Lord Grenville's Choice (10 page)

Most disturbing was the fact that he had not come to see Jack. And Jack was heartbroken.

“Where is my papa?” he had asked the first day.

“I am certain he will come to see you soon,” she had said.

Today, she had finally resorted to a lie. “He has had to leave town for a few days, darling,” she said, making up the only excuse she could think of. “He will be back soon.”

“Has he gone to the country?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps he is buying my pony and cart!”

This sustained Jack for a time. It also had the effect of drying Felicity’s tears and imbuing her with tremendous anger on her son’s behalf. Had Alex not thought her selfish for her proposed separation of the family?

When Dr. Caldwell called the following morning, she found it difficult to hide her poor spirits. He spoke to her a number of times before she answered him, so deep was her distraction.

Finally, he asked, “Is anything amiss, my lady? Are you feeling quite the thing?”

If he were not her own doctor as well as Papa’s, she would have been discomfited by the personal inquiry.

“I am merely troubled by a personal matter. Physically I feel quite well, thank you, Doctor.”

She felt his eyes on her as she straightened her father’s bedclothes and tidied his bedside table.

“It is possible for emotional problems to make you unwell, Lady Grenville.”

Felicity chose not to reply. She was too close to tears. Since her father’s illness, no one had been solicitous of her, she had had almost no sleep, and the heartbreak she was harboring had her feeling raw inside. To her horror, a tear slid down her cheek. Then another.

Papa noticed. “Fliz!” he cried in alarm.

Felicity turned away from him and put her hands up to cover her face. She felt the physician’s hands grip her shoulders, turning her to face him.

“Now then,” he said. “I would not have you cry for anything in the world.” He offered her a starched handkerchief. “You are always so concerned for others. Allow me to comfort you. Tell me what is amiss. I have not seen Lord Grenville these several days.”

She tried to blow her nose delicately, then wiped her eyes. “I fear he has left me.”

“Surely not! Why, the man adores you!”

His hands remained clasping her shoulders as his words brought fresh tears. Aunt Henrietta and Anabella chose that moment to enter the sickroom.

The former flew to the sickbed. “Has his lordship taken a turn for the worse?”

Dr. Caldwell dropped his hands and said, “No. Lord Morecombe continues to improve.” To Felicity, he said, “Perhaps you should take a moment to refresh yourself.”

Nodding, she hurried out of the room, feeling Anabella’s eyes like a knife at her back.

What would she make of that scene, I wonder?

It did not really matter now, of course. Going to her dressing room, she poured cold water from the ewer into the basin and splashed her face. She looked in the mirror. There were dark circles under her eyes that looked like bruises. Even after being splashed with cold water, her face looked sallow. Her lips were chapped from being chewed nervously. How appalling she looked!

After pinching her cheeks frantically, she applied balm to her lips and powdered her face. That was the best she could do. Let Anabella make of it what she would.

Walking back into papa’s room, she saw that her sister-in-law was engaged in conversation with Dr. Caldwell. Lady Henrietta actually had her papa laughing.

“How nice to see you, Aunt, Anabella.” She stood in the doorway, her chin raised.

To her surprise Lady Henrietta asked, “What is making you so miserable, my dear?”

Surely, Alex’s aunt would know the answer to that question! Felicity answered, “Nothing that some company cannot cure!”

“I received your note about accompanying you and your friends on the piano at the benefit musicale.” Pausing, Aunt Henrietta turned to the doctor. “You see we have been very busy on your account, my good man.” She turned back to Felicity. “I should be delighted. You need only tell me the pieces you will be performing and I shall make certain to prepare them.”

“I have decided upon Mozart. The arias from
Cossi Fan Tutti
and
The Magic Flute
.”

“Very well, dear. You
have
given me a challenge!”

Anabella smiled full strength at the doctor. “I have been busy planting the herbs from the list you gave me. Our gardener thinks me quite mad. He’s never known me to have the least interest in the garden.”

“I am certain you make quite a lovely picture among the spring blossoms,” Dr. Caldwell replied.

Anabella simpered while Aunt Henrietta turned her interest to Felicity’s papa, who was demonstrating his improvement. “My Lord, you are smiling today!”

“Let us try something,” Dr. Caldwell said. In moments, he and Aunt Henrietta had Lord Morecombe propped up in bed.

Felicity winced as he asked, “Hen, wherz Aliz?”

The woman looked at Felicity. “Why, did your daughter not tell you? He has gone to Leicester for the races. He will be gone a week in all.”

Her words took Felicity completely by surprise. He was not with Elizabeth? He was out of town?
At the races?
Anger swiftly chased away her melancholy.

“The scoundrel!” Felicity said. “Why did he not bother to tell me or poor Jack?”

“Why, I am certain he meant to!” Alex’s aunt said. “I saw the note to you waiting on the table for the footman to the deliver!”

“A note!” scoffed Anabella. “How like him! Why, it could have easily gone astray. It might have been knocked to the floor and carried out with the rubbish!”

Henrietta focused on her niece with hard eyes. “Not so easily, Anabella. One footman—our house to this one.”

Thinking of all she had suffered the past three days, Felicity could scarcely contain her resentment. Had her sister-in-law interfered once more? And if he intended to go to Leicester, why had Alex not simply told her sometime during that morning they had spent at Gunter’s? She felt ill-used, indeed. All the drama, the tears, the anguish she had endured! Well, not for a minute longer!

Instead, she made much of her father, sitting up in bed. “Now you can eat something different from custard or jellies. Would you like some tea and toast with honey this morning, Papa?”

“I would,” he answered.

“We shall take our elevenses together,” said Aunt Henrietta. “And Felicity shall tell us what program she and her friends have devised for the benefit concert and when it is to be.”

When her guests had left, Felicity went up to Jack and proposed a walk in the park. She knew no other way than by strong exercise that she could possibly work free the anger that had built inside her.

As she listened to Jack’s chatter, Felicity found herself wishing that she did not have the benefit to consider. Now that he was well enough, her greatest wish was to remove her father to his country seat for the rest of the season so that she would not have to deal with Alex at all. The air in London was sooty and filled with unsavory smells. Far better for her father’s recovery would be the country air of Hertfordshire.

As Jack threw crumbs to the ducks, she realized that in the last four days, she had convinced herself that Alex had made his choice—that he had chosen Elizabeth. It was hard for her to come back to the knowledge that he had avoided making any choice at all by leaving town.

Her own desire to leave grew out of the fear that were she to stay in town, she would have to endure the anguished drama she had experienced this last while all over again. Clenching her fists, she vowed that were he to choose Elizabeth, she would not be here to witness it.

The musicale was scheduled for next week. She would place Aunt Henrietta in charge of the bandage-making afterward and leave for the country. Just making the plan eased her mind and heart.

{ 15 }

A
lex returned from Leicester anxious to see his family. Thoughts of Elizabeth had retreated during the week as pictures of Felicity and Jack grew bolder in his mind.

Bounding up the stairs to the nursery of Morecombe House, he hoped to find his wife taking supper with their son. He was successful in his quest.

“Just such a scene as I pictured!” he declared, swooping Jack into his arms and onto his shoulders. Leaning down from this position, he kissed his wife on the top of her head.

“Papa! Did you buy my cart and pony?”

“Your cart and pony? No, Jack. I was at the races.” He set the boy down and looked into his disappointed face.

“Mama said you were at our house in the country.”

He looked at his wife, eyebrows raised. “Felicity? Did you not know I had gone down to Leicester?”

“No, my lord. I did not,” she replied, her jaw set.

Guilt settled heavily upon him.

“Mid-week, your aunt and sister were kind enough to visit Papa. They informed me.”

She and Jack had gone three or four days without knowing where he was? “But I left a note!”

“Which Anabella says most likely went out with the rubbish.”

“What is Leicester, Papa?” asked Jack.

“They have a horse-racing track there. I went to see the horses run.” He ruffled Jack’s hair. “When you are big, you will go with me. It is great sport!”

“Put the boy down, Alex. He must finish his supper so he has time for a story before bed.”

“Will you read to me, Papa?”

“Of course! There is nothing in this world I would rather do at this moment.”

Jack giggled.

When Jack was in bed, Alex went to visit Felicity’s father as she was settling him for the night.

“Good evening, my lord! You are looking grand indeed! Sitting up in bed reading! And it appears by your tray as though you are taking regular food.”

The look his father-in-law cast upon him was grim, however. Aunt Henrietta had reported to Alex that Lord Morecombe was “all smiles.” It certainly appeared as though he was not in his father-in-law’s good graces.

“Tomorrow, Dr. Caldwell is going to seat him on the edge of the bed,” Felicity said. “If Papa does well, perhaps he will be ready for his chair.”

“Leicester!” the man said, narrowing his eyes. “Hmph.”

“His speech is coming along, too, as you can see,” Felicity said, keeping a straight face.

Suddenly, Alex was flooded with repentant thoughts. He had left Felicity far too abruptly. He realized that while tending her father and catering to the emotional needs of their child, her last image of him was holding Elizabeth’s hands in the park! And to think his wretched sister had denied his wife even the cold comfort of knowing his whereabouts for several days. Even had she received it, a note was far less than what she deserved from him.

Facing Lord Morecombe’s scowl, he said, “Rotten show, my excursion. Have no idea what I was about.”

Taking his wife by her tense shoulders, he said, “Please accept my sincere apologies, my dear. I was utterly thoughtless. Especially to leave you with nothing more than a note.”

“Anabella delights in making mischief, you know.”

He sighed. “I will be waiting for you in your sitting room when you have finished here, Felicity.”

He paced his wife’s small but cozy sitting room. A fire burned in the grate. There were many reminders of her childhood in the little room: a black silhouette of her young profile was framed on one wall, a beautiful rosy portrait of her sitting with her mother hung over the mantle. There was also a succession of samplers demonstrating her early proficiency with embroidery.

Finally, Felicity entered and stopped just inside the doorway. Her face was set in lines of disapproval, her jaw firm.

“I know I have behaved badly, Felicity,” he admitted with a pleading smile. “Please be kind and forgive me.”

“Your mother spoiled you excessively,” she said. “And Anabella, as well.”

“We are both quite abominable,” he admitted. “But John is a decent fellow.” Walking to her, he pulled her gently into his arms and began kissing her hairline where little tendrils curled around her face and straggled at her nape. As he felt her soften against him, he kissed her full, soft lips, her cheeks, her neck, and the sensitive skin beneath her ears.

“Let me spend the night here with you,” he whispered. Her honeyed magic was working on him, pulling him into the cocoon of her warmth, into the embrace that made him man enough to shoulder all his roles in life.

He felt his wife stiffen. “My forgiveness does not stretch that far,” she said, her voice suddenly flat. Putting her hands on the lapels of his jacket, she said, “Until you walked into the nursery today, the picture I had carried in my mind for the last week was of you grasping Lady Elizabeth Beaton’s hands, clearly supporting her as she wept. Did you notice that she was looking at Jack while she cried? Looking at
our
son? There is no need for you to tell me the reason for her distress. She wants to have a child by you. She wants to give you another family.”

Alex put a hand over his wife’s curls and pulled her head down onto his breast. He stroked her cheek with a finger. “You do not know her circumstances, darling. If you did, you would feel more pity, more understanding.”

Felicity said nothing.

“Her husband treated her as a slave. Elizabeth was forced to tolerate terrible abuse.”

She still said nothing.

“Looking at our family, she is mourning a loss.”

His wife said something quietly into his waistcoat.

“What did you say?” he asked.

“You have been taken in, Alex. I’ll wager my new Chinese fan that you have been taken in.”

Alex drew his brows together. “How could you possibly know that?”

“I do not as yet. But I will wager my Spanish mantilla that Aunt Henrietta can find out the truth quickly enough.”

“Felicity, what on earth would I do with your mantilla and fan if I prove to be right?”

“Perhaps give them to your sister so she will not hate me so very much.”

“You must see that she is pea green with envy over everything you possess. She thinks you and your father to be rich as Croesus.”

“She wants to think that,” Felicity leaned back in her husband’s arms and looked straight into his eyes. “She believes I bought you. That you love Elizabeth. That I never had your love, so you were faithful to Elizabeth in your way. I am nothing but an interloper.”