Live In Position (54 page)

I pulled back.

"What?" I fought the smile forming.

"You heard me." His eyes scanned my body. "Do you know how hard this makes me?"

"What?" My eyes widened.

He grinned slyly.

"Cat Woman is a person favorite. Did you know that?" he examined my face as I shook my head.

He grabbed the mask and brought it up to my head.

"Please?" His eyes were intense.

I would never have been able to fight him. Not with the way he was looking at me. I slid the mask back on. He smiled large.

"Where’
s the rest, the gloves, shoes?"

The laugh I'd been holding back erupted out of my mouth. I couldn't help it. He was like a teenage boy in a wet dream. He found the items without my help and practically rushed them back onto me.

"You know I was looking forward to taking this outfit off, not putting it back on." I giggled.

His mouth captured mine. The kiss seared through me. His hands moved down over the suit, teasing me. I wanted to feel his bare fingertips on my skin, not through the material. When he reached my thighs, he dipped down and lifted me around his waist.

"Don't worry, it won't be on long." A boyish smile spread across his mouth.

This was the night I tapped into the inner teenage geek that had been buried deep inside of Doctor Collin Bishop. Said teenager lived out his fantasy and made sure I kept the costume hanging in the closet, for the 'next time'.

Two days passed by and Connor was going in for his bypass surgery this afternoon. I promised to meet Collin at the hospital after I took Victoria to school. We talked briefly about what was going to happen today with her grandfather. I only told her about what I thought she would be able to process at her age. She seemed to be in high spirits when I walked her to the school.

Back in the car I heard a sound and it took me a moment to figure it out that my purse was vibrating. I grabbed my cell from inside just as it stopped vibrating. Looking at the screen I realized I had five missed calls; one from Rand, one from my father, and three from an unknown number. There were three voicemail messages. I hit the number one and then talk before pulling away from St. John's School.

My first message was from my father returning my call, the second was Rand wanting to meet for lunch today, and the third message made me drop the phone.

"Crap." I reached around the floor for the phone until I found it.

Pulling over to the curb I grabbed a pen from my purse and an envelope of a bill I had stuffed into my purse. I replayed the message and listened again.

"Miss Ashwood, this is Kevin Stark, I'm a publisher with Random House's children's division. I'm trying to contact you in regards to the manuscript we received. A, uh, 'Fin: A Mermaid's Journey'. I would like to work out a time that we could discuss your manuscript as well as representing you and your book. Please give me a call back."

Kevin Stark left his phone number and extension for me to get back to him. I was so excited, yet I knew it would have to wait. Connor was going into surgery soon and I told Collin I would be there. I pulled back out into traffic and drove toward the hospital.

My eagerness won the internal battle and I decided I would just call Mr. Stark to arrange a time to talk with him in more detail and without interruptions. I dialed the number.

"Mr. Stark's office," a nasally voice answered.

"Um, yes, I'm returning a call from Mr. Stark," she cut me off.

"Your name?" I pictured her sitting there with her legs crossed, a bored expression on her face, and a fingernail file in her hand.

"Sophia Ashwood."

"Hold please."

There was a click and then soft easy listening music filled my ear. I was close to the hospital and hoped that if he was available he would answer soon.

"Miss Ashwood?" This wasn't the nasally voice from earlier, this was deeper and male.

"Y-yes," I swallowed my nerves.

"I am so glad you got back with me. I've been trying to reach you for a couple of days now."

"I'm sorry there was a family emergency and I've been at the hospital."

"Oh, I apologize, are you available to speak or do you need a better time?"

"Could we set up a better time to talk? I could ensure all of my time and attention then." My stomach filled with butterflies.

"Of course, how about tomorrow at one in the afternoon, does that work for you?"

My head ran through what was going on tomorrow and I couldn't think of anything that would get in the way.

"Yes, that's perfect." We exchanged some brief information and then ended the call.

I had arrived at the hospital five minutes ago. Once my cell was back in my purse, I hurried to the ICU floor to find Collin.

The Bishop family sat around the waiting room quietly. No one spoke. Allison didn't even look up from her magazine when I walked toward the group. Larissa was sitting between Ilene and Juliette. I had to wonder how that awkward situation was working out.

"Sophia?" I spun at the sound of his relieved voice, "Thank you for coming."

"Of course I came." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close for a moment. Pulling back, he moved his arm to my waist.

"They'll be taking him within the next twenty minutes, so if you want to see him, I suggest you go back now." He addressed his family.

Ilene and Juliette both stood at the same time and then looked at one another. Ilene scowled. So a truce had not been drawn.

"I would like to have a moment with my husband, if you don't mind." Ilene took a step forward.

"I believe you mean ex-husband." Juliette quipped, stopping Ilene in her tracks.

Allison looked up from her magazine then with wide eyes.

"If you don't mind, I would like to see my fiancé for a moment alone, and then you can see him." Juliette brushed by Ilene's frozen form and walked through the doors.

Ilene lightly cleared her throat, straightened her shoulders, and trudged forward.

"Moth, er um, Ilene," Allison hissed. She didn't stop.

"Ilene," Larissa pleaded. She spun around on both of them.

"I was married to Connor for more years than Juliette has known him, we have three," she looked sternly at Allison, "three children, and just because a piece of paper says that all of that doesn't matter, does not mean I feel that way." She turned back toward the corridor and left the waiting room.

Collin reached out to grab her, but I pulled his arm down. He looked at me curiously. I just shook my head at him.

"Let her go," I whispered.

The surgery took a couple of hours to complete and then there was the hour of recovery time before he was moved back to his room and allowed visitors. Collin and I were the second pair to see him, after Ilene and Juliette.

His pasty white features had returned and my heart ached with worry. He assured us he was fine with a smile and a small nod, but I just felt so worried something was lingering out there.

Collin wanted to go out for a late lunch after leaving the hospital, so we decided to go somewhere nearby. The small café was within walking distance and it wasn't too cold, so we walked it. After we were seated and ordered, Collin dropped the news.

"Grace called about seeing Victoria," he looked at me apprehensively.

I only nodded and took a drink from my water glass, letting the cold liquid hydrate my suddenly dry mouth. I knew something had been lingering.

"She heard about my father, so she wanted to know if next Friday after school would be okay." His eyes studied my expressionless face.

After a few more moments of silence he got irritated.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?" I shrugged. "She has the right to see her, according to the judge, and it's your decision. Friday is fine." I drank my water again.

The waitress appeared with our food, but I'd suddenly lost my appetite. I hated that she still had access to her, even after all the crap she'd done.

"You know your opinion matters," his tone still held annoyance with my lack of verbalization.

I shrugged and pushed my food around with my fork.

"Sophia, look at me." I raised my head. "Please tell me what you are thinking."

"I think she shouldn't be allowed to see her at all, but that's not my choice." I angrily shoved a bite into my mouth. He sighed.

"I agree, but there isn't anything I can do about it."

"Did I say there was?"

"No, but I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"Because Grace is her mother, because I let her back into Victoria and my life for a period of time, and because I wish you were her 'real' mother."

My fork froze halfway to my mouth. I stared at him.

"Let's get married this weekend," he blurted.

I choked on nothing. "Are you insane?"

He didn't appreciate my response.

"Why not? Do you plan on not being with me, with us?" He sat back roughly in his chair.

"I didn't say that." I defended with a groan. "Look, we haven't been together long and my parents don't even know …" I closed my mouth tightly.

"You haven't told your parents about me, about us?" His words were quiet, but it was definitely the quiet before the storm. The storm was already brewing in the green orbs narrowing in on me.

"It's just, I mean, I don't know how to tell my father without sounding like a whore and…"

"Being with me makes you a whore?" His voice rose.

"Shh," I hissed.

"Why can't you get pass the fact that you used to be my,
our
daughter's nanny? Is it that shameful for you?"

"I'm not ashamed of you." I dropped my fork to my plate.

"Well that's not how it seems." He countered. "You haven't told anyone about us, you won't marry me, and you would be devastated to have my child."

"That's not fair," I spat out. "If I had been, damn it Collin, you know that it was not good timing for a baby, nor is this a good time for us to get married." He opened his mouth to argue more, but I kept going.

"Your father just had surgery and will need rehabilitation, which will mean that all of you will have to help out with that. Then there is my book and –"

"What about your book?" His brow furrowed.

I froze. It seemed that I was really burying myself today.

"I was going to tell you tonight, after everything was handled with your father."

"Tell me what?"

"Random House called and wants to discuss representing me and my book." I was so nervous to say the words.

He tossed his napkin on the table and scooted his chair back.

"So, you don't tell your family about our relationship and you don't tell me about your book. Well, at least I see now why you won't marry me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" My anger was going to boil my insides raw soon.

"You'll leave me." His growl was low, but affirmative.

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you."

"So, you won't have book tours or travel you'll have to do?" He raised a brow at me.

"You travel all the time, why is it different for me?" I argued with a raised voice, people now looking at us.

"I'll always come back to you." He spoke softly. "There's a chance you won't."

"Have I ever given you a reason to think that?"

"Not until today." He stood, threw money on the table, and left me sitting there.

Stunned silent, I watched him move quickly out of the restaurant door. I dropped my head and felt the tears start to slip over my face. My eyes landed on the money he dropped on the table.

Now maybe it was irrational, maybe I was making too much out of it, but for me, in that moment, I had never felt more like a whore. The money felt the same as if he had left it on the nightstand of a hotel room. I threw my own money down before I left the restaurant.

I arrived back to the hospital, but instead of going inside I went straight to the car. With disgust building inside me, I sat in
his
car. More emotions of being
his
'kept woman' started to infiltrate my mind. I drove around Seattle trying to calm down. Finally I was able to get rid of the tears before I picked Victoria up from school.

The moment her eyes landed on me she asked what was wrong. I could only shake my head and help her into the car before driving us back to
his
house.

Once inside, I kept myself busy with laundry and cooking. Quicker than I had hoped, Victoria was getting ready for bed and I would be forced to face him. Then an idea hit me. While
Victoria brushed her teeth I ran to the bedroom,
his
bedroom, and swiftly went through my nighttime routine before returning to her room.

"How about a story?" I asked just as she was climbing into bed.