Lilah (13 page)

‘Yes, the older you grow the more astute you become
with this skill. Take care though. It is known to drive witches mad.
Eventually, you will also find that you can block out those thoughts you don’t
wish to hear, but everything takes time.’

It was only some way into our journey that I
asked where this ‘safe house’ was that he was taking me, and he described the
castle and told me of Lewis who would be pleased to welcome another witch into
the fold.

‘But take no heed of him though,’ he said,
‘should he have a mind to convince you to do things you don’t want to do. He is
very persuasive. You must stand up for yourself. If you prove that you can fit
in and contribute somehow then he will leave you alone.’

Gabriel explained how some strigoi, like Lewis,
had lived for many centuries. I was shocked to learn of Gabriel’s age, and
needing more convincing that this was possible. Then I thought to ask if other
strigoi there did the same as I had seen in Evie’s room.

‘Yes,’ he said simply. ‘It is how we survive.
And make no mistake, Lilah, Lewis will eliminate one of his own under a banner
of justice, but it is not like the unnecessary killing that humans perform on
one another. After so many centuries, humans still commit murder for twice as
much gold and power as they need.’

I thought seriously about this and said that I
would still prefer to be more human. This seemed to upset him. He stood then
and stepped around the fire to me, his face shimmering slightly in the yellow
light. He put his hands on my shoulders. ‘The sooner you forget your human
friends the better for you. They would burn you over this very pyre if they
knew what you could do. You are very fortunate that the monastery didn’t hand
you over to the inquisitors.’

I reminisced about Arianne, the good work of
the sisters, and how much I enjoyed talking to Evie, and even Danika. I could
not imagine never
to live
with humans again yet part
of me saw the truth when I remembered the faces of those sisters, like Sister
Nora, who had looked upon me with such repugnance. It was for the same reason
that my own parents had abandoned me.

‘You look worried. Just enjoy what you are.’

‘If I knew what that was perhaps I could. Will
Lewis force me to be like you? Will I have to kill to be accepted for I cannot
do such a
thing.
I cure, not kill.’

Gabriel smiled and for a moment this alone
disarmed me. ‘You do not have to do anything you don’t want to do.’ His hands
felt cold yet sent such warmth through me. The sensation was difficult to
describe but I began to feel drawn toward him, whatever he was, demon or
otherwise. ‘I will make sure that you are there to learn about your origins and
learn about yourself.’

‘Will I be working in the laundry again?’

‘No. We have human servants for all that. You
will never have to soil your hands again if you don’t want to.’

We wound through tall dark conifers. The skies
felt closer to the
earth,
so heavy they were with
grey. The last night together I felt chilled and a drizzle of rain dampened my
clothing. Gabriel did not seem to feel or notice it; droplets bounced off him
as if
the very idea of rain was rejected by his body
.
When he saw me shiver he then disappeared into the darkness and came back with
an armful of pears, which he poured into my lap, as well as a tailored women’s
coat. Where he had found these and previous gifts, and in such a short space of
time, was a mystery. He had said, numerous times, that we were far from any
town. He was indeed magical and mysterious.

I took a juicy bite out of one and handed him a
pear also but he shook his head.

‘Are you not hungry?’

‘No.’

‘But you have not eaten since we left.’

‘It is human food. It tastes sweet but it is of
no significance to me.’

I remembered him biting the neck of Istavan
like a bat and no longer had any appetite. I had not made the connection until
that moment and suddenly it came to me: ‘So human blood is your food?’

‘Of course.’

‘Oh no!’ I exclaimed. ‘I cannot come with you.
This is too much.’ I stood up in agitation.

‘Calm
yourself
,’ said
Gabriel who had remained seated. ‘You saw me kill yet you did not worry. Now
you worry?’

‘But...’

‘But what?
That I cannot have a heart and soul
because I need blood to sustain me?’

I clutched my temples. The truth was finally
catching up to me: the understanding that I was perhaps related to such a
species. I was thinking of those orphans who wandered the streets stealing to
survive. Were they captured, taken and fed to the likes of such creatures? ‘I
knew you killed to get rid of those criminals who you felt unworthy of living
but I did not understand that you also killed for food. It is too hard to
fathom.’ I felt flooded with feelings of nausea and thought that I might faint.
Looking back it was not just the realisation of my ancestry
but
a culmination of everything that had befallen me in the previous month.

Before I knew what was happening Gabriel had
wrapped me in his arms. ‘Be calm, little one. Do not despise me until you fully
understand. I can accompany a witch or human and not have the desire to take
their blood. I am not drawn by it as I am by human blood full of moral disease.’

I leant against him. His arms were firm and I
resisted the pressure at first. Then slowly the moment of panic had passed and
I was thinking of Gabriel as a friend not as I saw him back in Emil’s house.

‘Do not fear me,’ he said softly into my hair.
‘I kill only those undeserved, ridding the earth of only the filth. And our
rules are clear: we do not take the lives of children other than to release
them from their fatal disease.’

‘You could heal them.’

‘It is not our way,’ he said.

I did not ask how much killing he had done
– I did not want to hear the truth.

‘Am I like that?’

‘No. You are something different.’

I studied him for a moment. His expression was
clear and honest and I felt some relief. My instinct was perhaps to thank him
for his hospitality and be on my way. He was an enemy to people – perhaps
even those I had once befriended – and as I had witnessed, he could kill
quickly; in just a few short breaths. Yet even as I said this, my heart
softened and I was undeniably in his debt. I had no family, and no connections
to anyone. This was my destiny as much as it pained me to think of the
difference between this man and the monastery.

He held out his open palm toward me, smiling
disarmingly, and I noticed a small purple circle inked at his wrist. ‘If you do
not wish to come I will understand and I will take you to a village where
perhaps you can find some work. But it will never be safe for you. Humans will
not look after you once they know you carry magic.’

His words had already proven true. There were
no other choices. I took hold of his hand.

‘We must be going. I am expected,’ he said,
with some urgency. ‘You must hurry your food. We must keep travelling through
the night.’

Back on the horse, the clean night air rushed
at me and tiny needles of pine whipped at my legs as we galloped full speed
this time.

Some time past midnight we arrived at our
destination. Through the trees, a large shape emerged from the darkness. I
could see several spires rising high into the sky, and we entered tall gates
guarded by stone beasts with dog-like faces and horns on human bodies. A long
stone pathway led to stairs where more misshapen beasts sat waiting our
arrival, their eyes made of gems reflecting the light from the stars. Above us,
loomed the castle walls and several floors of grey stone.

Gabriel turned the horse sharply and rode along
a channel of water leading into a large anti-chamber where sacks of grain lined
the walls and several horses were tethered. He swung off the horse still with
reins in hand then helped me down so carefully as if I might break. As if we
were expected, a footman greeted us with warm damp cloths to wipe our hands and
faces.

I was led up a labyrinth of stairs and
hallways. We passed through a giant empty galley, making our way back to the
entrance of the castle. The front hall was spectacularly filled with
candle light
and everything seemed edged in gold from door
panels to banisters leading to two other levels. Large ornate candelabras hung
from the ceilings. I asked Gabriel why everything was so well lit in the middle
of the night.

‘Some of us rarely sleep,’ he said. ‘It does
not matter too much to us if it is day or night.’

He led me to another room. This had a high
ceiling and arched windows overlooking the front of the property. There was a
musty smell of age in here: old books, old rugs and something else. Large
tapestries hung on the walls but not like in Sister’s Gertrude’s room of
beatific Mary and Jesus and the saints, in vivid blues, browns and reds. These
were disturbing landscapes of places I had never been to. But one I could not
tear my eyes away from was of two undeterminable beasts standing on their back
legs beneath a full moon, conversing as if they were human. Although it seemed
a peaceful enough picture, it gave me chills at the back of my neck. I dared to
imagine that if the Papal authorities saw something like this, what would
become of a person in such possession.

 The study was also lined with books to
its high ceiling. I traced my finger over some of them. On their spines was
writing that I had never seen before, the covers made of what appeared to be
animal skin.
I was fascinated by all books
. We only
had a handful at the convent, which I had learned from: books on Christian
beliefs and practices, the blessed saints, and holy prayers. But here, the
selection seemed endless. I was about to take one from the shelf when someone
spoke my name.

Gabriel had vanished from the room and a tall
man had entered in his place. He wore a white robe belted at the middle and
around his shoulders a velvety red cape. He had the appearance of a cardinal
yet I knew that nothing could be further from the truth. He stepped towards me
with gaze unflinching, his movements so steady it was as if he were gliding.

‘Welcome to my home,’ he said. His voice was so
deep and melodic I was temporarily transfixed. It took a moment to find my
voice.

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘You must be Lewis. I have
heard that you are something of a teacher but I did not expect you to be so
tall.’

He laughed low and throaty. ‘How very
forthright and unusual you are.’

I did not think that anything unusual was
spoken but I was known to sometimes voice my thoughts too openly.

‘Well, now you know that teachers can be tall
also,’ he said wryly, forcing me to recognise my infantile comments. There was
a short knock and I was relieved by the interruption of a serving girl who had
entered the room.

‘Lilah, you must be very tired and I have
business to attend to now so we will talk more in the morning. Irene, show this
girl to her room then
find
Gabriel. Tell him to see me
at once.’

‘He has left the castle, Master. He said to
tell you he won’t be back till morning.’

Lewis gave an exasperated sigh and I was
surprised that my new friend disappeared to go somewhere without a goodbye, and
more so that he had left me here alone. I had to assume that there was
something more pressing to attend to.

Lewis saw my expression. ‘You will have to get
used to Gabriel. He is prone to whim.’ He then turned his back to me and headed
toward his desk, waving his hand to dismiss us both. I wanted to know so much
more, but tiredness suddenly
overcome
me and I was
taken to a room on the top floor. It was larger than any room at the monastery
and everything a lady could want seemed contained in this chamber. There was a
velvet-covered lounge near tall windows, silver
hair brushes
and complexion paints. A closet was filled with colourful dresses that appeared
to be my sizing. The bed was covered in white lace and high from the floor.

‘Will there be anything else, Mistress? Would
you like some supper?’

I remembered the empty kitchen and graciously
declined. I did not want this poor girl working in the dead of the night. It
felt odd
that only days
before I had been serving
others.

She nodded her head to leave.

‘Irene…wait!’

She looked up warily.

‘Would you sit with me a moment?’

The girl hesitated, looking uncomfortable.

‘Tell me about this place… I have been told
very little about the building or its owner.’

Irene told me that the castle was several
hundred years old, that she had been born
there
, her
mother serving Lewis before her. She had no idea how old he was and seemed
reluctant to give too much away. It was clear she was loyal. She said Lewis was
a fair master but I sensed much fear when she said his name out loud. Her
thoughts came to me in steady streams. She was wondering if she had said too
much, and though I was kind, she was looking forward to
sleeping
as she had to wake early.