Longing for Kayla (8 page)

He roughly ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, this is messed up.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

Jesse’s bitter laughter broke through the silence. “Yeah, ’cause clearly that would have gone well.” He paused then looked up at her and took her hand. “This wasn’t all about me wanting to get with Chris.” His fingers traced a pattern across her palm. “I mean, what happened between us was pretty fucking amazing.”

“I know. I was there.” Kayla smiled.

“How fucked up is it that I want to fuck both of my best friends?”

With a grin on her face, Kayla raised her palms. “Pfft, I know the feeling.”

She wrapped her arms around Jesse and held him against her body. “I get it, Jes. I wanted you both so badly there was no way I could choose between you. What the three of us share has always been amazing. The only thing missing between us was sex, and now that I know how incredible that can be… Wow.”

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it because I don’t think Chris is going to come around to our way of thinking.” His sullen voice almost made her laugh. Jesse had never been good with not getting his own way.

“Give him time, Jes. We both have had years of fantasizing about this idea. For Chris, this is all really new.”

“He’s been in love with you since we were kids.” Jesse groaned and roughly ran his hand across his face.

She jerked her head back. Chris had been in love with her? How could she not have known that? They needed to have a serious talk about running from their feelings.

“Fuck, maybe I did take advantage of the situation. I knew how much he wanted you and that he would take you any way he could get you. I shouldn’t have put him in that position. Maybe I should just leave, so you guys can work things out between you.”

“Don’t you dare leave. I was there too, Jesse. Chris was just as into this as you were. I think that’s what has him so messed up. Give him time, he needs to figure out what this all means and come to terms with it in his own way.” She tilted Jesse’s head to force him to look at her. “He wanted you, Jes, don’t beat yourself up about it. He’s a smart guy, he’ll figure out how great this could be if he just gave it a chance.”

Their eyes met and held until Kayla finally felt like Jesse believed her. Then she kissed him. “Trust me.”

“I hope you’re right, Kay.”

She sat down on his lap, seeking comfort through sex. Jesse unhooked her hands from around his neck and set her on her feet.

“I’m sorry, Kay, but I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Hurt welled up in her chest. “I thought you said this wasn’t just about Chris.”

“God, Kay. It wasn’t, it isn’t. Lord knows I would love nothing better than to make love to you, but I just can’t do that to Chris. He’s been in love with you for so long, it would destroy him if we were together without him.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “So, what? If he can’t come to terms with things, then that’s it? We all go our separate ways?”

Jesse buried his hands in his pockets. “I guess. I mean we can still be friends.”

“Yeah, sure we can,” she scoffed, unable to keep the bitterness she was feeling from coming to the surface.

Tears welled up in her eyes. How had everything gone so horribly wrong? Just yesterday they had been talking about her moving in with them and now it seemed as if that would never happen.

When the first teardrop rolled down her cheek, Jesse stepped toward her. “Come on, Kay, don’t cry. We’ll figure this out, I promise.” He pulled her into a hug, more brotherly than anything else.

“I just think we need to put a hold on anything sexual between us until we figure out where we stand with Chris. I screwed this up too badly already without adding anything else to the mix. Trust me on this. I know Chris. He’d want us to wait until he gets his head straight.”

She knew he was right but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

Chapter Five

It had been five days since Chris had seen Kayla or had any real contact with Jesse. It seemed as if both he and Jesse were trying to avoid each other. He grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter and gave a cursory check of the room to make sure he hadn’t left a mess for Jesse to clean up when he got home. The last thing he needed was him bitching about what a pig he was.

They were working opposite shifts this week, so it wasn’t unusual not to have hung out with Jes, but usually they would have had a beer or a cup of coffee together in passing to help decompress. That was one of the best things about being roommates with Jesse. He understood the daily stress of the job.

As a paramedic, Jesse was often called out to the scene of accidents and crime scenes that Chris worked. After, they’d talk through the cases. Jesse’s medical knowledge helped give Chris an insight into the victims he wouldn’t otherwise have. It’s funny how much you could miss something you didn’t even realize was important.

Swinging into the police station parking lot, he saw his partner sauntering into the building as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Granger was a typical family man, two kids, married to his high-school sweetheart. He was living the dream.

Chris wished he could talk to him about what was going on to get some perspective, but there was no way he could speak to him about this. If Granger found out he was even remotely interested in a relationship with a guy he’d request a new partner. Homosexuality and the Blue Wall didn’t mix. Damn it, this was so messed up.

His cell phone buzzed on his hip. Grabbing it, he glanced at the display screen. His heart rate picked up. Kayla. God, he wanted to answer the phone, to hear her voice. But he just wasn’t sure he was ready for all that entailed.

He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket, opened up the car door and headed inside for his shift. He’d have to talk to Kayla eventually, now just wasn’t the time.

Chris hung up his car keys and personal belongings in his locker, grabbed his weapon and holster and eased into it.

“Hey, loser, you almost ready to go?”

He closed his locker and turned to face his partner. “Yeah.”

Chris eyed Granger’s newly cut hair and freshly shaven face. “Don’t you look pretty? You get all gussied up for me?”

“Fuck you. Gina made me take her out for dinner tonight before my shift. Just the two of us.” Granger rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why she makes me do the whole wining and dining her thing when I have to go to work. After this many years, the only reason to go on dates is to get laid, and I certainly didn’t get that.”

The mere mention of sex made Chris think of Kayla and Jesse. Memories of their weekend together filled his brain.

“Man, if I knew how little I’d get laid after I got married, I might have played hard to get and made her wait.”

Chris laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure Gina would have let that happen.”

Granger stuck up his middle finger and Chris rolled his eyes. “I can see it’s going to be a fun night.”

“You don’t know how good you’ve got it, man,” Granger told him.

If he only knew.

Chris grabbed the keys to the unmarked car they’d been assigned and initialed the sheet. “Let’s ride.”

On his way out of the station, he tapped the counter to let the dispatcher know they were leaving and their radio would be on.

They had barely pulled out of the parking lot when the radio crackled to life announcing a 10-75 domestic disturbance in progress.

Flipping on the siren, Chris pulled a u-turn to head in the direction of the call while Granger radioed in they were on it.

When they arrived at the house, the front door stood half off the hinges. Huddled together shivering under a bush sat two children, faces wild with fear. Chris crouched down so he was on eye level with the kids. “Hey, guys, I’m Officer Hanson.”

He glanced up to see an elderly couple making their way across the street. Granger intercepted them, allowing Chris to focus on the kids.

“Can you two slide out of there?” Neither child moved. He stuck his hand out to urge them forward. “Come on, guys. I promise you’re safe, nothing’s going to happen.”

The elder of the two children stared back at Chris, her weary eyes far too old for her age. She sighed, and without dropping her arm from around her little brother, she crawled forward. United they stood before Chris. Goose bumps covered their skin and they clutched each other as much for warmth as comfort. Taking note of their thin pajamas, he quickly took off his jacket and wrapped it around them both. These kinds of calls always pulled at him. It was such a goddamn shame to see kids like this.

Granger was busy talking to the elderly couple and held up his notes to show Chris he had all the info. With a better understanding of the situation, his partner was ready for them to go inside. Chris took hold of both the children’s hands and led them toward the elderly couple.

“Can you watch them for me?” he asked the woman. She immediately crouched down and enveloped the children in her arms.

A loud crash sounded inside the house, accompanied by a woman’s scream. Granger and Chris bolted for the house. Sirens sounded down the block, indicating backup was on the way. Chris took one last look at the children and booked it after his partner.

Unable to take the time to follow protocol, Chris pushed open the front door of the house. A woman lay huddled on the floor in the fetal position, a man kicking her exposed back and ribs. The sick sound of breaking bones filled the air.

“Police. Put your hands up,” Granger called out.

The man raised his head. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Itching for a fight, Chris stepped forward. “Not going to happen, son.” He allowed all his anger and disgust to leach into that one statement. “You need to step back and put your hands where I can see them.”

The man kicked the prone woman in the ribs. “Fucking bitch.”

That was all Chris needed to step in and subdue the man. He pressed his knee into the man’s spine and secured his hands behind his back. “Stay down.”

The man slumped beneath him. “Smart move,” Chris told him.

Officers Wheeler and Michaels walked in as Chris was pulling the man to his feet. Chris passed off the scumbag. “Take him downtown and throw him in lockup until we get there. He was kicking her when we walked in.”

With the suspect secured and being taken in by the other two officers, Chris bent down beside his partner to help assess the woman.

“We’ve got a bus on the way,” Wheeler told them.

The roaring sirens barreling toward them made Chris tense. He really hoped Jesse wasn’t working overtime. He didn’t feel up to having a confrontation with him tonight.

Footsteps sounded on the staircase outside moments before two paramedics swept into the room. Chris breathed a sigh of relief when Jesse wasn’t one of them.

With the woman loaded on the bus, Chris and Granger followed them to the hospital to take the woman’s statement and hopefully get her to agree to go to Transition House. He knew if Kayla had a chance to work with the woman, she’d have a good chance of breaking the ties to her relationship and saving those kids from growing up in that environment.

Granger set a cup of vending machine coffee beside him while they waited for the doctor to finish up with the woman they had brought in. Finally, the doctor stepped out and gave them the okay to talk to the victim.

Chris pushed aside the curtain. Jesus, the guy had worked her over good. Bruises covered most of her face and her eye was almost swollen shut.

“Mrs. Jacobs? I’m Officer Hanson. We were at the house.”

“I remember you and just call me Eileen, please.” Her broken voice was barely a whisper. “Where are my kids?”

“They’re in the cafeteria with one of the candy-stripers, getting some ice cream.”

“Oh good.” A sob racked her chest and she covered her face with her hands. “What kind of mother am I to let my kids see that?”

Granger shifted uncomfortably on his heels, looking anywhere but at the crying woman. They’d been through this kind of thing before. Knowing how uneasy crying women made his partner, Chris took the lead. He stepped toward the edge of the bed. “Eileen, your husband is in lockup right now. But we can’t hold him for very long without a sworn statement from you.”

Her bottom lip quivered. “What do you need?”

Chris pulled back, stunned. He’d expected to have to do the whole big song and dance about why she should leave. He never expected her to be ready. “Um, I just need to take a statement from you so we can press formal charges.”

Her head bobbed weakly, the only indication she had heard him.

“Do you have anywhere you can stay?”

Without speaking, Eileen shook her head.

“We can take you to a woman’s shelter and get you settled after we get your statement.”

“My kids will be with me, right?”

“Of course.”

She studied Chris as if she expected him to be lying. “I can’t lose my kids,” she whispered.

“You won’t.”

She titled her head toward the nurses’ station. “I overheard them saying how people like me didn’t deserve to keep their kids.”