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Who said I wanted to leave? You’re mine. Wait…what?

“I know you’re not Summer. And who says I want to leave?”

“I’m not the rebound girl, Caydon.”

“Never said you were. If I want to get fucked, I can. Anytime. Anywhere. I don’t need you to fill that void, Reece.”

“Yesterday you hated me. Today you want to fuck me. Why?”

“I could say the same to you.”

“I didn’t have a girlfriend yesterday.”

“Do you want a girlfriend today? Cuz’ I’m totally down with that.”

“Caydon,” she warns. “Put yourself in my shoes for a minute. I meet you. You’re a dick. I see you again on your birthday. You’re a dick again. You hook up with a slut. She leaves you to get sick all over yourself. I take care of you. You kiss me.”

Yeah, that about sums it up. It’s crazy, I know. That being said, Reece crawled under my skin immediately. And I think I know why. I want her. I was pissed at Hannah for keeping me on a leash, tied up like a dog. When I saw Reece, she reminded me of what I can’t have.

And, yes, I was drunk as fuck last night. But I remember Reece. All of Reece. Even though I have every intention to stay away from her, I don’t think that is going to work.

“You wouldn’t talk to me when I met you. I thought you were stuck up. And, although I was with Hannah, I wanted you. You were a temptation I didn’t need at the time, Reece.”

“And, what? Now you do?”

“I don’t know what I need right now.”
I need you.

“How about we start off as friends?”

My fingers were inside of you. And you want to be friends?

I still have her confined to the countertop. “Okay, friend. Tell me. How the fuck did I end up at your place last night? Was that your doing?”
I know she fucking wants me.

“I couldn’t find your apartment. And I knew I couldn’t lift you. So, I drove you here.” Her eyes dart away from mine.

“Shorty didn’t tell you where I live? What’d he do? Throw my ass in the car and let you drive away?” I laugh. It would be something he would do.

Reece lets out the air she was holding in. “Shorty didn’t help me. Nash did.”

My hands drop to my side. Nash. The one asshole I don’t need in my life helping me. I can’t be indebted to him. “Why the hell did you let him help me?” I spit out.

“Because no one else volunteered,” she states flatly.

“Jesus, Reece. Of all the people at the party, you chose him? Fucking Nash.”
He knows I’m weak. He’ll use this against me. He’ll tell Hannah how fucked up I was. She’ll think I still fucking care about her, when I don’t.

“What did you want me to do, Caydon? Leave you in your own vomit?”

“Where was Shorty?”

“Fucking his girlfriend.”

“Do me a favor. The next time you think I need help…walk away,” I grit out. I should be grateful that she helped me. But Nash involved in my shit pisses me off.

I walk to the table and begin to stuff my face with the sandwich I made. I need to stuff my mouth with something before I say something I regret.

I search my head looking for reasons why I’m pissed at Reece. She was just trying to help. The anger I have for Nash and Hannah takes over my rational thoughts. Now, I’m at a loss.

Reece is still standing at the kitchen counter watching me ignore her. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief. After everything she has done for me, I understand. But I still don’t care.

Our eyes meet for a brief second. She pinches her eyebrows together. “You’re welcome.”

I never said ‘thank you’.

* * *

To my surprise, dinner isn’t a total disaster. Caydon and I ignore each other, which goes unnoticed because Maria’s family is here. They tend to dominate the conversation at the dinner table. Maria and Shorty are great buffers, too.

After Caydon’s jarring response to me asking Nash for help, I stewed in frustration and sadness. If he could only grasp the reason I asked Nash to help, he wouldn’t be so damn mad.
Or would he?

Seeing my mom, unresponsive day after day, has instilled fears in me that I can never get rid of. Sure, Nash wasn’t my first choice. However, he was my only choice.
I did the right thing.

We make it through dessert and I count down the time Caydon and I have left together. It’s not much, which is a good thing. My mind alternates between wanting to hit him and wanting to kiss him.

There’s a knock at the front door. Everyone is in mid-conversation so I decide to answer it. I’m most sure it is another round of Christmas carolers. They start early around here. I never heard of carolers at Thanksgiving, but whatever. It’s kind of nice. I never heard a caroler in Florida either. Then again, singing in the middle of eighty-degree weather about a white Christmas probably wouldn’t work.

I prepare myself for the attack of bad singing and open the door. “Nash?”

“Hey. I ‘m sorry if you are in the middle of dinner or something. I just was worried about you last night when I didn’t see you or Caydon at his place.”

I forgot that I ditched Nash last night. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t find his place so I brought him back here. How did you know where I lived?”

“You don’t remember me do you?”

“Should I?”

He laughs to himself. “Man, it’s amazing what eleven years does to someone’s memory. But I never forgot you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Reece, we went to school together. Seriously, you don’t remember any of us do you?”

Faces look familiar. Names have been forgotten. I never had any real friends other than Maria. Since I went to private school with kids that weren’t in my neighborhood, play dates were few and very far between.
More like nonexistent.

“Some people look familiar. I just don’t remember when and where I’ve met them. But, I think I’d remember your name. It’s not like your name is Joe or Bob.”

You’d think I’d remember him. Period. Nash is hot. His blonde hair is cropped and perfectly styled. His blue eyes sparkle each time his lips curl in a smile. He should have a stamp on his back that says ‘Body by Gym’. I’ve only noticed one tattoo on his forearm. It looks like something tribal.

“It’s my last name. My first name is Kevin. No one has called me by my first name since middle school.”

I rack my brain over and over again trying to remember Nash. Finally, it hits me. He was in my class throughout most of my elementary school years. He always was very nice to me when the little blonde girl wasn’t around.

Actually, the little blonde girl tortured me more when Nash tried to play with me at recess. To keep her at a distance, I always declined Nash’s invitations.

I never knew her name because she was never in my class. I thought she might have been in the grade before mine. “The little blonde girl?” I know he would know whom I was talking about.

“Hannah.”

Of course, fucking Hannah.
“She was a bitch.”

“She still can be. What happened to you? Where’d you go?”

“I moved to Florida with my mom. It’s not like I had a life here.”

He nods in agreement. “Reece, I said some things about you to Caydon that I want you to hear from me…unless he has already told you.”

I shake my head. “He hasn’t. But, it’s not like we have these heart to heart talks, Nash.”

“I called you a hood rat and a whore. I said it in the heat of the moment. I wanted to hurt Caydon, not you.” There’s remorse on his face.

“Caydon doesn’t care about me, Nash. You could call me whatever you want.” I let out a nervous laugh. I surprise myself. I should be upset that Nash insulted me. Instead, I’m more distraught that Caydon doesn’t care.

Nash laughs again. “Oh, Reece. You couldn’t be more wrong. If you think back hard enough, you’ll get it.”

What the hell? No. It couldn’t be. Caydon is the little boy with the honey brown eyes?

“What?”

“Don’t you remember?” Nash bounces back from one leg to the other in a nervous stance. “Caydon was there the day that Hannah and her friends pushed you to the ground. He was the one that stopped them.”

“Uh huh.” I’m stunned.

I thought about that boy my whole life. He was my protector. But he also made a promise to me that he didn’t keep. He promised that he would be there the next day and he never showed. The boy who watched me day after day left me alone to fend for myself. He abandoned me. That’s when I pushed my dad to let me go to Florida.

“Reece? Are you okay?”

No
.

I feel like someone stole the air from my lungs. How could a boy who watched over me and kept me safe be such a prick now? Does everything I keep sacred have turn to shit? “I’m fine.”

My arms cross my chest. The chill in the air becomes colder. My heart aches for the little girl I used to be and longs for the little boy who she relied on.

As if on cue, Caydon appears from behind me. He stands next to me and looks down. Our eyes meet and I feel like I am seeing the boy for the first time in years. I tear up, not because I am weak, but because I have been strong for so long. I want to tell him that I had relied on him…that he was the most dependable thing I have ever had in my life back then.

Yes, Caydon and I only stared at each other. We said nothing at all but our emotions were so intense. The day Caydon pushed everyone away from me, I knew he understood. Words couldn’t adequately express what we both felt inside.

Caydon glares at me. There’s that connection again, the tingling, annoying feeling that starts in the pit of my belly. He tears his eyes away reluctantly.

“In the wrong hood, Nash?” Caydon puts his arm on the doorframe above my head.

“Just checking on Reece, Caydon.” His lips curl up as if Caydon’s presence doesn’t bother him. “I see that you’ve made yourself at home. Having dinner with the family already?”

I can feel Caydon all around me. I both welcome the closeness and dread it. “It’s none of your business what I do with Reece. I thought I told you to stay away from her…to not even look at her.”

What?

“She couldn’t carry your sorry ass. And no one stepped up to the plate to help you out. But I did.” Nash stuffs his hands in his hoodie. “Yet, here we are again, Caydon, at each other’s throats. Why? Because of a girl? You’re a selfish bastard. First, Hannah. Now, Reece. Is it just that you don’t want me to have either of them?”

I want to hear this. If Hannah is still important to Caydon, it will show. “Hannah’s a free woman. Oh, wait. She’s not. Anyway, do what you want with her. I couldn’t give a fuck.”

This needs to stop. The bantering back and forth over who has the bigger dick is starting to get old. “As much as I love hearing you both fight about Hannah, it’s boring me to death.” I turn to Caydon. Our bodies are chest to chest. “Nash just was checking to make sure we made it home safely.”

Caydon keeps his chest to mine. He turns his head to Nash. “We’re safe. Now, go.”

“What? No, ‘thank you’?” Nash won’t give it up. Anyone can see he thinks it’s a joke.

Caydon’s chest rises and falls. His patience with Nash is wearing thin. He is seething. There is so much more inside Caydon that is forcing him to hate Nash.

If it weren’t for Nash, I would have been up Shit’s Creek without a paddle last night. He helped me. And he helped Caydon. That has to be worth something. “Thank you, Nash.”

Caydon’s body inched closer to mine pressing me closer to the frame of the door. His brow is pinched and he puffed out a sigh. “You got your fucking apology. Get lost, Nash.”

I saw this on the Discovery Channel once. Caydon is holding back a wild caged animal. Nash could give him any poor excuse to let the wild animal loose. Like the animals I saw on the show, Caydon is looking for an easy way to resolve the problem. He’s going to tear Nash apart.

“Thank you, Nash. You should go,” I hint.

He nods and makes eye contact with me. “If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.” Caydon and I watch Nash walk to his motorcycle.

Caydon gazes into my eyes. For a second I think he recognizes me. How could he? I don’t look like I’m ten years old. And, if he does recognize me, maybe I imagined the ten-year-old Caydon cared about me.

Caydon’s eyes are soft, but only for a moment. Darkness fills his eyes and he’s lost again. “Nash is someone you need to stay away from, Reece.”

“Caydon, I didn’t invite him here. I don’t care to be near him or away from him. Why don’t you believe me? Why do always think I’m out to piss you off?” I shoot back at him. I want him to feel it. I want him to remember.

I see the darkness fading. I see the muscles in his arms tighten around the doorframe. This is it. His eyes roam from my feet all the way up to my eyes. I feel him all over me, like I did last night. “Reece,” he softly says my name. “I’d have to care about you for you to piss me off. And I don’t care. He’s just not a good guy. Stay away from him.”

Stop it. That hurts.

He’s about to walk away from me, leaving me with a cutting statement to swallow. I grab his arm. “Every time Nash is mentioned or near, you shut down. Why?”

C’mon. Remember.

Running his fingers through his dark hair, he sighs. “You wouldn’t get it.” He regrets telling me he doesn’t care.

“Try me.”

“It’s crazy.”

“I specialize in crazy.”

“Reece, leave it alone,” he whispers and kisses me on the cheek.

Caydon doesn’t remember me. I have to accept it and move on. Last night was a drunken hook up. It meant nothing more. I mean nothing to him.

* * *

I’ll be damned if I let another girl get under my skin. Hannah ruined me.
Hell, I was ruined before that.

Reece makes me itch for her. And that’s dangerous…too dangerous.

When I’m around her, I can’t help myself. It’s either I want to wound her with my words or lay her down on her back and fuck her senseless. The latter is not an option. Sure, I don’t want anyone else to have what I feel in my heart is mine. I don’t think they will respect her virginity like I do. But I can’t have another broad turn me into a bitch. I can’t. I won’t. The fury is too much.