Life Or Something Like It (29 page)

The light was fading and the sky was scattered with myriads of stars. They instinctively gazed up in awe. Cat nestled against Finn as they watched in contented silence. Something darted past her line of vision.

‘A shooting star!’ cried Daisy.

‘Make a wish,’ commanded Ellie, closing her eyes tightly.

Cat felt Finn pull her closer as he whispered in her ear. ‘What did you wish for?’

She smiled, planting a small secret kiss on his cheek. ‘Now that would be telling.’

Chapter Nineteen

Cat felt like a teenager during the last days of the holiday, as if they were sneaking around fearful that their parents, or in this case the children, might discover the truth. Cat had to confess that she rather enjoyed stealing secret kisses with Finn. It felt deliciously illicit but also gave her a chance to get used to the idea of a man in her life. She had time to sit back and get to know him better without the complication of sex. If she had met Finn in her usual social setting, without these pint-sized chaperones in tow, she would have very likely slept with him by now.

On the first night after they’d returned from the beach there was an immediate tacit understanding that anything beyond kissing and talking was out of the question for the moment. After the kids had gone to bed, they sat together on the sofa and talked properly for the first time. There was no skirting round the issues now. Cat knew that she could tell Finn anything and, more importantly, she wanted to.

‘Where were you when you found out about your parents?’ asked Finn. They were lying at opposites ends of the sofa. Every now and then he reached out a hand to stroke her feet. It felt very intimate but also unexpectedly natural.

‘We were staying with my grandparents. Mum and Dad thought I was still too young to look after Andrew on my own and we loved staying with Granny and Gramps,’ said Cat with a fond smile. ‘Granny was an even more elegant version of Mum.’ Finn’s gaze was steady and kind, giving her the courage to continue. ‘Mum and Dad left just after lunch. They were excited to be going away for a night. Mum was wearing this new dress she’d bought – it was peach-coloured silk and she wore a headscarf and shades. She looked – well, she just looked perfect.’

‘I remember my dad standing there, smiling at her as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was, as if she were the only woman in the world. I can remember Mum cupping Andrew’s face in her hands and kissing him on the forehead and the way she embraced me. She looked me in the eye and said, “When did you get so tall?” Because we were almost the same height by then. Then she pressed her cheek to mine and whispered, “My beautiful girl,” and they were gone in a flurry of excitement.

‘That night, as I pulled my T-shirt over my head, I could smell the citrus scent of her perfume from that embrace. I never washed that T-shirt and I tried for years to find the perfume but I think they stopped making it.’ Cat’s voice trailed off as fresh grief washed over her. ‘It was too soon,’ she gasped. ‘It was too bloody soon. I needed them. Andrew needed them.’ Finn moved to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her, enveloping her with love. ‘I still need them,’ she sobbed. Finn didn’t speak. There were no words he could offer and Cat was grateful that he didn’t try. It was enough that he was there, holding her, letting her cry.

She felt as if she had nearly twenty years of tears to shed, but what surprised her most was the relief. It was unexpectedly liberating to finally tell someone how she felt but, above all, she was glad it was Finn. She felt at ease with him. Cat recognised this as an entirely new sensation and she had to admit that it was rather wonderful too. Finn held her until she was calmer and then reached behind her head for a tissue. He wiped away her tears and kissed her tenderly.

‘I’m sorry. I must look a state,’ she sniffed.

‘Don’t ever be sorry for how you feel and as for your appearance…’ he paused to push her hair back from her face and plant a kiss on the corner of her mouth ‘…you have never looked more beautiful.’

‘Liar!’ laughed Cat, hitting him on the arm. He grinned. ‘I suppose you think I’m a fool for allowing my grief to hold me back,’ she said, studying his face for a response.

Finn kissed her again. ‘“Fool” is not a word I would use for you, Cat Nightingale.’ He smiled. ‘But I do know that you can’t live in the shadow of the past. And from what you’ve told me about them, that’s the last thing your parents would want for you.’

Cat nodded. ‘I know. It’s strange because I thought I was living in the present, when really I was being held back by ignoring the past. It just became easy to live life that way but now…’

‘Now?’ asked Finn, his eyes wide and hopeful.

Cat leant over to kiss him. ‘Now I am revising my official policy.’

He grinned. ‘I’m very glad to hear it.’

‘And what about you?’ asked Cat. ‘You’ve done a very good job of not letting the past hold you back.’

Finn nodded. ‘At first it made me angry at the world. I used to get into a lot of fights at the home. But Ronnie made me realise what a wasted emotion that is.’

‘She’s a wise one, your sister.’

‘She is,’ admitted Finn. ‘And then I discovered music. You can’t be angry when you’re playing music. Unless you’re into thrash metal.’ Cat laughed, reaching out a hand to stroke his cheek. Finn smiled. ‘I suppose it all clicked into place the day Daisy was born.’ Cat studied his face. It was a picture of warmth and joy as he recalled the memory. ‘Ronnie wanted me to be there but I was under strict instructions to stay away from the business end of things.’ Finn smirked at the memory, making Cat smile.

‘Ronnie was amazing. I mean, she’s pretty tough at the best of times, but it was as if she’d become this other being, sort of primal and fierce and completely determined. She knew exactly what to do and I was proud to be by her side. One minute she was squeezing my hand, eyes fixed forwards, steely and determined and suddenly, Daisy was there. She gave this little squawk like she was announcing her presence and then she seemed to turn her face to her mum and then me. I know babies can’t see at first but it was if she was sizing us up and saying, “You’ll do.” And that was that for me. The most important people in the world were in that room and beyond that, nothing else really mattered.’ Finn turned his gaze on Cat and smiled. ‘Until now.’ Cat stared into his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him. It was a long, lingering kiss, which became increasingly passionate.

Cat could feel Finn’s hands moving down her body and she gently pushed him away. ‘We have to stop. What if the kids wake up?’ Finn was kissing her neck, pretending not to hear as he worked his way along her collarbone. She shivered with delight but gave him another shove. ‘Finn?’ He glanced up at her and moved his body towards her, covering her mouth with his. Cat felt the heat rise up inside her, urgent with longing. It would be so easy to give in. She pushed at his shoulders and held his face in her hands. ‘Stop. We have to stop.’

Finn sighed and moved to a sitting position. ‘You’re right but it’s taking all my powers of restraint.’

Cat sat up and leant forwards, whispering in his ear. ‘You will get your chance soon,’ she purred. He turned and they kissed again, slowly and deeply.

‘I’m taking that kiss as a promise,’ he said as they pulled away.

The next couple of days were exquisite agony. Cat felt a surge of excitement every time they stole a secret kiss or she felt Finn’s touch. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt this way or wanted something more. She supposed she’d had similar feelings for Jesse once but in truth, this was very different.

They packed up the cars early on the final day. ‘Why are we in such a hurry?’ complained Ellie as Cat bundled them into the car.

‘Don’t you want to get back to see Daddy?’ asked Cat.

‘Ye-es, but I’m sad to leave our cottage. Can we come here again?’

‘I think we should.’ Cat smiled. ‘Okay, I’m going to check the house one more time and say goodbye to Finn.’ She waved at Daisy who was already sitting in Finn’s car and bounded back into the cottage. He caught her as they met in the hallway and pinned her against the wall with a kiss so intense Cat felt breathless.

‘And that’s my promise of things to come,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘Don’t be late.’

‘I’m never late,’ she murmured, gazing at him. Finn closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers before pulling away. He held onto her hand as he walked away and gave it a chivalrous kiss before letting go.

Cat cursed every traffic jam and red light on her way home, willing the cars to move out of the way. She felt heady with excitement as she pulled up outside her brother’s house.

‘Here we are!’ she cried, leaping from the driver’s seat and running round to let the children out. She threw open the boot and pulled out two bags. Andrew had already spotted the car and was jogging down the steps to meet them.

‘Hello!’ he said, ruffling Charlie’s hair and accepting a leg hug from Ellie. ‘Good journey?’

‘Yes. Great,’ replied Cat, pulling the remaining luggage out of the boot and following Andrew up to the house.

‘Fancy a tea?’ he asked as they entered the hall.

‘No I’m fine, thanks. I should probably get off,’ she said with a brisk smile.

‘Where are you off to in such a hurry?’

‘Nowhere,’ replied Cat a little too quickly.

‘She’s going round to kiss Finn,’ reported Ellie. Cat stared down at her niece, open-mouthed. ‘Daisy and me saw you kissing. It was a bit yucky to be honest.’

Andrew stared at his sister with eyebrows raised. ‘Oh yes?’

Cat gave a small cough. ‘And on that bombshell, I should really get going. Bye, kids. Thanks for a brilliant holiday. See you on Monday.’

‘Bye, Auntie Cat. Love you,’ said Ellie, wrapping her arms around her aunt.

‘Yeah, bye, Cat,’ added Charlie shyly. ‘And thanks.’

‘Bye.’ Cat smiled.

Andrew followed her to the car. ‘So,’ he said with a wry grin. ‘Finn not the know-it-all irritant you dismissed him as?’

‘Okay,’ replied Cat, giving him a playful shove. ‘Don’t gloat. You were right. He’s one of the good guys.’

Andrew wrapped his sister in a tight hug. ‘I’m really happy for you, sis, and thank you. For everything.’

‘Thank
you
,’ she replied with emphasis.

‘For what?’

Cat pursed her lips. ‘For broadening my horizons.’

He gave a gracious bow before opening the car door and ushering her inside. ‘Right, off you go. Have fun, actually, I don’t want to think about what you’re going to have,’ he said with a comical grimace. ‘I’ll see you on Monday.’

She smiled as she drove off, her mind overflowing with thoughts of Finn. She pulled up outside his flat and practically skipped up the steps.

He answered the intercom with the words ‘Cat Nightingale’. Even the way he said her name made the hairs on her arms stand on end. She flew up the stairs and met him at the door, grabbing his face in her hands as they kissed. He pushed her up against the door to close it and covered her face and neck with kisses. She tilted her head back and wrapped her legs around his body. All their movements were urgent and impatient as he carried her to the bedroom. They were pulling at one another’s clothes, hungry and filled with longing. They laughed when he couldn’t get his T-shirt over his head and he gazed down at her with longing as she peeled off her underwear. He pushed her gently back onto the bed and Cat gasped with pleasure as he kissed his way down her body.

She was in a hurry though and pulled him back on top of her. He understood, staring into her eyes as he moved inside her. The surge of pleasure was exquisite for Cat and she arched her back as ripples of intense delight coursed their way through her body. It felt so wonderful, so inevitable. She held Finn’s face in her hands as they moved together, relishing the connection, deliciously intimate as the rest of the world faded into the background. Afterwards, they lay facing one another. Finn stroked her face and body, admiring every inch of her.

‘You are so beautiful,’ he murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth.

‘You’re not so bad yourself.’ Cat smiled, framing his face in her hands and kissing him on the mouth.

He pulled her closer to him. ‘Just so you know, we’re going to do that again in a minute.’ He grinned.

‘Oh really?’ she said, raising one eyebrow suggestively.

Finn stroked her arm and breast, causing Cat to shiver. ‘Really,’ he replied. ‘In fact, we’re not going to get out bed for the rest of the weekend.’

Cat stretched her arms above her head and closed her eyes as Finn started to kiss his way down her body. ‘Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind,’ she sighed. As they made love again, she felt as if a lost part of her was restored and the strange thing for Cat was that until this moment, she hadn’t even realised that it had been missing.

Finn was true to his word. They hardly left the bed that weekend. On Sunday evening, Cat went back to her flat to drop off her holiday bags and get some clean clothes but she took Finn with her. The activities that had taken place in his bed were transferred to her bed that night. On Monday morning they drove round to collect Daisy on their way to Andrew’s house.

Ronnie came skipping out of the flat with Daisy in tow as they pulled up outside. ‘Hey, Cat,’ she cried. She nudged her brother meaningfully as he climbed out of the passenger seat ready to help Daisy into the car.

‘Hi.’ Cat smiled.

She was amazed when Ronnie danced round to her side of the car, reached in through the open window and hugged her. ‘Just let me know when I need to buy a hat,’ she whispered.

‘Ronnie,’ said Finn, shooting his sister a warning glance.

‘What?’ replied Ronnie, stepping back from Cat with feigned innocence. Cat laughed.

‘See you later, sis,’ said Finn, shaking his head.

‘Bye, Mummy,’ called Daisy from the back seat. Ronnie waved them off, a huge grin on her face.

‘Well we’ve made someone’s day,’ laughed Cat.

Finn put a hand on her leg. ‘You’ve certainly made mine.’

As they arrived at Andrew’s house, Cat noticed that her brother was doing his best not to ask them about their weekend. ‘Good morning!’ he cried a little too loudly. ‘Come in, come in. Hello, Finn, Daisy. Did you enjoy the holiday?’