Lonely Heart (27 page)

“Luke? What was he─”

“He was giving me the heads up on your conversation, man-to-man. Apparently you’ve been playing both of us.” I looked her up and down in disgust. “And I’m selfish?” I walked a few feet down the sidewalk, unable to control my temper.

Kaitlyn followed. “What did he tell you?”

I faced her and saw fear in her eyes. One arm was across her chest while the other toyed with the cross on the necklace I gave her.

“You set him up, got pregnant so he had no choice but marry you.” I shook my head. “Is that why my decision to use protection was a problem? Did you need reassurance I would keep my word? I promised you, Kaity,
promised
on the necklace you’re wearing that I love you. Damn! Do you have any idea how much I care about that little girl up there?” I pointed towards her apartment. “You had me already! You didn’t have to do this!”

Tears filled her eyes. “Antonio, please don’t yell…the neighbors are looking out of their windows.”

“Do I look like I give a damn about the neighbors?”

“Antonio Luciano Rodriquez!”

Both of us turned as my grandmother walked towards us, Chloe on her hip. She’d obviously been drawn to her window like every other nosy person in the complex.

“Dios mío,” I mumbled.

“What is going on here?” She glared at us both while Chloe clung to her shoulder. “Don’t you have any shame, no decency? I don’t know what is wrong, but you better take it inside before the cops come.” She went to Kaitlyn’s side, put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Kaitlyn nodded and reached for her daughter.

My grandmother’s glare turned on me. I rolled my eyes.

“Oyeme, don’t you dare disrespect me! I raised you better!” She raised a hand as if to hit me.

I put my hands up and backed away. “Perdoname, Abuela. I’m done with this.” I addressed Kaitlyn. “With you.”

“Antonio!” my grandmother said, her surprise obvious.

“It’s okay, Ms. Alverez, let him go.” Kaitlyn’s voice was full of sorrow.

I blocked it out and headed for my car, determined to put space between myself and the woman who I’d come to love.

“Kaitlyn, why are we having another relationship intervention discussion?” Yasmine asked as she breast fed one of the twins. “Didn’t we just do this a week ago?”

“That’s a good question,” Ebony added. She sat on the floor with Chloe, supporting her as she bounced up and down, strengthening her legs.

We were in Yasmine’s living room, taking advantage of the fact her husband, Zack, was working late and we had the house to ourselves.

My attention went to my fingernails. I couldn’t believe how much our lives had changed over the past two years. After watching Ebony and Yasmine deal with the repercussions of the secrets that threatened to ruin their relationships, I’d sworn to avoid those types of pitfalls. To me, my man was perfect, our relationship was strong, and my happily ever after solidified.

How wrong was I?

My perfect man decided he no longer wanted our child.

The day I left, I convinced myself I didn’t need a man to take care of me or my daughter.

Then I fell in love with a man who went above and beyond to care for me and a child that wasn’t his. Falling in love with Antonio had not been my intention, but I did. And I won’t change it for a thing.

It’s amazing how much you don’t realize what you had until you’ve lost it all.

And I’d lost it all because of making the wrong decision, over and over again.

As hard as I tried over the years to be perfect, I wasn’t. No matter how hard I tried to hide my secret, it came to light. It was only right that when my dirty laundry came to light, my best friends be here to set me straight.

“Okay, so, fess up, what’s going on?” Yasmine’s grey eyes bore into my soul, making me squirm.

I took a deep breath, exhaled, then forced myself to look at them both. “My pregnancy was planned. Luke had no idea.”

Yasmine’s jaw dropped while Ebony mumbled, “Hmm.”

When her mouth finally closed, Yasmine sat back, nodded her head. “Well, that explains a few things.”

“Such as?” Ebony inquired.

“Why she rushed to move in with him and why she appeared nervous the night she told us she was pregnant. I asked how Luke felt; she wouldn’t look me in the eye.”

I sat back in my seat and put my face in my hands.

“See,” Yasmine continued, “no matter how much we envied each other’s happiness, we never know what is really going on behind the scenes.”

“Exactly,” Ebony chimed in. “No matter how much we talk to each other.”

“Yeah, sometimes secrets can be too shameful to share,” I added.

Both of my friends nodded and gave me their full attention.

“Why did you do it? You guys were happy. Luke was attentive, treated you right. Lord knows he was always around.” Yasmine said.

“He had the best intentions when he asked me to move in. I’m the one that screwed everythin’ up. Yasmine, after what happened to you with your ex, and Ebony, you were gettin’ married… I realized I was with a man who made promises, but dragged his feet to fulfill them. I was impatient. Then one of his co-workers started flirtin’ with him right in my face. He didn’t stop her. I decided to take things into my own hands before he moved on. I made up an excuse to stop takin’ birth control. I got pregnant thinkin’ it would remind him of what we had, but instead it backfired.”

“Damn,” Yasmine muttered.

“Why did you tell us he didn’t want the baby?” Ebony asked.

“Because it was true, he didn’t. It turns out his father put him under a lot of stress at work. Then there I was, demandin’ he do what I wanted. In the end I pushed him into cheatin’ on me. If we had just talked, who knows…maybe we would have worked it out and still been together. My pride made me act stupid.”

“Pride,” Ebony said, “can get the best of us.”

I nodded in agreement. “My attempts to avoid the issues you guys dealt with only made my life difficult. In the end, I brought not one, but two lives into my disaster.” They looked at me for clarification. “Chloe and Antonio. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t give Chloe up for anythin’, but it’s so unfair to her.”

“Antonio’s a good guy, he’ll see you through,” Yasmine said, trying her best to be reassuring.

I shook my head. “No, after last night, we’re done.”

My friends stared at me with raised eyebrows.

“Last week you said he wanted to get back together. Damn, girl, what the hell did you do in a week?” Yasmine asked with raised eyebrows.

“When I told Luke the truth, he went to Antonio and told him I was usin’ him. Last night, Antonio confronted me about it. I didn’t have a chance to get a word in because he’d made up his mind. He doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

That above everything else hurt the most. I let my tears fall in an effort to let it all go. I was with my friends, my sisters. For once, there was no need to hide behind a fake wall.

Yasmine looked me straight in the eye. “Well, were you…using him?”

“No, I have never used him, never planned to fall in love with him either. But it happened. It’s taken this stupid fiasco to realize just how much love and promise he’s brought into my life. I have no idea what I’m gonna do without him.” I wiped my eyes. “One thing is for sure, there will never be another Antonio. No man could ever compare. I’m done. My focus is to take care of my daughter, help my sister continue to find her way, and kick ass at my job. That’s it.”

Ebony stood with Chloe in her arms and came to my side, embracing me as much as she could with one arm.

Yasmine rose from the couch, having finished feeding Mackenzie and putting her in her baby seat, hugged me with both arms. “You’re going to be okay,” she said, her own tears audible in her voice.

“We’re here for you, Kaity. You’ll never be alone,” Ebony added.

“Thanks guys.”

Friendship came in spades when it came to my girls.

Romance…well, that was something I would never think of again.

“Have you decided how to handle Luke?” Ebony settled on the sofa with Chloe in her lap.

I reached for my daughter. Ebony handed her over, and I cuddled her warm body for comfort. Despite my mistakes, giving birth was the best thing I could have ever done. Regardless of what came next. My daughter would be the one decision I would never regret.

“Since he’s come back in our lives, he’s been a good father. I never doubted he would be. But that’s all he’ll ever be. The two of us have hurt each other too much to try again. In fact, can you guys do me a favor and watch Chloe for a few hours? I have a few things to handle on my own so I can get on with my…our lives.”

They nodded. I kissed Chloe, leaving her in the care of her aunts. In my car, I pulled out my cell phone, pulled Luke’s number up on speed dial.

“Kaitlyn,” he said as soon as the phone rang. “What’s wrong? Is Chloe okay?”

“She’s fine. You and I need to talk.”

“Do you want to meet somewhere?”

“No.” I had no plans to see him face-to-face until it was his visiting day. “Look, I owe you an apology and explanation.”

“No,” he cut me off. “I get it. I’ve been thinking about things and how much of an ass I was back then, trying to figure out where we went wrong. This was a culmination of mistakes made by the both of us. I’m still pissed about the timing because, Kaitlyn, I love you, always have. I glad you ignored my demand to…,” his voice caught before he cleared his throat. “That little girl is my life. I’m sorry for hurting you, Kaitlyn.”

I clutched the phone as fresh tears sprang forth. “I know.”

His sigh was heavy on the other end of the line. I could imagine him rubbing his brow. “How do we work this out?”

I took a deep breath. “Joint custody. We’ve been doin’ okay with the trial run. As long as you keep helpin’ out and bein’ there for her, we’ll be okay. She knows you now, so she can start spendin’ the night, if you’re comfortable with that. The same goes for your family. She’ll need to know them, too.”

“Thank you for that.” He paused. “What about Antonio?”

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. “I don’t know what you said to him, but he came to see me last night. For the record, I had no intention of findin’ someone to replace you. Chloe will always know you as her daddy. You were wrong for sayin’ anythin’ to him at all. Antonio is a good man who was a friend when I needed one. We didn’t become romantically involved until after Chloe was born and it was obvious we were through.”

“Oh…” The line went silent.

What else was there to say?

“I have to go, Luke. I’ll have Chloe ready on time this weekend.”

As soon as we disconnected, I lay my head on the headrest. The next person I talked to was worth more than a phone call.

Chapter 43

“Adios, Antonio.”

“Adios,” I yelled.

It was past work hours and the last mechanic was leaving for the night. Everyone had chipped in with setting up the shop bays and storage area with new inventory. There were less than five days left before the big day. Though the shop wasn’t officially open yet, I took advantage of the empty building, testing out the new vehicle lifts and tools by working on my project car.

Besides, with all of this free time on my hands, I refused to sulk around my apartment, spending the evening alone.

I focused all my energy into loosening a rusted bolt that refused to budge from its position. The unfairness of my life was a vicious cycle that continued to repeat itself. If it wasn’t death taking the ones I loved, it was a lie. I cursed and threw the wrench across the garage. The metallic bang didn’t ease my anger.

Why didn’t I see this coming? Luke’s reappearance in Kaitlyn’s life put a strain on our relationship from the moment I met him. If I hadn’t pushed her into seeing him so they could work things out for Chloe’s sake, then maybe we would still be together.

Or maybe, I would be the idiot in whatever game Kaitlyn played.

That above everything else that happened between us frustrated me the most. She never once came off as a user, even before we became lovers. My attempts to help her were always a struggle. She never blatantly asked me for anything. I did whatever she needed willingly.

I even pledged my love first.

Luke’s side of the story about what went down between the two of them was nothing like what happened between the two of us. Yet the questions he raised made sense.

What did he gain from pushing me out of their lives?

Did he want her back? As angry and bitter as he sounded, it seemed being reunited was the last thing on his mind.

I grabbed another wrench from the tool box, lay down on the creeper, and slid beneath the engine of my project car to reach the bolt from another angle.

The truth was simple: things between us were over. Nothing would be gained from dwelling on what happened. I aimed my frustration on the rusted bolt in an effort to regain control over something in my life.

“Antonio, are you in here?”

Kaitlyn’s voice floated through the shop. Startled, my hand slipped. “¡Mierda!

“Are you okay?” Her voice got closer as she entered the bay.

I slid from beneath the truck and looked at my thumb. It bled profusely.

Kaitlyn rounded the front of the car. “Oh my God! Where’s the first aid kit?”

“By the restroom.” I got to my feet and searched for a rag not covered in grease. My efforts failed.

Kaitlyn returned with the kit and paper towels. “That looks nasty.” She pulled a wad of paper towel and reached for my hand. I had no choice but accept her aid.

“Ow!” The pressure she applied was intense.

I watched as she worked to stop the bleeding. The care she put into what she did humbled me. After cursing her out in front of her apartment complex, she should be slapping me instead of taking care of me.

My attention drifted to the waves of blond hair and lips that I’d grown to love. My chest tightened at the memory of what we once shared.

“Kaity, why are you here?”

The eyes I loved met mine. “I came to apologize for any pain I caused you. Instead I ended up causin’ more damage.” She shook her head in disappointment and focused on my bleeding thumb.