Let Me Love You (18 page)

“I met Carly. Nice girl
, Dean.” I chuckle and he lifts his head to me with a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, she told
me. She was all wrong for me Tally. We are no longer together. She was seeing a friend of mine behind my back. Karma I guess, huh? I knew that we wouldn’t last, she just wasn’t for me. I threw away the only good person for me, I hurt her.” My stomach knots and tears fill my eyes.

“What happened Dean?” I lower my voice “What made you hit me, rape me. You say I was the best for you, but you
hurt me in the worse way. Then you brought Dylan and Evan home and look at what happened.” So much for not bring up old memories.

“Tally
, I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did. I was drinking and gambling and my life was going down the shit hole. I know it’s no excuse, but I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. It was my dad’s idea to cover it all up. I haven’t told anyone the full details because when I got out of rehab I was too ashamed of what I had done.” He looks out the window, avoiding my eyes. Fuck, Dean went to rehab? I didn’t know this.

“Dean
, when did you go into rehab?” He looks back to me.

“As soon as
I was out of hospital after my…mugging.” He shrugs.

“Is that why you didn’t tell the police that Jake beat you up?” He nods and take
s a sip of his coffee. I follow suit. I can’t believe all this. “Are you better now? Are you seeing anyone new now that Freaky Carly is gone?” I smile at him and he returns the smile.

“Nope
, I guess I’m just concentrating on me at the moment.” I can’t believe that I am here drinking coffee with Dean Riley after everything he put me through. He seems full of remorse for what he did to me. I can see in his eyes that he is truly sorry for what he did. I can also see that he won’t be forgiving himself anytime soon; he is still fighting those demons.

“Are you still seeing that TV star that Carly to
ld me about? What’s his name, Jason something?”  I laugh at his attempt.

I shake my head
. “No Dean, his name is James Wilde. He is in the soon-to-be new show on QBC called ‘Control’. No Dean, we are no longer together. I know that me saying this is going to hurt you, but it’s because of you. He told me he loved me. I think I was just too guarded for him, but also, he couldn’t fully get past what had happened with you and me. Neither of us fought for each other.” I draw patterns on the table with my finger. Dean reaches over the table to touch my hand, but I flinch away. I see the guilt flash across his face.

“
I can’t Dean. You lost the right to touch me the first time you hit me, but you took it anyway.” He looks away, finding it hard to look me in the eye. He takes a deep breath.

“Tally you can’t let what I did to you ruin your relationship with this guy. You need
to move on one hundred percent. I know what I did to you hurt in the worst possible way, but you need to move past me. Do you love him?” I nod and picture James lying in my bed playing with my hair. I smile to myself. “Good honey, you need to love again. I think this Wilde dude will be good for you. Listen, I have to get to back to work. Dad is handing over some accounts to me. He is looking at slowing down, if you can believe that. Can I ring or text you? I should never be asking this, but can we keep in touch? I still love you Tally, and I always will, but I need you to understand that you need to move on from me.” I nod and look at his wrist his tattoo, which now I can see. “Forgive” I smile up at him.

“I forgive you Dean
, you know that. I didn’t think I could, but seeing you here, it’s changed how I feel about you some. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for us to keep in touch. Like you said, you need to concentrate on you Dean and having me ring or text you will bring up memories that we both need to forget and move forward from.” We both stand and head for the door. Once we are outside we stand there face to face, not saying anything.

“Well Tally
, you look good and I’m happy that you are happy. You need to go get this guy back. You love him and he loves you, so don’t let it go honey, don’t throw it away like I did, okay? You will regret it, Miss Natalia Slone.” I let out a little laugh

“I will try my very best
, Mr. Dean Austin Riley. Will you be okay?” He nods.

“Can I hug you Tally? I know it’s a lot to ask
, but this just seems like a final goodbye.” I bite my lip and shake my head no.

“I’m not ready for that Dean
, and I don’t think I ever will be. I understand that you are healing, like me, but memories still hurt Dean.” Dean nods his head in understanding.

“Well
, it was nice seeing you again Tally. Good luck, and goodbye.” I stand there and watch him walk away.

I head to my car and pull my phone out of my back pocket
. I call Scarlett and Cassidy and tell them to meet me at home in an hour. I drive home with thousands of butterflies in my stomach. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I hope that James hasn’t moved on. Oh God, the thought hit me. What if he is at the wrap party with a date? Should I call him now or wait until the party? It’s a few days away, can I hold out that long? Okay, all excitement is now vanished and I’m feeling sick again. Shit. I pull up at my drive surprised to see Cassidy’s car in my drive already. I laugh to myself and get out of my car. I start towards my house and Cass comes bounding out of the door like a golden retriever. “Oh my God Tally. What the fuck? Why did you meet with Dean fucking Riley? Have you lost your goddamn mind?” I can’t help but laugh at all her questions.

“You done? I need
ed to see him, we talked about everything. He is sorry for what he did. He explained everything to me and I’m happy to move on okay? Now are you going to help me get ready to win my heart back or not?”

It’s the day of the wrap party, my nerves are shot. I haven’t been online
, out of fear of seeing or hearing that James has moved on. Sam and Carlos have been keeping me busy at work so that I don’t think too much about him. I feel stupid because it took me so losing James for me to see how much I truly love him. James has my heart, completely. Scarlett and Cass are in my bedroom discussing how I’m wearing my hair and make-up like. I already have my dress, shoes and bag, courtesy of Scarlett Avenue. The girls turn to look at me like I’m their latest project. Oh shit, I am. I smile to myself. “What are you all smiley about?”

“Just thinking about how you two are going to work your magic on me
and make me look fucking hot for James. I just hope it isn’t a waste.” I shrug. Scarlett comes over to me and grips my face in her hands.

“He loves you and you
love him. He is a fucking asshole if he doesn’t take you back tonight, okay?” I nod.

“Okay
ladies, let’s get this party started.” Cassidy turns to her iPhone on the docking station and hits play. ‘I belong to you’ by Paramore plays and I laugh.

Two hours later I’m dressed and primed and ready to go. I stand in front of my full length mirror and study myself. I’m wearing a black
strapless dress that stops mid-thigh. The bottom half of the dress is covered in lace. I’m wearing my matching black peep toe shoes. I have no necklace on, but have pretty drop earrings and a few loose bracelets on my right wrist. I’m wearing my sibling ring that Scarlett and Jake bought me. My hair is down, but curled at the ends and pinned back on one side of my head. Wow, I can’t believe I’m going to do this. The girls are sitting in my bed, looking rather proud. I have to say, they have out done themselves. I twirl for them and we all laugh. “Okay Pup, let’s get you to that party, shall we?” I nod and breathe out the breath I have been holding. Cassidy hands me my clutch and we all head for the door. Once we step outside, I stop in my tracks and look back at my sister.

“What did you do?” She shrugs and smiles
.

“I called in a favo
r. I thought you could arrive in style, Pup.” I look back at the shiny silver Mercedes F800. Wow, that car is the shit. The passenger door opens and my jaw hits the floor. Tanner steps out, looking all sharp and handsome in his black suit. He walks towards me with a huge grin on his beautiful face.

“Oh my G
od Tanner, is that your car?” I say, waving my hand in the car’s direction. He laughs and shakes his head.

“No T
ally, this car belongs to Erica. After the phone call I had from your sister, I asked Erica to help out and let me borrow her car for a few hours.” I look at the car over his shoulder.

“Erica just let you drive her Merc?” I raise an eyebrow
.

“Ok
ay, okay, I begged her. Babe, have you seen that car? It’s every boy’s wet dream. Plus, I get to drive an absolute stunning lady to a party in it, so that’s an added bonus.” He offers me his elbow and kisses my cheek. “Your carriage awaits you, chica” I smile and wave back to my sister and best friend. I mouth ‘Thank You’ and they both blow me kisses. Tanner opens the door for me and I climb in. I take deep breaths and play with my bag. Tanner walks around the car and folds into the driver seat. He smiles at me. “You ready?” I nod, too afraid to hear my own voice. He starts the car and pulls away from my house while I wave to Scarlett and Cassidy. I owe them so damn much.

We arrive at the club where the wrap party is being held and there are paparazzi everywhere. There are two cars in front of ours, so I get to sit and take it all in. Tanner reaches for my hand
. “You will be fine Tally, okay? Just tell James how you feel and things will work out, I believe that.” I smile and nod again. Our car moves forward and the butterflies decide to kick in again. I brace myself as we pull up at the red carpet.

Okay, I can do this.

The door opens and I place my hand in the hand offered to me and climb out. Camera flashes are going off to my left and right. Questions are being shouted at me, but I ignore them. I make my way into the club where the doorman gives me a chin lift and allows me to continue through the door. I walk down the dark hall way until I come to a smartly dressed guy with a clip board.

“Name please?” I take a deep breath
, praying James didn’t remove my name.

“Natalia Slone
.” I say in a weak voice. He looks down the list and nods to the guy to lift the red rope.

“Enjoy your evening
, Miss Slone.” I nod and give my thanks.

          
I enter the large room with flashing multi coloured lights and loud music playing. I look around the room for James or maybe someone I may know. With no luck, I head for the bar. “Hi, what can I get you?”

“
Can I have lemon water please?” The bartender nods and heads off to make my drink. I take my drink and head for a tall stool and tall bar table. I have been here an hour already and not seen anyone I know. I have a sinking feeling in my belly. I don’t think tonight will go in my favor. Perhaps James did come with a date and he is with her right now, taking her like he did me. The thought of James touching other women makes my skin crawl and tears burn my eyes at the thought. After another glance around the room, I spot Sasha heading my way. A small, fake smile creeps over my face as she gets closer.

“Oh my
, Tally you look outstanding, girl. I’m so glad you came. I thought James said that you weren’t coming because of the break up.” I try to smile at her, but it’s hard to after hearing that James has told people that we had broken up.

“Umm,
I wasn’t going to come, but I have sorted a few things out and I think that I owe James an explanation. Is he here?” Her smile fades and my heart sinks again. “He has brought a date, hasn’t he?”

She gives me a sympathetic smile
. “I’m sorry, Tally. I tried to tell him to wait for a while, but you know how strong willed James is.” I smile.

“Yeah
, I know. Well Sasha, the room looks amazing and I really hope you raise a lot of money tonight. I will be making a donation also. I will get in touch, okay? I’m going to pop to the ladies and then head home. He has moved on, so I guess that’s what I have to do again.”  She hugs me and steps back for me to leave.

I make it to the ladies without any interactions wit
h anyone. A see a few men looking my way, but I ignore them. Scarlett and Cassidy would be proud of their magic. I leave the ladies and head back out across the dance floor and I see him, sitting in a booth with big ass fake titted blonde. She has her head buried in his neck, but James is just looking around the room while drinking his drink. He seems uninterested. Why would he bring a date if he didn’t want to interact with her? Fuck, this hurts, though. My stomach knots and my chest constricts. I head across the dance floor towards the door, hoping I can leave before anyone sees my tears. I try not to look at him with Miss Barbie-wanna-be, but I can’t help myself. I chance a glance at him and at that exact second, as if he senses me, James turns his head towards me. Our eyes lock and a tear escape’s down my cheek. Shock, guilt and confusion crosses his face. I shake my head and continue wading through the crowd. I can almost see the red rope when I feel a hand on my arm. I don’t need to turn around to see James standing behind me. I close my eyes and take a deep soothing breath, trying to calm my sobs. I turn to face him, God he looks good. He is wearing black jeans with a white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up past the elbow.