Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) (12 page)

Isabelle

Last night, the five of us sat at the kitchen table and shared a meal. For the first time in my twenty-one years, I felt like I was a part of a real family, something to be proud of...something I could get used to. Those thoughts bring a load of guilt—guilt that I’m enjoying life while Damian could be somewhere suffering or possibly even dead.

“You ready?” Kiran asks over my shoulder.

“Yep. Are you sure I’m not going to make you late?” I question, which causes Kiran to smirk.

“I work for Gavin. Believe me, it’s okay.”

Kiran casually wraps his arm around my shoulders as we walk to his car. Once we’re in, he starts in about last night. “When you said Damian has people on his payroll, I have no idea if that means good law abiding citizens or street thugs. Until you talk to him—and I mean only Damian and not that boy whose
only your friend
—I don’t want you to trust anyone except Gavin, Kate, and myself. Do you understand?”

I nod my head and force myself not to react to the way he spoke about Manuel. “I agree. If a cop or a PI is trailing me, either Damian used a fake name or they’re dirty. Not many law abiding citizens, as you like to call them, accept money from a known cartel member,” I add.

“Exactly,” Kiran replies, nodding his head. “We agree, then. If anything happens, call Gavin or me, and if it’s an emergency, call 911.”

“I can’t. I’m using a fake ID. If the police look into me too closely, I could get sent back to Mexico.” My voice cracks with fear.

“Bullshit,” he replies. “Whatever fake ID you’re using was good enough at the bank to open a fucking account. I’m sure it will be good enough for the police as well. Not to mention, you’re an American citizen.” My eyes go straight to Kiran’s as he reaches out for my hand. “Damian raised you, but it doesn’t change the fact that legally you’re Hayden Johnson, and Hayden is an American citizen.” I start shaking my head in panic.

“I can’t ...” I trail off, forcing myself to relax. “I can’t admit to being Hayden. If I do...” I look away as I process the betrayal Damian would feel if I sold him out. Since the moment I learned the truth, my anger has been focused on Kate and how Damian so effortlessly cares about her. In the last year, I’ve never once stopped to focus on my birth family or what could happen to Damian if the truth came out.

“If push comes to shove, you have to do everything in your power to take care of yourself. I don’t know Damian, but I believe he wants you to be safe—at any cost.”

“I agree, but I can’t...betray him.” I sigh. I’m not ready to return to Mexico but I hate living in limbo. If I knew for a fact what’s happened to Damian, it would make any decision I make easier. I can’t, and more importantly, I won’t sell my father out, even if that means I return to Poza Rica and live a lonely life locked away in my bedroom.

When I finally glance back at Kiran, he’s giving me a soft smile. “I’ve had a hard time trying to put a finger on exactly what it is about you that struck a chord with me, but I think outside of your beauty, it’s this. You have every reason in the world to throw your father under a bus, but instead, it’s the last thing you’re willing to do.” He smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

“When you love somebody, or more importantly, when they love you, protecting them is easy,” I tell him. I know Kiran doesn’t love me. I know he’s nowhere near loving me, but the fact that he’s already this worried about my safety makes me believe when he does fall in love he’s going to make a great husband and probably father one day.

“We better get going,” I add. The drive to the bookstore is done in silence. When I’m about to get out of the car, I turn to say goodbye only to find Kiran is already out and walking around to my side of the car. “What are you doing?” I question.

“Walking you in,” he adds, narrowing his eyes as if I asked a dumb question.

“Isabelle, someone was following us last night. You act like it’s not a big deal but it is. Until we know who it is and what they want, then...sorry, but I’m going to hover.” He runs his hand through his hair and sighs. I smile to myself at how protective he already is of me. If anyone back home tried to pull this same thing, I would be pissed, but the idea that Kiran cares this much excites me.

“It’s not that I’m not concerned, Kiran. It’s that I’m immune to this type of situation. Someone is always following me. Someone is always out to exact some sick form of revenge,” I casually say with a shrug as Kiran’s mouth drops open.

“Well, I’m not immune to this shit,” he growls back, causing me to smile.

“Come on.” I grab his hand and the two of us walk into the store.

Instantly, my mind and body start to relax. While I’ve been stuck in Poza Rica, I’ve escaped the world I was living in through reading. As a little girl, I discovered the magic a good book can deliver, and no matter how my future turns out, books will always have a place in my life.

I turn to Kiran and grin. “You’re suddenly very happy,” he says.

“I love being surrounded by books. I almost feel like I should pay them for allowing me to hang out here all day.” I laugh at the expression on his face.

“If it makes you happy, then that’s all that matters,” he adds, which causes my heart to start racing. A lot of men have gone out of their way to ensure I’m safe but none of them cared about my happiness.

“Izzy.” I turn and see Jena Walters, the woman who manages the store, and hopefully, my new friend.

“Jena, this is my friend, Kiran,” I say, waving my hand in his direction.

“Nice to meet you,” Kiran says.

“Likewise.” Jena doesn’t appear to be too taken by Kiran. She isn’t drooling over him like I’ve seen other girls do.

“I’ll be back when I get off work. If you’re done before five, call me and I’ll come get you,” he says as he gives my hand another squeeze.

“Thanks, Kiran,” I softly say. With a nod of his head, he steps away, leaving me with a smile on my face.

“Boyfriend?” Jena questions.

“I wish. We’re more friends exploring the idea of something more,” I answer with a shrug.

Jena gives me a serious look. “Let’s get you clocked in.”

“Okay.” I can’t keep the excitement out of my voice. I’m about to start my first real job and it’s in a bookstore of all places. Some dreams do come true, even the ones that don’t last.

****

“I can’t decide if having you work here is a good thing or not,” Jena says as I’m finishing my shift.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?” I draw in a breath as I wait for her answer.

“No, not exactly,” she admits.

Jena manages the store—The Next Page—which has a nice area with a few chairs and a comfortable couch where customers can relax and read if they want. There’s also a refreshment bar that serves coffee, smoothies, and a variety of drinks and snacks. All day, I’ve jumped back and forth between the bar and cash register, helping wherever I was needed. I thought I did a great job, but I have no work experience to compare it to.

“The problem is we’re not a coffee or smoothie shop. We offer refreshments because we have people who will buy a book and stay for hours reading. However, today, after having you here for a few hours, we had more than our normal amount of customers buying drinks.” Jena clears her throat. “Male customers,” she adds. “At this rate, I’ll have to hire another person to work the cash register while you serve drinks all day.” She shakes her head, and for the life of me, I can’t tell if she’s annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Jena smirks. “I should have known better. I was ready to hire you two seconds after I met you. Wishful thinking on my part that you played for the other team,” she says with a chuckle.

“What team?” I reply as a light goes off. “Shhhh,” I whisper as Jena starts really laughing.

“Yep, then you went and burst my bubble by walking in with Surfer Ken.”

“Surfer Ken?” I repeat, puzzled.

“Sometime when you’re draped on his arm, take a look in the mirror. You two look like Ken and Barbie.” She shakes her head, fighting back a smile. “How does Tuesdays and Thursdays and the occasional Saturday sound?”

“Sounds perfect.” I can’t hide the excitement in my voice.

“Geez, you’re a goof,” she says, looking at me with inviting eyes.

“I have this Saturday covered. That means I’ll see you Tuesday,” she adds before she shakes her head and walks to the back of the store.

I sent Kiran a text twenty minutes ago to tell him I was ready to go. I turn and end up running straight into someone. “Sorry,” I mumble as strong hands wrap around my arms.

“Babe, I thought you promised to be on alert and watchful of your surroundings.” I relax when I discover it’s Kiran who has his hands on me.

“Sorry. I’m a little bummed,” I tell him.

“Why?” he asks as his eyes scan the store. “I’ll tell you in the car.” Feeling bold, I reach out and lace my hand with his. The fact that I can touch him whenever I want makes me both excited and terrified, and I’m hoping I don’t do something that sets us back.

Kiran walks me to my side of the car and opens the door for me. After I get in, he walks around and hops in but makes no attempt to start the car.

“Well?” he questions. I sigh with frustration. “I thought when I met Jena that we clicked. That we’d make great friends,” I say, sounding depressed.

“What happened? Is she a bitch now that she’s your boss?” he questions.

“No. She’s still nice, but...she hired me because she hoped I was gay and willing to go out with her.”

Kiran’s eyes widen seconds before his body starts shaking with laughter. “Oh shit,” he says between breaths.

“It’s not funny. I thought she liked me,” I say, pouting.

“Oh, babe. It sounds like she liked you all right,” he adds, trying his best to stop laughing. I chew on my lip and watch him as he starts to gain some control.

“I’m sorry. But that was funny,” he admits. “You probably should take her actions as a compliment because you’re fucking gorgeous and anyone—man or woman—can see your beauty from a mile away.”

The flutters are back and in full bloom. Kiran’s eyes lock with mine as he slowly leans forward. My body naturally drifts toward him.

His gaze stays locked with mine as he places his hand on my chin and brings his mouth down. He brushes his lips with mine, arousing my body in ways that are completely foreign. As his tongue pushes past my lips, his hands move down my neck, then slowly to my chest.

His hand cups my breast, causing me to moan. Kiran’s thumb rubs against my nipple until it’s rock hard. My body sparks with need, and for the first time in my life, I’m ready to jump in a man’s lap and take what my body so desperately needs.

Kiran pulls away from my mouth, panting for air, watching me closely. After what feels like forever, he speaks up. “Do you want more? Do you want to do more...with me?” he softly questions.

I nod my head but Kiran frowns. “Words, Isabelle. I want you to tell me what you want,” he states as his eyes remain focused on me.

“I want you.” My cheeks flush, but I force myself to continue. “I want to have sex with you,” I say nervously, twisting in my seat.

He calmly nods his head and takes a deep breath before asking me something I wasn’t expecting. “Are you a virgin?” Embarrassment overcomes the desire I was feeling moments ago. I start to turn my head away, but Kiran immediately reaches out and places his hand on my chin, forcing my eyes back to his.

“Hey. There’s nothing wrong with that,” he says in an attempt to calm my nerves.

“Yes,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’m a virgin.” But not for lack of trying. Any man within ten years of my age would have been shot for looking at me too closely. It was a risk no one was willing to take.

Kiran keeps his hand on my chin and looks almost nervous. “And you’re sure you want to give that to me?” His breathing has picked up. I can see his chest rising and falling with every breath he takes.

“I’m a virgin because my father would have killed any man who dared to look at me. I’m not a virgin because I want to be. I want to experience life. I want to do what normal women my age do. I want ...” I take a deep breath. “I want to be wild. I want to be free. I want to live life. I want to walk down a street where I don’t have to constantly look over my shoulder, and I feel guilty as hell for wanting any those things because if my wish comes true, it will be at my father’s expense.” I push down my tears because tears are for the weak, and if Damian taught me anything, it’s that I’ll never act weak again.

“Hey,” Kiran softly says, bringing me out of my thoughts. “I just wanted to be sure. That you were sure,” he adds.

I nod my head. “I am.”

“This weekend, I’ll rent us a nice hotel room in the city. I don’t get to keep you forever, but I’ll make sure the night we share isn’t one you’ll ever forget.” My heart takes a dive to my stomach.

When it comes to dating, both Kiran and I lack any experience. Even though I have nothing to compare it to, I’m certain you shouldn’t remind the person you’re making plans with that your time together will be short lived.

I know I won’t be here forever. I know I won’t be with Kiran forever, but I hate the way he casually reminds me that all too soon our lives will move in different directions.