Living a Lie (38 page)

“She’d be like a dog with two balls if she knew we were locked out.”

Kitty stared at her.

“TAILS!”

she corrected.

“A dog with two TAILS … not a dog with two balls.”

Mildred wasn’t altogether convinced.

“He’d still have two balls though, wouldn’t he?” she declared indignantly.

“I mean… he wouldn’t be a dog if he didn’t have two balls, would he?”

“You’re out of your mind,” Kitty said, stemming the tide of laughter rising up inside her.

“Get up from there. Come on.” Sliding her arms under Mildred’s prostrate body, she tried unsuccessfully to sit her up.

“Get up, or you’ll catch your death of cold!” she demanded.

When Mildred appeared to be trying to help herself, Kitty gave an extra hard tug. Mildred jerked backwards, Kitty fell on top of her, and they both tumbled sideways. Something gave way beneath them and Kitty couldn’t believe her eyes.

“It’s open!” she cried.

“The front door’s open!”

“Well, I’m buggered!” Mildred shrieked, grabbing hold of Kitty. Soaked to the skin and balancing on her knees, Kitty couldn’t hold her weight. The pair of them fell in a heap on the mat, and laughed until they cried.

“We’re supposed to be ladies!” Kitty announced between bouts of laughter.

“I can hear Jack now…” Mimicking his voice she said, “Really, Kitty! This is no way for a lady to behave!”

The next-door neighbour didn’t think so either. Woken by the noise she was peeking out from behind her net curtains, horrified to see two grown women rolling about, engulfed in fits of laughter. Flinging open the bedroom window, she yelled into the driving rain, “SHOWING YOUR

KNICKERS!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

“

Kitty was mortified. Somehow she managed to get her aunt inside and close the door. Even harder was the effort to get her up the stairs, stripped off, dried down, put into her nightgown, and then into bed.

“I never knew you had it in you,” she chuckled as she tucked her in. Mildred, though, was sleeping like a light gone out.

The next morning was agony.

“Look at me!” Mildred wailed, staring in the kitchen mirror and putting out her mottled tongue.

“How can I get married looking like this?”

Taking her by the shoulders, Kitty led her back to the table.

“Drink this,” she said, fetching a glass of liver salts.

“And you’ll feel like fighting the world.”

Sip by sip, Mildred gingerly downed the entire contents. Taking a moment to recover, she regarded Kitty with some degree of envy.

“You look disgustingly healthy.”

“I don’t feel it,” Kitty confessed. In fact she felt as if she’d been put through the mincer.

After several cups of tea, they began to come alive.

“I’m going for a shower,” Kitty said.

“Then we’d best get you looking something like a bride.”

Upstairs she sat by the window, gathering her thoughts.

“A wedding for Mildred … a baby for Harry.” She smiled wistfully.

“Congratulations, Harry,” she murmured, “I hope you get the son you want.”

Just for the briefest moment her brown eyes grew bright with the threat of tears.

“Come on. Kitty!” she chided.

“This is not a day for tears.” Then she collected her toiletries and hurried to the bathroom.

This was Mildred’s day, and nothing must be allowed to spoil it.

Downstairs, Mildred collected the post. There were three congratulations cards, from people she had forgotten to ask; a red electricity bill which had already been paid;

two circulars; and a long grubby brown envelope with what looked like tea stains on the top left hand corner. The postmark showed that it had been posted in Liverpool.

“It’s from Georgie!”

Impatiently tapping her fingers on the kitchen table, Mildred debated as to whether she should show the letter to Kitty.

“I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that little minx isn’t coming after all,” she muttered.

“And Kitty will be so disappointed.”

Getting up from her chair she paced the room, occasionally glancing at the grubby brown envelope and tut ting with disgust.

“It would be just like her to change her mind at the last minute! That one doesn’t give a damn about Kitty, or she wouldn’t keep turning her life upside down.” With every word her own guilt lay heavy on her mind.

“Well, you can wait until after the wedding!” she decided, dropping the letter into the dresser drawer.

“I won’t let you spoil Kitty’s day, or mine!”

That done she threw the red bill and circulars into the pedal-bin, and took the congratulations cards to the lounge where she propped them up on the mantelpiece. Coming back to the kitchen, she paused to glance into the hall mirror.

“Buck up, Mildred,” she told her dishevelled image.

“It’s your wedding day.”

The next few hours were frantic. When at last they saw the car arrive, it was one last look in the mirror and an undignified rush down the path.

“I’m already late,” Mildred complained.

“Bride’s privilege,” Kitty said. The bemused driver smiled at her in the mirror, thinking if he was thirty years younger she wouldn’t get out of this car without promising him a date.

The wedding went smoothly. Mildred looked wonderful in her pink two-piece and little feathered hat. Her feet were comfortable too, in a pair of easy-fitting beige shoes with a neat little heel and fancy braiding round the edge.

Kitty looked stunning in a calf-length cream dress with sweetheart neckline and long tapered sleeves. Her dark hair was swept up and tied with a pink ribbon to match Mildred’s suit and she carried a smaller version of the bride’s bouquet a simple triangle of rose buds with a whisper of green fern.

The reception was held at a nearby conference centre, and everyone had an enjoyable time.

“I still haven’t seen Georgie,” Kitty told Mildred, taking her aside.

“Don’t worry,” her aunt urged.

“If she’s coming by train, it’s possible they’re running late, and if she’s travelling by car, she could well have got caught up in traffic. She’ll be here.” Relieved when she saw Jack coming towards them, she gently chided, “He’s looking for you. Have you been neglecting him again?”

As Kitty turned. Jack planted a kiss on her mouth.

“You look wonderful, darling,” he cooed.

“Star of the show.”

“Mildred’s the star of the show,” she reminded him. Jack had the most amazing talent for saying the wrong thing.

“Point taken,” he acknowledged, walking with her to the buffet table.

“Have you been trying to avoid me?”

“What makes you think that?” In fact she hadn’t.

“Because every time I turn round you’re gone,” he answered peevishly.

“I suppose you’re looking for himT Kitty swung round.

“Looking for who?” Her brown eyes flashed angrily.

She knew very well to whom he was referring.

“What’s his name? Harry Jenkins? Your old sweet346

heart? ” While he spoke his fists were clenched and there was a look of rage on his face.

“You’re wrong,” she answered soberly.

“I wasn’t looking for Harry. I thought I told you? His wife’s expecting a baby and not feeling too good. Otherwise they would have been here.” She had tried so hard not to think about Harry, and now Jack had raised the issue, tainting it with jealousy.

“You don’t like him, do you?” she asked pointedly.

“I

sensed that from the first. “

Jack’s quick smile covered his real feelings.

“If you like him, then so do I,” he lied. In fact he had seen the chemistry between those two and ever since had been eaten with envy. If he got the chance he would gladly cut out the heart of Harry Jenkins.

Kitty told him how she was concerned because Georgie had written to say she would be here.

“And there’s no sign of her.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll turn up,” Jack casually assured her.

“Like a bad penny.” } Time fled by and still Georgie didn’t show. Now it was the hour for Mildred and her new husband to leave, and everyone was gathered outside in the thin spring sunshine, waving and laughing as the happy couple climbed into Eddie’s newly acquired Ford Capri.

“Good luck!” Kitty yelled as they pulled away.

“Have a wonderful honeymoon.”

“I mean to!” Mildred called back. Then she threw her bouquet out of the window, straight into Kitty’s arms.

“I think she’s trying to tell us something,” Jack whispered, sliding his arm round her. And Kitty had the most awful feeling he could be right.

As he drove her back to the house, Jack had an idea.

“Why don’t we call at the flat? I’ve got time on my hands, and I can see to those little jobs you wanted done. What was it now? Curtain poles to be fitted, and that new work top in the kitchen? It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

“It might be a good idea,” Kitty agreed.

“If I wasn’t wearing this lovely dress, and you weren’t wearing a suit that must have cost the earth.” His suit was a new one, grey silk with straight-cut trousers and a narrow jacket. As always, he cut a dashing figure.

Keeping his eyes glued to the road, he reached behind him to retrieve a pile of clothes from the seat.

“Two sets of overalls,” he said with a little grin.

“One your size, one mine.”

Kitty laughed at his cheek.

“Sorry. It’s a good idea, Jack, but the key to the flat is back at the house.”

“You underestimate me.” Dipping into his top pocket, he produced the key.

“Mildred gave it to me. She’s worried you won’t get the flat finished in time for when the furniture removers arrive at the house.”

Leaning back in the plush leather seat, Kitty shook her head.

“You’re a pair of conspirators,” she said, smiling in defeat.

The flat was in a delightful spot. Overlooking Bedford river, it had a panoramic view of the whole embankment. But it was a cold unwelcoming place, with two poky bedrooms, a bathroom you could hardly turn round in, and a lounge so small that Kitty wondered if she would get two chairs in, never mind a settee as well. The kitchen was long and narrow, and smelled of damp.

“You don’t have to live here,” Jack reminded her.

“All you have to do is say the word and we’ll redecorate my house exactly as you want it.”

Kitty was astonished to find herself actually thinking about the prospect.

“Thank you all the same,” she decided.

“But I’ll manage.”

The disgruntled expression on his face made her smile.

She opened the door of the flat and the rank odour rose to greet them.

“How can you live here with that awful damp air creeping everywhere?”

Jack had no intention of giving up.

“Don’t worry about it.” Throwing her overalls into the bedroom, Kitty wagged a finger at him.

“You can change in the sitting room.”

“I mean it. Kitty. Why don’t you take time to look for a better place?”

“Where do I stay in the meantime?”

“With me of course.”

“I thought so.” Shaking her head, she told him, “Anyway, there aren’t all that many flats for rent in Bedford. I searched far and wide for this one, and well you know it.” When it seemed he might try again, she gave him her sweetest look.

“Will you stop worrying? By the time I’ve finished with this place, it’ll be a cosy little home.”

In her heart she knew it never could be. However hard you tried, there were some places you could never turn into a home. This miserable flat was one of those. But it was all Kitty could afford, so she was determined to do the best she could.

She had taken off her dress and petticoat and was about to put on the overalls when his touch startled her.

“Why don’t you admit I’m right?”

he murmured, taking her in his arms.

“You and me, two loners, aching for someone to share our lives with. What’s so wrong about us being together. Kitty? What could be worse than being alone? Oh, I know I could have any woman, but I could never be sure it was me they wanted. All they could see would be my wealth the way of life I could offer them. I don’t want that.

It’s you I love. Kitty. No one else. “

“I couldn’t marry you, Jack, It wouldn’t be fair.” It was hard for her to say it, but it had to be done.

“I could never love you in the way you want me to.”

His smile fell away. Now they were both thinking of Harry, like a steel thread that bound them together; one filled with love in her heart, the other with envy and hatred.

“Love isn’t everything,” said Jack.

Kitty smiled. Mildred had said the very same. She was wrong. Jack was wrong. Love was everything.

He tilted her face towards him.

“Forget him,” he urged.

Kitty didn’t answer. She could never forget Harry. He was en grained in her soul.

“Marry me,” Jack’s soft voice murmured in her ear.

“Marry me. Kitty, and I promise … you will learn to love me.” His hands roved her body, touching her bare flesh, arousing her, arousing himself.

“I want you. Kitty,” he moaned.

“Don’t turn me away. Please don’t turn me away.” Strong fingers curled behind her back, undoing her bra.

Kitty was only flesh and blood, and she had been without love for so very long. Sensing her response he slid his hand down her panties, through the triangle of hair and into the soft moistness between her thighs. She could feel him hard and strong against her, and God help her, she wanted him too.

He was so gentle. With his arm around her, he eased her to the floor.

Baring her breasts he tenderly kissed each one, tantalising the erect nipples with the top of his tongue. When she gasped with pleasure, his mouth covered hers. Her eyes were closed, her whole body trembling with a yearning she could no longer suppress. Tenderly parting her, he thrust himself into her body, moaning when the thrill coursed through him.

“I love you,” he whispered, over and over.

“I love you.”

He was a gentle lover, content to be with her, to be part of her, if only for a short time. While he lay with her he loved her. But it was a shallow love, an emotion that touched nothing deeper than his own selfishness. The plain truth was. Jack was in love with the idea of love. But he was genuine in that he wanted Kitty; wanted to take her for his own, to love and to cherish. He craved a permanence in his life, and the more she said no, the more he needed her.