Lonely Heart (16 page)

For the first time in months I felt rested.

Something heavy lay across my waist. I opened my eyes and stared directly at Antonio’s closed ones.

He stayed.

Inhaling, I drew in the scent of his skin. He wasn’t dressed in his work clothes, so he didn’t smell like oil and grease. His scent- a combination of natural musk and the job he loved- was welcomed during his visits.

And missed when he left.

I remained still, determined not to break the spell. Antonio held me in his sleep. He hadn’t pulled away or moved to the sofa.

Memories of what it felt like to be held by a man who cared about me made my eyes water. Luke was the last man who made me feel loved. But in the weeks before moving out, he avoided me. Coming home late, sleeping on the sofa…

Nothing changed in the months of being alone except no man lived here.

I studied the perfect jaw structure of the man in my bed. His caramel skin, jet black hair, thick eyebrows, and full lips…

My feelings for Antonio were a mixture of appreciation and affection. He’d been here for me, never once judging me for the decision to leave Chloe’s father. It still floored me how he went out of his way to make sure she was taken care of. My daughter was not his responsibility.

He even made sure I got what I needed. Emotionally, financially…

Physically…well, that was a bridge neither of us addressed. But that kiss…

My attraction could not be denied. The more time we spent together, the more intense it got. I was pregnant when we met, completely out of the dating game. Now I was a single mother. My dream of a life with Luke destroyed, imagining life with Antonio was a fantasy I refused to focus on.

Yet, he went out of his way to do things for me no other man who was ‘just a friend’ would do. Why would he want to be invested in my daughter and me?

Oh God…why hadn’t I seen this before? Could he be
in love
with me?

I gulped, studying his closed eyes.

When I considered the time he spent at my home…

The last time he mentioned another woman was the night he put the crib together.

And oh my God, I asked him if he were gay. What was wrong with me?

The brief heat of his kiss and the way he held me now proved he wasn’t.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get lost in this moment again.

What if our relationship status changed from friends to lovers?

Unlike Yasmine, I didn’t have the nerve for the friends-with-benefits thing, especially now as a mother. What type of example would be set for Chloe? So what, she was too young to understand, but still…

I studied the shape of his lips. Every part of me wanted them against mine again. It would be simple; he was only a few inches away.

What if I were wrong? What if he only kissed me so I’d stop complaining? In the time knowing him, Antonio never flirted or hinted he may be interested in anything else but friendship.

Talk about being confused. In the end, it all came down to convenience. I’m horny and he’s here.

God, I’m pathetic.

I moved slightly; Antonio’s grip on my waist tightened. “Are you okay?” He wiped sleep from his eyes.

“Yes,” I managed, though my voice betrayed me.

He reached over, pulled loose hair from my cheek, his lips turning up in a lazy smile. “You are not a good liar.”

Oh great, I was a mess when he arrived last night, my hair all over the place and eyes probably bloodshot from all the crying done beneath the sheet. But now, even well rested, my cheeks were stained with the dried salt from tears. I moved to get out of bed, but his grip went back to my waist.

He reached for my hair again, letting it slide through his fingers. “Don’t go. Talk to me, Kaity. Tell me…what are you thinking right now? Be honest.”

Be honest? Oh boy…

“It’s been a long time since a man was in my bed.” I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for his laugh.

“I’m glad it’s me, then.”

Surprised by the depth of his voice, I opened my eyes. All hints of laughter were gone. Instead, his gaze lowered.

“When was the last time you were truly kissed?”

My heart kicked up a notch as my attention went to his. “Too long.”

“Hmm…” Antonio adjusted his position so my head lay on a pillow, one arm resting above my head. The hand that had been around my waist now stroked the side of my jaw, his touch light as a thumb ran across my parted lips. “It’s time to fix that,” he murmured.

He lowered his mouth to mine; my heart nearly flew out of my chest. Our lips connected in a kiss so gentle I thought it was imagined. A quick check showed Antonio’s eyes closed, a slight smile on his face. When they opened, his eyes seemed a shade darker than usual.

“Can I kiss you again?”

Was that really a question? I nodded.

The next kiss was longer, an exploration of mouths and sensation. When he pulled back, our noses touched, parted mouths only inches away, inhaling each other’s breath.

I risked a peek and found him gazing down at me, apparently relaxed and in control.

Me? A wave of desire grew inside of me, threatening to explode at any moment.

“Antonio?”

“Yes…”

“Don’t stop.”

He smiled, then his lips were on mine again, taking the kiss deeper. Caught up in the wave of emotion and desire, I didn’t know whose tongue snaked out first. Antonio tasted like rice pudding, one of my favorite desserts; just the right amount of sweet to make me crave more.

My fingers were in his thick hair, holding firm, encouraging him to stay as long as he wanted. I moaned, not caring who heard me. I didn’t care if I woke Chloe.

“Chloe!” I sat up straight in the bed, knocking him in the nose with my forehead. “Oh crap, I’m sorry!” Both of my hands went to my mouth. “Are you alright?”

“Ow,” he rubbed his nose, “It’s okay and she’s fine. Relax.” Antonio sat up next to me. “Tiffany checked in a few hours ago. She’s watching her for the night. Chloe’s had a bath and a bottle. She’s in good hands.”

I flopped back on the bed, covered my eyes with a pillow. “I am such a bad mother!” Fresh tears emerged.

“Hey,” Antonio pulled the pillow from my face. “You are not a bad mother. If you were, would I waste my time being with you?”

I couldn’t open my mouth to respond.

“Chloe has everything she needs. A mom who loves her so much she’s terrified of failure, which means you’ll do everything in your power to succeed. She’s with an aunt right now who not only has your back; she’ll do anything for her niece. She’s got two God-Aunts who’ll kill for her, and she’s got me. I love her as if she were my own.”

My eyes widened.

“So, like I said, she’s taken care of for the night.” His voice softened, as his eyes went back to my mouth. “Let me take care of you.”

Antonio leaned down and kissed me senseless.

His lips left mine to explore my throat. “Can I…take care of you?” His breath, soft as a feather near my ear, sent delightful chills across my skin. My chest surged forward involuntarily as his hand slid down to my breasts and their hardened nipples. I whimpered.

“I need to hear you say it, Kaity,” he kissed the underside of my jaw. “Can I?”

So many things went through my mind, but I didn’t deserve any of them, not from him, not from any man who was so perfect it scared me.

“Tell me,” Antonio pulled away, far enough for our eyes to connect. “…what do you want me to do?” Heat and desire boiled behind those red-brown eyes as if waiting to be set free.

So I did, knowing full well I was about to be selfish.

“Make love to me.”

‘Make love to me.

I waited for those words for what seemed like eternity.

But my waiting was about more than just sex. Over the past three months, my feelings for Kaitlyn intensified. It became a struggle to keep them hidden.

Was it possible she could be ready for more?

There were too many variables in our relationship; too many things that could make a possible future disappear before it began.

But now, with her in my arms displaying the signs she might be open for more?

Kaitlyn was vulnerable and emotional right now and needed to know she was loved and appreciated. Actions instead of words. I demonstrated that for months, patiently waiting for her to see me.

Maybe she wasn’t exactly ready for the words, but the physical act…

Kaitlyn’s hand slid down my chest to the front of my jeans, her fingers gripping my belt buckle. Her eyes were heavy with desire.

I pulled her hand away, kissed the fingers. “I’m not in a hurry.”

Excitement showed in her eyes when I slid the covers away, revealing the body I fantasized about. I appraised the view. The night shirt Kaitlyn wore
was wrapped around her waist, exposing boy shorts and a sexy pair of legs. Oh, what I was going to do with those legs.

When my gaze traveled back up, her cheeks flushed pink as if suddenly shy. Her sometimes timid nature was one of my favorite qualities.

Deep down, Kaitlyn wasn’t shy. After all, she hadn’t hesitated about kissing me.

My fingers slid over newly exposed flesh, from her knee, up to her hip, then down the inside of her thigh. The sexiest moan escaped plump pink lips. Her skin was softer than I imagined.

Kaitlyn drew my hand between her legs,
any hint of shyness gone. We both moaned at the contact. I gave her what she wanted, a slow slide of
fingertips against damp fabric.

Her fingers slipped into the depth of my hair, lightly grazing my scalp with nails while maneuvering my mouth back to hers. The kiss deepened, passionate and full of heat. Her hips moved frantically, searching for release. My fingers slid beneath the cotton band of her underwear to bare, hot, slippery flesh.

“Oh God yes!” She dug her nails into my wrist.

My tongue savored the taste of her throat as she rode out her orgasm, my fingers moving, not stopping until she did. I waited until she seemed to settle, then took her over the edge again.

I lifted my head to study flushed cheeks. Her mouth opened, breath heavy, as she opened her eyes. “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

I chuckled, kissed her mouth. “We’ll worry about me later. Right now, I want you naked.” I gripped the edge of her t-shirt, pulling it over her head as she laughed.

“You sure about that? You’ll be holdin’ out for a while. I have a very active libido.”

The pale pink nipples of her breasts, tight and in need of ministration, distracted me. “Me too.” I palmed the one closest to my mouth and savored.

A very satisfied sigh came from Kaitlyn as her fingers slid over my head and down my shoulders. “Come here.” She tugged on my shirt, urging me to settle between her open legs.

I did, and took my time sampling every inch of her milky white completion.

“Take this off; I want to touch you…”

I obliged, sitting up enough so she could tug my shirt over my head.

Her hands were on my chest. “God, I love the color of your skin.” She sat up, ran fingers over my pecs; her tongue followed.

I closed my eyes. The feel of her mouth and hands reminded me exactly how much I missed sex. It had been months since my break up with Gina, and with her my desire had waned.

My attention had been devoted to discovering who Kaitlyn was and becoming her friend. Over time, my feelings deepened and the desire to be with her became an urgent need. A need ignored until now.

Kaitlyn brought out the primal side of me.

Momentarily caught off guard, she pushed me on my back and settled on top. The view took my breath away. Her jade eyes were my aphrodisiac. I memorized everything. From the sloppy bun with its long, golden strands dangling free to frame a luscious mouth, to her exposed cream colored skin.

“Take your hair down for me.”

In what felt like slow motion, Kaitlyn lifted her arms above her head to remove the band. The blond waterfall rained down her shoulders, covering the creamy swell of her breasts, leaving the pink tips hidden from view. I reached up, ran my fingers through it, then tugged her gently back to my mouth.

Lost in the assault of her lips, I gripped her hips as she rolled against my groin in anticipation of what was to come. I was hard, ready to absorb anything she wanted to do to bring me to the brink of losing control. Then, and only then would I take her and…

“Coño!”

“What?” Kaitlyn pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

“Condoms…don’t have any.”

“What? You’re a guy; you’re supposed to have them in your wallet!”

“Yeah, well, I haven’t been sleeping around because the woman I wanted was unavailable…until now.” I wiggled my eyebrows.

Her thin eyebrows creased. “Well, it’s not like I’ve been havin’ sex either. I haven’t looked at a condom in months.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Since sex hadn’t come up between us, I threw out the old stash kept in my truck. Mental note: stock up and keep them handy at all times.

“There’s a gas station down the street.” Kaitlyn said, a hint of desperation in her voice.

“They don’t stay open all night. There’s an all-night pharmacy a few miles from here, but by the time I leave, get there and get back, we won’t have enough time. I don’t want to rush this. I have a job scheduled in a few hours…” She groaned. “Looks like we’re screwed, huh?”

Kaitlyn smirked. “You mean it looks like we’re not screwin’.”

I loved the way she was with words. Funny, even when she wasn’t trying.

“We’ve waited this long. I can wait a little longer.” That would be my new mantra because in truth, I really, really wanted her now.

“We? Speak for yourself! I’m horny, my hormones are out of control, and my emotions are liable to flip flop at any moment. I’ve got a hot guy who’s rock hard between my legs,” She gyrated her hips against me for emphasis, making me groan, “…who’s given me the first real orgasm I’ve experienced in months. Not to mention my hoo-ha is starved for action and is now bein’ denied.”

“Hoo-ha? Did you really just say hoo-ha?” I burst out laughing.

“Yes, I did,” she tried to be serious; failing, she slapped my chest instead. “Stop laughin’ it’s not funny.”