Light to Valhalla (46 page)

“What
is the meaning of this?
”
Alex thrust
the ribbon bound pages out for her inspection.”

Regina stopped short, flicking a startled gaze between Alex and the papers
.

“
I found these letters in your desk.”

Understanding followed by g
uilt flickered through his mother’s face as her
eyes shifted
from the wad of letters to
Alex
.

“Mother?”

“
Really
, dear
, I have no idea what you could be referring to
.”

Dear? 
His mother never called him dear.

She
took a tiny step back toward
the
main hall, but Alex refused to be deterred and quickly followed.
“You’
ve been keeping these?
” he pressed
.
“
Why?
”

Regina
’s eyes narrowed as though contemplating whether or not to tell him the truth
.
Finally she
shrugged
.
“You deserve better
.”

“Deserve better…
”
Confusion
swirled through his head, intensifying the ache throbbing behind his temple
.
“Speak sense for once, mother
.
Charley
was good enough for Richard
.
How is it any different with me?”

Her face hardened, eyes narrowed with familiar menace
.
“You would never understand
.
You’re just like your father.”

Ignoring the familiar barb he moved onto the next question eating at his brain
.
“Did you hav
e
anything to do with
Charley’s accident
?
”
He advanced on his mother, holding her eyes to his with a cold glare
.
“Someone intentionally damaged her saddle and she was seriously injured heading out for a ride this morning
.
Dr. Carson is seeing to her now.”

Regina gasped, thoroughly affronted
.
“
Y-you
think I’d harm her?  You
cannot be serious.”

“I am deadly serious
.
Did you have Charley’s
girth strap tampered with?”

True hurt lit his mother’s eyes
.
“
I will not hear
any more
of this
… this… utter nonsense
.
I admit
to keeping a few letters, but murder, Alex?  Do you think so little of your own mother?
”
Without waiting for an answer she swept regally
past him
, head held high.

With a heavy sigh
Alex slapped the letters against his palm, unable to fully decipher or discard his mother’s bizarre behavior
.
He walked across the hall
back
into his study safely stowing Charley’s letters in the bottom drawer
of his desk beneath a pile of ledgers
.

He ambled back to the hall
and hailed Hastings
.
Handing the butler
the
letter he said, “Find some sealing wax and then have this delivered to
the magistrate with
all possible haste.”

“Yes, my lord.
”
Ever efficient Hastings took the note and turned crisply away
.

“And, Hastings?”

“Sir?”

“
Make mention of this to no one
.
I want to be informed of any suspicious staff behavior.
”

“Of course.”

Alex sighed and returned to his study
to await the physician, mind whirling with the events of the morning
.

Not an hour later the good doctor appeared in the hall with a pleasant smile on his fatherly face
.
“As far as I can tell your wife is
absolutely fine, my
lord
.
A few bruises but nothing that won’t take care of itself.”

“
Thank the L
ord for that, Doctor.
”
Alex pumped the man’s hand
.
“And
thanks to you for coming so quickly.”

“No trouble at all, my lord
.
I don’t believe any harm came to the child your wife is carrying
either
, but,” the doctor shrugged, “it may be too soon to tell
.
If you have any concerns don’t hesitate to send for me.”

The walls collapsed in on him with suffocating force
.
Alex stumbled back, yanking
at
the
cravat
tightening like a noose around his throat
.
Charley’s pregnant? 
Alex did nothing but stare dumbly at the physician for the full space of a minute
.
And she didn’t tell me?

“My lord, are you feeling all right?”

“
Shh
-
er
-fine, Doctor
.
Thank yo
u, again, and I’ll inform you if
any further concerns arise
.”

             
Lost and adrift Alex bid the doctor farewell and strode up the stairs with a heavy heart
.
He had no idea what to make of the news or how he was supposed to react
.
Part of him wanted to be excited, while other parts of him were bogged in the mire of his botched marriage
.
Should he bring the subject up or give Charley time to tell him?

He
pondered the predicament, wondering if
life could get any more mud
died, and slipped into her
room
.
She lay
cocooned in the bed sheets,
face
white
, brilliant r
ed hair contrasting
with the more pallid color
of her skin and the linens
.
In an instant fear consumed him
.
Fear for Charley
.
Fear for their unborn child, but more than anything…  Fear of losing her
.

“Alex?”

“I’m here, love.
”
He covered the distance of the room in three strides and dropped at her side
.
“How do you feel?”

“Tired.
”
She yawned
.
“Very, very tried.”

“Sleep, sweetheart.
”
He brushed the hair from her forehead
, pressing a light kiss upon her brow
.

“My saddle broke.”

“I know
.
Jefferies found a deliberate cut in the leather.”

Her eyes flew open and she shuddered
.
“
I don’t understand this, Alex
.
Who would want to hurt me?
”
She groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes
.
“
Will this never be over?
”

“
Not to worry, love
.
I’ll protect you, I promise.
”
He shift
ed closer to her on
the bed
, gathering her in his arms, holding her for a long moment
.
“I’m going to see
the
magistrate
as soon as I leave here.”

Her arms tightened around his neck
.
“Don’t go.
”
She
wiggled
o
nto
her side, dragging his arm across her middle
.
“Stay with me for a while.”

Alex swallowed around the lump
perpetually stuck
in his throat, and stretched on the bed beside her, snuggling her against his chest
.
He needed no further urging and would stay for as long as she allowed
.
Tension eased from his
weary
body
.
Holding her was so right
.
So perfect
.
He could never live without her
.

He tilted his face into the curve of her neck and slid a
possessive
hand over her still flat belly
.
Excitement
eclipsed some of the fear
plaguing his spirit
.
It was so hard to believe a baby lay in there
.
A tiny spark of life
created in love, to be loved
.
He envisioned his wife flushed and happy, round with their growing child
,
and
he
ached
with joy and hope
.
He wanted to
be there for every moment
.

The realization
of all he’d miss if he rejoined his regiment
hit him with a pang
.
He’d miss the birth of his child
.
First steps, first words
.
He’d already missed everything with Jack
.
Hadn’t even known the boy existed.

Jack.

Alex sat abruptly, looking to the door
.
He
’d
scarcely
laid eyes on the lad since his arrival at
Coverstone
House,
had merely entrusted him to the care of a nurse, and set off to make some sense of life.

Alex rose
carefully
from the bed, leaving a slumbering Charley to her rest
.
He quietly left the room and
trudged down the hall to the o
ld nursery
.
He hesitated
outside the door
.
Would
Jack
be frightened of him?  Perhaps the boy was sleeping and Alex should just leave him be.

“Coward,” he muttered
.
“Afraid of a two foot tall child.
”
Squaring his shoulders h
e drew a
steadying
breath
.
There came a time when a man must face all his demons, and in the face of yet more impending fatherhoo
d the time to face Jack had most definitely arrived
.

Alex twisted the knob
and swung the portal open
.
H
is heart quite literally fell out thro
ugh the bottom as h
e fell in love for the second time in his life
.
There,
sitting at the miniature wooden table
,
upon
a
miniature
wooden
chair
,
was
the miniature person he called
his son
.

His son
.

Panic
and pride
surged through Alex, and he had to grip the doorjamb to keep from crashing to the floor
.

My
son.

By
the powers
those words were growing on him, but
he didn’t
have the first clue how to be a father
.
Not a good one anyway
.
He’d never had anything
more than a piss poor example
, and i
n the back of his mind he’d always had a picture, an illusion, of what his children’s lives would
be like—a mo
ther to buffer his downfalls was foremost on that list
.
Instead he
found
himself completely alone
in the endeavor
.

The little boy looked up, uncertainty and more than a lit
tle fear in
his huge blue eyes
.

“Hullo, Jack,” Alex said, throat
clogged
with emotion
.
He moved slowly into the room, kneeling before the child, and extending a hand palm up
.