Let's Make It Legal (16 page)

He reached for her, and when he did he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. He pulled her into his arms and cradled her against him, stroking her hair, even though she tried to push away. He lifted her chin and kissed her, deeply, trying to show her that he knew she didn’t feel the way she’d pretended to feel, trying to show her how much she meant to him.

When the kiss ended, he held her face between his hands and looked deep into her eyes. “You mean a lot more to me than just someone to go to bed with,” he said fiercely. “I love you. I love you, Sydney, and I think you love me, too.”

“Oh, John...” A lone tear slipped from her eye and crept down her cheek.

“You do love me, don’t you?” He brushed the tear away, an aching tenderness filling his heart.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I do love you. I think I’ve always loved you.” And then she cried in earnest. “I’m sorry I acted so stupid.”

“Hush,” he said, stroking her hair. “You weren’t stupid.”

Her voice was muffled against his chest. “Yes, I was. You’re probably disgusted with me.”

“I’m not disgusted with you.”

She held him tightly. “I was so afraid you didn’t love me. I tried to pretend I didn’t care.”

“I know.” He’d done the same thing.

“John...” She looked up, her eyes brilliant, her eyelashes spiky and wet. “Say it again.”

He smiled gently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you.”

She sighed.

And then he kissed her and wondered what in Heaven’s name he was going to do now.

* * *

Sydney knew if she lived to be one hundred, she would never have a Thanksgiving weekend as perfect as this one. Although she had intended to go the office on Friday, John wouldn’t hear of it.

“You work too much,” he said. “I want you to go shopping with me.”

Sydney was thrilled. Not that she liked shopping that much, but the idea that John wanted her along made her feel good. She realized that even though he’d said he loved her, she still felt insecure about their future. She still wondered how she could fit into his life.

They went to Buffalo Bayou Mall, which was Sydney’s favorite. She helped John pick out several books and games for both Emily and Jeffrey and watched as he tried to decide whether to buy them an expensive video game that he said they’d been wanting.

“Oh, what the hell. They’ll only be kids once.” With a rueful smile, he picked up the game. “I spoil them, don’t I?”

Sydney just smiled. She remembered how her father used to lavish Christmas presents on her. Of course, they were never the kinds of presents her sisters received, but Sydney had always told herself she was glad. She was special. She didn’t want dumb girl-presents like dolls and tea sets and jewelry.

Now she wondered what it might have been like if she
had
been treated like her sisters. Maybe she wouldn’t have had so many stupid insecurities. And maybe she and her sisters would be better friends today. She shook off the memory. This day belonged to John. She didn’t want anything to spoil it.

They ate lunch at the food court—Sydney laughing as John tried to get his mouth around an enormous gyro. She opted for pizza, which was easier to eat.

After lunch, they started looking for gifts for the rest of John’s family. Sydney decided she might as well get things for her family, too. She was ashamed to admit it to John, but she usually took the easy way out and gave everybody except her parents gift certificates. She smiled, thinking how surprised they would be to see that she’d actually taken the time to shop.

She selected expensive cologne for Wendy, knowing that her youngest sister didn’t have a lot of discretionary income right now. For Eliza, she decided on a designer scarf, and for Claire a leather handbag like the one John bought his sister.

They made several trips to the car to dump their packages in the trunk. At four o’clock, John said, “I’m ready to call it a day.”

“Me, too,” Sydney said thankfully. Her feet hurt.

“Do you mind if we go by my house? I’ll drop this stuff off and check messages. I also told the kids I’d call today,” John said.

“I don’t mind at all.”

As they were walking out of the mall, John suddenly stopped.

“What?” Sydney said.

John walked over to the window of a small boutique called Phoebe’s. In the window was a winter scene, complete with Santa Claus and a sleigh. Sitting atop the sleigh was a blond mannequin dressed in a long-sleeved, full-skirted red wool dress with a low-scooped neckline trimmed in pearls and iridescent sequins.

“C’mon. Let’s go in,” John said. He grabbed her hand.

Sydney smothered her moan. She didn’t feel like doing any more shopping. “Who’d you forget?”

He smiled. “I didn’t forget anyone. I just saw something I want.”

When they were inside, an elegant gray-haired saleswoman approached them. Her name tag said “Phoebe.” She smiled. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes,” John said. “That red dress in the window. Do you have it in her size?” He gestured toward Sydney.

Sydney’s mouth dropped open.

The saleswoman looked at Sydney critically. “Size ten?” she said.

“John,” Sydney said, “I don’t think—”

“I do.”

“But, John-”

“Please, Sydney. Humor me, okay?”

Ten minutes later, Sydney stood in the dressing room and told herself not to be silly. Her admonition didn’t help. She felt ridiculous, like a kid playing dress-up, or something. She didn’t want to walk out and let John or the saleswoman see her in the dress. She knew she looked stupid. All she’d had to do was look at herself in the mirror. She simply wasn’t cut out to wear a dress like this. But even as she tugged the neckline up, she couldn’t help thinking the dress would look perfect with her red shoes.

There was a discreet tap on the door, followed by, “Do you need some help?” from the saleswoman.

“Uh, no, I’m fine,” Sydney said. She took a deep breath. Oh, well. She might as well get it over with. She opened the door and stepped outside.

John’s gaze swept over her.

Sydney smoothed the dress down self-consciously.

“Walk over here,” he said, and the look in his eyes made Sydney feel exactly the way she did when he touched her. She walked slowly toward him.

“Now turn around,” he said softly.

She pirouetted slowly. When she was again facing him, she almost shivered at the way he was looking at her.

“It’s perfect,” he said, smiling. “And when you wear it with those red shoes of yours . . . “

“John, I don’t think—”

“Don’t you think it’s perfect?” he asked the saleswoman.

“Oh, absolutely,” she agreed.

Well, of course
she’d
agree, Sydney thought. Phoebe wanted to make the sale. One look at the price tag had told Sydney that. She started to protest again, but John ignored her.

“We’ll take it,” he said, handing his credit card to the saleswoman.

“Excellent choice. Now what about jewelry to go with it. I have some special earrings—”

“I don’t need earrings,” Sydney said. She drew the line at earrings.

“Let’s not push our luck,” John said, laughing, and the saleswoman gave a flirty little laugh in return.

Sydney frowned and returned to the dressing room. She looked at herself in the three-way mirror again. She thought about the expression in John’s eyes. And for some reason, she was again reminded of all the Christmases when her sisters had gotten piles of frilly, feminine clothes and she’d gotten golf clubs and hunting rifles. She smoothed her hands over her rib cage and hips.

Then she smiled and carefully removed the dress. They finally left the mall and drove to John’s house. After he’d unloaded all of his purchases, checked his messages and called his children, he suggested they eat there. “I’ll cook you dinner.”

“Oh, John, it’s too much trouble. You weren’t planning to feed me. Let’s just go out,” Sydney said.

“It’s no trouble. I like to cook.”

Sydney marveled when she saw his freezer. He took out frozen asparagus and chicken breasts and a loaf of French bread. Sydney sat on a high stool and watched as he prepared the food. He was obviously one of those people who never measured anything. He chopped and trimmed and seasoned, all with a casual confidence that amazed Sydney.

About an hour after he’d started, they sat down to dinner. Besides the chicken, which he’d made with a mushroom-wine sauce, and asparagus, there was a saffron-flavored rice and the crusty bread, and John had opened a chilled bottle of a delicious Pinot Grigio to go along with their meal.

Sydney thought that even if she’d planned for a week, she wouldn’t have been able to cook anything that tasted half as good. He was beginning to make her feel just as inadequate as her sisters did.

Why was it other people seemed to have so many talents, and she had so few?

As they neared the end of their meal, Sydney wondered if he’d want to spend the night at his house. She didn’t think she wanted to. There were too many reminders of Andrea here.

He didn’t suggest it, so they went back to Sydney’s, and she was glad.

On Saturday, John suggested they go to the Arboretum to walk. “You don’t get enough fresh air and exercise,” he said.

Sydney thought how if anyone else had said that to her, she would have taken it as a criticism. With John, though, she didn’t mind. She knew he was right.

After their long walk, John took her to Pappadeaux’s for lunch, where they stuffed themselves on crawfish. During the afternoon, they went to a movie, something Sydney hadn’t done in years. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent a Saturday at the movies. She felt lazy and decadent.

They ate popcorn and held hands.

It was wonderful.

That night, John built a fire in Sydney’s fireplace, and they spent the evening snuggled together on the couch. Later, they spread a quilt on the floor and made love in front of the fire. Still later, they sent out for a pizza.

“I can’t believe I’m hungry again,” Sydney said as she helped herself to her third piece.

“Sex makes you hungry,” John said.

“Is that the collective ‘you’ or me in particular?”

He grinned. “I’m not sure. Do you want to help me conduct more research on the subject?”

On Sunday they slept late, then went out for brunch. Afterward, John asked Sydney if she wanted to go with him to pick up the kids at the airport. “I think it’s time you get to know them,” he said.

Pleasure mixed with uneasiness welled up in Sydney’s chest. She knew she was good with kids. Even her sisters’ kids seemed to like her a lot, but maybe John’s children wouldn’t. Maybe they wouldn’t like it that she and John were seeing each other.

And what would John do if they resented her? Sydney had no illusions about John’s priorities. He’d told her often enough that his children came first with him. It was another of the things she loved most about him. His children
should
come first.

Riddled by doubts and feeling more insecure by the moment, she rode out to the airport with him. As they waited at the gate, she almost laughed at herself. Here she was, a woman who could face an entire courtroom with confidence, and now the prospect of facing two small children had her tied up in knots.

The deplaning passengers began filtering through the jetway.

“Here they come,” John said. He grinned as first Jeffrey, then Emily, popped into view.

“Dad!” Jeffrey shouted, running the last few yards, then launching himself at John.

“Whoa,” John said, but he laughed and lifted Jeffrey for a quick hug.

A more sedate Emily approached at a slower pace. She eyed Sydney curiously, then turned to smile at her father, who gathered her into his arms.

“I want you to meet a friend of mine,” John said after they’d hugged. He smiled at Sydney. “This is Sydney. Sydney, Emily and Jeffrey.”

“Hi,” Jeffrey said, his green eyes friendly.

“Sydney’s kind of a funny name, isn’t it?” Emily said, her hazel eyes more assessing.

“Emily!” John said.

“Well, it
is,
” Emily said.

Sydney smiled. “You’re right, Emily. I’ve always wished I had a different name.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Jeffrey said.

Emily rolled her eyes. “Oh, Jeffrey, you do not.”

“Do, too!” He stuck his tongue out at his sister.

“Do not.” Emily gave Sydney a look of exasperation, and Sydney bit back a grin.

“Let’s go get your suitcases,” John said. His gaze met Sydney’s over the heads of the children, who were still saying, “Do, too,” and “Do not,” and racing ahead of them. Now she did grin, and after a second, he grinned back.

Sydney felt as if she’d just passed her first test.

The month between Thanksgiving and Christmas was one of the busiest months John’s agency had ever had. John and his sister worked long hours, which was a mixed blessing for Sydney. She didn’t get to see him as often as she would have liked, yet his heavy workload and his responsibilities as a father gave her much-needed catch-up time at work.

She’d neglected her work terribly since meeting John, and she knew she couldn’t continue to do so. The end of the year was always a busy time for her firm, anyway, and this year was no exception.

Even though she would have liked to spend more time with John, the time she
did
spend with him was some of the happiest in her life. Sometimes she wondered if this was because John made each outing so special or if it was simply the fact that Sydney loved being with him, no matter what they were doing.

One Saturday, he made good on his earlier promise and invited her to accompany him and his children to the zoo. The day turned out to be wonderful. She wasn’t sure what thrilled her more—the growing feeling of closeness with John or the easy camaraderie between her and his children.

She also had more fun than she’d have ever imagined possible. It was amazing to her that eating hot dogs and watching the antics of monkeys could be so exciting and special, but it was.

When the day ended, she knew she would remember it forever.

Another Saturday afternoon, they went to the Galleria, and all four of them skated at the indoor ice skating rink. Sydney only fell once, which she considered pretty remarkable considering she hadn’t been on ice skates since she was twelve.