Live Free and Love (3 page)

“Oh um, yeah, that would be great.”

He nodded and pointed toward a picnic area set up in front of a BBQ stand. They walked together and sat down.

“It’s nice to see you, Tina. You look really good.”

“Thanks,” she told him as they sat down.

They settled into silence, each not knowing what to say to the other. It was Danny that finally spoke.

“Why is it that you feel we’re not friends anymore?”

She looked at him and studied his face before she answered.

“Danny, we haven’t spoken in three years.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I just assumed you moved on.”

She lowered her eyes to the table.

“Tina, it was never supposed to be that way… just life got in the way.”

“I tried contacting you. You never responded, not once.”

He was quiet for a while. “I don’t have a good reason for that, so I won’t make one up. All I can say is I’m sorry.”

“I missed you. I missed talking to you, there were so many times when something happened, that I wanted to call you or message you. I felt like my best friend was snatched away from me,” Kristina said, looking at him.

“So tell me now,” he said simply.

“What?”

“Tell me now. I have a lot of making up to do,” he said.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Start where we left off. I want you to tell me everything.”

The day was spent with Kristina telling Danny about the last three years. He was surprised how good he felt , simply listening to her talk about her accomplishments and her life.

“It’s almost time for the fireworks. How about it, for old times’ sake?” Danny asked her.

“What the hell, let’s go.”

The pair joined the crowd of people walking in the direction of the park. Danny looked to his left, where Kristina walked beside him.

She was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her hair cascaded down her back in long brown waves. She had a certain light to her green eyes that made you smile. He had missed her, but the Marine Corp had become his life. He couldn’t afford distractions on the battlefield. That’s what got men killed.

He had to stay focused, and when he thought about Kristina his focus failed him. Cutting contact with her was one of the hardest things he had done in his life, but he would not do it again.

Lance Corporal Danny Knight was officially off-duty, and if being with Kristina even for a short while was his reward for his service, being home was starting to look better and better.

The first firework went off and lit the sky bright with colors. Children oohed and ahhed at the flashes of light. Everyone had their faces to the sky as, with pop after pop, more fireworks shot into the sky.

Everyone was enjoying themselves, but Danny was in hell.

As the first firework sounded, he was back in in Afghanistan. He was clutching his rifle, as mortars threw shrapnel all around him. Every new
crack! Boom!
took him back further and further into the hellhole he barely climbed out of.

No one, not even Kristina, noticed the drops of sweat forming at his brow. No one noticed his hands clenched at his sides. His heartbeat roared in his ears.

Danny shut his eyes and tried to block it, but the harder he tried, more sounds, more booms, more fireworks lit the sky.

Danny sank to his knees, the memories too much for him. The images of what he had done, what he had no choice but to do, stood boldly in the front of his mind.

His vision was blurred when he opened his eyes. Everything sounded so far away. He couldn’t focus on any one thing. It was all too much for him.

All the people, all the sounds, ran together. He had to get out of there.

****

Kristina now remembered why she loved this part of the night. The colors and wonder always were her favorite part. The display was well under way. Kristina turned to Danny to see how he was enjoying the show.

“Oh my God, Danny, are you okay?” The sight of the man down on his knees shocked her.

What the hell happened?
she thought to herself.

Bending to his level, she saw his shirt was damn near soaked with sweat. “Danny, are you okay?” she asked again.

It took a second for his eyes to focus on her. “I need to get out of here, now.”

She didn’t need to be told again. The haunted look in his eyes let her know something had gone wrong.

Kristina helped him up just as the finale began. A couple people gave them strange looks, but she didn’t care.

Danny was shaking like a leaf and seemed so far away.

She didn’t know what the hell was going on, but she knew she had to help him.

“Danny I don’t know where I’m going.” Kristina looked over at him as she drove. When he didn’t answer, she said his name again. “Danny!”

He looked at her as if confused. He blinked a couple of times before speaking.

“Um… what did you say?”

Kristina didn’t know what was going on but she was worried about him. When they’d gotten into the car, he had been a thousand miles away.

“I don’t know where I’m going. You have to tell me where to take you,” she said, concern lacing her voice.

“I’m staying in the apartments behind the old bakery. You can take me there.”

His voice was so quiet that she barely heard him speak.

“Danny, are you sure you’re okay?”

He didn’t answer right away. He just sat and stared out the window as she drove. “I’m fine, Tina,” he said after a while.

Kristina wasn’t so sure, but she decided to not press the issue.

Ten minutes later she pulled up to his apartment. Danny stared at his hands. He didn’t make a move to get out of the car. “Would you like me to come up?” she asked softly

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll be fine,” he said, opening the car door.

It took Kristina less than a minute to get out of the car and follow behind him.

“I told you didn’t have to come,” he said without turning.

“I know that.”

Danny opened the door and went inside. Kristina watched as he went to his kitchen and straight for the bottle of liquor that sat on the counter.

He didn’t spare a thought for a glass. The bottle went straight to his lips. He took a long pull and began walking to the back of the apartment.

Kristina didn’t know if she should follow or not, but decided to go anyway.

Danny was sitting on the bed with his head bent. The bottle dangled from his fingerprints between his legs.

“Danny, what happened?” she asked quietly.

I’m sorry you had to see that, Tina,” he said. He took another long pull from the bottle. “I… didn’t mean…” he paused, his eyes taking on that haunted look again. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean for you to see that,” he finished.

Kristina came and knelt before him on the floor. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” He put his head down. “None of it’s okay.” His voice started to rise he looked past her and continued. “None of them had to die, it didn’t have to be that way.” Tears were streaming down his eyes when he looked at her. “I didn’t mean to. I had no choice.”

The sob that rocked his chest broke her heart. Kristina watched as the best friend she had in the world, the one who was always strong for her when she couldn’t be, crumbled before her eyes.

A raw pain came out in choked sobs. The sound held so much misery.

Kristina put her arms around him as he cried. He spoke here and there, but not to her. He spoke to some unseen person, asking over and over ‘why?’

“What happened to you over there?” she said, more to herself than anything. “What the hell happened to you?”

She took the bottle from him and sat it on the dresser. Leading him to the bed, Kristina gave him the strength he given her when she needed him to.

She held him, without judgment or criticism.

Danny fell into a fitful rest a little while later.

Kristina watched him sleep, unable to make herself leave.

Her heart bled for this man. Whatever had happened to him overseas had followed him here. She didn’t know how she would do it, but she would be there for him.

“It’s my turn to take care of you,” she said to his sleeping form, before closing her eyes and finding sleep herself.

Chapter 4

"Where there is love, there is no darkness."

Kristina barely slept throughout the night. She was awakened by Danny crying out in his sleep. She would hold him tighter and wait for the episode to pass.

She couldn’t imagine what the man was going through, but whatever it was it was taking a toll on him.

Kristina rolled over and looked at the clock Danny had on his bedside. It read seven thirty. She stretched and turned back to where Danny slept.

It was the first time since he fell asleep that his face was relaxed, and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Despite what had happened last night, it felt good to be so close to him after so long.

Talking to him yesterday had given her the opportunity to tell him a little of how she felt being away from him for so long.

She felt a weight had been lifted, and now their friendship could move forward. Sitting up slightly, Kristina looked around her. There wasn’t much furniture in the room.

A desk sat in the corner, covered with paper and empty alcohol bottles. Besides a chair sitting next to the desk, the bed was the only other object in the room.

No art adorned the walls, no curtains covered the windows.

Kristina slipped from the bed quietly and walked out of the room. The rest of the apartment had the same sparse decoration.

There was no life in the apartment, just basic necessities.

Danny was usually a neat person from what she could remember, but quick glances around her showed her either he had missed a couple days of cleaning or no longer cared. Either way, the place was a mess.

Walking to the fridge, Kristina wasn’t surprised to see it empty. What she did see was more Ketel One bottles. Whatever he was dealing with, it seemed he was drowning in alcohol.

She wanted to know what demons Danny was fighting. What could have possibly happened to him that affected him this way?

“If you’re looking for food, you’re gonna be disappointed here.”

Kristina closed the door to fridge to see Danny standing in the hallway, watching her.

“I see that. Do you eat?” she asked.

“When I need to. I’m surprised that you’re still here.”

“Yeah, I just woke up.”

Danny’s eyes avoided hers as he spoke. “Um… I’m sorry you had to see that last night. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“It’s okay; it’s the least I could do to stay. I mean, how many nights did I intrude on you? It’s okay, really,” she said, looking at him.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it in total disarray. She smiled at him. He looked adorable with signs of sleep still so apparent.

“How about you get cleaned up and I’ll take you to breakfast. We sure aren’t gonna get full off of what you have here.”

Danny hesitated only a moment before he agreed.

“I need to get my car.”

“We can swing by the park after breakfast,” she told him.

A short while later, they were on their way to Lucy’s. It was a restaurant they were familiar with from their childhood.

Kristina remembered many afternoons spent there. Danny would come and watch her bus tables and try to get freebies from her.

Pulling up to the diner, Kristina shut the engine off. She turned to Danny, who hadn’t said a word the entire ride.

“Hey, earth to Danny,” she said softly. When he glanced at her she asked, “Are you okay?”

“Right as rain,” he said with false enthusiasm.

She knew the smile on his face was a fake one, but she decided to leave it for now. She didn’t want to spoil the morning by giving him the third degree.

After breakfast, Kristina took Danny to get his car. She couldn’t help but to think back to last night. What had sent Danny off the edge? They had been enjoying themselves the entire afternoon. She had laughed more in that short time than she had in a while. She was sure he had enjoyed himself as well. She just didn’t understand any of it. She had more questions about Danny now than she had answers.

Kristina watched as he got in his car and pulled off. She wondered how she could get him to open up and talk to her. She didn’t know if she would have all the answers if he did, but holding all that in couldn’t be good either.

Thinking about it, she drove back to her hotel room, showered, and sat down on the bed to relax.

Her phone rang not even five minutes later.

“You have impeccable timing, Janine,” she said.

“Don’t I know it. So…?” she said, letting the question hang in the air.