Live Free and Love (8 page)

“You really love him, don’t you?” Janine asked her.

“Yes I do, so much. I just hope that the love I have for him is enough to get him back.”

Chapter 8

“Let love and faithfulness in and they will never leave.”

The next few weeks were a blurry haze for Kristina. She still hadn’t heard from Danny directly, but had managed to find out that he had in fact reported for duty a week ago.

She felt a little better knowing that he was okay, but would have much preferred the information to come from him.

She had finished her story for Mr. Cooley, and turned it in soon after she got home. She had wanted to be finished with it and move on from the piece.

Mr. Cooley was extremely happy with the reviews that he was receiving on the story. As promised, she had received her promotion, and now had a new office and title.

She should have been on cloud nine. But it seemed like everyone around her was happier for her than she was for herself.

The one person she wanted to talk to about it, the one person she wanted to celebrate with refused to talk to her, and she had no one to blame but herself.

Kristina leaned back in her office chair and looked out at downtown Philadelphia. Lead Journalist came with a lot of privileges. Pay raise, corner office, expense account.

The one thing it didn’t come with was a way to fill the emptiness in her life. What good was success if you couldn’t share it with the person you loved?

Kristina heard a light tap on her office door and turned toward it.

“Come in.”

“Ms. Lead Journalist, I was wondering if you were available for dinner,” Janine said.

“For my dearest friend, but of course,” Kristina said, matching Janine’s enthusiasm.

She grabbed her purse and keys . Turning off the lights, they went downstairs and caught a cab to one of the Italian restaurants that they went to all the time.

They walked in and one of the waitresses waved at them and called them over. The smell of garlic bread was thick in the restaurant; it was served at every table as people waited for their food.

Kristina thought the smell was a bit much, but tried to ignore it as she walked toward their favorite table in the back. As they sat down, Janine looked at her with concern in her eyes.

“Are you okay, girl? You don’t look so well.”

“Yeah, I’m…” Kristina stopped to swallow hard. “I’m fine. The smell of the garlic is a little much.”

Janine looked at her closely. She watched as Kristina’s face broke out in a slight sweat, watched as she swallowed over and over, as if she was trying to keep something down.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” she asked.

“Of course I’m sure, I just had my per—” Kristina paused as she thought about what she had been about to say.

As she realized when her last one was, she started to look nervous. Janine watched as the different emotions played across her friends face.

Kristina looked at her. “My last one was a week before I went to Humble. I hadn’t even noticed that I hadn’t had one because of everything that happened. Oh my God, Janine, I can’t be pregnant, not now.”

“Well, let’s not panic. Let’s go buy a test and make sure. We’re not going to panic over nothing.”

Both women grabbed their purses, dinner now the furthest thing from their minds. They caught a cab to the drug store. Kristina grabbed almost every test they sold and ignored the look of the cashier who checked her out. She wanted to be sure. She didn’t care what anyone thought.

When the young girl looked like she was going to ask about all the tests, Janine stopped her. “Mind your business, girl.” She grabbed the bag and followed Kristina out of the store.

It was a fifteen minute walk to Kristina’s apartment. The entire time, Kristina accepted water after water from Janine. By the time she reached home she had to pee so badly. She ran to the restroom.

“Don’t forget one of the tests,” Janine yelled after her. Kristina stopped and turned. Janine threw her one. Catching it, she turned and finished her run to the bathroom.

They spent the next hour and a half in the same routine. Kristina would drink water, accept a test from Janine, and run to the bathroom.

“I don’t want to look at any of the results until I’m done taking all of them,” she told Janine, who had put on the kitchen gloves to transport the tests to the bar in Kristina’s kitchen.

One by one the tests came out of the bathroom, until there was a long line of them on the bar.

“Last one,” Janine informed her.

“I don’t have to pee anymore. In fact if I ever pee again it will be too soon,” Kristina said, holding a bottle of water in her hand.

“Well, I think we have enough to go off of. Are you ready?” Janine asked her, looking expectantly at Kristina.

“As I’ll ever be.” Kristina got up and walked in the direction of the counter. Before she got there, she veered in the direction of the bathroom. Janine laughed and tossed her the last test.

****

“I’ve heard that there can be, like, defective tests shipped to a store. Maybe you got a bad batch,” Janine said.

Kristina was bent over looking at each test; Janine’s face was right next to hers. She had started at the first one and was now looking at the twenty seventh test she had bought. She sat down in shocked silence.

There could be no mistake; she had before her twenty seven positive results. She was pregnant.

She was going to be a mother. “How did I let this happen?”

“You guys didn’t use protection?” Janine asked her.

“No, not even once. It was always like spur of the moment type of stuff. Only the last time was planned, and even then I didn’t think about protection.”

Kristina put her head down, her hair falling around her shoulders. “He may be halfway across the world by now. Even if he wasn’t, he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“I’m pretty sure he would want to know something this important, even if he’s mad at you. He would want to know he’s going to be a father; Kris, you’ve got to tell him,” Janine said, sitting down on the couch.

“I know, but how? I don’t know how to get in touch with him,” Kristina said.

“How about this: find a doctor and make an appointment. Shit, at least find out how far along you are, get a due date. Once you have all that, we’ll find him and tell him.”

“We?”

“Yes, I said we. You’re my best friend, so I’m going to help you do this.”

Getting up, Janine walked over to Kristina and gave her a hug. “Congratulations, Kris! I’m so happy for you! Now, since you can’t drink anymore, let’s go get some ice cream and drown it in chocolate syrup to celebrate.”

Kristina’s mouth watered at the mention of ice cream. “Let me dispose of these tests first and then we can go.”

“Wipe that counter, too. That’s pee up there.” They both laughed as Kristina brought the trash can toward the counter.

****

“So, what did he say?” Janine asked Kristina as she came out of the doctor’s office.

“I’m ten weeks, he said. My due date is the sixth of January.”

“This is so exciting! I can’t wait till she gets here. I’m going to spoil her so much!”

Kristina watched as her friend got more and more excited. She had to admit that she was excited too, but she would be more excited if she could tell the father of her child that he even had a child on the way.

Where are you, Danny?
she thought.

****

Danny sat in his bunk. He had been called back to active duty three weeks ago. His commander had cut him a break and had allowed him to enroll in Military Police training instead of sending him back overseas. It was hard work, but he wasn’t a stranger to that. It had also been weeks since he had spoken to Kristina.

He missed her more and more every day. He had picked up his phone a number of times to call her, but always ended up hanging up before the call could be completed.

He felt like an idiot. His anger had got the best of him when he had heard her on the phone. He had heard her telling him that she wasn’t going to use him on the story, but the hurt he felt, the anger coursing through him hadn’t allowed him to listen.

He had returned to the hotel room and gathered his things, then taken a cab back to the base. He had left her the rental car so she could get back to the airport.

All he could think about was how he had opened himself up to her, trusted her with information he hadn’t told anyone. He felt betrayed.

In the weeks that had passed since, he had a chance to think things through. He knew that he should have given her a chance to explain herself, let her at least tell her side of the story.

He longed to hold her in his arms one more time. To make love to her again. He loved her still, and craved her.

Getting up he walked to the window and watched a few men working out. He heaved a deep breath. Maybe one day he would get over himself and call her, tell her he was sorry and that he missed her.

****

“Mr. Cooley, I understand sir, but it’s something that I think I need to do.”

Kristina sat in her boss’s office, trying to get him to grant her vacation time. He was acting like he was being asked to cut off his left arm.

“Kristina, you just got back,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re needed.”

“Sir, but if you remember, I was gone on assignment. It wasn’t a vacation for me. I haven’t taken a day off since I started working here. I think I deserve some time off. You have seven other journalists that are really good at their jobs. I know that because you only hire the best.”

She figured that if she stroked his ego, he would agree. They went back and forth on the issue for about another ten minutes before the door opened and Janine walked in.

“Janine, I’m with one of my employees. May I ask why you’re in my office?” Cooley said, his lips puckering as they always did when he talked to her.

“Cooley, it’s so nice to see you’re still being an asshole. How about you try not being one and give her the damn time off she’s requesting?”

It sounded as if he was choking on his own spit as he searched for something to say. Kristina looked at her friend and fought not to smile.

“I don’t use my position to my own advantage much, and normally I let you handle and deal with your employees how you see fit, but don’t forget who hired you, Cooley. All she’s asking for is a month off, damn it.” With that, Janine turned on her heel and walked out the office. When she got to the door, she winked at Kristina.

Looking at Mr. Cooley, Kristina almost laughed. His face was so red; she thought it would explode at any time.

“Well, it looks like my mind has been made up for me. One month, Kristina, then I want you back here ready to work. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir, it is.” She stood and walked from the office, giggling under her breath as Cooley cursed Janine’s very soul.

Janine was in her office when she got there.

“You know you didn’t have to do that,” Kristina told her, smiling. “I was wearing him down.”

“Hey, what good is being senior partner of this God-forsaken publishing firm if I can’t use my authority for anything? Besides, I can’t stand him. He’s mad because he wanted the job I have. Too bad I’m so much better than him,” Janine said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Oh my God, you’re so full of it,” Kristina said, laughing.

“I know, right? So when does your leave start?”

“Right now; let’s go.”

****

“I don’t even know how to find him. It’s not like I can call the military and ask. They won’t just tell me,” Kristina said to Janine.

“Try to call him again. Only this time tell him that you’re hurt or something.” At Kristina’s look, she said, “What, it will get him to call you back, right? It serves him right for ignoring your phone calls this long.”

“I know about that. It seems harsh,” Kristina said.

“Well do you have any other ideas?”

“Well, no.” She exhaled loudly. “Alright, I’ll do it, but if he doesn’t call back I’m going to punch you for suggesting it,” Kristina said.

Janine just hunched her shoulders and took a sip of the wine she was drinking.

Kristina picked up her phone and dialed Danny’s number. As usual, it went to voicemail.

Instead of hanging up, she waited until she could leave a message.

“Danny, its Kristina. I’m at the hospital and I need you to call me please,” she said, trying to sound urgent.

She hung up without saying another word, feeling horrible for what she had just done. She didn’t want to worry him for no reason.

She looked over at Janine and raised her eyebrows.

“Now we wait,” Janine said.

Kristina sat back and tried to watch the television. Her eyes kept straying to her phone, wanting it to ring so badly. She wanted to hear his voice, to share her news with him.