Let Me In (9 page)

Angie grinned. “I always do.” She slid off the barstool and gave him a quick hug. “So? What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Talia.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “What about her? I haven’t seen her since the night we picked her up and she hasn’t returned my call yet. Why, what’s wrong?”

Where did he even start?

His sister’s mouth fell open as she put it all together before he could answer. “Oh my God, you and Tal?”

“No, it’s… Shit, it’s complicated. She’s going through something that I can’t tell you about—”

“What? Is she okay? Why can’t you tell me?”

“I gave her my word I wouldn’t tell anyone, not even you.”

Angie’s expression filled with hurt. “We’re close. I thought she trusted me.”

“She does trust you. Believe me, I never would have found out about this either if she had her way.”

“I’ll call her.” She reached for her purse.

“Later.” He leaned his forearms on the granite counter and blew out a breath. “I care about her. A lot.”

Angie’s eyes softened with sympathy. “I know you do. With the way you’ve both eyed each other all this time, I’m surprised it took so long for you to hook up.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than a hook-up, Ang.”

She gave him a wobbly smile, her eyes misting over. “Then I’m really happy for you both.”

“Yeah, well don’t celebrate yet. She won’t give us a chance to make it work.” He rubbed a hand over his face.

Angie touched his arm gently. “Maybe she just needs time to realize she can trust you not to hurt her.”

“Maybe.” Though he didn’t think a few days would be enough to earn that kind of trust. Once she went back overseas, he’d lose her. “I don’t know what to do.”

His sister stroked a consoling hand over his back. “Just be yourself and be patient with her.”

“You know I’m not good at being patient.”

“But she’s worth it, right?”

“Yeah, she is.”

Angie wrapped her arms around him. “Have I told you how proud I am that you’re my brother?”

“No.”

“I am.”

He chuckled. “You’re pretty good too. For a sister.”

She raised her head. “Want to talk about this some more?”

“No.”

“Okay,” she said, and clapped her hands decisively. “Then let’s put on a movie and do some damage to those bags of chips I saw in your pantry. Rob’s out with the boys tonight, so I might as well enjoy myself.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” A few hours’ distraction was welcome right now.

Chapter Five

Talia paused outside the waiting-area doors of the police station the next afternoon and pressed a hand to her bubbling stomach. After what she’d just gone through she felt sick and didn’t want Liam to see her this way again. That he was probably waiting on the other side of the doors both reassured and frightened her, because after last night he was seriously pissed off at her. And he had every right to be.

Despite his reluctance he’d finally left, though he’d made it clear he wasn’t happy about it. She’d hurt him by pushing him away, and yet she knew without a doubt he’d be there for her now when she opened those doors. That meant everything to her.

She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath, trying to deal with everything that had happened in the past hour. God, it hurt. Hurt so much she could barely breathe.

For all intents and purposes, she didn’t have a mother anymore. Though she’d known for a long time it was coming, facing the reality of it was devastating. She didn’t know what to do. Right now her mother was with the social worker, looking for a place to stay that would take her. Talia had paid the small bail to get her released, but the landlord was pressing charges and there would be a future court date. As of right now, she had a gaping hole in her heart.

Pushing open the door, she stopped short when she saw Liam. He rose from the chair he’d been sitting in, his brows drawn together in concern. Immediately she put on a brave front and walked over to meet him.

He still didn’t try to touch her. “You okay?”

His question made her feel even more pathetic. How many times had he asked her that in the past few days? She wondered yet again what in hell he was doing with her. Her life was a mess, and the last thing she wanted was to drag Liam any further into the chaos she had to deal with.

Being around him only made her ache for things she couldn’t have. She didn’t know how she’d be able to face his family after today, and if she were smart she’d start pulling back now before it was too late. Thing was, Liam wouldn’t let her. She knew him well enough to know he would stick by her, no matter how ugly things got.

But she didn’t need him to stand by her out of a misplaced sense of loyalty. She was a grown woman and could handle this by herself.

“I’m good,” she finally answered.
Except my mother doesn’t want to see me anymore and she’s going to wind up in a halfway house under a psychologist’s supervision.

He stuck his hands into his pockets. Being deprived of his touch made her heart even heavier. The awkwardness between them now was all her fault. “So what now?”

Keep it together. Just a little longer.
“I have to stop by her house and look through some boxes, bring her some things. I promised.” A kind of parting gift from her only child.

A sudden flood of tears burned her eyes and she blinked them away. Liam saw them, though.

“Come here,” he murmured, reaching out to tug on her hand.

She shook her head sharply, afraid of having his strong arms closing around her right now. If he held her she’d lose it. But she gripped his hand tightly, grateful for that small comfort. “Let’s just go.”

Without a word he led her out to the truck and drove to her mother’s place. She cringed at the sight that met them when they pulled up out front. Two huge garbage dumpsters sat in the driveway awaiting pickup, overflowing with the contents of what had been in the house. There was probably more inside they hadn’t been able to fit in. “God.” Who knew what she’d find inside?

“I’m coming in with you.”

She whipped her head around to stare at Liam, appalled. “No.” No way in hell.

“Yes.” His voice rang with frustration. “I already saw the place yesterday, so it’s no big deal. Let me help you.”

His earlier words to her about shutting him out played in her head. “All right,” she muttered grudgingly. She got out of the truck and let herself in the front door while he followed right behind her.

The entryway was full of large boxes the cleaners had left for her to go through. Talia surveyed the interior with a kind of detached numbness. With everything else in the Dumpsters outside, the condition of the house seemed even worse. The carpet and walls were stained with lord only knew what, and that foul smell of rotting garbage hung heavy in the air. Glancing around, it was obvious the carpet would have to be torn out and the walls cleaned and repainted. Another wave of shame washed over her. How the hell had it come to this?

It still embarrassed her that Liam had seen the mess in the first place, let alone her mother’s crazed meltdown, but she had to get over that. For God’s sake, she’d had sex with the man last night, and even after she’d essentially chickened out by asking him to leave he’d still insisted on going with her to the station today.

You don’t deserve him or his family.

Yeah. She was fully aware of that.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed up the sleeves of her sweater and hunkered down next to the first box. Liam helped her organize everything into piles: keep, donate and garbage. He worked diligently and without complaint for the better part of three hours until they’d gone through every last box. The show of support only made her love him more, and she had to stop thinking like that.

He might care about her, might even have strong feelings for her, but it wouldn’t last, especially through her deployments and all this crap with her mom. All her life she’d seen proof of that. Besides, she’d already jeopardized her relationship with his family. Add in all her family issues, and she didn’t have the heart to put them all through this with her. Especially Liam. She wasn’t relationship material and never would be, yet it was so hard not to live the fantasy while he was right there in front of her.

When she was finished packing a box full of keepsakes, he waited while she locked up then took her back to the station to drop it off. On the drive there she stared at the old photo album in her lap. Her fingers smoothed over the tattered cover, thinking of what was inside. Page upon page of childhood pictures, proof of happier times when she was young. She couldn’t bear the thought of throwing it out. If her mother didn’t want them, she’d come back later and pick it up herself. It might be the only thing she could salvage from her childhood, and she’d be damned if she’d lose it to the garbage dump too.

Liam glanced at the book but didn’t say anything, though his silence was beginning to wear on her. What must he be thinking about all this? She didn’t know how she was supposed to explain it to him when she barely understood it herself.

“She wasn’t always like this,” she said at last when she couldn’t take the silence anymore.

Liam glanced over and covered her cold fingers with his own, rubbing to warm them. Silently encouraging her to talk.

She struggled to speak past the restriction in her throat. “After my dad left she became kind of a pack rat, but things didn’t get serious until a few years ago when one of her exes walked out. Then it was like she wanted to barricade herself behind a wall of
things
. There’s no underlying diagnosis of schizophrenia or anything, just severe depression.”
And don’t I know how that feels?
“The psychologists told me she hoards because it makes her feel safe, gives her a sense of control over her life when she can’t control anything else. Somehow in her mind, the five seconds of pleasure she derives from bringing home another of her treasures outweighs everything else.”

She swallowed, searching for the words she needed to say next, no matter how much the truth hurt. “But now it’s… I can’t help her anymore. No one can, unless
she
wants to change. I thought this last time with the help that she’d be able to do it, but I guess not. Now she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

The awful finality of it ripped through her like a razor blade. She exhaled hard and bit her lip, but tears welled up anyway. It humiliated her.

“I’m sorry,” Liam said softly, pulling his hand free of hers to wrap around the back of her neck. His strong fingers kneaded the knotted muscles, rubbing in a soothing motion, making her want to crawl into his lap and burrow in close. He was loyal, so strong and dependable. His whole family was like that. Did they realize how lucky they were?

Scrubbing angrily at her eyes, she fought to get control over herself. Liam must think she was a head case, same as her mother. “Her condition isn’t genetic,” she said quickly. “Just in case you were worried about me being like that. I’m not.”

He snorted like she’d insulted him. “Jesus, cut it out, Tal. You piss me off when you say stupid things like that.”

Well, she’d rather have him pissed off than keep doing the knight-in-shining-armor routine. At least she knew how to deal with anger.

At the station, Talia took the box in and left it at the reception desk, unable to stand the thought of confronting her mother again. Staring into those cold, bitter eyes and being told she never wanted to see Talia again would crush her.

Heading back out to the parking lot, Talia felt almost hollow inside. Was it really over? Was she really never going to have contact with her mother again? It didn’t seem real. She couldn’t just turn her back and walk away, no matter how much the experts had urged her to.

Liam studied her in silence when she climbed back into the truck and shut the door. His scrutiny scraped over her raw nerves. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. But you’re going to be.”

The sincerity in his tone eased something inside her. He believed in her. Yes, she
would
be okay. Because she was a survivor. While she was grateful for his presence and all the help he’d given her, she hated that Liam of all people had been around to witness her at her worst. She cringed at the thought of him seeing her as weak and needy.

When he drove past the exit to her hotel, she frowned. “Where are you going?”

“My place.”

What? “N—”

“You need to eat and you need to sleep, and if you’re at my place then you can’t kick my ass out later on.”

She flushed. “I didn’t kick you—”

“Did so, and even though it made me madder than hell, I went because I knew you needed the space. But not this time. I’ll pay for your room tonight, since you won’t be using it.”

She bristled at his peremptory tone. “Excuse me, but who the hell are you to decide what I need?”

He glanced over, his dark gaze spearing into her. “The guy who cares about you and wants to take care of you. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“I’m not a charity case,” she answered tightly.

“This had nothing to do with charity. It’s about me stepping up and giving you what you’re too stubborn to ask for.”

Stunned, she stared back at him. Something in his tone made it clear he wasn’t just talking about help with her mother. He meant
him
. He’d willingly give her anything she needed from him. It rendered her speechless.

Liam shook his head in annoyance. “You don’t have to look so surprised. Christ, isn’t it obvious by now how I feel about you? I can’t stand to see you hurting like this, so the least you can do is let me try to make it better. And yeah, I know hearing that scares the hell out of you, but too bad. Deal with it.”

That was exactly the problem. She didn’t know if she could.

Since arguing with him would be pointless, she crossed her arms over her chest and suffered the rest of the drive in silence while the tension mounted inside her. This could only end badly. How the hell was she supposed to distance herself from him when he kept making it impossible?

* * *

With effort, Liam reined in his temper as he let her through the foyer into the kitchen.

Talia stood in the doorway uncertainly, looking around at his place. “I didn’t know you’d bought a house,” she said at last.

“Last year.” Not that he was home to enjoy it that often. He’d taken almost every contracting job offered to him in Afghanistan these past three years. The money was good, and he figured he should make the most of his military skills while he could. “You hungry?”