Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) (23 page)

“My dad couldn’t care less about his kids. I don’t want to be like him,” I voice one of my greatest concerns. I never planned to have kids because the risk was more than I wanted to take.

“If you want to be a good father, then be one. Don’t let your fears take control. I’ve seen the way you are with Callie. Gavin might have the final say in Callie’s life, but you’ve helped raise that little girl, and from what I can tell, you’ve done a great job.”

I’ve been a part of Callie’s life since the day she came home from the hospital. However, I’ve never once considered my role in her life to be that of a parent. When she turns into a hot mess, I hand her over to Gavin and walk away. But I love her and I know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her, which is more than my father could have said about my brother and me.

“Thanks. I think I needed to hear that,” I add before the silence takes over as we patiently wait for her to wake up.

Isabelle

My eyes slowly drift open as panic sets in. I’m in a room I’ve never seen before. However, before I can process what’s going on, both Alex and Kiran appear on either side of the bed I’m in.

“What’s going on?” I rasp out.

Kiran picks up my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You were sick and you didn’t go to the doctor.” His tone is on the verge of angry. My eyes dart to Alex, who’s silently watching me.

“Wait. Where am I?” I look behind them for my father but he’s not there. “Where’s Damian?” I ask as my heart speeds up, causing a monitor to start beeping.

“Shh. Calm down. He’s fine,” Kiran says as a man wearing a white coat comes in.

“Isabelle, I’m Dr. Ross. How are you feeling?”

I look down at my stomach as my eyes tear up. My baby isn’t even born yet and I’m already a horrible mother.

“Isabelle?” Kiran says my name as a question.

“I’m pregnant...or at least, I was,” I whisper as I struggle to hold back my tears.

“Isabelle, I did a sonogram when you first arrived and your baby was alive and fighting. How about we do another one to check on things.”

“I haven’t felt it move for days,” I admit, looking down at my bump.

“Isabelle, your body was in shock from the infection. If the baby had been moving, I’d doubt you’d know it. Let’s get you checked out and we’ll go from there,” he adds before walking out of the room.

I won’t allow myself to look at Kiran. I don’t even know how he found me but I can only imagine what he thinks.

“Do you feel okay?” Alex asks. I take a quick glance at him and nod my head. My body feels heavy, and I’m positive I could go back to sleep if I was left alone, but I feel worlds better than I did.

“Okay. Excuse me,” the doctor says, rolling a machine into the spot Alex was standing in. He pulls my gown up, exposing my stomach as he squirts a clear liquid on me then brings a wand up and rolls it around. Instantly, a sound comes through a speaker.

“Do you hear that?” I nod, still confused. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” My eyes dart to Kiran as a smile forms on his face. “And it’s much stronger than it was when you first arrived,” the doctor adds.

He continues to roll the wand around on my stomach as Kiran squeezes my hand. “That’s our baby,” he whispers, almost sounding happy.

“Isabelle, I’m not a specialist. I practice general medicine, but in my opinion, the placenta still looks firmly attached. Your kidneys are still inflamed but they look good compared to when you first arrived, which means the antibiotics are working.”

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly as I process what he’s saying. “Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” he asks, causing my heart to drop.

“Umm,” I mumble before glancing at Kiran.

We haven’t even talked about the fact that I’m having a child...his child. And to be honest, since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve been in survival mode. I haven’t stopped to wonder what I’m having or what I was going to do when the baby arrived.

“I don’t know. I guess.” I sniffle.

“Isabelle, if you don’t want to know, we can wait,” Kiran says.

He said we. We can wait. “We?”

He steps even closer. “Yes,” he growls, sounding almost upset.

“I’m sorry.” I continue to fight my tears. “I’m just a little confused about what’s going on. I fell asleep in one place with my father and woke up in another with you two.”

The doctor removes the wand from my stomach and wipes my belly before pushing my gown back down.

“You were sick, Isabelle,” Alex says. “Really sick. You and the baby would have died if you stayed in Mexico. Damian sent us a message. We found you and brought you here.”

I start to panic. “Where’s Damian?”

Kiran squeezes my hand. “He stayed behind.”

My mind feels foggy. “Where am I?”

“Houston.” I’m in the States. I crossed the border, and I have no memory of it.

“Isabelle, I want you to stay on an IV for the next twenty-four hours, and then I’ll more than likely send you on your way. I’m not sure where you’re going or where you’ll end up, but I suggest you find a doctor and get checked out again soon. Prenatal care isn’t required to have a healthy baby, but it’s definitely recommended. After everything you’ve gone through, you’ll want to keep a closer eye on your pregnancy.”

I shake my head as Kiran answers, “She’ll get to a doctor. I’ll make sure of it.” I try my best to shake off my annoyance at Kiran for acting like he’s in charge.

“Okay. I’m going to let you rest. I’ll be back in the morning to check on you.” The doctor walks out, leaving me alone with my newest set of protectors.

“You look better. Are you sure you feel fine?” Alex asks, causing some of the tension I’m feeling to fade. It’s hard to be mad at either of them when their hearts are in the right place.

“I’m fine. How did you find me?”

Alex smiles. “Damian sent a message to Kate. We figured out what he meant and took off on a wild goose chase that happened to pay off.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe he sent me away. It took me forever to find him,” I admit.

“What are you talking about?” Kiran questions as his eyes narrow.

I shrug and whisper, “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

Kiran groans under his breath, clearly frustrated with me. “I’m tired. I think I’m ready to go to sleep,” I tell them. My brain needs time to catch up. Damian is once again gone, and I’m back with Kiran and Alex. I hate how my life has to be one or the other.

“I’m going to the room to rest for a while myself. I’ll be back soon,” Alex says before leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. I keep my eyes cast down until Kiran leans forward, resting his head on the edge of my bed.

He looks exhausted and I know I’m the cause of that. “I’m sorry.”

His head comes up as he sits back in his chair. “About what?” he asks, but I don’t answer. I’m sorry for a lot of things, and to be honest, I’m not sure where to begin.

“Were you going to tell me you’re pregnant?”

My eyes start to water. “I don’t know.” My answer causes his eyes to darken. He takes a deep breath then frowns.

“I had no idea what I was going to do because I wouldn’t let myself think that far ahead. I was trying to survive, and as it turns out, I was doing a crappy job of it.” My eyes go back to my bump. “I don’t even know when I’m due.” My voice shakes as a tear finally falls.

Kiran sighs and reaches for my hand again. “We’ll figure it out together. That’s our baby, and whatever happens from here on out, you’ll have me.”

My stomach fills with flutters, something I haven’t felt since the last night I was with him. Kiran picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. I would love nothing more than a chance at something with Kiran, but my baby and its needs have to come before my desires. And as much as I want him to want me, I don’t want him to be with me out of guilt or obligation.

“Let’s just focus on making sure the baby is healthy for now,” I answer. Only time will tell what my future with Kiran will hold.

****

“Okay, Isabelle, I’m going to take another look around and if everything looks good, I’m going to send you on your way,” Dr. Ross says, rolling the same machine he used on me yesterday next to the bed.

He pulls up my gown again and within seconds, my baby’s heartbeat fills the room. I glance over at Kiran, who’s watching the same screen the doctor is but with a huge smile on his face. I knew after only being around Kiran for a handful of weeks that he would make a wonderful father someday, but I wasn’t expecting him to be happy I’m pregnant.

Our story is very cliché: virgin girl has sex with a guy and gets pregnant. I wasn’t on birth control, and Kiran didn’t use a condom the last time we had sex—the night before I left. For that reason, this really is just as much his fault as it is mine. When I imagined having a child, it was with my husband, and we’d be happily married, which is not at all the case with Kiran and me.

“Your kidneys look better. I’m going to give you an oral antibiotic to take for the next week but I expect you’ll be fine,” the doctor says as he turns off the machine. “Try to get plenty of rest, don’t skip meals, and see a doctor when you get settled somewhere.” He pauses to look at me. “Did you decide if you want to know what you’re having?”

I nervously swallow as Kiran walks up to the side of my bed and laces my hand with his. “Do you want to know?”

I’ve known for weeks I’m pregnant, but until my baby moved, it didn’t feel real. Nothing about this experience is what I imagined. I think knowing the sex might help my mind accept what’s happening.

“Yes. I think I want to know,” I admit.

“Good, because I want to know, too,” Kiran adds before looking at the doctor with a grin on his face.

“You’re having a boy.” Both the doctor and Kiran look straight at me.

After a deep breath, I dare to look at Kiran, who looks generally happy. “A boy?” he questions. “We’re going to have a son,” he says with pride before squeezing my hand.

“Here are the pills. I want you to take one a day for the next week.” The doctor clears his throat. “I’m going to let you go home now. Take care of yourself, Ms. Paasch, and your baby should be fine.” The doctor shakes Kiran’s hand then leaves the room.

Home. Where the hell is that?

Kiran

Isabelle appears withdrawn again. She smiled when the doctor told us we’re having a boy, but otherwise, she didn’t react and I’m not sure where her head is.

Alex was at the motel when the doctor released Isabelle. She delivered quite the shock when she walked in with me as he was packing his bag.

“You look a thousand times better,” he says with relief in his voice. On our trip from Mexico to Houston, Isabelle looked like she could have died at any moment. Now she has color in her face and is able to walk without pain.

“I feel a thousand times better,” she replies before sitting on the edge of the bed.

I take a glance at Alex, who’s picked up on Isabelle’s strange mood. He looks at me but I shrug. I have no idea what we’re dealing with, and Isabelle doesn’t act as if she’s going to clue us in.

“Isabelle, I want to take you to my grandparents’ farm, our grandparents’ farm. If you’re okay with that.”

Her eyes widen for a second before she cast her face down. I silently groan with frustration. This is not the strong, feisty woman I met months ago. Instead of speaking up and telling us what she wants, she remains silent.

“Is that okay?” I ask, taking a seat next to her.

“Sure,” she whispers without looking at either of us.

“Damn it, Isabelle. What’s wrong?” I practically yell before immediately feeling like a jerk for raising my voice.

“Nothing. I need to use the bathroom before we leave,” she announces, walking toward the bathroom door before shutting then locking it behind her.

“What the hell?” Alex whispers in frustration. “She’s locked away somewhere inside of her head. That’s not the Isabelle we met in Denver ...” I pause, trying to gain some control. “I just want her to be herself around us.”

Alex breathes out a sigh before running his hands over his face. “I know something’s not right but she’s pregnant. Her hormones are probably out of whack, not to mention she’s recovering from being seriously fucking sick. Give her time. If she doesn’t snap out of her funk, then we’ll try a different approach, but in the meantime, lay off. Please.”