Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) (26 page)

“I’ll show you to our room.” I grab her hand and walk down the hall. My room is slightly messy but it’s not until I see the huge hole in the wall and the broken desk chair that I wish I’d cleaned up before we took off.

Alex stands at the doorway. “I hope you keep that temper of yours in check when my nephew arrives.” My face falls as his words bring back memories from my childhood. My mother constantly yelled at my father until he finally had enough and lashed out at everyone. “Dude, I was joking.”

Isabelle remains quiet. I watch as her eyes dart to the wall then around the room.

“Yeah, I know.” I laugh off his comment as fear of what she’s thinking sets in.

“I’m going to lie down for a while. The drive did me in.” Alex smiles at his sister then opens his bedroom door. Isabelle walks over to the chair that’s lying on its side and rights it before sitting down on the edge of my bed.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shrug. Do I want to her tell that I don’t get mad often, but when I do, I usually blow up, hit, or throw something? Yeah, no thank you.

“Damian has a temper...had a temper,” she corrects. “I occasionally saw it when I walked into a room unexpected or if someone did something they shouldn’t in front of me. Everyone on his payroll would talk about his crazy outbursts, but I rarely witnessed them.” She looks straight at me. “You want to know why?” she asks after she reaches out and places her hand in mine. “Because he took his role as a parent very seriously. He loved me and he did everything in his power to shield me from the horrible things that surrounded my life, and that included his horrible temper, but that didn’t mean his temper magically disappeared.” She squeezes my hand, keeping her eyes locked with mine. “Just because you get angry doesn’t mean you’ll make a bad parent.” She lays her head on my shoulder.

“Now, do you want to talk about what made you mad?” I have no idea if I should answer her. It was her and that damn letter that set me off. But...the only way we can make a relationship work is with honesty. I guess now will be my first test on how well that works for me.

“I read your letter.” I can feel her head nod but she remains silent. “I hadn’t known you long enough to be in love with you, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.” I pause, willing myself to relax. I take a deep breath and I’m engulfed by her smell. Just like that, my tension starts to melt.

“I convinced myself that you left because you’re addicted to that life—something I couldn’t give you—and it pissed me off. You leaving pissed me off, that’s the only way I could deal with the pain.”

She sniffles. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry,” she says, trying her best not to cry.

“It’s okay. I know now and I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. Plus, it paid off well for Gavin. When I wasn’t in bed ignoring the world, I was working.”

“In bed?” she says as she lifts her head and stares at me.

“Not like that. I was alone. Always.”

Isabelle breathes out a sigh. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had moved on,” she counters, but her unguarded eyes tell a different story.

“You’re kind of hard to top, Isabelle Paasch. Thankfully, now I won’t have to try.” I take her face in my hands as I start kissing her. Like every time before, our connection consumes me.

From our kiss alone, my body sparks with need. I want to scoop her up and show her how badly I’ve missed her, but we can’t, not yet.

Regretfully, I pull away, leaving Isabelle with a look of longing on her face. I’m willing my body to calm down before she notices my erection when she blurts out, “I think tomorrow we should find a doctor.” She runs her hand down her bump. “I want to know the baby is okay.” She flushes and looks down to the floor.

“What?” I question as I place my finger under her chin, tilting her head back.

“I also want to know if it’s safe to...you know,” she adds, waving her hand back and forth between us.

“Ah,” I say with a smile in my voice.

“I definitely want to know I’m not going to be poking my kid if we have sex.”

Isabelle stifles a laugh before she climbs up my bed and rest her head on my pillow. “We’ll find a doctor and confirm everything is fine then maybe we could buy a few things for him,” she hesitantly adds. “My pregnancy hasn’t seemed real, but I think buying him things will change that.”

I smile to myself as I crawl up next to her. I brush a strand of hair out of her face before she nuzzles into my chest. Her breathing evens out as her body gives in to sleep. I haven’t felt this peaceful since the night before Isabelle left. But right now feels better because we don’t have the possibility of her leaving hanging over our heads, and because of that, I feel content for the first time in my life.

****

Finding a doctor that was willing to see a twenty-seven-week pregnant woman—who willingly admitted she hadn’t received prenatal care—proved to be harder than we expected. Not to mention, we’re not using insurance—we’re paying cash—but we finally found a doctor.

Our son is healthy just like Dr. Ross predicted, but this time, we were given a due date: May 22
nd
. With it being the beginning of March, we still have time to buy what we need without rushing.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” Kate says, sounding pleased as she rubs her hand over Isabelle’s belly. After a week of being in Denver without anyone trailing us, we decided it was time for the girls to finally visit.

“I’m confused. Does this make me an aunt or a cousin because I have to say, I always thought if Kiran had a kid, I would get to call myself Aunt Kate.” Kate smirks at me while I shake my head. Callie has called me Uncle Kiran since she started talking.

“Kate, you’ll be the aunt and I’ll be the cousin,” Callie innocently says. Callie connected the dots from conversations we had when she was around that Kate and Isabelle share a father—so of course that makes them sisters. I don’t think it matters the label anyone uses. These two women will always share a special bond, and thankfully, they’ll get to be a part of each other’s lives for good.

“Aunt sounds great to me,” Isabelle says before glancing over at me.

“Have you guys decided on any names yet?” Kate asks.

My eyes remain locked with Isabelle’s as she shakes her head. “Honestly, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I know I don’t have that long before he’s going to be here but everything has happened so fast.”

Kate gives Isabelle a sad smile. “I’ll do anything you need me to, including babysitting.”

“Hey now,” Gavin says, faking annoyance.

“Me too,” Callie adds, causing everyone to laugh.

I love my brother and I always will, but being here, surrounded by this group of people, is more family than I ever expected to have.

Isabelle

“You don’t have to babysit me,” I tell Alex. Kiran is currently at work—something the two never do at the same time.

“I know I don’t have to,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Today, I’m multitasking...I asked a woman I’m...kind of seeing to come over.” My eyes widen with shock. I had no idea Alex was dating.

“I’m such a shitty sister. All we do is talk about my problems.” I frown. “Not anymore. Tell me about this woman you’re dating.” I can’t help but smile.

“For starters, calm down. It’s nothing...serious ...” he trails off with a shrug. He rubs his hands over his face. “She wasn’t thrilled when I first called her. I guess disappearing for over three weeks isn’t looked on too favorably, but she seems to have forgiven me.”

My heart sinks. “God, Alex, I’m sorry.” I hate how my life bleeds into everyone around me.

“Hey, you’re my sister. You mean the world to me, and if Brooke wants to hold a grudge, then so be it, but that doesn’t appear to be the case.” Alex glances down at his watch. “I’m going to take a shower before she gets here.”

I smirk. “Thank goodness. I thought I smelled something.”

Alex shakes his head with a smile. “Jerk,” he mumbles with a laugh on his way to the bathroom.

I missed out...we both missed out on this kind of bond when we were kids, and I’m grateful we have the opportunity to make up for lost time.

I grab the remote and start flipping through the channels as a knock comes from the door. I hit mute on the TV but I can still hear the shower running. I walk over to the door and look through the peephole to find a beautiful brunette standing on the other side.

I open the door slightly. “Brooke?” I question.

“Yes?” She tilts her head as her eyes narrow.

I pull the door the rest of the way open. “Come in.” As she steps inside, she watches me closely. “I’m Isabelle. Alex’s sister.”

She places her hand over her chest and chuckles. “Oh. Gosh. That would have been awkward.”

“Yeah. Come sit down. Alex is in the shower,” I tell her as I take my usual seat. “So...how long have you been dating my brother?”

Her nose scrunches. “I met Alex a couple of months ago. We see each other a lot, but we’re not officially dating,” she says, repeating practically the same thing Alex said.

“When he went a few weeks without calling or texting me, I thought it was over, but I guess not,” she adds with a shrug.

“That’s actually my fault. I don’t know if he said anything to you or not, but I had some problems and he unexpectedly left town to help me out.”

“That’s what he said. Did his roommate leave, too? Because he quit calling my friend about the same time.”

My heart drops as I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Yes, he did.” My voice is barely a whisper.

“Oh good. I was wondering. Kiran quit answering Kami’s calls about the same time Alex stopped returning mine. Kami tried to convince me they were just users, but ...” She shrugs with a soft smile, having no idea she just turned my world upside down.

“Are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

I stand up, nodding my head as her eyes lock on my stomach. “I’m fine. Just pregnant and tired,” I say as Alex walks in the room.

“You’re early.” He looks at Brooke with a huge smile on his face.

“Sorry. I got off work early and I decided to surprise you,” Brooke explains.

“I’m going to lie down,” I announce.

“Okay. Brooke and I will wait until Kiran gets home to leave,” he says, telling me what I already know.

I nod my head and walk to Kiran’s bedroom. Once the door is shut, tears start to fall.

I left Kiran, and at the time, I had no intentions of returning. I can’t fault him for moving on, but he told me he hadn’t. He told me I was all he could think about, which clearly isn’t the case.

I don’t doubt the fact that Kiran likes me, but I do doubt that he would be with me now if I wasn’t pregnant. If I allow him to stay with me because he feels obligated, then I’m setting him up to become his father, and that’s something I refuse to do.

****

Exhaustion sets in but I never fall asleep. Sometime later, I hear the front door open when Kiran comes home. The three of them carry on a conversation I can’t quite hear. Then I hear the door open again. I’m assuming this time it is Alex and Brooke leaving.

Kiran opens his door and slips inside his bedroom. I left the light off, leaving the room almost dark. Kiran strips off his clothing then slips into the bed, pulling me tight against his chest. Several long minutes pass before his breathing evens out and he drifts off to sleep.

As the night passes, I barely sleep. All I can think about is Kiran and his friend Kami. I even roll my eyes when I realize how their names sound together. When the sun finally comes up, I give up on sleep and go to the kitchen. I desperately want a cup of coffee, even though my doctor told me to avoid caffeine. Instead, I pour a cup of juice and sit down at the kitchen table.

I don’t want to be here—at least in this apartment—pretending life with Kiran is picture perfect. How did I let myself ever start believing that in the first place?

“There you are,” Kiran says, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he walks into the kitchen. He kisses me on the cheek before walking over to the fridge and pouring himself a cup of juice. When I was given a list of foods to avoid, Kiran told me that he wouldn’t eat or drink them, either. At the time, I thought it sweet. Now, it feels like another thing he’s been forced to give up on my behalf.

“Why are you up so early?” I sigh and shrug my shoulders. “Hey, none of that. Tell me what’s wrong. Are you feeling okay?”

I can hear the concern in his voice and I hate it. I don’t hate Kiran, but I suddenly hate everything I’ve done to him. Everything I’ve forced him to give up, everything I’m forcing him to do.

“I was thinking about seeing if Kate was okay with me staying with her.” I look down, refusing to look him in the eyes. “She has more room and that way the baby would have his own room. At least, until I figure something else out.”

“What the fuck is going on, Isabelle?” Kiran growls, suddenly sounding very awake. I look up to find his angry eyes staring down at me.

“I think it’s best we stop pretending,” I whisper.

“Pretending?” he repeats, sounding shocked.

“Yes. Pretending,” I challenge. “This isn’t a fairy tale, and even if it was, I’m not the kind of girl who gets a happy ending.” He stands there staring at me as his eyes narrow in disbelief.