later she heard the sound of locks turning and braced herself for the first look at her mother and the inside of her house.

The door opened a crack and her mother’s face appeared in the opening. Too thin, devoid of makeup. She wore a drab beige sweatshirt, something she’d only put on if she planned to hide inside all day. Talia’s heart sank.

Her mother met her gaze briefly before scanning outside warily. “Who’s that in the truck?”

She hid her disappointment at the terse demand. “A friend.”
Hi, Mom. I missed you too, and I’m so glad to be here.

“I don’t want him inside.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll stay in the truck.” She pushed back the anxiety threatening to swamp her. This wasn’t going to have a happy ending, she knew it, even though she’d hoped it might. “Can I come in?”

Her mother’s eyes hardened. Deep brown, unlike hers, but with the same emphasized tilt from their shared Asian heritage. “Yeah, I guess, but if you’ve come to give me a lecture, I don’t want to hear it.”

Any traces of hope she’d held on to died in that moment. As she stood there, a rank odor seeped out of the house, smelling of rancid garbage. When her mother swung the door open just enough for her to squeeze through it sideways, Talia had to bite down hard to hold back the cry of denial that rose in her throat.

The entire house was choked with endless piles of junk, from the floor to halfway to the ceiling in places. She couldn’t even see the furniture anymore. Every surface was swallowed by mounds of clothes, papers, books, the never-ending garage sale items her mother obsessively brought home. The clutter was so bad it blocked out the light from the windows, piles of it extending into what used to be the family room and into the kitchen beyond.

Some people buried their pain and disappointment in life with alcohol, food or drugs. Her mother had chosen instead to bury hers in mountains of useless junk.

A strange roaring sound filled her ears. Her brain refused to process what she was witnessing. It was worse than she’d ever seen it. She couldn’t even pick out the chairs or tables she knew were hiding beneath it all. Furniture Talia had bought and paid for the last time she’d been home, when she’d moved her mother in here after completing the intensive therapy she’d finally agreed to. The betrayal bubbling up inside her hurt almost as much as the disappointment. Her mother had sworn she’d changed. Had vowed she’d dutifully followed the instructions her therapist had given her over the course of her treatment.

Yeah, and that worked like a charm, didn’t it?

“So?” her mother began, folding her arms defensively across the front of her grungy sweatshirt. Her hair looked unkempt and greasy, like it hadn’t been washed in a while. Another sign that she’d sunk back into a debilitating depression. “What are you doing here? Come to tell me what a disappointment I am?”

Sweet Jesus, she didn’t know what to say. This was not the homecoming she’d hoped for. With unsteady fingers she pulled the folded envelope out of her back pocket. No sense putting off the inevitable. “Your neighbor gave this to me last night when I came by. She said it’s the second notice.”

Snatching it from her, her mother took one look at the words on the envelope and began tearing it to shreds. “I am
not. Leaving
,” she snarled, a note of desperation in her voice. She tossed the pieces behind her onto another pile of stuff and began to turn away.

Talia took a deep breath. She had to stay calm. “The landlord is coming today with a crew.”

Her mother’s shoulders stiffened. “I don’t care.”

Talia ran a hand over her face. “Mom, they’re going to kick you out.”
Again.
“Where are you going to go?”

“I’m not leaving. They can’t make me go.”

“Yes, they can. What are you going to do?”

She whirled around, her accusatory stare burning holes through Talia. “Does it matter? What do you care, anyway?”

Talia hid a wince and fought back the angry retort on the tip of her tongue. Losing her cool now would only escalate things. She tried another tactic. “Maybe if we cleaned this place up a bit, they’d let you stay.”

Her mother’s furious expression twisted with raw panic. “Don’t you dare touch anything. This is
my
stuff. I’m not letting them take anything!”

Your
stuff
is going to land you on the street!
She held the bitter words back, knowing they’d do absolutely no good. They’d been through this same battle half a dozen times in recent years, with predictable results. If anything, over time her mother’s mental condition had deteriorated and now seemed truly unstable. God knew what she’d do if something pushed her over the edge.

Her mother viewed her belongings as a kind of security blanket that insulated her from the rest of the world, protected her from more pain and disappointment she’d suffered in the outside world. Though they looked like junk that belonged in the dump to everyone else, she wouldn’t release her treasures without a fight. She hoarded due to a deep-seated need for control, something she’d never found in her life or her abysmal relationships with men. Talia got that much, but she’d never fully understand the illness. Why would anyone choose to live this way? Especially when it caused so much hardship for everyone around her?

Looking around at the hopeless picture before her, Talia honestly had no idea what to do now. How was she supposed to fix this?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of loud vehicles pulling up outside. Stomach tight with dread, she stepped to the window and leaned over a pile of what looked like garage-sale kids’ toys to pull a corner of the filthy curtain aside. Men were getting out of two junk disposal company trucks. Liam had climbed out of his truck to speak to them, probably wondering what the hell was going on.

Letting the curtain drop back into place, she closed her eyes a moment to collect herself before facing her mother.

Her mother stood there wringing her thin hands, her expression now pinched with worry. “Who is it?”

“A cleanup crew.”

The fear on her face transformed into a look of utter betrayal. “You called them?”

“No, the landlord must have.”

Her mother didn’t look convinced. “Well, they can’t come in. This is still
my
house, I pay good money every month to live here. And you can get out too.” She whirled and started for the kitchen, her automatic retreat impeded by the mountains of stuff in the way.

“Mom!”

She stopped abruptly at her sharp tone and swiveled around to glare at her. “What?”

Talia took a deep breath, tried for her calmest, most reasonable tone, as if this wasn’t breaking her heart in half. “We have to clean this up today. They’re not going to give you a choice. If you don’t they’ll kick you out and take it all anyway.” Her heart twisted as her mother’s face hardened, rage flashing across her features.