“I’m not a real princess,” I tell her.
“But you’re really pretty just like a princess. I know my friends would like to see you,” she adds with a pouty lip.
“Callie,” Gavin says in a firm tone, causing her face to fall.
“Maybe we could take a picture together and you can take it to school.” Her face lights up from my suggestion.
“Yay,” she says while clapping her hands. I look at Kate, who’s watching my every move. I can tell what I told her earlier is still on her mind, and while I never meant to upset her, I can’t risk her becoming any more attached than she already is.
As dinner winds down, Callie takes Gavin’s cell phone and walks up to me. “I’m here for my picture,” she says as I sit down on the couch next to Kiran. I smile as she snaps a picture then I lean back and rest my head on his shoulder. I glance at the other end of the couch when I feel someone sit down and I spot Alex.
He shyly smiles. “Can I take a picture with you?” His question catches me off guard. I told everyone here that I could leave at any moment. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they’d want to keep a memory once I’m gone.
“Sure. I’d love to take a picture with you.” I scoot closer to Alex as Kate takes the phone from Callie and snaps a couple of pictures.
“Now move closer to Kiran,” she says. Kiran acts truly shocked, but after glancing at me, he slowly sits up and moves his arm around my waist. I smile and I can only hope how I’m really feeling in this exact moment shows on my face.
“Here, let me take one of Alex, Belle, and you, babe,” Gavin says to Kate. Kiran hops up and Kate gladly sits down.
I smile again as I take a seat between the only two blood relatives I’ve ever met. “Geez,” Gavin says, bringing the phone down as he continues to stare at the three of us.
“It’s fucking eerie,” Kiran adds as his face snaps to Callie’s. “You can’t repeat that.” Everyone laughs, but as Gavin and Kiran’s eyes come back toward us, they still seem in awe.
“What?” I finally ask when I can’t stand it anymore. “The three of you. You look so much alike it’s ...”
“Eerie,” Kiran repeats with a laugh. Kate hops up and starts scanning through the photos as Kiran takes his place next to me.
“Does your dad know you’ve moved out here already?” Gavin asks Alex.
He shrugs. “He’s trying to get his shit together but...we’ll see,” he sadly adds.
My mind wonders to Alex’s comment. Moments like these are hard to process. Alex is talking about my biological father, but once again, I feel nothing. I think meeting him will be a thousand times harder than meeting Alex or Kate because, right or wrong, on some level, I’ll always compare him to Damian.
The guys start talking about Gavin’s company, and I learn that Tanner caught a flight home while I was a hot mess upstairs. Callie interrupts to tell everyone how she signed up to play soccer. That’s how the night continues. One casual story followed by another.
I kept quiet, cuddled into Kiran, listening to everyone share normal everyday life events. I laughed at some and envied others but I stayed in the moment. I stayed with the people in this room and I didn’t allow my mind to wander back to Damian or my life in Poza Rica.
I don’t have a lifetime of wonderful memories, but I wanted to ensure I had at least one night where I was an average twenty-one-year-old girl who spent the evening with her family.
“Callie, it’s time for bed. You have school in the morning,” Kate says.
Callie doesn’t protest too much as she was almost asleep in Gavin’s arms. “Okay,” she mumbles as Gavin stands up and walks up the stairs.
Kate looks over at Alex. “You can stay in the guest room. I’ll have Kate move her things into Kiran’s room.”
My cheeks flush. I’m positive Kate knows what Kiran and I did when we stayed in a hotel together, but the idea of sleeping in the same bed with Kiran under her roof feels awkward.
“Oh, umm,” I say, glancing over at Kiran, who smiles and nods his head yes. “Yeah, that’s fine,” I quietly reply.
“Are you sure? I was going to get a hotel room for a few days,” Alex says to Kate.
“Nonsense. Save your money and stay here,” she says before giving him a hug.
Kate didn’t grow up knowing Alex was her cousin, but in a very short amount of time, she’s grown comfortable around him—a level of comfort I could only dream of one day having between us.
“I need to grab my things,” Alex says to no one in particular.
Once he’s out of hearing range, I tug on Kiran’s arm. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying in your room?”
Kiran smirks. “Am I sure I want a fucking gorgeous woman available for my every urge sleeping next to me all night?” He cocks his eyebrow before breaking out in a huge smile. I lightly slap his arm.
“I’m serious,” I add with a laugh.
“So am I. It’s fine. I...I actually like the idea of going to sleep with you every night in my bed...lying next to me.” He bites his lip, almost appearing nervous.
I’m about to pull his mouth down to mine when Alex walks back into the room.
“We’ll show you your room,” Kiran says before the three of us walk up the stairs. I step into the room I’ve been using and gather a few things before walking back out.
“Are you sure you’re okay giving up this room?” Alex presses. I’m not sure if he’s worried he’s putting me out or bothered by the idea that I’m going to sleep in the same bed as Kiran.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, and I’m not lying. For the first time in my life, I’m actually more than fine.
Isabelle
I wash my face and brush my teeth before making my way to Kiran’s bedroom. When I walk in, he’s already in the bed waiting for me. I try my best to forget he’s in the room as I change into my nightgown, but when I hear his breath hitch as I strip off my shirt, my mind fills with erotic thoughts. I flip off the light and make my way to the bed.
At the hotel, we lavishly messed around but we only had sex once. Kiran was worried I’d be too sore for another round, and while I was sore, I was still more than willing to try again. Now lying in his bed, I’m not sure if two days is considered long enough in his eyes.
My hand slides over his stomach. “Tomorrow,” he whispers into my ear. “Give yourself until tomorrow and I’ll be more than happy to take you again.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Thank you for allowing me to stay with you.” I curl tighter against his body.
He chuckles. “No need to thank me. Having you pressed against my body is exactly where I want you. If Alex weren’t here, I’d probably be sneaking into your room.” His words cause my flutters to return.
“You like Alex?”
Kiran answers immediately. “Of course. He’s a great guy who, like a lot of people in this house, was given the short end of the stick, but he never acts like anything but a stand-up guy.” I start drawing circles on Kiran’s chest with my finger as he plays with my hair.
“He’s been working dead-end jobs, paying for college one semester at a time. Gavin offered him a job at his company with the hope of getting him away from his hometown and the rut he’s been living in. Not to mention, he loves being around Kate.”
I smile. “I’m happy they have each other,” I tell him. “That has to make life easier on both of them,” I add.
Kiran tilts my head back and looks at me. The room is dark but I can still see his eyes. “That’s what makes you a remarkable woman, Isabelle. The fact that you can say that without an ounce of jealousy is more than most people could do.”
I draw in a breath. “I can’t change the past any more than I can change my future...but it gives me a sense of peace knowing they have each other.” As I place my head back down on Kiran’s chest, I can hear his heart rapidly beating, but otherwise, he remains silent.
I don’t know why Kiran decided to open his heart to me, but I’m thankful he did. Long after I’m gone, I’m sure he’ll settle down and make a family of his own...while I’ll fall asleep at night, dreaming of being right here, safely in his arms.
****
The next morning, I wake up earlier than I have the past few days. I hear Kiran get up for work, and for the first time since I arrived, I want to have breakfast with everyone before they start their day.
I go downstairs, sit at the table, and watch as everyone, except Alex and myself, shuffle around. When the time comes, Kiran gives me a quick but hot kiss on the mouth before he follows everyone out the door. I slowly glance over at Alex, who’s made no attempt to leave.
“I’m going to start work tomorrow,” he says.
“Oh.” I still feel lost on what to say to him.
“I heard you have a job.”
I shrug. “I guess you could say that. I’m scheduled to work a couple days a week at a bookstore in town, but so far I’ve only worked one day.” I want to add ever. I’ve only worked one day in my twenty-one years of life, which is beyond pathetic, but I don’t.
“Sometimes a job is a job,” he responds.
I start shaking my head. “So far, I love my job. I love anything that has to do with books or reading,” I add before clearing my throat. “I’m earning a literature degree,” I add.
“That’s great.” Alex’s eyes lock with mine as he taps his finger on the table. He starts to open his mouth to say something several times but stops. I quietly wait him out as his breathing picks up. “Do you really have to go back or do you want to?” His question causes my heart to speed up. I know what he wants to hear, but I won’t lie to him.
“I love my father,” I say as his eyes darken. “I know what he did and it’s unforgivable. You have every reason in the world to hate him, but ...” I pause to clear my throat. “There wasn’t a day that passed that he didn’t show me how much he loves me. Right or wrong, I’m his world, and I never questioned my place in his life.”
At my words, he drops his head and exhales loudly. When he looks at me again, the anguish in his eyes breaks another layer around my heart.
“I’m glad he loved you like that. I never allowed myself to believe he stole you only to kill you.” I’m not sure what I should say next. If we’re going to have any kind of relationship we have to move past the dark cloud that hangs over us, but with every word I say, Alex’s pain becomes difficult to witness.
My body goes rigid with my next question. “What’s...our father like?”
I looked at David Johnson’s picture even less than I did Alex’s. If he walked into the room this exact second, I’m not sure I would recognize him.
Alex sighs before shaking his head. “He’s a drunk who wouldn’t know what day of the week it is to save his life.” I gasp. “I don’t remember a time when he wasn’t a drunk, but I got the impression it didn’t start until after ...” he trails off. My chest tightens with pain from what he was about to say.
“Mom did a good job taking care of me but she was always checked out on life. She went through the motions, but she wasn’t really living. Then she got sick and I was the one who took care of her until her body finally gave up.”
My heart breaks once again for Alex as a jolt of anger spikes toward Damian. All of this happened because of him.
“I wish I could have met her.”
I reach out and grab his hand. “Me too,” he says as his voice cracks. When he seems to gain some control, he smiles.
“I take it you didn’t leave a girlfriend behind?” I ask.
“Nah. I’ve dated my fair share but I don’t have the desire for anything long term.” His eyes show the torment his life has delivered. He grew up with an emotionally closed off mother, a drunk for a father, and he still managed to turn out to be a good person.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I wish I had the power to change things but I don’t.” I push down the urge to cry.
Alex shrugs. “We’re all dealt a hand in life, it’s how we play the cards we’re given that matters.”
My breath catches in my throat. I said practically the same thing to Kiran the other day. Without consideration, I say, “I’m gonna miss you. I don’t even really know you but I know I’m going to miss you when I leave.”
My words cause his face to fall. “Are you certain you have to? He’s had you all these years, maybe it’s our turn.” His eyes narrow as his irritation becomes apparent.
I give him a second to relax before I add more anguish to his life. “Alex, please listen to me.” His stormy eyes lock with mine as he finally nods his head in agreement. “If I could stay, I would.” My eyes unwillingly water. “If I could come and visit you whenever I wanted, I would.” I squeeze his hand. “But if the wrong people find me, God only knows what would happen. I won’t allow my cruel past to taint your future.”
He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head in disbelief. “But you’ve been here for weeks now and nothing’s happened.”
“That’s because no one expects I’m here. When word gets around that I’m no longer under Damian’s thumb, people will start hunting me down, and I’d rather walk out that door knowing you have Kate than risking something happening to either of you.” I pause and sniffle. “I can’t let anything happen to you because of me. I already live with so much guilt, I can’t add more to it.”
Without another word, Alex hops to his feet and walks out of the room, leaving me with a mess of emotions. I’m not even gone and I already miss the people here.