Lola Rose (23 page)

‘I'm sorry, really sorry, but it's my
auntie,'
I said, hurrying towards the front door.

‘I don't care if it's little green men from Mars, they shouldn't come knocking in the middle of the night!' said Miss Parker.

I took no notice, fiddling with the bolts on the door. ‘Don't go, Auntie Barbara, I'm coming!' I called.

I got the door open at last. Auntie Barbara dropped the bags and held out her arms to me. I fell against her.

Whenever I hugged Mum hard she always teetered on her heels and said, ‘Careful, you'll knock me over.'

No one could knock Auntie Barbara over. She didn't budge an inch. She stayed still, like a well-upholstered sofa, while I leant against her and cried on the big soft cushion of her chest.

A small fist pummelled at my bottom.

‘Do we know her?' Kendall asked.

I stopped snivelling and stepped back, reaching for Kendall. ‘Of course we do! This is our auntie. Auntie Barbara, this is Kenny.'

‘I'm Kendall,' he said.

Auntie Barbara stooped, arms open. Kendall backed rapidly.

‘I don't hug strange ladies,' he said.

‘Kendall!' I hissed.

Auntie Barbara laughed. ‘Quite right, Kendall. And they don't come any stranger than me.'

She
did
look strange. She had long blonde hair, thick and soft, like Mum's, but Auntie Barbara's was really long. She wore it caught up and coiled and twisted into a bun at the top of her head, though little tendrils escaped and hung down like earrings. She had a very pretty face with Mum's big blue eyes. She didn't wear any make-up. Her skin was very pink as if she spent a lot of time scrubbing it. If you chopped Auntie Barbara off at the neck like one of those old hairstyling doll heads she'd win any beauty contest. But things started to go weird past her shoulders. There was just so much of her. She was the BIGGEST LADY I'd ever seen. She wasn't just fat, she was vast, so massive she seemed a different species altogether.

She wasn't wibbly-wobbly like the lovely maid at the hotel. She looked like she was made of pink marble, a great monument. She was wearing a vast silk top in a wonderful deep purple, with a matching wrap-around skirt. It could have wrapped round Kendall and me a dozen times. Her toenails were painted purple too, shining in her silver sandals. I wondered at first how she could stretch down over her huge stomach to reach her toes, but she proved amazingly agile for such a large lady. She bounded up the stairs to our flat, swinging the great bags.

Miss Parker watched, open-mouthed. ‘Who's she when she's at home – the Queen of Sheba?'

Auntie Barbara laughed and gave her a regal wave. She had a great silver ring on either hand and a huge chunk of amber hung on a thick silver chain. It was easy enough to imagine an amber crown on top of her coiled hair.

Kendall and I followed in her wake. Her bottom was enormous above us. Kendall's eyes met mine. We struggled not to giggle.

Steve and Andy peered down from their landing above, in little shortie Japanese dressing gowns. Auntie Barbara waved to them too. When we got inside our front door, Auntie Barbara said, ‘I wonder if they realized we could see right up their dressing gowns!'

We could all giggle together.

‘Right, Jayni, where's the kettle? I'm dying for a cup of tea. And biscuits.'

‘I'm afraid we haven't got any.'

‘
I
have,' said Auntie Barbara. She opened one of the carriers and brought out tea bags, chocolate Hobnobs, a walnut cake, fairy cakes, doughnuts, a multipack of sandwiches, bananas, apples and
a giant bar of Cadbury's chocolate
. ‘I think we could all do with a bit of sustenance,' she said, smiling. ‘I went to the all-night supermarket on the way.'

‘How did you know I like that chocolate, Auntie Barbara?' I asked her, awed.

‘
I
like it,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘I've been known to eat a whole bar by myself.'

‘Not a
giant
bar?'

‘You bet a giant bar,' said Auntie Barbara, bustling around making tea as if she'd lived in our flat all her life.

‘But aren't you worried that—?'

‘That it'll make me fat?' said Auntie Barbara, she hooted with laughter. ‘Bit late in the day to start worrying!'

She sat herself down on Mum's sofa bed, filling it as if it was her own armchair. Kendall and I sat cross-legged in front of her. We had cups of tea too, and started on Auntie Barbara's picnic. It tasted wonderful. Even Kendall ate heaps, properly too, swallowing the crusts on his sandwiches and eating the sponge as well as the icing on his fairy cake.

Auntie Barbara ate the most though. It was plain she could out-eat anyone. She saw me watching every mouthful she took. ‘I'm a very bad example, Jayni,' she said. ‘It's very unhealthy to eat as much as me and get so terribly fat.'

‘Then why do you do it?' Kendall asked.

‘Don't be so rude, Kendall!' I said, nudging him.

‘No, it's a perfectly sensible question. Shame is, I haven't got any answers. I eat because I'm greedy. I like food.'

‘I like food too,' I said, biting my lip.

‘Don't look so worried. I'm sure you won't take after me,' said Auntie Barbara, happily biting into a big éclair, cream oozing everywhere.

‘I don't take after Mum,' I said, reaching for an éclair too.

‘I don't think you need take after anyone. You're yourself. Unique. The one and only Jayni.'

‘She's not Jayni,' said Kendall.

Auntie Barbara wiped the cream from her mouth. ‘Who is she then, Kenny? Whoops, sorry, Kendall.'

‘I call myself Lola Rose now,' I said shyly. ‘And Kenny's Kendall, like he said, and Mum's Victoria Luck.'

Auntie Barbara nodded. ‘Are these new names to stop your dad tracking you down?'

‘How do you
know
?'

‘Because he came barging into my pub weeks ago, effing and blinding and generally doing his nut. He said your mum's gone off with a footballer.
Has
she?'

‘No! She stopped seeing him ages and ages ago. No, we had to do a runner because my dad hit my mum, and then he went for me.'

‘My dad didn't hit
me
. My dad said I'm his little champ,' Kendall said, sticking his chin up. ‘He's the big champ and I'm the little champ.'

‘Little chump, more like,' I said.

‘You shut up, Lola Rose,' said Kendall, clenching his fist.

‘I think Lola Rose is an absolutely lovely name,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘Did your mum think that up?'

‘I chose it myself,' I said proudly. ‘You won't tell Dad, will you, Auntie Barbara?'

‘What do you think I am, daft?' said Auntie Barbara. ‘I had a few sharp words with him.'

‘He didn't hit
you
, did he?'

‘I'd like to see him try,' said Auntie Barbara, flexing her big arms. ‘I don't think any man would dare take me on. Even your grandad thought better of it once I'd got to a certain age. He had a really nasty temper too, just like your dad. He didn't mellow in old age either. He was a crabby old beggar up until the day he died. In fact he died in mid rant, yelling at me because I was changing the beer barrels—'

‘So he's dead, our grandad.'

‘A couple of years ago. I tried to let your mum know but she'd moved. She isn't a girl for keeping in touch. We didn't really get on when we were kids, your mum and me. We were so different, chalk and cheese. We had this awful row over something – and I got really mad at your mum. But that was long ago. I'm not mad at her now – and I've
never
been mad at you two. I'm so happy you phoned me, Jayni. Sorry, Lola Rose.'

‘How did you get here so quick? There aren't any buses this early, are there?'

‘I drove, sweetheart. I'll pop back down to the car in a minute and get my case.'

‘Your case?'

‘I'm staying to look after you, darling. Until your mum gets better. I've got it all organized at the pub. I've got this lovely Australian couple working as bar staff, and they're going to manage things for me till I get back. You didn't think I'd just lob a few pounds and a packet of biscuits at you and then disappear? I'm your auntie. You're
family
.

‘I'll go and see your mum this morning,' said Auntie Barbara.

‘I'm coming too,' I said.

‘And me,' said Kendall.

‘Will it upset him?' Auntie Barbara mouthed.

‘Probably,' I mouthed back.

I was worried
Mum
might be upset. Upset with me for calling Auntie Barbara.

We went to the hospital together, Auntie Barbara striding confidently down the ward, Kendall and I scuttling along behind her.

Mum was lying on her back, looking towards us. Her face screwed up. ‘Oh Gawd, what are
you
doing here?' she said rudely.

Auntie Barbara blinked – but then she laughed cheerfully. ‘Good to see you too, Nikki,' she said, and bent down to give her a kiss.

I was sure Mum would wriggle away. She didn't. Her good arm hooked round Auntie Barbara's neck and she hugged her hard.

‘So how are you?' said Auntie Barbara.

‘Fine!' said Mum. She still had great wads of bandage on her breast and under her arm. Her face was ghostly pale without her make-up and her hair hung in limp strings.

She pulled me close for a hug too, whispering in my ear. ‘Has Jake been in touch?'

‘No,' I said wretchedly.

Mum sighed as if it was somehow my fault.

‘Lola Rose has been a little star, Nik. She's been so responsible and grown up.'

‘Yeah yeah yeah. Takes after you then, doesn't she?' said Mum.

‘Kendall's been brilliant too,' said Auntie Barbara. She was laying it on a bit thick now. Kendall had been a right pain.

Mum just gave a little snort.

‘Mum?' said Kendall. He climbed up onto the bed, wanting to see her face. He frowned at her. ‘You look horrid, Mum.'

‘Thanks a bunch,' Mum muttered, pushing him away. ‘Get off the bed, Kendall, I don't want you breathing all over me.'

Kendall slid off the bed, tears in his eyes. He looked at me to make it better. I knew he hadn't meant to be unkind. He was worried that Mum still looked so ill.

‘I don't like you,' he said, his lip trembling.

‘I don't like you either,' Mum said, shutting her eyes.

‘I don't want you for my mum any more,' Kendall said, tears spilling. ‘I want Auntie Barbara.'

I covered his mouth up quick. ‘He doesn't mean it, Mum,' I said hurriedly.

Maybe he did. He thought Auntie Barbara was wonderful. She knew all about sharks for a start. She'd been on holiday to America and seen the island where they made that old movie
Jaws
, the one where the shark chews people's legs off when they're swimming in the shallows.

Auntie Barbara got it out the video shop for Kendall that evening. He watched it sitting on her vast lap, George clutched to his chest. Auntie Barbara was worried that he might be frightened but he didn't seem to mind a bit. He only got upset at the end, when the shark died.

I couldn't watch any of it. I sat cross-legged with my back to the telly, working on my scrapbook, a pile of magazines by my side. I was doing a ‘Favourite Food' page for our family – Mum, Auntie Barbara, Kendall and me. It was difficult to balance the page. Auntie Barbara had heaps and heaps and heaps, I had lots, Mum had hardly anything if you didn't count wine and ciggies, and Kendall just had a red ice lolly.

‘Did you see sharks when you were on holiday, Auntie Barbara?' Kendall asked.

‘Not swimming in the sea. I saw whales though, lots of humpback whales. I've got photos at home, I'll show you sometime. I went out in this special whale-watching boat. The whales like to eat plankton so they blow out this sticky stuff and all the little fishy things get stuck and then the whales come along and go chomp chomp chomp.' Auntie Barbara mimed it for us. Kendall did his best to imitate her and blew sticky stuff out of
his
nose by mistake.

‘Have you ever been to Disneyland, Auntie Barbara?' I asked. ‘My friend Harpreet has and she says it's the best place in the whole world.'

‘I haven't ever been there. Still, maybe we could go some day?'

‘You mean, you and Kendall and me? And Mum? But how could we afford it? The lottery money's all gone.'

‘I could treat us,' said Auntie Barbara.

‘Are you rich?' Kendall asked excitedly.