Little Rainbows (10 page)

“And that’s the reason for the waterproofs. I get it now. It sounded like a strange suggestion on a glorious day like this.”

“Oh yes, you’ll get wet. And as much as I would love to see…” What was wrong with him? He couldn’t say things like that, shouldn’t even been thinking them.

“As much as you would love to see what, Jason?”

Was she teasing him? Did she know what he’d wanted to say? He hesitated.

“See me in a wet shirt? I bet you would.”

Heather’s sudden playfulness took him by surprise. “Well, what can I say? I’m only human. And you are rather beautiful.” Had he gone too far?

Her grin reappeared. “Interesting idea. We’ll see.”

He pulled the car over and parked, relieved to see that despite the beautiful day, they would have the place to themselves for now. He wrapped his arm around Heather after he’d helped her out of the car. They turned toward the sea and as if on cue, a huge column of water shot up into the air. He heard Heather’s gasp and wasn’t surprised. From where they were standing, it looked as if the water had come through solid ground.

The water disappeared as suddenly as it had shown itself.

“Jason, that was…wow. You’re right. There are no words to do the sight justice.”

Power surged like heat through Jason’s veins at the delight and wonder in Heather’s eyes, making his heart pump faster and causing warmth to spread throughout his body.

“Come. It’s even better when you’re close. Better put on your coat though if you want to stay dry. There’ll be another one soon.”

Coats on, he put his arm back around her and pulled her closer. Touching her felt too good to let an opportunity slip. And she wasn’t trying to get away. In fact, she leaned in to him. If he could get her to put her own arm around him…
Small steps,
he reminded himself,
small steps. Don’t scare her off again. You’ve already got more than you thought you would. Don’t bloody ruin it.

As he led her toward the hole, he explained the set up to her. “This passage”—he pointed at the two sloping stone walls on either side of them—“is part of a monument that was erected here about ten years ago.” He stared ahead at the gate they were approaching. “The fencing is from the same time. Before then, the only thing here was the hole itself. After one too many tragedies, well… Let’s just say it is now a lot harder to fall into the hole, either by accident or on purpose.”

Heather looked shocked.

“You mean people actually… No, don’t tell me. I don’t think I want to know.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry, my big mouth ran away with me.”
His stupid big mouth
. Would he ever learn when to shut the fuck up? “Here is the blowhole. Have a look, and tell me it isn’t amazing.”

Heather’s breath caught as she looked down into the hole. She’d expected to see water, flowing in and out. What she saw, at least ten meters below didn’t resemble the sea at all.

“That’s water? It doesn’t look like water at all. It’s more like, I don’t know, liquid metal? Mercury?”

It was beautiful, amazing. She had never seen anything close to the miraculous sight in front of her. Heather used her phone to take a few pictures, in the hope they would do the beauty justice.

“I’ve no idea why it looks like that, Heather. I’m sure there’s an explanation for it, I haven’t a clue what it might be.”

A shudder went through her. “See how the water down there appears to be solid? That’s how I feel sometimes. I appear strong to anyone who doesn’t know me. But it only takes a tiny bit of pressure to make me dissolve, only a small push to cause an explosion.”

As if it had heard her words, the sea took that moment to send another spray of water into the air. She relaxed into Jason’s arms as he pulled her back tight against his body.

“I’ll be here, Heather, if you let me. Whenever you dissolve, the moment you explode. I’ll be the friend ready to support you, to stop you from sinking.”

As the water drenched them, Heather drank in his words.

“I’ll catch the pieces and put them back together when you blow apart. I promise I won’t let you down again.”

She hadn’t known it, but she needed to hear those words. For the first time in eighteen months, she didn’t feel alone.

“Thank you. I need a friend. I’m grateful it’s you.”

She wasn’t sure what the combination of joy and disappointment on his face meant but was too caught up in her own thoughts to give it much attention.

“Surely you have friends, Heather. Don’t tell me there’s nobody in your life.”

“Of course I have friends.”

She leaned back against his solid chest and thought. Maybe now would be a good time to open up and share some of the past eighteen months.

“I sort of pushed people away after Darren died. All my friends had been his as well. I found being alone much easier than spending time with mutual friends.”

It had been the perfect solution in the short term. By the time she’d realized how alone it left her, she’d felt so ashamed of pushing those people away, of ignoring their offers of support, that she couldn’t bring herself to contact them again.

“I only now realize a lot of those people I’ve ignored for so long will probably be here for your weekend.” She turned around in his arms and looked up into his face. “Is that going to complicate things for you?”

His eyes were warm and completely focused on her face. She wanted to let herself fall into those eyes, forget about the world for just a few minutes.

“Not for me. Won’t it be difficult for you though?”

Another thing she hadn’t thought through. “No. I think it will be fine. Most of them will be happy to see me out and about again. The one or two who resent me after my confinement…” She laughed. “What a word, confinement. Anyway, if some of them are upset with me, they weren’t the friends I took them for. And”—she wanted to make it sound teasing but could hear the pleading note in her voice—“didn’t you say you’d be there to catch me when I fall?”

She couldn’t detect any teasing in Jason’s voice when he answered. His face was warm and solid, his voice reassuring.

“And I meant it. I’ll hold you together, no matter what happens.”

“Thank you.” She got on her toes and kissed his cheek. “You’ve no idea how much that means to me.”

And neither did I
.

The thought took her by surprise. She hadn’t known how much she needed a friend, someone she could trust. She’d also been unaware how much she craved this physical contact, someone to hold her. The urge she’d felt, just a moment ago, to kiss his mouth instead of his cheek, to open her lips while kissing him, confused her. Only twenty-four hours ago she’d been certain she would never be able to move beyond Darren. And now, if she was honest, all she wanted was Jason. If she could, she’d have Darren back in a flash. But Darren was gone, for good. And Jason… He made her feel again. He’d reminded her she had a life to live. Just being near him made her feel things she hadn’t felt in a long time. When his voice changed, the lower, demanding tone made her body want to do things she’d never done for anyone except Darren.

“Jason, I need a moment to think. Do you mind if I walk on my own for a while?”

“Are you okay? Having second thoughts about staying?”

She hated she’d made him worry again, as the look on his face clearly showed. “I’m fine and I do want to stay. I just need to sort some things out in my head. It won’t take long. I promise.” Maybe if she tried to joke about it. “It’s hard thinking straight while your arms are wrapped around me.”

His smile was weak as he released her, but at least it had been there.

“Take all the time you need, beautiful. I’ll wait here.”

Heather slowly walked away from the monument and Jason, thoughts flying through her head. When she saw a large, flat rock close to the end of the cliff, she sat down and stared out over the ocean. Looking at the waves, rolling in with force, despite the almost wind-free summer’s day, she allowed her mind to go where it wanted, hoping it would lead to the answers she needed.

Darren her lover, Dom and husband had been her life, her everything for so long. Jason, the man she’d secretly lusted for twenty years ago, who had now somehow managed to resurrect her body from the grave she’d sent it to when Darren died, could be someone in her life. She knew what her body wanted. She could feel it yearning for contact, touches, heat, intimacy. If she gave in to the need, would her heart be able to cope, would her head?

“Tell me what to do, Darren. You always knew what was best for me. I need your advice now.”

Grateful Jason couldn’t possibly have heard her words over the sound of the waves, she turned and looked back at the blowhole where he stood, patiently waiting for her. Another column of water shot up from the hole and for a moment Jason was surrounded by hundreds of tiny rainbows, illuminating him as if he was a pot of gold, waiting to be found.

Thank you, Darren.

Relieved and with a smile on her face, Heather walked back to the man who’d done what she’d imagined impossible. He’d brought her back to life.

Chapter Nine

Jason watched as she walked back to him. It wasn’t easy to be sure, but he thought he saw a smile on her face. He’d been worried. He could admit it to himself. Even as she’d told him she didn’t have second thoughts, he’d been sure her next words would tell him she wanted to leave after all. He didn’t want her to go, needed her to stay. It was as if he’d found his lifebuoy, was clinging on for dear life while it was trying to pull away from him.

“Are you okay?” He took her hand and looked into her eyes, searching for but not finding any sign of fear or insecurity. Instead he saw relief, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Better than okay, Jason. Thank you for bringing me here. This place is magical. It helped me put a new perspective on a few things I’ve been worrying about.”

She got on her toes and looked from his mouth to his cheek and back again before kissing him on the lips.

Need shot through him and he wrapped his arms around her as he pushed his mouth against hers, only to pull back again.
Damn
. Could the timing be any worse? He had Heather where he wanted her, in his arms, lips touching, and of course now several cars pulled up by the side of the road. As he lifted his head, he saw families with hordes of children moving to where they were standing.

“Let’s go. There’s another, hopefully quieter, place I want to show you.”

It satisfied him on a deep level to see Heather look as disappointed as he felt. The thought that this interruption might be a sign—that maybe they weren’t meant to be together—shot through his head before he ruthlessly pushed it down again. He would not allow himself to create problems where none existed. It wasn’t as if they didn’t have enough issues to overcome between the two of them.

The lighthouse was only a few miles away, on one of the most western points of Ireland. As he’d hoped, they were on their own. Not many people ventured this far. Taking a blanket from the boot of his car, and with his arm once again around her, he walked Heather as close to the edge of the cliff as he dared.

“Let’s sit here and enjoy the view.”

Jason spread the blanket on the grass. His heart skipped a beat when Heather sat down close beside him. Nothing could convince him she hadn’t meant for their legs to touch.

“This place is amazing.”

A smile as bright as the sun shining down on them lit up Heather’s face. The setting was perfect. A calm and warm day, blue skies and hardly any wind, and yet the ocean appeared wild. They were alone, the peace and quiet only interrupted by the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. Just him, Heather and the sea, again.

“Remember the last time it was just us and the sea, Heather?”

“In Wexford? Yes, I do. That was different though.”

His mind traveled back. He couldn’t remember why, but Heather and he had been alone that day. The walk on the beach had been delightful, as had lying down in the sand for a rest. They’d had no intention of falling asleep, but the combination of warm sunshine and soft sand had been too much for both of them. When they’d woken up, they’d found themselves on a sandbank of sorts, surrounded by water. Not in any danger of ending up in the sea, thankfully, but with no way back to the rest of the beach without getting soaked. They’d sat there together for hours, looking at the sea, talking and, eventually, kissing.

“That kiss.” Heather paused. “Those hours with you in the middle of the sea… It was the only time during that summer I thought I might have made a mistake when I decided not to pursue you.” She smiled. “I didn’t believe I could give Moira competition when it came to you, but that afternoon I thought maybe I should have tried.”

“I know. I felt the same.” And he could still kick himself that he’d been too much of a coward to just drop Moira and hang on to Heather. “It felt right when I kissed you. Felt right in a way it never did with Moira.”

Jason looked at Heather and saw in her eyes the same hunger he knew had to be shining out of his.

He moved closer, giving her plenty of time to stop him or pull away. She didn’t. Just as slowly she moved closer to him. Her teeth nibbled on her bottom lip, her gaze jumped from his mouth to his eyes and back again, but she didn’t try to prevent what was about to happen.

Mouth against mouth. Soft lips moving over his, finding every corner of his mouth. A small sigh and her lips were caressing his again. Her hand touched his cheek, stroking as her lips continued their investigation.

“Jason.” His name was a breath against his lips, her slightly open mouth an invitation. No hurry, no rush, no force. Just lips stroking lips, tongues finding each other, touching, teasing, playing.

Without removing his mouth from Heather’s, Jason pushed her until she was flat on her back. Leaning over her, he pulled away and drank in her beautiful features—her face relaxed, her eyes open and smiling at him, her lips parted. He traced his fingers over her skin, her lips, her ears. So soft. She pushed her face into his hand, searching for his touch, asking him for more. He needed to taste her again. His mouth on hers, her tongue against his. His hand in her hair, on her face. Her hand on his neck. This was perfect, it was too much and it wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted more.