Let Me In (8 page)

We finish our shots and then he grabs two beers and a bag of chips. Putting his arm around my neck, he leads me into the family room. “Sorry about earlier,” he apologizes and I nod. I could never stay mad at him. “You pick the movie.” He pulls me closer to him and I wrap my arm around his small waist. I’m pretty sure Trey would make an excellent boyfriend if he ever gave himself the chance.

Chapter 7

Grant

It amazes me this past week that I’ve been able to squeeze in practices with the band. I have all the songs down. Brady and I even started to work on a new one. The best part is when Jessa and Sadie come down to the basement and sit on the oversized brown couches to hear us play in the state-of-the-art studio that his dad built when we were younger. In the early stages, I remember us goofing off in here, pretending as though we were rock stars. His dad taught us to respect the instruments, teaching us how to play each one. Obviously, Brady is better trained than me, but it was a gift I’d always be grateful for. When I think about all of the famous artists Brady’s dad has recorded and performed with in this room, I’m amazed.

With it being Valentine’s Day, Brady declined any gigs in order to celebrate it with Sadie. I can’t fault him for it; I’d probably do the same, even if it’s a lame-ass holiday. Trey and Dex invited me to some bar they’re going to where ladies get free drinks all night, but I politely declined. Emily asked me to go to her sorority’s dinner date party, but I firmly told her no. So that leaves me here at Barbells, working out with Doug.

“Come on, Grant, you can do it,” he yells down to me as I exhale a large breath, pushing up the bar loaded with weight. “Way to go, let’s try ten more,” he exclaims, already moving over to the racks that hold all the weight plates.

“Why not twenty?” I add and Doug turns his head, smirking. “Hey, I don’t need my arms tonight,” I joke.

“Are you sure about that? It’s Valentine’s Day and you don’t have a girl. Remember, your arm is attached to your hand. It might get a little lonely tonight.” He laughs, while placing the plates on the bar.

I lie back down and exhale while looking at the bar above me. I know I was at my max two pushes ago, but I can’t shake the thought of her alone tonight. Of course that douche Rob couldn’t be bothered to come home. I have to keep telling myself that it’s none of my business where she is, or what she’s doing. “Make it thirty,” I say to Doug and he laughs.

“Why don’t you call her?” he asks.

“Who?” I’ve never told anyone at Barbells about Jessa. Actually, no one knows about my feelings toward her, not even Brady.

“Whoever has you so hung up you’re about to max your weight in order to not deal with it.” He finishes putting the last plates on and stands behind the bar again. “I’ve been there, man. You’ve been moping around here since January,” he says.

“I have not. It’s just…the last thing I need right now is a relationship. I plan on leaving this town in a few months.” I place my hands on either side of the bar, ready to push it off the rack.

“You do realize she could go with you, right?” He rests his hands under the bar, waiting for my lead.

“Let’s just drop it, okay?” I respond and grunt, while I push the bar up off the stand.

“Whatever, man. I hope you work it off on this set because unlike you, I have a hot date tonight and need my arms,” he jokes.

My arms begin to shake uncontrollably as I hold the bar above my head. I slowly bring it down right above my chest. That was the easy part; now comes the true test. I inhale deeply and start exhaling as I push it up. The bar stops moving after only a few inches, I’m clearly struggling to get it up. Jessa and the impossible situation I’ve put myself in
fill my thoughts.

She loves someone else, she’ll break my heart, not to mention, I can’t love someone again. Also, her secret past that made her have the hard edge I enjoy so much is just another notch against us. Before I finish another thought, Doug is clapping and saying, “Way to go, your all-time record. Let’s put it on the board.” He walks over to the stats board posted next to the mirror, takes the dry erase marker and puts my new weight on there. “Whoever she is, you must have it bad. I haven’t seen increases like this in a long time.”

“Get going on your date. Thanks for spotting me,” I say, wiping my face with a towel.

“You staying?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m going to run a little before I leave.” I walk over to the treadmills.

Fifteen minutes later, Doug’s shorts and muscle tee have been replaced with jeans and a black button-down shirt. His cologne hits me like a ton of bricks as I inhale to catch my breath from running. He gives me a quick wave, and I hear the door chime when he leaves. Since it’s only me in here now and the gym closes in fifteen minutes, I decide to take out my ear buds and turn up the stereo.

I hop back on the running machine and up the incline a few notches. Sweat starts dripping off me onto the plastic molding of the treadmill. As
Lose Yourself
by Eminem blares through the speakers, I start singing the words. This might have been the worst song I could’ve picked. The words sucker punch me and suddenly I want to run to Jessa. By suppressing my feelings, am I destroying my one shot with her? No, no, I say to myself, shaking my head. It’s all physical…I don’t love her.

Just as I grab my water bottle, I notice a shadow by the counter. Shit, I knew I should’ve waited until we closed. I quickly turn off the treadmill and jump off, grabbing my towel.

“I’m sorry,” I quickly yell an apology and scramble to the stereo to turn down the blaring music. When I pick my head up, my eyes meet the sparkling hazel ones that have filled my dreams recently.

“That was quite a sight. I didn’t know you could sing, too?” she laughs, twirling her keys in her hand.

“I can’t. What are you doing here?” I notice she’s in a pair of tight black yoga pants and a purple tank top that accentuates her perfect chest. “You work out?”

“Yes, I work out,” she jokingly narrows her eyes at me.

“Alright…sorry,” I laugh, putting my hands up in defense. “Is that why you’re here?” I prop myself on the counter and stare down at her.

“Among other things.” She captures her lower lip with her teeth.
“Are you done?” she asks.

“I can be, or if you want, I’ll work out with you.” This is horribly awkward. I hate that we’ve turned into this. Why did she come here?

“Um…” she hesitates. I thought I was confused before, but now I’m baffled.

“Jessa,” I say and she raises her eyes to mine, “why are you here?”

“I didn’t want to be anywhere else.” She blinks slowly and for the first time, I see insecurity in her.

“Barbells?”

“No… It’s over,” she reveals softly.

“I’m sorry, Jessa,” I hop down and put my hand on her arm to console her. I might be doing a happy dance inside, but if she’s hurting, then I need to be her friend.

“Don’t be.” She inches closer to me, and my heart starts racing. Am I ready for this?

“So, why are you here?” I swallow and keep my hands at my side, although, they want to betray me and touch her everywhere.

“I told you, there’s no other place I want to be. I’m sorry it took me so long,” she confesses and her breasts press against my chest. My hands clench, desperately trying to stay put.

“Are you sure?”

“Will you give this a try?” she asks in return, ignoring my question. “But Grant, if you honestly can’t give yourself a hundred percent to me, then don’t say yes. I’ve been in half-assed relationships my whole life, and I’m not about to go into another one.”

Her boldness makes me take a step back, debating if I’m really ready for this? I know she’ll run if I tell her I’m not sure, that’s the last thing I want. “Yes,” I whisper to her, praying she doesn’t make me say it. I can’t explain this feeling she has evoked inside of me, but I don’t want to let her go.

She jumps in my arms and I catch her by her ass, propping her up on the counter while my lips find hers. Her hands instantly go around my neck to the back of my head, and she possessively holds it against her lips. Our tongues thrust into one another’s mouths as though we can’t get enough if we tried. My right hand roams up her shirt until I find her tit. I give it a tight squeeze, eliciting a moan from her mouth.

“Take me here, Grant,” she says, breathless.

“Gladly…let me lock the door.” I move her off the counter, and she wraps her legs around my waist.

I walk her backwards to the door and push her up against the wall, holding her in place with my right leg between the two of hers. After the three locks are secured, I pick her up again and take her to the weight bench that I was just lying on an hour before. Even through the hormone-induced fog in my brain, the irony of the situation isn’t lost on me. I lie down, gently moving her to straddle on top of me. She swiftly pulls off her tank top, leaving an image I’m sure I’ll never forget. The swells of her breasts are popping out of the top of a black lacy bra with purple ribbons running throughout. “God, tell me your panties are matching,” I beg her, raising my hands to touch the satin.

“Why don’t you find out?” she challenges, standing at the edge of the narrow rectangle. I quickly sit up, giving her stomach soft butterfly kisses, while my hands find the sides of her pants. Hooking my fingers on either side, I slowly bring them down, savoring the sight of her practically naked. Inch by inch, my heart races faster while my cock grows at a matching rate. The thin, black fabric finally falls to the ground, revealing the most gorgeous sight I’ve ever seen.

“You’re beautiful,” I say and grab her hips to guide her back on top of me. Reaching behind her, I unclasp her bra and kiss my way across her chest, letting it fall to the ground.

Her moans make me harder and I’m craving for her to touch me. As though she can hear my thoughts, her hands move down to my pants and she massages my cock, sliding her hand up and down the outside of my basketball shorts. Just as I’m barely able to contain myself any longer, she takes off my shorts and my dick springs up. She stares at it, and I’m hoping it’s appreciation of my size that I see in her eyes.

“Come here,” I pick her up, sliding my finger under her panties. “You ready, baby?” I ask, already feeling her wetness around my fingers. Sliding them over, she climbs on top, taking me completely inside of her in one fell swoop. I tighten every muscle in my body in order not to come and embarrass myself by finishing in record time.

“Lean back and enjoy the ride,” she insists and I happily hold onto her hips, following her pace. Her handful tits sway every direction as she takes me in and out of her tight sex. I wish I had more hands to touch her everywhere at once. “Touch me, Grant. I’m so close. Release me.” I move my thumb over her clit, massaging it, while thrusting my cock up into her. She rests her hands on the bar above my head as she moves up and down and harder and faster with each thrust. A scream escapes her when she finds her relief, and I instantly find mine after feeling her clinch around me.

She collapses on top of my chest and I wrap my arms around her, kissing her shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting
that
to happen today.”

“Me either, although…I hoped,” she admits and picks up her head to look at me. I capture her lips in a soft, loving kiss. Now that I’ve come back to my senses, I begin to worry that our first time was too fast and harsh. Jesus, I should’ve taken my time with her. What was I thinking?

Obviously I wasn’t. “Shit, Jessa!” I push us up off the bench. “We didn’t use anything!” I say in a panic. The thought of having a little Bishop frightens me to no end.

“I have an IUD,” she tells me calmly. “And I’m clean. Rob and I always used something. I never told him I had it, so he was religious with the condoms. Not to mention, I just got tested
after he left for the tour.” Man, she covers all the bases. Thank God, that’s the last thing I need in my life.

“I’m clean too, but I think in the future we should use a condom. Just as a precaution,” I say. “Now, let’s go.” I pick her up and start walking away from the bench, leaving our clothes where they fell.

“Where are we going?” she giggles. I love the way her small frame wraps perfectly around me, almost as if we were built to fit together like a puzzle. The thought that I found my final puzzle piece to make me whole, alarms me to no end.

“I’m going to clean you up.” I take her into the women’s locker room because I know it’ll be cleaner than the men’s. Turning on the shower, I check the temperature before placing her under the stream of warm water. After her feet touch the floor, I push her up against the wall, encasing her between my arms and kissing her passionately like she deserves. I let my fingers trace over her body, cherishing every inch and relishing the goose bumps that scatter across her with every touch.

I pick up the wash cloth I brought in with us and gently move it between her legs. She shifts and grabs my biceps when I wipe her clean, obviously still sensitive to touch. “Thank you,” she softly says in my ear.

“You’re welcome. Happy Valentine’s Day,” I reply in return. Bending down, I capture her lips, sucking her bottom lip into my mouth as my teeth nibble it. “Come home with me tonight?” I request.

“Okay,” she instantly murmurs. The fact that she didn’t even think about it for a second has my heart doing flip-flops. “But first I think we have a problem to solve,” she jokes and her hand travels down, grabbing my cock and stroking it.

“Do you have a solution?” I rest my forearms against the tile wall above her head, relishing her hands on me.

“I think I do,” she smirks, continuing to stroke me up and down.

“That only solves one problem.” I reach between her legs, slowly circling her clit with my thumb as my finger moves in and out, bringing her wetness around her folds.