Living Courageously: You Can Face Anything, Just Do It Afraid (12 page)

Babe Ruth was once baseball’s all-time home run king. But did you know that he was also the all-time strikeout champion? He struck out almost twice as often as he hit home runs. He knew
that he had to risk striking out in order to hit those home runs. When asked for the secret of his success, Ruth replied, “I just keep on swingin’ at ’em!”
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I can just imagine that the fans cheered when Babe hit a home run, but it is likely that they didn’t cheer when he struck out. It is the nature of people to cheer only when we are giving them what they want, but I believe Jesus is still cheering for us when we strike out in life. Why? Not because He is glad that we made a mistake, but simply because He knows that if He cheers when we are down, His encouragement will help us get back up. He is with us for the long haul in life and not merely for the times when we hit home runs. Isn’t it comforting and empowering to know that God loves you just as much when you strike out as He does when you hit a home run? I know it is to me.

Every day won’t be a home-run day for us, but we can be secure in the knowledge that God loves us with a perfect and everlasting love.

I have noticed among people who are great sports fans how much they love and cheer for their favorite players when they are doing well, and how quickly they begin to criticize when the players get into a slump and don’t perform well for a period of time.

I am glad that when I am in a slump God cheers me on and tells me that I can have a comeback instead of rejecting me and leaving me alone, giving up on me. All of our days are not home-run days, but we will always come back and hit home runs again if we have the proper encouragement. If you cannot get the encouragement you need from people, then start listening to God because His Word is filled with one encouraging love letter after another written directly to you.

In my book titled
Confidence
, which is about the freedom to be yourself, I said, “A lack of confidence equals a lack of revelation concerning who you are in Christ.” Although I wrote this book many years ago, I still feel the same way, only stronger than ever before. I found no healing for my soul until I received love and right standing with God through faith in Jesus. As I did, I grew in confidence. Our confidence must be deeply rooted in Christ and His love and commitment to us. As we learn to feel good about ourselves and safe in our relationship with God, we are able to step out and do amazing things in life, even if we have to initially do them afraid. This is possible because we know it is permissible if we strike out occasionally, as long as we keep getting up to bat.

I think that anyone who has experienced rejection and the feelings of being unwanted and then recovers is actually stronger than someone who has never experienced those feelings at all. Being knocked down in life and getting back up help us build a resolve that is vital for success. Author Paul Sweeney put it this way: “True success is overcoming the fear of being unsuccessful.”
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Fear of rejection is a deep-rooted fear that affects many. When a person lives afraid that someone might disapprove of or reject them, this fear seeps into the very pores of who they are. They hesitate to trust others or engage in relationships because they doubt they will be accepted.

Past hurts keep many from opening up and living in freedom. Rather than dealing with the pain of the past and moving on in God, they rehearse the pain and live captive to a fear that it will happen again.

But the Bible gives great hope to the person who has been rejected and unwanted: Jesus understands that pain because He experienced it Himself. He understands the feelings that come when people push you away and make you feel devalued. Perhaps that is why Jesus used the final verse in the book of Matthew to tell His disciples:…
And behold, I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion), to the [very] close and consummation of the age.

In His final moments on Earth, Jesus wanted these men to know that they are never alone. Though others might reject them, though others might abandon them, He never would. Jesus would be with them in every situation, on every day, no matter what.

And just as Jesus was with the disciples, He is with you too. You need not fear the rejection of man because you have a friend in Jesus. You may have been turned away in the past. You may have suffered abuse and pain from those who were supposed to protect you. You may be hesitant to open your heart and be vulnerable again, but don’t allow fear to rob you of the life Jesus came to give.

He accepts you! He delights in you! He is with you always!

Knowing that you have complete acceptance from Jesus will
give you confidence to do anything you need or want to do in life. You can live a free, full, and exciting life if you will refuse to settle for anything less. You have tremendous potential just waiting to be developed, but remember that you must be willing to strike out sometimes in order to hit home runs.

Try to identify the historical figure from the following brief paragraph:

I believe that Abraham Lincoln’s legacy and impact on the world was only felt because he realized that failure is not final. Lincoln apparently did not feel inadequate even though he experienced a lot of rejection, and was unsuccessful quite often. Talk about someone who could have felt unwanted! If he would have felt inadequate, he certainly would have given up early in life and the world would have been robbed of the amazing gifts and talents he had. The example that Lincoln set is proof to me that no matter how often we strike out in life, if we keep getting up to bat, we will eventually hit a home run. He failed at many things and yet he was not an ultimate failure, and I am sure it was because he refused to feel defeated and inadequate. No one can know why he failed so many times before he experienced success, but his life is proof that we can succeed if we won’t give up.

Thoughts of inadequacy sound like this:
I am not capable, I don’t think I have what it takes, I can’t, I am not, I lack…
Those and other similar thoughts rob us of the vision and creativity to be the best that we can be. I have learned, through God’s Word and my own experiences, that I can indeed do anything God wants me to do through Him. That literally means that He will give us the ability we need if we trust Him to do so. We cannot do things
that are against God’s will, but if God wants us to do a thing, we can be assured that He will provide everything we need for the task. Perhaps the next time you are trying to do something that you cannot seem to do, you should ask yourself if you are doing what God wants you to do, or merely what you want to do. If it is just your plan and it isn’t working, then drop it, but if you are sure it is God’s will for you, then don’t give up!

I often hear people express fears about their inadequacy in various areas, but one I hear often is the fear of their inadequacy to be a good parent. They are so fearful of making mistakes that they cannot flow in the natural gifting that God gives us to be parents. Are there bad parents? Absolutely there are, but they are not people who are seeking to be good ones. If you truly want to be a good parent, you can relax because a lot of it is common sense. I was raised in a very dysfunctional home and can safely say that I did not have good parenting, yet I was a good mother to four children who all love God and are doing well in life. I prayed every night to be a good wife and a good mother and when we do that, it opens the door for God to help us. I wasn’t a perfect parent by any means, and you won’t be either, but you need not feel inadequate to parent. Actually, you should not feel inadequate to do anything that you need to do in life. We may be inadequate for many things without God’s help, but in and through Him, we can do all things (see Philippians 4:13).

The fear that we are inadequate is just another way of saying that we are afraid of failure. The fear of inadequacy steals our confidence. Without confidence, we usually won’t even try things, and even if we do, we are unsuccessful because at the core of our
being we don’t really believe we can do what we have set out to do. If we don’t believe in our success, then who will? We cannot motivate other people to trust us if we don’t trust ourselves. I know that in the back of many people’s minds the nagging thought of
What if I fail?
is still lurking, but it’s time to ignore that thought and listen to courage instead. Courage doesn’t ask, “What if I fail?” Courage asks, “What if I succeed?”

Remember what the shepherd boy, David, asked when he heard Goliath spouting curses and insults against God and the armies of Israel? David, full of courage, asked, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel?” (1 Samuel 17:26). While everyone else was thinking,
What if I fail?
David was thinking,
What If I succeed?

It’s important to note that most successes are not “overnight successes.” I think it is safe to say that there are setbacks in nearly every venture. Things happen that we didn’t expect, and some of them are arrows from Satan to make us believe that we are inadequate for the task at hand, or perhaps for any task at all. Very few people simply decide what they want to do and have immediate success, and even if they did, I am not sure it would be good for them. Usually we appreciate our successes more if we have to make a genuine investment in order to have them. I often say that my greatest testimony is simply, “I am still here.” What I mean by that is that even though there have been many setbacks along my journey, I did not give up. With God’s help, I kept getting up to bat and finally hit some home runs.

“Failure is not an option” is a quote of many people with Type A personalities, but in reality, millions of people can’t fail because
they haven’t even begun. They won’t try anything, especially not anything out of the ordinary, due to the fear of being inadequate and failing. Their fear keeps them trapped in safe, narrow, boring, and frustrating lives. They have goals, hopes, and dreams that they will never realize because they don’t want to fail.

Many times, the answer for progress is actually in failing. Michael Jordan’s story is fascinating because he’s one of the world’s greatest basketball players of all time, yet he couldn’t make the cut on his team in high school. Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”
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You see, only those willing to keep on failing at times will also enjoy those times of success.

Thomas Edison said, “I failed my way to success.”
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Henry Ford said, “One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.”
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John Maxwell wrote an entire book that teaches people how to “fail forward.” Thinking like this will prevent failure from being permanent.

One very well known worship leader that I know failed music class. I barely passed English class and have written 100-plus books and have a daily television program sharing the Gospel with people around the world.

I read about two singers and how their reaction to the symptoms of nervousness before going onstage affected them completely differently. One of them wanted to completely back out, and for the other one, it was a signal that it’s “Showtime!” I have preached thousands of times; yet I often look at my notes and wonder if I will have enough to say. These types of feelings are not a problem unless we let them stop us. We must move past fear and “do it afraid.”

The fear of failure, as with all fears, keeps us from enjoying some aspect of life. The fear of failure is often one of the most paralyzing fears. Sometimes we are so concerned about failing that we don’t try an activity we want to try, and we can end up resenting other people who are enjoying their lives while we sit on the sidelines and watch. Other times our fear of failure is so strong that we subconsciously undermine our own efforts so we don’t have to continue to try. The fear is so strong that it brings about the defeat that we feared.

The fear of failure is usually caused by some traumatic event in early life, like demeaning parents or siblings, or teachers. It can also be caused by some event that caused great embarrassment. It doesn’t help that our culture demands so much perfection. Perfection is an illusion, but people with crippling phobias won’t try anything until they feel that their perfection is guaranteed, something none of us can have. The only way to know if we can ever do a thing is to try to do it and see. Step out and find out! Even a turtle can’t get anywhere unless he sticks his neck out.

If you step out and try, you might not end up with perfection, but it is better than being stuck doing nothing.

Anxiety is a symptom of fear. Someone said that anxiety is fear’s first cousin and that we can define anxiety as experiencing failure in advance. Anxiety steals our “now life” because mentally and emotionally, we are looking ahead thinking that there will be a negative result of some kind. Thinking that I might lose my job steals the joy of having one. Being afraid of illness causes
stress and steals our health. Being anxious about our ability to parent properly prevents us from receiving wisdom from God to do so. Fear of any kind has no positive results. It steals everything good that God wants for us and prevents us from enjoying anything we do have.

I encourage you to expect something good to happen instead of being anxious that it won’t. When we work with anticipation, it is more fun and can often be a self-fulfilling point of view. God is good and He wants us to expect Him to be good to us (see Isaiah 30:18). God is waiting to help us with everything we need to do in life. All He wants is to be invited to help us. The truth is that most of us are very inadequate without God’s help, but through Christ we can do whatever we need to do in life.

Have you ever met anyone who always has a little sarcastic or negative comment to make about people who are successful? I have, and I always assumed it was jealousy. I am sure that jealousy does play into the problem, but I also have come to think that if a person has the need to diminish someone else’s success with negative comments, it may be due to their own fears. Perhaps they have been afraid of failure, and their resentment of those who are succeeding is merely a symptom of that fear. People who make these comments might say things like, “I would be successful too if I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” Or, “He isn’t all that talented, he was just lucky.” Comments like these are merely proof that we resent the success of others, and there is no reason to resent it if we have done all we can do to have successes of our own. I often say, “Don’t be jealous of what someone else has if you don’t want to do what they did to get it.”

I urge people to stop and take an inventory of how they feel about themselves. A lot of our problems are that we don’t feel very good about ourselves. God assigns value to us and He equips us with gifts, abilities, and talents, and we need to believe that with God all things are possible. Inadequate feelings often come from comparing ourselves with someone else, but God isn’t asking us to be anyone other than our own unique self. I may not be able to do what someone else can do, but I can do what I can do, and it is often something that nobody else can do. Do you feel small, minimized, or just plain incapable? If so, you are not the first one to feel that way.

Many of the people we call Bible heroes had to face the same feelings of inadequacy that we do. Moses felt inadequate for the job God was calling him to. He actually told God that He had the wrong man and needed to give the job to someone else. Moses said, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11). Perhaps many of us have asked that question when great opportunity was in front of us. People might even say to us, “Who do you think you are?” and understandably so because God often calls us to do things that we are not naturally qualified for.

God answered Moses’ concern by simply saying, “I will surely be with you” (Exodus 3:12). The same reason He gives in answer regarding all fear. “Fear not for I am with you.” All Moses had to do was take the first step of faith, and then as he experienced the faithfulness of God, it enabled him to take another and another until he had completed the task.

Zacchaeus was a little man who was so short that he could not
see Jesus over the crowd of people. He could have felt inadequate, but he was aggressive and climbed a tree and ended up with the best view of anyone. Jesus also noticed his tenacity and decided to go to his house for dinner.

Paul was perhaps the greatest of all the apostles and his name meant
small
and
little
. I would rather have a name that meant
strong
and
great
, wouldn’t you? But neither Paul’s name, nor the mistakes he had made in life, kept him from becoming a great man.

These three examples are of people who had reason to feel inadequate but refused to do so. They pressed past their concerns and fears, but there are other examples in God’s Word of those who didn’t.