Let Me In (3 page)

She shook her head, but he didn’t miss the way she’d begun to chew on her lower lip. It made him want to put the truck back into park, take her face in his hands and nibble on her mouth himself. Give her something good to think about instead of whatever was bothering her.

When she didn’t say anything else, he left it alone and continued driving. While he didn’t know what the deal with her home life was, he completely understood her need for independence. It was one of the things he admired most about her.

As he drove, she seemed to draw even further into herself. Sensing the unspoken tension in her, he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles in silent reassurance and let the sound of the radio fill the cab.

“You okay?” he asked finally, not looking at her.

She nodded, staring out the windshield. “Just tired.”

“I’ll bet.” But it was way more than that, and they both knew it. He wished he could do something. That she would
let
him do something to help her. It frustrated him that she wouldn’t open up to him, or at least to Angie.

A slight frown pulled at her brows, one hand going to the back of her neck as though it was stiff. Yeah, she was upset about something, and he was pretty sure it had to do with her mother. He could all but feel the anxiety coming off her.

Liam sighed, his fingers itching to push her hand away and rub the tension from the muscles at her nape. “Tal, I can take you by there if you want. It’s no trouble. Really.”

She glanced down at her lap, and after a moment finally spoke. “I don’t even know if she still lives there.”

The words were spoken so softly he could barely hear her over the radio, but the aching sense of loss in her voice made something twist in his chest. Clearly things between her and her mom were worse than he’d imagined. He hated to think of her suffering any kind of neglect or abuse as a kid, though at this point he couldn’t rule it out. And it would sure as hell explain a lot about her aloof, I-don’t-need-anyone exterior.

Keeping his expression impassive, he squeezed her hand. If she refused to let him be more, he could at least be her friend. He wanted a hell of a lot more than that, but right now she needed his support. Whether she admitted it or not. “We can go see, so you’ll know for sure.”

Talia turned her head and regarded him for a long moment, those green-flecked eyes surveying him carefully. Weighing the risk in her mind. “Okay,” she said at last.

Finally, a show of trust. “What’s the address?”

When she told him he took the next exit and headed toward a lower-income part of town. Didn’t surprise him that her mother lived there. He knew Tal’s dad had ditched them when she was just a kid, that her mom had had a bad track record with men ever since and struggled to make ends meet.

Some people had already put up their Christmas lights and he spotted a few lit trees in the windows they passed. The neat, tree-lined streets slowly gave way to a run-down neighborhood. They passed boarded-up houses covered in graffiti and lawns covered with abandoned rusted car parts. No decorations here that he could see. Next to him, he could feel Talia winding up even tighter inside.

“So, how are things with you, anyway?” she blurted, as though she suddenly wanted a distraction.

“Can’t complain. Contracting keeps me busy.”

“I’ll bet.” As if she’d only just realized he was still holding her hand, she gently withdrew it and folded her arms across her chest. Retreating back behind the walls that gave her a sense of security. It bothered him. “How’s your friend Nathan, anyway? He still working with you?”

“Nope. He’s in the corporate world now. And he’s getting hitched next spring.”

Talia whipped her head around to stare at him. “Nathan’s engaged?”

“Yep. And Cait’s a sweetheart. He couldn’t be happier.”

“Wow.” She shook her head. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

Liam grinned and reached out to turn down the radio. “The wild ones always fall the hardest in the end.”

A low laugh came out of her. “Well then, you’re in for one hell of an impact when the right woman comes along.”

He held back from saying the only woman he was currently interested in was sitting right next to him. Though with her defenses firmly in place, she might as well be back in Afghanistan for all the good it did him. “I don’t deny it.”

It was no secret that he and Nate had done a lot of crazy shit together. Including the occasional threesome, the last with Nate’s fiancée. Not that he’d ever tell Talia that. Hell, he still had a hard time believing Nate had allowed it, much less asked him to do it. He didn’t need the extreme sexual thrills like Nathan seemed to, though he’d always have a kinky streak. However, lately he’d grown tired of the flings and short-term relationships he’d always indulged in. He was almost thirty-five—old enough to realize he wanted to settle down with the right woman and build a life together. A loyal, sexy and dependable woman like Talia.

Liam would love to find out how she would react to his dominant tendencies in the bedroom. Would it turn her on, or freak her out? His favorite fantasy involved taking her apart bit by bit, until she surrendered to his every command, every touch, and begged for more. He shifted to relieve the sudden pressure against his straining cock.

She gave him directions then grew quiet again as they approached her mother’s shabby street. The houses here were in better shape than most of the others they’d just passed, but not by much. He could practically feel the tension coming off her, though he had no way of easing it. All he could do was stand back and let her do what she had to do, then be there for her if she needed him. A tiny, selfish part of him prayed he’d get the chance to capitalize on that.

* * *

Coming down the street toward the place her mother rented, Talia’s stomach was a mass of knots. Liam was silent, as if he knew she needed to gather herself. At last the front yard came into view, fairly neat and uncluttered.

She quietly released the breath she’d been holding. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe all the counseling and anxiety medication had helped her mom this time. “Second one on the right,” she said.

Liam pulled up and parked at the curb. She didn’t want to look at him; he was too distracting. Yet for some reason she couldn’t help turning her head. Damn, he was gorgeous. Strong and reliable. The kind of man she’d never had in her life but always dreamed of. Until she’d met him and his family, she’d never realized men like him truly existed.

She undid her seatbelt. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.”

Shutting the truck door behind her, she was surprised at how damp her palms were. The air was so cold her breath rose in misty puffs. Her shoes thudded dully on the cement walkway leading to the front door. She huddled a little deeper into the folds of Liam’s jacket, drawing comfort from the hint of his scent that clung to it. The little white bungalow loomed before her, its drawn curtains making her heart constrict.
It doesn’t mean anything. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Her mother was obsessively private. Had been even before her mental issues became evident.

The hope swelling inside her was almost painful. She wanted this time to be different. She wanted her mother to open that door and smile at her in welcome, show her everything was okay. For some reason the suspense was worse with Liam watching her from the truck. Whatever happened, she didn’t want him to know about her past. Losing his respect would devastate her.

Raising her hand, she knocked sharply on the bright red door. The paint was cracked and peeling in places, but the front step was clear and there was even a welcome mat. She waited. Knocked again.

Nothing.

Anxiety threaded up her spine. Something was wrong. Her mother rarely left the house anymore. Maybe she
had
moved without telling her.

“Excuse me!”

At the faint call she turned to find a middle-aged woman heading over from the house next door, a piece of paper in her hand.

“Are you here to see Kiyomi?”

The muscles in her belly drew tight. “That’s right.”

“You her daughter?” The woman’s gaze flitted over her face as she pulled the halves of her winter coat together. “There’s a resemblance.”

“Yes. I’m Talia.” She offered her hand, trying to ignore the way her heart knocked against her ribs.

“Bev Schmidt. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” An awkward pause ensued. “Um, do you happen to know where…”

“Oh, yes. It’s her bingo night. She goes out every other Wednesday.”

Her pulse stuttered. “I didn’t…realize she still did that.” Probably because the psychiatrist had forbade her from going there and putting herself even further into debt, wasting money she couldn’t afford to spend.

Mrs. Schmidt gave her a tight smile, her eyes holding a note of pity. “The landlord came by today to see her, but she wasn’t home. He left this for her.”

Talia accepted the envelope with stiff fingers. Written in red, the words
Eviction Notice
jumped off the paper, tearing into her numbed brain. A cold, hard fist grabbed her stomach, squeezing with icy fingers.

Not again.

“It’s the second notice,” the woman said softly, the sympathy in her voice raking over Talia’s taut nerves. “He said he’s coming back tomorrow with a crew to, ah, clean the place out.”

Pressing her lips together, Talia nodded and fought to not close her eyes in despair. She knew better than to believe the eviction was because her mother was simply late paying the rent. “Thank you. I’ll take care of it.” Just like she always had.

Unable to look at the neighbor for another moment, she spun on her heel and headed back to Liam’s truck, stuffing the envelope into her pocket. She felt sick inside. She wanted to scream. Drop to the ground and rock back and forth in her pain, the crushing disappointment. But she wouldn’t give in to the weakness. She was a lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps. She was strong. Stronger than this. She’d survived the chaos and disappointment of her mother’s illness many times before; she’d live through it this time too.

Liam popped the door open for her when she got to the truck. “You all right?”

“Fine,” she murmured, climbing into her seat. Without meeting his gaze she knew he was watching her, assessing her.

“Wasn’t home?”

“No. I’ll try again tomorrow.” And Jesus, wasn’t that going to be fun?

“What did the neighbor want?”

“She just gave me some mail.” Despite her resolve to stay emotionally detached, she felt the burn of tears and quickly turned her head so Liam wouldn’t see.
Suck it up. Crying isn’t going to help.
She refused to snivel like a weakling. No one had ever died of disappointment or a broken heart. All she had to do was get through tomorrow. Just get through this ugliness one more time. Once she was back in Kandahar she wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout. Over there, as strange as it sounded, she was free.

After tomorrow, she had a tough call to make. Last time she’d promised herself she’d walk away if her mother screwed up again. The psychiatrist had told her to. Warned her to distance herself no matter how hard it was. Yet some part of her was still unwilling to sever the ties with the one blood relative she still had in the world. Or to stand back and watch the woman who’d raised her—to the best of her ability—become homeless. How would she ever live with herself if it came to that?

Talia closed her eyes, blew out a deep breath. It hurt. God, it hurt to realize that nothing had changed. She’d essentially lost the only person she had any meaningful connection to in this world.

Liam glanced over at her, set a supportive hand on her nape. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, pressing her lips together to choke back the sob trying to work free. Part of her wanted to turn into that strong hand, let him comfort her. She longed to crawl into his lap and feel his arms close tight around her. The other part demanded she rip the door open and flee so he wouldn’t see this weakness, this ugliness. He started to slow the truck.