Let Me In (10 page)

“What is it?” I ask.

“She’s been hurt, Grant. I don’t know everything, but Sadie has mentioned a few things here and there. Don’t fuck her over, okay? I know you have a hard time with your emotions. So…just don’t shy away from your feelings.” Brady looks at me, waiting for my reply.

“I won’t, I promise.” He gives me a small nod and picks up his guitar. His words ring in my head; I need to find out what happened to her. I want to know what that tattoo on the back of her neck means. I only hope that she doesn’t ask me too many questions, because I’m not sure I’m ready for her to know just how damaged I am.

Jessa

What an amazing feeling it is to tell all of them I’m with Grant. Watching him on the other side of the glass, joking around with the guys and playing music, brings a warm feeling over me that he’s mine. Sadie keeps asking me questions and I’ve been polite, but I’m not ready to share what happened between Grant and me with anyone else…not just yet.

The boys finish practicing and we all decide to go over to a bar in downtown to eat. I hop into Grant’s truck, while Dex and Trey climb into Brady’s Camaro along with Sadie. I scoot all the way over and Grant leans in and gives me a kiss. “I love your roommates, but I’m happy to have you to myself, if only for the drive,” he says before his lips crash into mine again. As our tongues tangle together, I place my hand on the back of his neck and interlace the soft strands of his hair through my fingers. We stay wrapped up in each other until Brady starts honking his horn. Grant slows the kiss and when we look up, we see Dex and Trey’s faces staring back at us from Brady’s back window.

Grant puts the truck in reverse and we back out of the driveway. His hand doesn’t leave my thigh the whole five minute drive, and for the first time in so long, I’m truly happy. All that shit from my past doesn’t matter anymore. Jason doesn’t matter, the pictures don’t matter. All that matters is that I have Grant. He squeezes my thigh and I glance over to see his smiling face. “What are you thinking about?” he light-heartedly asks.

Fortunately, before I can answer with something that would most likely scare him off, we arrive at The Loft. We park our cars along the street and walk into the bar. It’s dark and dingy with wooden booths where people have etched derogatory sayings or their initials, but they make the best pizza in town. We end up splitting the group between two booths while Grant and Brady get the first two pitchers. Grant pours a beer for me and then himself before settling in close to me.

The beer flows easily over the next hour and we devour the pizza. Brady, the only sober one at this point, tells stories of him and Grant as kids and the crush they had on their sixth grade teacher. Trey jumps on the table and starts singing
Hot for Teacher
by Van Halen and everyone around us joins in. I’m laughing so hard that I don’t notice Emily sneak in next to Grant.

Immediately, I stop laughing and Trey hops down from the table. Grant narrows his eyes but remains silent. “Man, you’re a buzz killer,” Trey says to her, and she bats her fake eyelashes his way.

“Well, I saw Grant and just wanted to say hello. I didn’t mean to disrupt your little show.” She crosses her legs toward Grant and places her hand on his arm. He pulls it away and squeezes my shoulder, bringing me closer.

“Emily, what do you want?” Grant asks, obviously annoyed.

“What kind of hello is that?” She takes her finger and slides it up and down his bicep.

“You do remember Jessa, don’t you, Emily?” he questions and her mouth drops open in surprise.

“I thought you dated someone more like…him,” she says, pointing to Trey and he cracks up.

“Is this girl for real?” He nods his head in her direction and I laugh.

“Unfortunately, yes,” I inform him and he smirks, shaking his head in amusement.

“Grant, why are you hanging out with these people?” she tries to whisper, although we can all hear her as clear as day.

“You do know we can hear you, right?” I ask. She does this fake giggle, tossing her hair over her shoulder, ignoring me.

“I’ll be right back,” Grant tells me and kisses my cheek. He nudges Emily out of the booth and then takes her by her elbow toward the front door.

“Do you want me to get the Jack?” Trey jokes and I shake my head. Dex, Brady, and Sadie all glance our way, curious as to what’s going on. Trey fills them in while Brady eyes Grant suspiciously. I decide not to turn around, although it’s taking everything inside of me not to. Instead, I try to decipher what’s happening by Trey’s reactions. He’s staring intently over their way, and when a smile comes across his lips, I know Grant must be on his way back.

He slides in next to me, placing his hands on either side of my face and drawing me closer. His lips lightly brush mine before he licks the crease between my lips. I happily open and the taste of beer mixed with pepperoni and Grant’s overall taste makes me whimper into his mouth. He presses me against the corner of the wall and bench, not letting up. Not that I want him to.

A mixture of hoots and hollers ring out and Grant breaks the kiss, moving over to my ear. “Never doubt me, Jessa. You’re mine and I’m yours.” A surge of heat hits my veins with his declaration. I didn’t think my lack of self-confidence was that noticeable to him. Regardless, I appreciate his affirmation of everything I feel.

“That a boy, Grant!” Trey winks at him and Brady grins before turning back around.

Our night continues without any further incidences. Eventually, Dex and Trey wander away, hitting on some girls that had been eyeing them. Brady and Sadie move over to our table, and the boys start reliving stories of their youth again. Sadie and I are wiping our eyes from laughing so hard. No one witnessing these two now would think that Grant and Brady just started talking again after six years. Watching him reminisce, I love seeing a more relaxed Grant begin to come out.

Throughout the night, his arm never leaves my shoulder and my hand never leaves his thigh. I never had this with Jason or Rob. After only one day, I feel a togetherness with Grant that I already know I don’t want to go without.

Grant

Jessa and I spend most of our free time together. She’s even come down to Barbells to exercise while I’m working. Doug fell in love with her right away and constantly picked her up, attempting to bench press her, but I immediately put a stop to that.

My HR Management class is ten times better with her in it, even if she does try to soften up my views on workers in the workplace. She forever sees the best in people, whereas I see the worst.

I’ve given her space by not questioning her
about her past, but I’m starting to grow impatient. I want her to feel comfortable enough to tell me though without having to drag the information out of her.

I’ve been anticipating today for the last week. Jessa’s going to meet Mr. C. She already knows his story, but they’ve never met. I look sideways at her on the bench seat of my truck as she sings. When she feels my eyes on her, she turns and gives me her usual casual smile. I grin in return, thinking about the fact that it’s only been a short time since I was here telling Mr. C that I’m not interested in love, and him trying to convince me it’s worth it. Looking at her now, feeling the way I feel, I can almost agree with him. I guess I’ll have to see when the inevitable heartbreak hits after she leaves me.

We pull up to Water Springs and Linda, the receptionist, greets me by name and I introduce Jessa. Linda smiles widely when she sees me place my hand in Jessa’s before I lead her to a chair. A minute later, Tessa comes in the room, calling out my name. She glances at Jessa and then back to me and rolls her eyes. I hope Jessa didn’t notice that. Tessa and I might have flirted innocently throughout the past weeks when I’ve come to visit, but it’s stopped there.

Once we’re situated in the room, waiting on Mr. C, I open a bottle of water from the counter and hand it to her. She thanks me while fidgeting with her fingers. “Are you nervous?” I ask.

“Of course. It’s like meeting your family.” She picks at the label wrapped around the water bottle.

“He’s not my father,” I reassure her.

“Whether you can admit it or not, he is, Grant. You look up to him. Come to him for advice. Care about his opinion. You look out for each other. Those are all things people go to their dad for.” For the first time, I realize she’s right. Mr. C is my family. He’s not just my father figure, he is my father. The only man who gives a shit about me.

“Regardless, you don’t have any reason to worry,” I say, placing my hand on her leg to still it.

Mr. C comes into the room and moves past me, right to Jessa. “I assume you’re Jessa,” he speaks directly to her, while holding his arms out for a hug.

“I am,” she answers, her voice so soft and innocent. She graciously accepts his offer for a hug.

“I’m Vince,” he says, pulling away from her, then waiting for her to take a seat. “Grant,” he greets me, placing his hand out to shake.

“Mr. C.” I shake his hand and he winks at me.

“So Jessa, tell me about yourself,” he requests and I see panic fill her eyes.

“Um…I’m an Art History major. From Colorado,” she starts. I notice her fidgeting, so I grab her hand to reassure her that it’s fine. The last thing Mr. C would do is judge her. She looks at me with fear.

“Tell me about Colorado, I’ve never been there,” Mr. C. asks of her and suddenly she shifts her body a little straighter, obviously uncomfortable with the question.

“You know…sun, ski bums, and hippies,” she answers quickly, trying to act collected, although she appears anything but calm.

“Never been a skier.” He gives me an inquisitive glance and then sets his focus back on her. “You’re roommates with Sadie?”

“Yes,” she answers and eases back into the couch with the change of topic. “She’s great,” she adds.

“That she is,” he agrees and I nod in agreement.

Mr. C steers clear of the Colorado topic for the duration of the conversation. Thankfully, Jessa is laughing and joking like her normal self by the time we leave. Mr. C gives her a hug good-bye and she thanks him for allowing her to come visit.

“Anytime, Jessa,” he says. “Do you mind if I have a word with Grant? It’ll only be a minute,” he assures her.

“No problem, I’ll be outside.” I watch her walk out the door and when it shuts behind her, I turn back to him.

“Grant, she’s a good one.” I hear the hesitation in his voice.

“But?” I ask, knowing what he’s going to say.

“She may need you to be understanding about something she hasn’t shared with you yet. Unfortunately, I think you share more than a mutual affection for one another; it seems you both have less-than-ideal pasts. But I beg you Grant, don’t run away from this. I can see a special love is there between the two of you. The sooner you share your past, the faster you can leave it behind you and move forward with one another.” He places his hand on my shoulder in his fatherly way.

“Thanks, Mr. C. You take care,” I say, abruptly stopping the conversation. He doesn’t know the whole story. I’ve kept him in the dark about my biggest obstacle in the way of accepting love.

“Remember what I said, Grant.” He hugs me and then whispers in my ear, “I love you.”

“Bye Mr. C, see you next week,” I say in return and make my way back to Jessa.

After we leave, I decide to take Jessa on a real date. I drop her off at her house, instructing her to be ready in an hour. I’ve been trying to plan this for the last couple of days. We’ve been fucking like rabbits, but I have yet to treat her like she deserves. She hasn’t said anything about it, which makes me believe she’s used to be treated that way and it’s not right.

I get back to my frat house and find Emily sitting on the couch with a few other girls.

“Grant,” she calls out to me when I open the door.

“Hey, Emily,” I reply, nodding my head at the other girls, who give small waves in response.

“We never see you anymore. You’re always with that girl,” she remarks, standing up to walk toward me.

“She’s my girlfriend,” I say, liking the sound of those words.

“WHAT?” she screams. “Grant, I know she might be easy, but girlfriend? Are you kidding me?”

“Emily, you know nothing about her so you can stop talking now.” I put my arms across my chest impatiently, wanting this conversation to be over.

“Don’t you know?” she asks and I raise my eyebrows in question. “Nice that she never told you,” she sneers, pulling her phone out.

“Told me what, Emily?” I irritably sigh, waiting while she thumbs through her phone.

“This.” She shifts her weight onto one leg, placing the phone in my face.

It’s a fuzzy picture and I’m unable to recognize anyone right away. Then I see Jessa on top of some guy, the same way she straddles me. My heart plummets seeing her like that with someone else. The guy’s face isn’t visible, but Jessa’s full body is. I take Emily’s arm and drag her into the other room.

“Where did you get that?” I
clench my teeth in order to calm myself as best I can.

“Let’s just say that Jessa Harrison isn’t that common of a name.” She tilts her head to the side, obviously satisfied by her revelation.

“Delete it,” I demand. “How many other people know about it?” I ask. She just stands there, staring me down.

“No one, I thought you should see it first.” I grab the phone from her hand and delete the picture. “You do know, I can just get another one. There are plenty more online. And I see why you like her Grant, she’s into some kinky stuff,” she snidely remarks.

“You want to play this way, Emily? Fine. If anyone else sees that picture or any other pictures, I’ll tell everyone about how you let her boyfriend fuck you in a closet on New Year’s. How do you think your friends will feel about you then?” Her face drops and I’m glad my assumption was right. I’d suspected after she followed Rob into the kitchen looking disheveled, but since she and I weren’t together, I really didn’t care enough to mention it before now.

“How…” she stutters.

“Did you actually think he wouldn’t talk about how he fucked a sorority girl in the closet as the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve?” I lie, making my case that much more convincing for her. The only way I can be assured that she won’t spread this gossip about Jessa is to make her afraid I’ll ruin her reputation.

“Don’t tell anyone, Grant. I won’t show anyone the pictures I found,” she promises, fumbling with her phone.

“Fine, but I swear, Emily. If I hear anything…” I threaten, the anger getting the better of me.

“You won’t. I promise, Grant.” She appears sincere so I turn around, eager to get the hell out of here.

I walk up the stairs and as soon as I shut the door, I throw my phone across the room. I can’t fucking believe this. That’s the secret she’s been keeping. I don’t know if I’m more pissed at the fact she did those things with someone else or that some asshole posted the pictures. Of everything she could be keeping from me that’s crossed my mind, this didn’t even come close.

Stomping into my bathroom, I flip the shower knob and start stripping my clothes off. I put toothpaste on my toothbrush and stare into the mirror, trying to figure out what the hell to do. There on my right pec, is the hickey she left last night, and a smile comes across my lips remembering us joking around with each other. I chuckle to myself thinking about her matching one on her ass. The way she squirmed, laughing, while trying to get away from me, but I held on to her until I could leave a mark. How I let her think she was strong enough to hold me down in order to suck my skin into her mouth, leaving a red blotch next to my nipple. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Considering everything, I guess I have to give her the benefit of the doubt. God knows I’ve had my share of partners.

I go into my room to find my phone. The expensive cover I bought was worth the money since it’s still intact. Of course, the heap of clothes that broke the fall helped too. I send Jessa a quick text message, instructing her to pack an overnight bag and lots of warm clothes. After making a second phone call, securing us a place to stay, I grab my duffle bag and leave.

“Where are you going, Bishop?” Matt asks when I walk down the stairs. A few of the girls are still milling around, but Emily’s not anywhere in sight. I hope it stays that way.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I inform him, continuing to walk toward the door.

“You going somewhere with that girl?” he calls out and I quickly turn around, ready to pounce.

“Yeah, what of it?” I ask defensively. If Emily went back on her word, I’ll start spitting out gossip like a rapid, uncontrollable fire until it’s spread to everyone.

“Nothing. She seems…nice,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

“She is,” I confirm.

“Have fun.” He turns around, walking back toward the living room.

Calm down, I tell myself. It doesn’t seem like he knows anything about the pictures of Jessa fucking some other guy.

I gas up the truck and drive over to pick Jessa up. Before I have a chance to get out, she’s already jogging down the steps. I reach over to push the door open for her and she pulls it the rest of the way.

“Where are we going?” she asks excitedly, tossing her bag in the back.

“It’s a surprise,” I tell her and she scoots over, buckling herself into the seat next to me. She leans over to give me a light kiss on the lips, but it quickly turns intense and I can’t drive us there fast enough.

“I think I may stay naked all night. Will you keep me warm?” she whispers in my ear and, despite the anger I felt over the pictures Emily showed me, I’m instantly hard.

“Alright, but you’ll need me naked next to you to stay warm,” I tease her. I have to wait for her side to the story. I know I’ll need the same from her when I tell her what a selfish prick I am.

“I wouldn’t dream of anything else,” she says and winks at me.

Jessa

I snuggle up to Grant in the truck, wondering where this spur of the moment creature came from. Grant seems like a planner, always careful that everything is mapped out before he ventures. We couldn’t be more opposite in that way. But tonight I am seeing spontaneity in him and I’m loving it.

He looks over at me and I nuzzle closer, letting him put his arm around me. I always thought people looked stupid sitting so close together in pick-up trucks, but I understand it now.

This guy is dangerously close to taking my heart fully in his hands, but I still can’t help thinking that he’ll break it just as easily. Grant has monsters, and they’re bigger than mine from what I can tell. He never speaks about his mom or family, and I still don’t know what was up with that guy at the diner a few weeks ago.

He closes himself off from everyone and I need to find a way to get in. The doors that open up to truly see Grant are double-locked with a chain around the handles. I figure since he’s stuck in this car with me, I might as well give the door a tug.

“Hey, Grant,” I say, peeking my eyes up to him.

“Um huh,” he mumbles, continuing to stare at the road ahead. The snow appears to be flying into our headlights.

“How did your mom die?” I can’t believe I just sprung that on him. I really should have gone about this slower, but subtlety has never been my thing.