Lost (37 page)

"You sound
like you're leaving."

She wanted to
be kissed, I could feel it. The desire to give her what she wanted
was almost overpowering, but I forced myself not to act on it. I
hadn't earned that yet.

"I have
something that I need to go do…"

I started to
untangle myself from her, but she grabbed me with the kind of
desperate strength that I hadn't been sure she was capable of. That
required more emotion than she'd shown up until recently.

"Is it
because of Jess? You cried out for her a few times while you were
asleep. I know you said that you'd started moving on, but if that's
all that's stopping you then I can wait. I've traded in everything
I've spent the last thirty years working towards for you, Isaac.
Don't cast me aside; I don't think I could survive that."

"It's not
because of Jess. I really have moved on. It took me a while to
realize it, but she really is gone. I still love her, but she's not
coming back and I've come to accept that. There's nothing there to
stop me from becoming…close…to someone else."

Even as I said
it, I realized just how true it was. I had vague memories of Jess
being inside my dreams during the last week, but it had been Jess
that I'd been dreaming of, not Jessica. I was sad she was gone, but I
wasn't pining anymore after the girl wearing her body.

"What is
it then?"

There it was,
the one question I couldn't answer. If she thought back over our past
conversations she'd know what it was, but right now she didn't
remember the reason. Maybe that wasn't fair to her. Her whole world
had changed so completely over the last few days that it was only
natural that she would feel like my world had shifted just as
dramatically.

She could see
that I had feelings for her, and for some people that was enough.
Love changed everything for those kinds of people. They weren't
wrong, love really did change everything, but it also changed
nothing, all at the same time. She was going to have to figure out
the answer on her own. If I just came out and told her, she'd have to
make a decision, one she'd already made, but this time I'd be holding
a gun to her head. I wanted her to do the right thing because it
was
the right thing, not because she thought it was the only way to win
my affections.

"Do you
trust me?"

She looked at
me for several seconds before finally nodding. The nod was hesitant,
almost as though I'd dragged it out of her in spite of her better
judgment, but she nodded all the same.

"Everything
in my past tells me that I shouldn't trust you—that I shouldn't
trust anyone—but I do trust you, Isaac. How did you manage
that?"

"I'm not
sure, but I'm very glad that I did. I promise you that I'll tell you
as much as I can as soon as I can. I can't promise that everything
will work out perfectly, but I'll do the best I can for you,
Celeste."

"Okay. I
already know that's the best I'm going to get out of you. I can
accept it for now. Go do what you have to do, I'll be here waiting
when you get back."

I took her hand
and pulled her up off of my bed. "You don't have to wait, you
can come with me if you want to."

We walked out
to the living room like that, holding hands even though I wasn't sure
that was a good idea. I didn't want to make promises to her that I
couldn't keep. Holding hands wasn't the same kind of promise as
kissing, but it was still a promise. In the end I didn't pull away
because I knew that she already knew what I was thinking, and despite
that she was still holding onto me with that same brittle, determined
strength.

I got yet
another major shock when we stepped out into the living room and I
saw Ash sitting a few feet away from Jax. I was so excited to see him
with his eyes open that I pulled Celeste towards him. He stood as we
crossed over to him. He took in the fact that we were holding hands,
and I saw his lips tighten slightly before he finally relaxed and
clasped me on the shoulders.

"Celeste
has been filling me in on your exploits. I owe you one for keeping
Nicolas from finishing the job he started on me, and another one for
getting us all here and keeping us safe for so long."

"You would
have done the same thing in my shoes."

Ash shook his
head. "No, I would have tried to do the same thing, but I would
have failed. You made it happen against all odds. I'm grateful, and
more than just for my own sake."

Jax gave me a
lazy wave. "Don't mind me, I'm just still in shock. Not only did
I dodge a bullet by getting out of New Orleans, I also get to see
Ashley…I mean Ash…again. It seems like it was just
yesterday that he was running around, getting underfoot and playing
pranks on people. If I were going to pick two people to try and
reestablish the pack with than I could have done a lot worse than Ash
and Celeste."

My mind skipped
a track at the idea of super-serious Ash ever engaging in pranks, but
the astonishment only lasted until I had a chance to register the
last half of what he'd said.

"Actually,
that's why I came out here. It's time to go see if I can do something
about all of that. You can come or stay as you'd like."

Ash and Celeste
shot each other confused looks, but my words didn't seem to have even
registered for Jax. I headed towards the door out into the valley,
and Celeste was only one step behind me, still clutching my hand for
all she was worth.

Ash asked Jax
to keep an eye on Kristin and then he was jogging to catch up with us
before the curtain closed.

"What are
you talking about, Isaac? There isn't anything that can be done about
the past."

I didn't look
back at Ash as I continued to lead Celeste down the winding path that
led towards the main lamia cavern.

"I'm not
so sure about that anymore, Ash. It's time to see if the lamias have
yet another trick that none of us have thought to ask them about."

The two workers
stationed outside the cavern entrance saw us coming and one of them
turned and hissed something to someone deeper inside the cave. Set
arrived just seconds after we did.

"Isaac
Nazir! I am very glad to see that you have survived. I have worried
much about you these last several days. Had you died we would have
had a great honor debt to your enclave. Even more than that though, I
would have missed your presence here in the enclave."

"I
understand that I have you to thank for my survival, Set. I
appreciate you moving so quickly to inject me with the anti-venom. I
didn't know that there was such a thing when it comes to lamia
poison."

Set gave me an
uncomfortable smile and looked back and forth at Ash and Celeste
before responding. Evidently his queen's order to answer all of my
questions was still in effect even if there were other shape shifters
present.

"The
poison drives most things when it comes to my kind. It is the
development of poison glands that allows a worker to become a
consort. It is a…painful…transition. There is always
some poison that leaks out of the glands and some of the workers do
not survive the transformation. Even when we get older the leaks
continue."

"Is that
why you heal slower than a hybrid would?"

Set nodded.
"The workers heal at a similar rate as you sun people, but the
older a consort gets the more potent his venom becomes and the slower
he heals from most injuries. Luckily our anti-venom becomes more
potent as well or the leaks from the venom would eventually kill us."

It was an
amazing insight into their physiology. They were organisms that were
in a constant state of war with themselves. If at any point their
production of anti-venom were to drop they would sicken and die in
short order.

I opened my
mouth to thank Set again, and noticed for the first time how
worn-down he looked. Celeste had looked briefly like she'd aged a
decade; Set looked like he'd aged a century. Whatever illusion kept
their full nature from showing through was masking at least part of
how much he'd changed, but he had definitely changed. His face was
now lined and his skin had turned an ashy shade of white that didn't
seem to bode well for his continued health.

"Injecting
me with the anti-venom put you at risk, didn't it, Set?"

He didn't want
to answer that one, but he wasn't going to lie and he knew that I
wasn't going to just let this question go.

"Yes,
Isaac Nazir. There was some risk, but it was controllable. The
anti-venom does more than just keep us alive, it is also a safety
measure in case a consort accidentally injects another consort or
worker with venom. For our kind, a quick injection of anti-venom from
the consort who accidentally poisoned the worker or consort in
question is enough to combat the effects of the poison.

"I did not
think it would be enough for you though, Isaac Nazir. Your kind lacks
our natural resistance to our own venom. As much as I am overjoyed
that you survived, you should be dead."

I waved his
comment away. "How much risk are we talking, Set? How dangerous
is what you just did for me?"

"Under
normal circumstances the consort who injects someone with anti-venom
is the same consort who injected the individual with poison in the
first place. In those cases there is no risk because the decrease of
anti-venom in the consort's system is balanced by a corresponding
reduction in the amount of venom leaking into their body."

"But that
wasn't the case for you."

"No, it
was not I who injected you initially, but I cleared my glands of
poison shortly after using my anti-venom on you. The risk did not
arise until I had been injecting you for several days. The anti-venom
only leaks into the body when the glands are full, but the poison
leaks into the body, albeit at a lesser rate, even when the glands
are empty. There has been some pain, and my normal regenerative
abilities have been weakened temporarily as a result."

I had to close
my eyes and take a few deep breaths to maintain control of myself.
I'd been poisoned myself, I had a pretty good idea of the amount of
pain he'd been in—that he was probably still in. It wasn't a
minor thing for all that he was doing his best to underplay it.

He'd been
slowly poisoning himself in an effort to keep me alive, and he'd been
in excruciating pain nearly the entire time. Set had never called me
friend, but I couldn't think of any surer sign of friendship.

I reached up my
puny human hands and clasped him on his arms. The gesture probably
looked ludicrous given the sheer disparity in our sizes, but that
didn't stop me from doing it.

"There was
no one else who could share the burden with you?"

"No, Isaac
Nazir. The burden was mine alone to carry. With Pal gone there are
only two consorts to protect the enclave. I could not allow my
brother to empty himself of venom and leave our queen defenseless
from the greater threats in the world. Even doing so myself was a
risk that I should not have taken, but my queen gave me permission to
proceed regardless."

"I thank
you once again, Set. Though you have never called me such, I consider
you my friend and feel that I am in your debt."

"It was
nothing less than what honor required, Isaac Nazir."

"I know,
but even among your own people honor is not always followed. I name
you exceptional despite your protests, my friend."

After a second,
Set finally bowed his head in acknowledgment and clasped me on the
shoulders. "I'm very glad that you survived, Isaac Nazir. Much
more grateful than I imagined I could be when you first arrived here
in the enclave."

After a minute
we released each other and stepped back. I forced out my question. If
it had just been for me then I wouldn't have said anything, but it
wasn't for me. There was a lot depending on his answer.

"I'm sorry
to ask this given the fact that I'm already in your debt, Set, but am
I owed a boon for having survived the fight with Pal?"

He didn't move,
but I could feel him withdrawing slightly. I didn't blame him—I
knew how it looked, knew that he thought I'd just been buttering him
up, but I had to ask.

"Yes,
Isaac Nazir. Honor demands that you be granted a boon if you choose
to ask for one."

"As much
as I would like to stay here with you, Set, I will be leaving soon
and I think that my queen and the rest of her people will be coming
along too."

Celeste gripped
my hand harder, but she didn't say anything despite how hard it must
have been to know that our entire trip had been a waste. Ash stepped
forward as if he was about to say something, but I shot him a look
that let him know that he was out of his depth and that—at
least for now— I was the one calling the shots.

"I'm sorry
to see you go, Isaac Nazir, but I can't deny that it will make
many things much easier to have you gone."

"I
understand. Is it possible for you to manipulate the exact time of
our return? If so, this is the boon that I would ask of you. I don't
want to return to Louisiana weeks after our departure, I want us to
return as close to when we fought Onyx as possible."

Set relaxed
slightly as though the thing that I'd asked from him wasn't as bad as
what he'd been expecting.

"Yes,
Isaac Nazir. What you ask for is possible. If you leave in the next
little while there is an opening in the time stream that I can use to
drop you off very close to your boat only a few of your minutes after
we left our territory."

"This is
indeed what I want."

"I will go
make the arrangements, Isaac Nazir. Please have all of your party
ready to go before one of your hours has passed."

Celeste's hand
had relaxed in mine and there was a sense of wonder on her face. I'd
just bought her a chance to get back to New Orleans in time to stop
Onyx from killing any of her people. Ash didn't look as happy, but I
knew I could bring him around if I could get a few minutes alone with
him.