Living with Shadows (42 page)

6
th
October

Good
night’s
sleep.
Breakfasted
on
orange
juice,
toast
and
tea.
Wonderful
sense
of
having
nothing
to
worry
about
but
my
own
well
being.
In
the
words
of
the
song
‘All
my
troubles
seem
so
far
away.’
Another
glorious
sunny
day.

Wandered
down
into
Los
Cristianos
by
11
a.m.
Stopped
at
a
café/bar
for
a
coke.
Watched
holidaymakers
walking
up
and
down
promenade.
Some
bizarre
sights!
Scantily
clad
sexagenarians
in
teenage
clothes,
mini
skirts
and
short
tops
revealing
brown
wrinkled
stomachs.
Men,
topless,
with
huge
beer
guts
hanging
over
shorts.

Strolled
along
promenade
overlooking
beach.
Observed
Spanish
looking
guy,
about
28,
riding
along
prom
on
his
pushbike
and
then
stopping
in
front
of
shower
where
young,
topless
girls
swilled
sand
from
glistening
bodies.
As
soon
as
they
began
to
put
on
their
bikini
tops,
off
he
went,
carousing
the
front
for
an
eyeful
of
tit.
Sad,
sad
boy.
Men
are
such
dogs!

Sunbathed
by
side
of
pool.
Didn’t
feel
too
conscious
of
being
all
alone.

7
th
October

Cloudy
but
warm.
Walked
down
to
shore
again
but
took
a
different
route—away
from
the
tourists!
Headed
towards
ragged
cliffs
to
left
of
port.
Passed
three
fisherman
hooking
up
their
rods,
sitting
in
a
line,
soaking
up
the
brine
 . . .

Always
thought
fishing
must
be
a
very
relaxing
sport,
sitting
for
hours
on
end
just
letting
your
mind
wander.
Time
to
think;
now
there’s
a
luxury.
Michael
once
said
he
thought
it
a
‘boring’
waste
of
time.
But
there
seems
to
me
more
beauty
in
it
than
the
droves
of
people
who
walk
aimlessly
up
and
down
the
promenade.
Three
fit
fisherman
sitting
in
a
row
outstrip
a
thousand
tourists
with
nowhere
to
go.
(Am
going
mad!)

Called
in
supermarket
on
way
home
for
food
and
wine.
Made
prawn
salad
for
dinner.
Shit
prawns—uncooked!
Microwaved
them
but
still
not
good.
Can’t
face
eating
out
so
another
solitary
night
in
as
I
don’t
want
to
find
myself
blubbering
out
my
problems
to
a
total
stranger.
Feeling
lonely.

8
th
October

Up
at
8
a.m.
Beside
pool
at
9.30.
(Only
one
couple
there.)
Sunny
and
warm
even
so
early.
Thirsty
so
decided
to
pop
into
site
shop
and
buy
some
water.
Realised
I
hadn’t
got
my
purse.
Left
it
by
the
side
of
computer
when
I
emailed
Sam.
Dashed
in
and
searched
around
computer
but
nowhere
to
be
seen.
Discovered
someone
had
handed
it
into
reception.
Phew!

After
a
couple
of
hours
sunbathing,
changed
and
went
for
a
walk
to
Playa
Americas
(4
km).
Passed
a
huge
hill
that
looked
an
easy
enough
climb.
Will
try
it
tomorrow.
Lovely
walk
but
scorching
hot.
Stopped
at
a
bar
for
a
shandy.
A
group
of
people
walked
in—a
family?
They
greeted
the
owners,
who
were
English.
A
few
minutes
later
waitresses
appeared,
one
carrying
a
cake
with
the
number
24
on
top,
and
another
carrying
champagne
and
a
tray
of
glasses.
Everyone
shouted
‘Happy
Anniversary’.
The
champagne
cork
popped,
glasses
clinked
and
laughter
rang
out
from
their
table
as
they
enjoyed
their
celebration.
Wondered
what
they’d
do
to
mark
25
years!
Thought
of
Jim
and
remembered
our
honeymoon
in
Venice,
gliding
along
the
canals
in
a
Gondola,
steered
expertly
between
enormous
buildings
rising
up
out
of
the
water—blissfully
happy.
Wondered
if
the
anniversary
couple
had
experienced
many
disappointments
in
their
24
years
of
marriage—it
couldn’t
all
have
been
plain
sailing.
(Pun
not
intended!)
It
just
isn’t
possible
to
go
through
life
without
disappointment.
How
to
deal
with
it
is
the
most
important
thing;
but
it’s
never
that
easy,
not
where
emotions
are
concerned.
Reason
goes
out
the
window.
Remembered
a
poem:

Ah,
when
to
the
heart
of
man

Was
it
ever
less
than
a
treason

To
go
with
the
drift
of
things,

To
yield
with
a
grace
to
reason,

And
bow
and
accept
the
end

Of
a
love
or
a
season?