Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) (15 page)

I nod my head and smile. “Yes, I’m sure. I want this more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.”

Kiran’s lustful eyes watch me for a second before he pushes his underwear the rest of the way down his legs, grabs a condom out of this wallet, and makes his way back to the bed. He crawls up my body and tosses the condom on the pillow. He pulls my panties the rest of the way down and tosses them off the bed. Then he moves to my shoes. “As much as I would love to fuck you with these on, I don’t want your first time to be anything but perfect.” Kiran gives me a shy smile before he makes quick work of removing my shoes. Once they’re gone, he crawls back up and reaches for the condom.

I’ve read books...I’ve watched movies, but nothing could have prepared me for the nervousness I’m feeling. I swallow as I watch Kiran rip the condom wrapper open and roll it on. He brings his eyes back to mine as his fingers move to my core. He rubs me up and down, spreading my wetness over his fingers. Kiran removes his hand and places his cock at my entrance. Instead of slamming home, he slowly fills me, inch by inch.

My eyes widen from the burn I feel as I stretch to fit him. He slowly pulls out, only to push back in. My eyes scrunch.

“Are you okay?” he sweetly asks.

I swallow and nod my head. “Yes...just...go slow.”

“Relax,” he says before he places a soft kiss on my lips. I force my brain to turn off and slowly the burn I was feeling starts to fade as pleasure takes over. Kiran’s eyes glaze over as his mouth drops open, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he keeps thrusting in and out a little faster than he was moments before.

“Jesus. Your pussy feels so fucking good.” His words send another wave of desire to my core. “You’re so hot and tight.” His thumb finds my clit and he starts rubbing. My hips rock forward as he continues to plunge into me.

“Isabelle, I’m close. I need you to come, please,” he begs as his thumb and cock continue pushing me closer to the edge.

“Baby ...” he says with a strangled moan that sends me over the edge. My toes curl and I start coming on his dick as he continues to drive in and out of me. “Oh, fuck, you feel so damn good when you come,” he growls before his body shakes from his release.

Kiran slows down until he finally stops moving, trapping me under him. I knew my life would change when I finally had sex, but I never expected a man to make me feel as safe as Kiran does. When he finally pulls back and looks at me, my heart suddenly feels full. “You might not always be with me, but this moment will.” A bashful smile takes over his face.

“Hey, isn’t that my line?” I add with a giggle.

Kiran smiles. “Maybe.” He leans in closer. “I don’t know if I was anyone’s first before and I was too drunk to remember my own, but this...tonight...is something I’ll never forget.” His words shatters any wall I had around my heart, and for the first time since I met Kiran Clark, I know when I’m forced to say goodbye, my life might shatter as well.

Isabelle

Kiran and I didn’t talk much last night. Instead, after we had sex, he carried me to the bathroom and we took a shower together. He slowly washed every inch of my body. Afterward, we dried ourselves off and climbed into bed without saying another word.

I don’t know what Kiran is thinking, but my mind remains on how I don’t want to lose the man I’m falling in love with. It’s possible that my emotions are stuck on the fact that Kiran is the first man I’ve slept with, but I think it’s more than that. If I had met a random man at a bar and agreed to have sex with him, I’m confident I wouldn’t feel this way. Instead, my mind travels back to the second Kiran rang Kate’s doorbell to pick me up.

When I went out with Jared, Kiran made a joke about him not even coming to the door, but when he had the chance, he made sure that even though he wasn’t the first man to take me out, he was the first one to do it right. Now, it doesn’t matter if I live in Denver or Poza Rica, Kiran has set the bar impossibly high for the next man, but for some reason, I think that was his goal.

I take a deep, calming breath, trying to reassure my fragile heart that it’s not in fact in love with anyone when Kiran reaches out and brushes my hair away from my face.

“Hey, beautiful, did you sleep good?” he asks.

I turn around and inhale his scent with a grin on my face.

“I slept great. How about you?” When he doesn’t respond, I look up.

His eyes narrow as a puzzled look crosses his face. “Yeah, I did.” He almost sounds disappointed.

“Is this a first for you? Waking up with a woman?” I ask, faking confidence.

Kiran sighs. “No, this isn’t a first for me. I’ve woken up to more than my fair share of women before. Most of the time, I can’t remember their names, and never once—until today—have I woken with a female that actually knew mine.” His tone turned irritated as his body is locked tight with tension.

I somehow keep the emotions running through me from showing on my face. But to be honest, I’m confused. Right now, Kiran is someone between the man who took me out last night and the guy who acted like a jerk when I first arrived.

I know Kiran’s been with other women before, and while I have no real desire to think about it, I’m also not jealous or upset. He has a past, everyone does, and I know firsthand how horrible it feels to have someone hold your past over your head, but the way Kiran said his comment...it was without regard for my feelings, and that’s not the man who went out of his way to impress me yesterday.

Without a word, I climb out of the bed. Kiran reaches out to stop me, but I brush his hand away. “I need to use the bathroom,” I say without looking back. Once I close the door, my emotions take over. I know I can’t walk back out there without looking like a hot mess. I decide a hot shower will do me a world of good.

I have no idea how long I was in the bathroom. However, by the time I walk out—in only a towel—Kiran has room service waiting on the table.

“I ordered a little of everything,” he says as I walk over and sit down. I place a pancake and sausage on my plate then start eating. I stop when I notice Kiran isn’t eating. Instead, he watches me.

“What?” I softly ask as his eyes drift close then open again.

“I’m sorry I acted like an ass earlier.” He runs his hands through his hair before his eyes find mine again. “What I said was the truth, but ...” He pauses as his jaw ticks. “But you need to know the type of man I really am. Yesterday, I showed you the type of man I wished I could be, but that wasn’t real.”

His eyes flash as he draws in a long breath. “The real me uses women and most of the time I don’t bother to make sure they know what my true intentions are. I’ve been known to say or do whatever it takes to get a woman to agree to sex.” His shoulders sag and his voice sounds defeated. “It’s because of my empty promises that I don’t give them my real name. I don’t want to see the hurt in their eyes when they discover I’ve used them.” He shrugs. “When you asked if I’d ever woken up with a woman before, it felt like a reminder of the person I really am.”

I shake my head. “You are the guy from yesterday. Maybe you don’t act that way every day, but to be honest, I’d be worried if you did. You made sure that yesterday was perfect but people aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect, and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is because that’s more pressure than I can handle.”

I stand up and walk around the table until I’m standing directly next to him. “Kiran, from what I can tell, you’ve gone out of your way to not act like your father, but you’re lost on what your role with a woman is. You lie and you end up feeling like crap, but if you’re honest then you could risk hurting someone you might end up liking.”

I grab his hand and smile. “Have you ever considered that your ability to hold down a job, or the way you are with Kate and Gavin, and definitely with Callie, are signs that you’re nothing like him?” His eyes flare with panic. “I haven’t known you long but I know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for someone you care about.” Slowly I climb into his lap. “Maybe it’s time you let go of your fears and start living the life you deserve.” Kiran’s eyes dance back and forth between mine and I feel his heart beating against my hand on his chest.

After several long moments, his features relax. Kiran wraps his hands around my neck and locks his mouth with mine. Our kiss starts off slow, but Kiran quickly takes over, picking me up while he walks us to the bed where he softly lays me down.

My towel flops open, leaving me naked as his unrelenting eyes take me in. Kiran carefully climbs up the bed until he’s lying next to me. With our eyes still locked, he trails a finger softly up my stomach until he reaches my breast. Slowly, he leans forward until his mouth softly bites my nipple. An ache shoots through my core as his mouth moves further down until he stops between my legs.

Kiran runs his nose down my center, humming in pleasure. Even though my eyes are locked on him, I wasn’t prepared for his tongue to dart out and lick me. “Oh God,” I breathe out as his fingers spread me open and his tongue pushes inside.

I melt into his touch as his tongue continues to feast on me. I’m ready to scream from the way he’s delightfully tormenting me when his finger rubs against my clit.

My ache has turns into a burn and the need to find relief skyrockets. Kiran’s mouth moves up until he sucks my clit into his mouth. He moans and I feel the vibration through my body.

“You taste so fucking good,” he says before adding more pressure to my clit, which sends me over. I gasp in pleasure as my back arches off the bed. I push my core deeper into his mouth until my release finally stops. I struggle to catch my breath as I lay here relishing the way my body feels.

I bite my lip and take a glance at him to find his eyes glazed over with lust. Feeling brave and wanting to repay him the same favor, I push on his chest until he lies back on the bed. I kiss my way slowly down to his cock then pause.

I nervously swallow, wondering if I’m about to give him the world’s worst blowjob. “Relax, babe. As long as you don’t bite me, there’s nothing you can do that won’t feel incredible.” His encouraging words are exactly what I need. I wrap my hand around his thick length and lick him. Kiran hisses seconds before I suck him deep into my mouth. “Oh, Jesus,” he groans while I smile to myself.

I awkwardly have my hands on each side of him, resting on the bed as I push my mouth as far down as I can go. Kiran reaches out and places one of my hands on the bottom of his dick. As my mouth moves up, he moves my hand with it until I catch on and his hand drops away.

I suck him as deep into my mouth as I can, moving my hand with each stroke until I start speeding up. For some reason my free hand moves to his sack and I start rubbing him until he moans and tugs on my hair.

“I’m going to come,” he rushes out, but I keep working him up and down until his body tightens and I feel something warm and salty hit the back of my throat. I quickly swallow it down as his body begins to relax. I glide him out of my mouth then look up into his eyes, and I’m rewarded with a satisfied smirk.

“That was ...” he trails off, trying to catch his breath. “Fucking amazing.”

I move up the bed then curl around his body, wishing I could bottle up the feeling I have right now and keep it, and possibly Kiran, forever.

****

Kiran

I slide out from under Isabelle and walk to the bathroom. I quietly close the door and flip on the light to look at myself in the mirror. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I mumble. I splash water on my face as uneasiness settles in. Somehow, I’ve allowed Isabelle to get under my skin, and I have no idea what I can do to keep her. If I even want to keep her. Shit, of course I want to keep her, that’s the problem. When it comes down to it, though, what I want doesn’t matter.

Every damn time she talks about her life in Mexico, I do my best not to act disappointed that she plans to return to her old life, but it’s getting harder every second I’m with her.

I walk back into the bedroom where Isabelle is sound asleep. Her blonde hair is spread across her pillow. Her back slowly rises and falls. My heart speeds up just from looking at her. I pull the chair up next to the bed and I continue to watch her peacefully sleep.

I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve spent my entire adult life avoiding the exact situation I’m in: feeling vulnerable and powerless to another person. Even though she knows she means something to me, Isabelle has no idea the control she wields over me, and for my peace of mind, I hope she doesn’t discover how much she really means to me before I discover if I have what it takes to keep her.

****

Isabelle

When checkout time on Sunday arrives, I’m almost heartbroken because after this weekend I have no idea where I stand with Kiran. I can’t kid myself any longer. I want something real with him, but no matter how many walls I knock down, I know I won’t be here long enough to break past all of them. He’s still scared of the unknown, that much I’ve noticed.

Truthfully, it’s not fair of me to push. The last thing I want is for Kiran to fall in love with me only for me to disappear from his life.