Long Way Home by Carolyn Gray (24 page)

The sharp pang of envy smacked him. Everything he’d longed for was here, because of

him, but he was as outside of things, as he’d always been. And always would be.

Flowers and books and photographs of the family were scattered around. He stepped up to

the fireplace and looked at a picture of Derek and Samuel, the oldest boys. Both were smiling,

embraced by their mother, who stood behind them. The other photographs were of the girls.

There was also one he didn’t expect, the only white face on the mantel. His own.

“I cut that out of a magazine,” she said softly. His throat tightened. “It was the only one I

could find of you smiling.”

He turned, his gaze clouding. He clenched his jaw, forcing the momentary emotion away.

“I could’ve sent one to you.” Though he couldn’t think of any offhand that would be better than

what she’d found.

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She came up beside him. “Now why would I want that? This one, this was caught in the

moment. It’s you.”

“I didn’t know they were taking a picture.” Or he would’ve gone for his usual serious look.

She raised one eyebrow at him. “This will do fine.” She touched his face, then pulled him

into a hug. He returned it with a fierceness he hadn’t meant to show. After a moment, she pulled

back. “What brought you here?”

“Can’t I drop by and visit when I’m in town? Just to see you?”

She eyed him, then motioned for him to follow her. “You’re never in town, Lee,” she said

over her shoulder. “And you weren’t planning on coming by.”

He hesitated, grimacing. She was right, and he suddenly felt rotten about it. He should’ve

come before. He followed her reluctantly. She was already in the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee.

“I know.”

“You’re here now, and that’s what matters. I think you’ve a compelling reason too.” She

pointed to a stool. “Sit.”

He did so. The dog stretched out on the kitchen floor. “Nice husky. You finally got a dog.”

“He’s half husky, half malamute. My sons got him for me last Christmas.” She looked at

him pointedly. “If you’d been here, you would’ve seen him.”

“I…” She always invited him for Christmas. He always found an excuse not to come. He

knew she understood—they’d talked about it once, how he didn’t do Christmas. But really, it

would’ve been nice.

“You’re a man of few words, and I understand that. But tell me what’s wrong, son.”

He tensed, then relaxed, reached for a sugar packet, and studied the label without really

seeing it. This was what he’d come for, after all, right? “I saw Gev’s parents yesterday.”

She’d been about to pour the coffee but stopped. “You did?” She continued what she was

doing, but he saw the concern in her eyes. “And how did that go?”

“Not very well.” He told her what all had happened, accepting a mug of coffee as he did

so. She settled on the stool opposite him and waited patiently, asking no questions. He told her

about the ticket, going to the ballet, seeing Gev onstage and recognizing him, meeting him

backstage, and what happened to his roommate the next day. About seeing Gev’s parents.

And their reaction.

She grimaced. “The woman’s been harboring that for a long time. Was this the first time

you’ve seen them in…how long?”

“Years,” he said. A long time. He glanced at his watch. It was three o’clock. “I missed my

flight.”

“On purpose,” Ruby said, peering over her mug. It had huskies on it. “If you’re looking for

a reason to talk to Gev, to see him…”

He put his mug down and pulled back, avoiding her gaze. “I tried.”

“Oh?”

His face heated as he remembered his reaction, all too positively, to watching Gev dance.

“I went by where the ballet company practices before I came here.”

She studied his face, her dark eyes suddenly dancing, her mouth twitching. “And?”

“I… He was practicing with another dancer.”

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She leaned forward. “And you didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Uh, something like that.”

“Why not? Or wait until he was done dancing?”

He felt embarrassment having a field day on his face. Because he was in no state to? He’d

forgotten completely what he was there for? He’d been hit by a ton of bricks marked GEV IS

HOT, YOU IDIOT and was in full-on freak-out mode?

Yeah.

“Is he a good dancer?” she asked after a moment.

“Incredible. He’s just—” Lee didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t betray the powerful

effect Gev had had on him. “I can’t believe how amazing he is. It’s inhuman how high he can

leap. And it isn’t just that,” he said, staring unseeingly at his coffee. “The way he moves, so

incredibly gifted. I’ve worked with ballet companies before, and I’ve never seen anything like it.

Gev’s amazing. Even better than he was the other day in the performance. I wish I’d realized

how talented he is.” He brought himself back to Ruby and pressed his lips together. “I don’t

understand what he’s doing here. There’re far better places than this.” He took a sip from his

mug. “I don’t see how he could be better than he is right now, but if he doesn’t go somewhere

where he can study under someone really good, well… I’d hate to see talent like that wasted.”

He caught her narrowed gaze and mentally backtracked his enthusiasm. “It would be a shame,”

he added lamely.

She touched his hand. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so animated.”

He looked at her, confused. “What?”

“Think about it, all you just said. And
how
you said it.”

Lee fell silent, blanking his mind. Or trying to. Closing his eyes didn’t work either—he

saw Gev when he did. Very alive, very real Gev.

Gev he wanted. He sat back and looked at his friend, then away again. He felt like a

teenager. His face heated—hell, his whole body did. “Uh, yeah.”

She laughed. “Does he know you’re gay?”

He stared at his almost empty mug. “You know you’re the only one who does.”

“But you like him—”

“No,” he said, pushing his mug aside and standing. He couldn’t. It was wrong. “I can’t.”

“And why not? Tell me. Why not?”

He opened his mouth to protest but shut it again. “I need to go.”

“This is why you came.”

He stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“Stef’s gone, honey.”

“But Gev’s his brother. That’s—”

She came around to him. “That’s life. He doesn’t know you’re still here in Dallas. Am I

right? And he didn’t want you to go? That’s what you said.”

Lee felt wretched. He didn’t want her to be right—or did he? Stef was dead, Gev alive. The

thought of leaving how they’d parted as the last he would ever see of Gev tore him apart. Gev

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had been so upset, almost begging him to stay.
It was just a crush he had on me
. Wasn’t it? “No.

He didn’t want me to go.”

“Isn’t it time you stopped hiding from yourself? You deserve happiness. With someone

who loves you.”

“Gev is just infatuated.”

“Maybe. And what’s wrong with that? Besides, from what you told me, I think he needs

you. Whoever killed those poor boys might try again.”

“I know.” He feared the same thing. It terrified him, actually. What if something did

happen to Gev now, and he hadn’t been there to stop it? “Detective Ramirez asked me to stay.”

“So you should. And you’ll bring him for dinner, when you’re ready. The kids would love

to see you.” A car alarm went off outside. They looked at each other. “Is that yours?”

He pulled out his key fob and hit the alarm button. The beeping stopped. “Guess so. Stupid

rental. Where are the kids, anyway?” Not that they were kids anymore.

“At school, work.” She looked at the clock. “In fact, I need to go pick up Samuel. You can

catch up with them later. Now, get going, you hear? And bring Gev when you want to.”

“Ruby—”

“I’m just saying, he’s welcome here.”

His face was surely bright red. But warmth had settled into his chest. Maybe she was right,

that this was what he’d come for.

To face himself.

He opened the front door, making sure the dog wasn’t anywhere near. He had no wish to

chase a husky today. “Thanks, Ruby.” Movement caught his eye. A runner in a hoodie paused at

the end of the street, looked at him, panic crossing his face, then bolted around the corner. Ruby

followed Lee out onto the porch and stopped.

“Did you see that?” Lee asked her.

“Maybe he set the alarm off.”

Lee stared at the spot where the man had been, then shook off his imaginings and stepped

off the curb and around to the driver’s side of the car.

“Lee,” Ruby called out.

He punched the button to unlock the doors. “Yes?”

“Where will you find him?”

He opened the door. “I don’t know. I’ll try the dance studio again first, I guess. He might

still be there. I have his cell number too.” At her look, he snorted softly. “Yeah. I know. I

should’ve talked to him already.” But he hadn’t been ready yet. He was now. At least to tell Gev

that he was staying and wanted to be there for him.

A lot had changed for him in the past three hours, he realized.

“Be careful. I don’t want to be reading about you in the papers next. Not like that.”

He didn’t want that either. “I’ll be careful.”

“Wait. What’s that?”

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Halting his slide into the seat, he straightened and looked over the windshield. Tucked

beneath one of the wipers was a piece of folded yellow paper. Dread rocketed through him.

Trouble
. He didn’t know why, but that was exactly what he thought.

He reached around, pulled the paper out, and opened it. The words made his mouth dry.

Something bad’s going to happen at the studio. Get him out of there. Please
. The
please
was

underlined with thick lines.

“What is it?”

He yanked out his wallet, raced around the car to Ruby, and stuffed Ramirez’s card into

her hand. “Call Detective Ramirez. Tell her something’s going to happen at the dance studio.”

He bolted back to the car.

“Lee! What are you going to do?”

He slammed the door shut and started the car, then took off. He flipped his cell open and

scrolled for Gev’s number, cursing the fact that he didn’t have it on speed dial. But why would

he? As he tore down the street back toward the dance studio, he tried over and over again to

reach Gev.

He didn’t answer.

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Chapter Fourteen

Gev tried to blink, but his right eye wouldn’t cooperate. Blood pounded in his face; he’d

have one hell of a pretty shiner tomorrow, he imagined. Finally he forced his left eye open.

Someone had propped an ice bag against his face, but it had slid down. He put it back,

wondering how much time had passed since Chad’s father had tried to bash his head in.

The door opened, and Margot’s admin, Doris, walked in, closed the door behind her, and

bent down to peer at him. He looked at her with one eye. The good one. “How’s your head

feeling, Gev?”

“Like it’s been through a rock crusher. How bad is it?”

“Can I turn on a light?”

“Sure.” He shifted on the couch so he wouldn’t have to look at the light directly. His whole

body ached. How could his whole body ache? He pulled the ice bag off and looked up at her. She

made a face; clearly he didn’t need to answer her question. “It looks that bad?”

“Looks like shit.”

Someone else opened the door. Margot. Her eyes crinkled with uncharacteristic worry as

she sat on the chair next to the couch, a glass of water in one hand, two Tylenol capsules in the

other. “Take these. They’ll help a little.”

Gev winced as he sat up. Nausea punched him, and he closed his eyes and lay back again.

“Fuck,” he said. “I feel like I might throw up.”

“Could he have a concussion?” Doris said.

“Maybe.” He heard the rustle of keys. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“He should’ve gone an hour ago.”

“I’m fine,” he protested. He dropped the ice bag and sat up again, more slowly this time.

Last thing he wanted was to go to the hospital. “Where’s Fran?”

“She left after she was sure you were okay.”

“Is Nina on her way?”

Doris put the ice bag back on his head. “I still can’t get hold of her. Want me to call your

parents?”

“No.” No way.

“Well, who
do
you want me to call?”

“No one. I’ll sit here awhile longer. I’ll be fine.” He dropped the ice bag again. “What

happened to Chad’s dad?”

Margot got up, went behind her desk, and shook her computer mouse. “Well, after Jim and

Anthony hauled him out of there and pushed him into a closet, I had Doris call Earl. Fortunately,

he was down the street hanging out at the coffee shop. Bastard’s sitting in jail by now, I hope.”

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“He was upset, Margot. I don’t exactly blame him.”

She glared at him. “You realize what he’s done, don’t you? You won’t be up to helping at

the dance camp.”

“I’ll be fine.”

She gave him That Look. “No, you won’t.” She thumped her desk. “Dammit, now I’ll have