Locked (12 page)

“You taste so fucking good. So fucking good, Reece,” he pants in my ear.

It’s crazy to think, but I want him…all of him. I want him inside of me. I want him to be my first. I’m not scared. I’m not disgusted. My hands instinctually move from his back to his ass guiding him to push him into me.

He slides his hand under my shirt and lightly caresses my breast through my bra. He pulls the fabric down and my breast is now exposed. Immediately, his mouth is sucking where I want him to the most. I buck against him in desperate need.

“Ah, fuck,” he mumbles. His mouth switches sides and my senses are awakened all over again.

To my dismay, he removes his mouth. His hooded eyes lock on mine. Our lips crash against each other. I tightly wrap my legs around his waist, trying to get closer to him. His hand slips down between us and I feel the top button of my jeans flip open. The warmth of his fingers touches the inside of me caressing the wet bud. He circles and circles his fingers in that one spot and I think I’m climbing my way to heaven. I begin to move with his rhythm, matching every single touch. All I want to do is feel and climb. Higher and higher his fingers take me until I whine out his name.

Too quickly, his hand is out of my pants. He plants soft kisses all over my lips where only minutes before he was biting them. My hand snakes down between us and I try the same move he did on me. He stops my hand.

“Why won’t you let me?” I hate that he rejected my offer to pleasure him.

Caydon’s smile has returned. It looks good on him. “I’d love for you to jerk me off. It’s just…Shorty and Maria will be coming out soon. And the shop is still open. Plus, I haven’t finished your piece.”

Looking down at the incomplete artwork, I let out a sigh. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking.”

“We both weren’t thinking.”

Is that regret that I hear?

Caydon returns to business as usual. The dyes are organized and he has the needle ready to go again. He takes my arm and secures it on the armrest. The needle is back scratching my arm. The buzzing noise is deafening. Instead of pleasure, it feels like my skin is burning.

I look to Caydon for any kind of recognition of what just happened. But there is none. Instead, I’m left with more questions than I had before and a lump in my throat.

* * *

Here she is. The girl I’ve been searching for since I was kid. I knew there was some kind of connection the moment I met her. I’d been fighting it and fighting it because of Hannah.

Funny…I always feel like I’m fighting someone or something. When does it stop?

I’m pissed Reece didn’t tell me right away who she was. When she found out, she should have said something. I want to punish her so bad for not telling me. Hell, I want to punish her for leaving me that day.

It’s not her fault. She moved. We were ten. But, it’s kind of like my soul said, “Oh, hey, there you are. I need you.” Then she disappears.

I was at a point in my life where I thought everyone was there to let me down. Teachers hated me. Guidance counselors blamed my defiance on the lack of a father figure. I felt like everyone was out to get me.

Then, there she was standing across the street in her schoolgirl uniform. I’d look at her. She’d look away. But, then, she’d look back at me again. I had just gotten the concept that you shouldn’t tease or hit girls just because you thought they were pretty. So I didn’t know what to do.

Every day, for months, I’d watch her. She became the sun in my sky. I’d behave myself in school just so I didn’t get in trouble and get detention. If I did get detention, I wouldn’t be able to see her.

During school breaks, I’d become depressed. That’s when the shit really hit the fan. I’d go looking for a fight. I know she wondered where the black eyes came from because she’d look at me with care and concern.

Needless to say, I was a pussy back then. No matter how hard I’d try, I never had the courage to talk to her. Maybe if I had sooner, things would have been different, or maybe worse. After all, she did move away.

Here I am blaming her for revealing that she was my stupid, childhood crush when she just buried her mom a few months ago. I’m a selfish bastard. It’s not like her adolescence was a walk in the park. And here I am, whining about mine.

When I took her lip into my mouth tonight, I knew there was no going back. Hell, I’m still fucking hard from her trying to give me a hand job. It’s just my brain needs to catch up with my dick.

I see the confusion on her face. It’s killing me. How do I explain that there is so much more to our story?

“Caydon, I wish you would talk to me,” she whispers.

I finish with the last letter on her arm and rub some Aquafor
®
on the whole piece and cover it with plastic wrap.

What the fuck am I supposed to say? Sorry I almost took your virginity on a fucking tattoo chair?

I’m not good with all of this shit. Hannah didn’t require me to talk about things. As long as I showed up on her arm to parties and fucked her at the end of the night, we were good.

Fuck. Was our relationship that shallow?

I don’t want it to be like that with Reece. She deserves more.

“There’s a lot to fucking say, Reece. I just don’t know how or where to say it,” I admit. “And I can’t seem to keep my fucking hands off of you. I don’t know if being alone with you is a good idea right now.”

She’s pouting. Where I would find it annoying on other girls, it’s fucking adorable on her.

“I think whatever you need to say is important.”

Yeah, it is important. But if I start talking, then I’d have to tell her everything.

Fuck that.

“What do expect from me Reece? This isn’t some ‘Lifetime for Women’ movie. Did you expect me to run into your arms and declare my undying love for you when you finally told me? It doesn’t work that way. I kissed you because I got caught up in the moment. You’re a fucking hot chick. I’m a guy with a dick,” I sneer.

Good job pushing her away, asshole.

This time, she jumps out of the chair and heads for the door. Reece looks over her shoulder, “Nope, Caydon. You are just a dick.”

Just like that, she is out the door and running down the street.

Nice. What the fuck is wrong with you?

I’ve got to catch her and bring her back.

Yeah, bring her back to you, shithead.

I take off after her. I push past people hitting their arms and other limbs trying to get a glimpse of where Reece is. I spot her and sprint toward her.

When I reach her I wrap my arms around her preventing her from moving forward. She’s fighting me. “Let go of me!”

Not. Gonna. Happen.

“Dammit, Caydon. Stop!” she screams. People have now begun to stare at us. The scene is getting ugly.

“No.” I firmly stand my ground by holding her tighter. I lift her off of the ground and swing her in the direction she came from.

“I’m not going back to the shop. Put me down.” She brings her right leg back and kicks me in my shin.

I yell out in pain, “Mother fucker!” It just fuels the fire I have for her. I’m not letting go.

Feisty little…

“Do you want to end up like Nash? Put me down, Caydon.”

Man, she is really something. I have no doubt she is about two seconds away from kicking my ass. But I have to admit; she is also turning me on. In addition, I am trying to make this right. How? I don’t fucking know. I don’t have the skills to ‘talk’ about my feelings. What I do know is that I don’t want her to leave. “First of all, I’m not taking you back to the shop. I’m taking you to my apartment,” I grate out.

“Why? So you can finish what you started in the chair? No! Not happening!” Reece delivers another kick to my shin.

Fuuuck.
That hurt. I hold my pain in because I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that she hurt me.

“Reece, we are going back to my apartment to talk. Plus, we are making a scene,” I whisper in her ear. My nose is stuck in her hair. I take a deep whiff of the scent. Damn, her hair smells good…like mint and vanilla. She glances around us noting all of the people watching us. I feel her relax in my arms. I gently slide her down my body until her feet touch the ground. Slowly, I take her hand. “C’mon. I promise I will try not to fuck this up, like I always do. Just…please…come with me. And…if you decide that I’m still a fuck-up after you talk to me, I will leave you alone.”

She doesn’t say a word, but nods. I take it as a good sign. She has stopped assaulting me and is now allowing me to lead her down the street hand in hand.

* * *

My apartment is not too far away from Shorty’s shop. The building I live in almost looks like a storefront. My balcony overlooks all of the shops and restaurants on the main street. I chose the apartment because of the location. It is close to everything.

Reece and I have remained quiet. We are still holding hands as I lead her into my elevator. There are so many inappropriate visions running through my mind of what I’d like to do with her in here. I have to get it together. I promised her that I would try not to fuck this up.

Elevator. Reece. Mind porn.

Instead of throwing her up against the elevator wall, I run my thumb across her hand. Finally, she looks at me but quickly stares at the floor again. Thankfully, an elderly couple enters the elevator. My mind is at peace for about two seconds.

Once we are off the elevator, I guide her to my apartment door and let her in.

I chuckle at the thought that she is the first girl I’ve ever had in my apartment. I always thought it would have been Hannah.

I tell her to make herself at home while I text Shorty to let him know that I didn’t close up the shop. While I’m texting, I grab two beers from the fridge and head back to where Reece is sitting on the couch. I open the beer and hand it to Reece while I take a swig of mine.

She takes the beer and places it on the table next my couch. “Your place is sweet.”

I plop down next to her. “Yeah, it’s alright for now.”

“I expected dirty socks and old pizza boxes to be scattered everywhere.” She laughs. She doesn’t laugh very much. I wish she would do it more often.

I grin. “I work for what I have. So, I tend to take care of my shit, I guess.” She looks uneasy, like she doesn’t know what to do or say next. “Hey, everything is going to be cool. I didn’t bring you back here to get you drunk and take advantage of you.”

Forcing a smile, she says, “Thanks. It’s that obvious, huh?”

“What?”

“That I don’t know how to act around guys…that I’m kind of inexperienced.” She slaps her forehead. “God, I’m such a dud.”

I laugh at her. “A what?”

“A dud. Loser. Geek. Must I go on?” she asks embarrassed.

I abandon my beer and take her hands in mine. Looking her straight in the eye, I say, “Reece, you’re none of those things. When I look at you, I see a sexy, fresh, feisty as hell…fucking…goddess.” I can’t stop fucking staring at her. “And that’s not a pick up line. It’s just what I see.”

“A goddess? Boy, do I have you fooled,” she puns.

“Then, a fool I am.” I give her a quick peck on her lips. I notice she hasn’t taken a sip of her beer. “Is something wrong with the beer? Is it warm?”

“No. It’s just,” she pauses. “I don’t drink.” Reece exhales and looks away.

My fingers, on her chin, guide her face back to mine. “Because of your mom?”

“Yes.”

I bob my head up and down in understanding. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I want to talk, but not about her. I know my dad filled you in on what happened to my mom. It doesn’t need to be rehashed.”

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?” I suck at this.

“What happened to you? You were supposed to meet me after school. You never showed.” Reece appears to be hurt. “I know we were just kids and I shouldn’t have expected anything from you. I just want to know why you never came.”

Ah, that fateful day that set in motion a series of unfortunate events. I have to relive all of that shit just to hold onto her. And I still haven’t figured out why I even want to.

Just tell her, asshole.

“I got detention for assaulting those girls that pushed you to the ground. The ‘boy’ was the one who fucked everything up.”
There it is.

“Nash didn’t push me or hurt me. He was the reason why Hannah and her friends picked on me. But he always was nice to me. You do know that it was Hannah? Right?” She says it like she doesn’t want to believe I knew it was Hannah.

Man, this girl still doesn’t get it. I’m going to have to spell it out for her. “Let me put the puzzle pieces together for you, Reece. Nash took you away from me. So, I took Hannah away from him. It took me over five years to get revenge on him. But I did it.”

She looks confused. “I thought you loved Hannah. Isn’t that why you gave me such a hard time when I moved back here?”

The hard part is that I have to admit everything. I have to say it out loud. “I liked the way people looked at me when I was with her. I liked the fact that I stole her from Nash. I liked that she was mine. And, yeah, I did care about her.”

“So, what? You only dated her to get back at them for something that happened when we were ten? And then you fell in love with her?” Disbelief shows on her face.

I release a long sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought. “Yep. And, did I love her? It was something like that.” I laugh nervously. “I was with her since I was fifteen years old. I started having sex when I was thirteen with random chicks. More than half the time, I didn’t even know their names. I don’t remember enjoying it. Hannah took that emptiness and filled it with purpose, I guess.” Reece looks away. I wish I knew what the hell she was thinking. “What’s in that head of yours, Reece?”

“You don’t want to know. It’s stupid.” There’s hesitation in her voice.

“Try me.”

“’Nobody finds their soul mate when they’re ten. I mean, where’s the fun in that, right?’” Reece says and laughs quietly to herself.

“What?”