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I sulk for a few minutes. Mostly, I need a time out. “Fine. Now what?”

“Go inside. Hold your girlfriend’s hand. Ask your mom if she needs anything.” He leans his back against the brick wall. “Be the man I know you are.”

I lightly pound the brick wall with my fists. I want to punch it as hard as I can. But I can’t. Shorty is right. I need to be there for my girls. I will be there for my girls.

* * *

Hours. Many hours have gone by. I’m exhausted from the stress of waiting for news. Any news.

The hospital designed the waiting room with calming colors and a waterfall. It’s not calming for those who have a loved one in pain. The running water sound is irritating. I want to rip down the walls that surround me. Nobody utters a word, contributing to the silence of the room. Even a cough can set you off and split your ears open.

The only calming presence I have is Caydon. He’s held me close ever since we’ve arrived. He’s allowed me to grip his hand too tightly when I feel my emotions overpower me. And he’s the only person who hasn’t lied to me by telling me that it is going to be okay.

Finally, the doctor enters the room looking for me. “Reece?”

“That’s me,” I answer quietly.

“Ah,” the doctor says. He walks toward me and introduces himself to me. He wants to go to his office to discuss my father’s condition in private.

I look at the people in the room…my uncle, my cousin, Annalisa, Shorty, Caydon and numerous friends of my dad’s. They all love and care for my father just as much as I do. “You can tell me what you need to tell me here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” I see the relief on everyone’s face. They’re happy I’ve included them.

I can already tell by the doctor’s face that the news isn’t what I want to hear. He gives me the basics. The hospital staff thinks it is best to put my father in an induced coma for his brain injury. They want to control the swelling and prevent further damage to the brain. By keeping him under, they think the brain can heal. Another reason for the coma is to keep his fits of rage under control.

My dad’s intracranial pressure is going to be an important number to watch in order to evaluate if he is ready to be "woken up" from the "coma." The shorter the time under the better off he is. But sometimes there are complications from the treatment. The side effects can be a strain on the cardiovascular system. Other side effects include impaired immune response and infection. My dad could also get pneumonia or blood clots.

There is a huge risk for him by opting for this treatment. And the doctor wants me to make the decision. If I don’t opt for this treatment, he could sustain more damage to his brain.
No pressure.

I take Annalisa’s hands. There’s no doubt in my mind that she should be a part of this decision as well. After all, she is going to be his wife one day. It’s up to me to make sure that happens. “Annalisa, what do you think?”

She gives me a weak smile. “Reece, we should do whatever is going to bring him back to us.”

I turn around and look at the doctor. “Let’s do it.”

“Good decision. There are a few release forms I need you to sign. And, if you’d like, you can see your dad. He’s not responsive right now. But you can talk to him,” the doctor informs me.

“His fiancée would like to see him too.” I make sure Annalisa will get to see him too.

The doctor faces both Annalisa and me. “As long as you give her the permission, Reece, it is okay.”

“Thank you, Reece for including me. It’s so important to me,” Annalisa thanks me.

“Don’t mention it. Besides, you are going to be his wife. You should make these decisions,” I choke the words out.

If he makes it.

Annalisa hugs me and sighs in my ear. “I love you, Reece.”

“Love you, too.”

* * *

I get to go first.
Lucky me.

Caydon waits for me in the waiting room. Only one person can visit at a time. Right now, only Annalisa and me are approved visitors. And our time is limited to fifteen-minute intervals.

Nothing can prepare you for what you see when a loved one is in critical condition. The amount of medical devices jutting from his body is overwhelming to look at. There is an oxygen breathing tube down his throat. Another tube is protruding from his neck. He is hooked up to a heart monitor. My heart breaks to look at him.

When I was a little girl, I thought my dad was Superman. My dad was made of steel. Looking at him, in this moment, I can only see a beaten down human. Tears roll down my face because now he is a prisoner inside of his body.

I pray he doesn’t know what is going on. At the same time, I pray that he knows that I am here.

I take a seat by his bedside and take his hand. I don’t say anything at all at first. It’s minutes before I can get my sniffling and heaving under control. I barely can form a sentence. All I can do now is be a presence in the room.

But I owe him more than that.
Don’t I?

I take a deep breath and open my heart. What comes out of my mouth surprises the hell out of me.

“You know that you are my superhero, Daddy. You are. I never told you that. I was too busy being angry at myself for abandoning you to live with mom. You tried to tell me not to go. You even fought her for me. In the end, you wanted me to be happy. You sacrificed your happiness so I could try to find mine. And, I love you for that.” I sniffle and lay my head on his chest. “My indestructible Daddy, what would I do without you? There are so many things that you need to be here for. You have to get married to Annalisa. You have to watch me graduate college. You have to walk me down the aisle one day. There is no one here that could take your place.” I heave.

“You are the best daddy anyone could ever want and I feel so very lucky, proud and honored to be called your daughter. You are the most honest, loyal and intelligent man I have ever known and I am still amazed at how really wonderful you are. You are my Hero…my Superman,” I admit. “You are so brave, thoughtful, kind and considerate. I've always appreciated you, loved you and greatly admired you. And I know these are all things that I should tell you when you are awake.” The tears fall freely now. “I’m so disappointed that I never took the time to tell you these things. Now, I may never get that chance. For that, I am an awful daughter. Even though I don’t deserve you in my life, I can’t go on without you. You can’t leave me, Daddy. You just can’t. I just got you back,” I plead.

There’s a knock on the door. I yell to whomever it is that I am almost done. “They are kicking me out, Daddy. So, I have to speak quickly. I’m not entitled to ask you for favors. But, I need one desperately.” I pause. “I need you to fight…just like you always told me to do. Fight. Fight for me. I know you always have but I need you to keep going. Because, Daddy, I can’t live without you.” I lean in and kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll be right here, Daddy. I love you.”

* * *

I never had anyone show me how to be a man. Since my mother raised me, I’ve always depended on her to give me the guidance I needed to be a good guy. My mother raised me well. I can’t complain. She had to be a father and a mother.

In her efforts to teach her me how to be a man, she always focused on what I shouldn't be doing. I've spent my whole life trying to not be my father. I spent my whole life trying
not
to be somebody instead of trying to
be
somebody.

I get that now. I need to be somebody to help Reece.

“Baby, what are you thinking about?” my mom asks.

We’re still in the waiting room. We’ve been here for at least eighteen hours. I’m fucking exhausted from thinking and worrying.

I face my mom and answer the most honest way I can. “Mom, how do I help her? How do I help you?”

My mom gives me a teary smile. “Oh Caydon, I wish I could answer that. I can’t. I don’t know what Reece needs and I sure as hell don’t know what I need right now.”

I smirk at her. At least she is honest. I quickly remind myself that she is newly engaged and I haven’t even acknowledged it. I take her hand in mine and examine the ring. The diamond is modest and clear. The design is plain but pretty. It’s totally my mom. Mark nailed it. He gave her a ring that clearly captures the essence of my mother.

“He’s a good guy, Ma,” I say.

My mom starts crying again and twists the ring. “Yeah, the best. Caydon, I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t make it. I’ve never had a man care for me the way he does. I really love him.”

My mind drifts back to hours earlier when my biological father visited me. I doubt he has changed much over the years. That is the type of guy my mom is used to. “My dad came to visit today. I was going to tell you but all of this happened. He defines the word asshole.”

Shock fills her eyes. “What? What did he want?”

I laugh. “To tie up loose ends. Instead, he got his ass kicked.”

“Caydon, why did you beat him up?” she asks with concern.

A huge grin spreads across my face. “Oh, I didn’t do it. Reece did.”

Reece struts over to where we are sitting. “Reece did what?”

I take her hand in mine. “I was telling my mom how you handed my dad his ass this afternoon.” Reece’s face is tear stained. Her eyes are blood shot. Damn, she’s been crying. I feel helpless.

She gives my mom and me a tired smile. “Yeah, he deserved it.”

My mom hugs her. “I have no doubt.” My mom’s face grows grim. “How’s our guy Reece?”

Reece’s face falls. I hear her silently cry. It’s killing me because there is nothing I can do to make this better. “There’s so many wires and tubes, Annalisa. It’s really hard to tell. He doesn’t look like my dad.” My mom puts her hand over her mouth to stifle her sob. “It’s your turn to see him. They will let one of us stay with him.”

My mom sniffles. “Go home with Caydon and get some sleep. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay with him first.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Reece says at first.

My mom grabs a hold of Reece’s face. She kisses her forehead. “We are going to be here for a few days, Reece. We need to take care of ourselves too.” She looks Reece in the eye. “I’ll be with him until you come back. Rest. Eat. Shower. Then, you can take over for me.”

Softy, Reece agrees. “Okay. But if anything changes, please let me know right away.”

My mom nods and hugs us before she moves to sit by her future husband’s side.

* * *

It’s not long before we are both fast asleep in my bed. Only a few hours into it, my sleep is interrupted. I snuggle in close to Reece holding onto her as tightly as I can. My stomach clenches when I look at her sleeping. Her normal peaceful face is haunted with tragic events. And there is nothing I can do to take that away.

Her pain is my pain. The helpless feeling is back. Air pours in and out of my lungs but I’m still struggling to breathe. So, this is what it really is like to love someone.

Son of a bitch.

She stirs against me. Instantly, I’m hard. Bad timing, I know. It’s just anytime she is near I’m turned on. I inch away from her so she doesn’t think I’m an insensitive dickhead.

“Caydon?” she whispers.

“Yeah, baby. I’m here.”

Her back is to my chest. I can’t see her face but I know she is crying. I hear her sniffle. My guts twist inside. “My heart hurts.”

Fucking hell.

“If I could mend it, I would. Tell me what to do Reece?” I open myself to her.

She flops her body over to face me. “Make love to me.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been through a lot. You should rest.”

Do the right thing.

Shaking her head she looks me straight in the eye. “I need you, please.”

Reece begins to kiss my chest and moves her lips to mine. I kiss her as if my life depends on it. And it does. My life depends on her. She is all that matters to me.

Everything happens very quickly. Clothes are removed in haste. Before I can process what is happening, Reece is on top, straddling me.

I guide my cock into her warmth. We both gasp as we join together. I guide her hips with my hands but she gets the hang of it within moments. Once I feel that she is comfortable, I push myself deeper inside of her.

And I’m lost. Lost in her. Lost in love.

I don’t know where I am when I’m inside of her, but it is a place I never want to leave. I imagine this is what heaven is like. It has to be. My heart is filled to the top with love for this girl. Watching her move above me is like watching an angel.

Her drives become drawn out and her eyebrows pinch together. I feel her walls tighten around me. My eyes widen, soaking in the beautiful image above me.

I press my dick up, delving into her wet release. Grabbing at her skin on her thighs, I buck against her like a wild animal. I let myself explode inside of her.

She collapses onto my chest. Breathing heavily, I caress the light coating of sweat on her back. If I could stay like this forever, I would. I would keep her here in this blissful moment.

Instead, I know I am going to have to return Reece to the realities of an unkind world where the people we love leave us, get hurt, or die. The very thought of that makes my stomach churn.

“I love you,” I whisper.

“I’m afraid to tell you I love you, Caydon. Everyone I love leaves me. They either die or go away. If you go away, I will die inside. You’re the one thing that I have left.”

Goddammit.
This is what I feared. She’s blaming herself. I know what it is like to be in a place where you feel like you have no one…like you pushed everyone away just to keep your heart safe. I can’t bear the thought that she is feeling like this…as if she is watching everyone she loves disappear slowly.

Don’t fall apart, baby.

“Miracles happen. Look at us. We lost each other. But we found each other again. Your dad is going to fight to come back to you.” I pick her chin up to look at me. “I know this. How? Because he loves you just as much as I love you. And that kind of love is determined to go on.”