Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) (27 page)

“Look,” I say as my voice cracks. “We don’t have to be a couple to raise our son.” A tear slips out as I try my best to push down the pain. “We’re adults. We can get along for the sake of our child.” Kiran shakes his head and drops his shoulders, looking rattled. Without saying a word, he walks back to his room then out the front door a few minutes later.

I sit at the table for a few minutes, processing the last twelve hours. I love Kiran. I love him too much to trap him in a life he’s spent years avoiding.

I grab my cell phone—the one Kiran bought for me after I returned to Denver—and send Kate a text, asking if she’d come get me. I change my clothing and pack what little I have, and almost twenty minutes later, Kate and Gavin are at the door.

“Where’s Kiran?” Gavin asks, but again I shrug in response.

“Is it okay if I go back to your house?” I ask, looking at Gavin—who I expect is worried about Kate spending too much time with me.

“Sure,” he says before glancing around our empty apartment.

The ride to Kate’s is done in silence. When we get to their house, it dawns on me Callie’s not with them. “Where’s Callie?”

“She stayed over with a friend.” Kate looks at me with concern. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I look between Kate and Gavin, and I force myself to smile. “I gave him the out he deserved,” I tell them.

“What are you talking about?” Kate questions.

“Did you know he was dating someone else before he left to find me?” Kate’s eyes flash as Gavin turns away, which tells me everything I need to know.

“I’m not going to be that woman. The one who traps a guy into marriage and a family then gets mad when he hates the life he’s living.”

Kate gives me a sad look. “Isabelle, I don’t think—”

“Is it okay if I go upstairs and rest?” I ask, ending our conversation.

“Yeah. Sure,” Kate says, looking over at Gavin.

“Thank you.” I pause. “For everything,” I add before turning and walking up the stairs and into my old room. I rub my hands over my bump. “I guess for now, it’s just you and me, kid.” This isn’t the ending I was hoping for, but it’s the ending I originally expected.

Kiran

My phone continues to blow up as I sit in some hole in the wall bar, drinking at eleven in the morning. It’s not even noon, but after I left the apartment, I didn’t know where else to go. I desperately needed to calm down before I did or said something that caused whatever setback I have with Isabelle to become permanent.

I drove around for a while, trying like hell to figure out what the hell went wrong, but I came up empty. When I spotted a bar with an open sign, I pulled in. The bar serves lunch, which is what most of the customers are ordering, but not me. I’m on my second beer.

My phone buzzes again and this time I take a glance and see it’s Gavin. I scroll through the messages he’s left, asking me where the hell I am, except the last one.

Gavin: She knows about Kami. She thinks you were dating her and that she screwed things up for you.

My mouth drops open as I dial his number.

“Where the fuck are you?” Gavin growls into my ear.

“I’m...out,” I say, not willing to admit I’m drinking in a bar this early in the day. “What the hell do you mean she knows about Kami? There’s nothing to know,” I say as my voice continues to rise.

“Dude, you know how women are. I didn’t ask a whole lot of questions. Kate tried and that’s what I heard her say. I knew you went out with this Kami chick and you never mention what did or didn’t happen, but I can tell you Isabelle thinks this woman meant something more than she did.”

“I didn’t tell her about Kami because there was nothing to tell. How the hell did she find out about her in the first place?” I groan in frustration.

“I don’t know, but not telling her wasn’t a great idea,” he snaps.

“Okay. I’ll go home and talk to her,” I add, already walking to the door.

“She’s here.” His comment causes me to stop. “Tell me you went and got her because if she took a cab, so help me—”

“We picked her up,” Gavin answers, cutting me off.

I breathe out a sigh. “I’m on my way,” I add before hanging up.

I’m not going to let a woman I didn’t even like stand in between me and the woman I love. Shit, why does Isabelle have to be so damn polite? She wouldn’t even tell me why she was upset because she was positive I needed a damn out.

I hop in my car with the urge to both strangle and kiss the hell out of her. When I pull out onto the street, I take my time driving to Gavin’s. I’m not drunk, but with two beers and no food in my system, I don’t want to take the risk of being pulled over. By the time I arrive at Gavin’s, almost thirty minutes have passed. After living here for months, this house still feels like home. For that reason, I put my code in the security system and walk in without knocking.

Kate glances up from her schoolbooks in front of her with an annoyed expression. “I take it Gavin called you?” she says, shaking her head.

“Yes, he did. I wish you would have.” I can’t hide my frustration.

“Kiran, she’s upset and... pregnant. She wanted to lie down and rest so I gave her what she asked.” I can tell Kate is upset.

“Kami means absolutely nothing to me,” I state as anger seeps into my words.

Kate sighs. “Yet you went out with her...several times, right before you left for Mexico. To make matters worse...you didn’t tell Isabelle about it.” I swallow and do my best to push down my own feelings and think about how this must look to her.

When we first came home to the apartment, she asked me if there had been anyone else. I told her no and that wasn’t a lie. “I’m going up to talk to her.”

I turn and take the steps two at a time. I make it to the room Isabelle is in and pause. What I say or do next could very well change my life. She’s scared and pregnant by the first man she was with. She lived the last six months in hell, running from one place to the next only to have me sweep in, ready to play the hero and daddy all in one breath. I need Isabelle to know I’m with her because there’s no one else I’d rather be with.

Without knocking, I slowly push the door open and find her curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. She’s facing the door and her eyes lock with mine as I walk in and sit on the edge of the bed.

I nervously run my hands through my hair and take a deep, calming breath as I glance at the wall. “I knew I used women. I didn’t even try to lie to myself. I’m sure if I tried a little harder, I could have found women who were okay with what I had to give, but I didn’t care. I planned to get what I wanted then I’d leave. To me, it didn’t matter if I hurt them because I wouldn’t be around afterward. But ...” I exhale another breath. “It started to bother me. I got a glimpse into the hurt I was dishing out and the guilt set in. I stopped going to bars and seeking out women a couple of months before we moved to Denver, and I promised myself if I didn’t have what it took to at least be completely honest with a woman, then I wouldn’t do anything else with them.” I pause to look over at her. I expect to see a disgusted look, but she appears concerned...concerned for me.

“We barely got unpacked when you showed up at our door. My first thought was: God has to be punishing me, making me live in a house with a woman as gorgeous as you. I tried to make it my goal to be an ass to you. To make sure you knew the real me, but that kept backfiring because every time I was a jerk, I saw the look on your face and it gutted me. I didn’t want to be that man, either. The more I was around you...the more my guard went down, and I started seeing the real you.” Her eyes flash as she sits up. I can see her out of the corner of my eye. She’s watching me without saying a word.

“You ended up being nothing like the woman I imagined, and every time you stood up to me, I found myself liking you even more.” I turn and lock my eyes with her beautiful but sad brown ones. “I didn’t know it at the time, but I fell in love with you.” I clear my throat and loudly swallow. “In a matter of weeks, I went from avoiding relationships to wondering if I could make one work with you.” I move a little closer and she makes no attempt to stop me.

“I was nervous, mainly because you were positive you had to leave, but I also wondered if I had what it took to be the man you deserved. Then you left.” My voice unwillingly cracks. I hear Isabelle sniffle as her eyes glass over.

“I knew I was falling for you, but I discovered I was in love with you after you left. I convinced myself you returned to the only life you knew how to live because, right or wrong, that made the pain a little more bearable.” I wait, hoping she’ll say something but she doesn’t. “I moved out of here and into an apartment with Alex. Life continued, but my mind and heart were stuck on you.” I reach out and place my hand on top of hers.

“Alex started seeing this woman, Brooke, and they pushed for me to go out with her friend, Kami. To move on,” I slowly add. “I gave in and went out on a double date. She seemed like a nice chick so I agreed to see her again. We didn’t go out more than a handful of times.”

She doesn’t pull her hand back, but I see the hurt in her eyes. I took Kami out while she was in a shithole, pregnant with my child, fighting to stay alive. “I hated every moment I was with her. I...I wanted you,” I add as a tear falls from her eye.

“I didn’t even kiss her, Isabelle. That’s why I didn’t say anything about her when you asked because there was nothing to tell.”

She pulls her hand back to wipe her tears away. She blows out a sigh and smiles. “When I found out I was pregnant, I thought Damian was going to kill me. Then...then I thought he might kill you if he ever saw you,” she says with a laugh. “I didn’t want to keep your child from you, but I didn’t know if I could come back. I stopped myself from thinking too much about the future and about things I couldn’t control but ...” She pauses as her eyes water again. “But I hoped you were happy. I’m not mad that you moved on, but I refuse to be the person who holds you back.” She’s looking at me with a sad smile that breaks my heart.

“God, Isabelle,” I breathe out before grabbing her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.

“I didn’t plan for you. I didn’t plan for this baby. But now that I have you...I can’t picture my life without you.” Her eyes widen before she sniffles then slowly smiles, causing everything inside of me to relax.

“I love you, Isabelle Paasch, and if I didn’t think you’d knee me in the balls right now, I’d ask you to marry me.” I chuckle as she wraps her arms around my waist and nuzzles into my chest.

“Let’s go home.” I brush my hands through her hair.

She sighs and nods her head. “I need to talk to Kate. I know she was worried.” I move off the bed and hold my hand out to help Isabelle up then we make our way downstairs to find Gavin and Kate talking in hushed voices.

“Somebody is feeling much better,” I announce as they look at us.

“Oh, good,” Kate says, sounding relieved.

Gavin watches us both closely. “I’m sorry for disrupting your morning,” Isabelle says, sounding embarrassed.

“You didn’t disrupt anything, Isabelle. We’re family and that means if you need someone, I want you to call me...always,” Kate states before walking up and hugging my girl.

“Where’s the little lady?’ I ask.

“She’s at a friend’s house,” Gavin responds as the tension drains from his shoulders.

“Tell her Uncle Kiran said hi when she gets home.”

“We will,” Kate answers with a smile.

“Ready?” I question, looking at Isabelle, who quickly nods her head yes.

“Thanks again,” she mumbles as we walk out to my car. When we arrive back at the apartment, I place my hand on Isabelle’s. “Who told you about Kami?” Her eyes narrow as she tilts her head to the side. “No,” I groan. “I’m not keeping anything from you but whoever told you about her was trying to upset you.”

She starts shaking her head. “It wasn’t like that.” Her face turns serious. “Brooke showed up while Alex was in the shower. We talked for a few minutes. She thought I was only there because I’m Alex’s sister. I don’t think she had any idea that we had been together.” Her voice drops as I squeeze her hand. “Not had. Are. We are together,” I firmly add.

Isabelle breaks out in a smile as I lean forward and take her mouth with mine. I’m hungry for so much more than just kissing, but all too soon, I pull back. We’ve yet to have sex because the doctor wants to confirm everything still looks the same or better at her next appointment, which is in a couple of days.

“Soon,” I promise. I know she’s just as ready to take the next step as I am. I only hope she’s ready for everything I want to give her.