Lost Paradise (26 page)

“Then you still do love me.” Devlin’s tone
was relieved.

“Not enough to live with you,” I said
bluntly. “I’m staying here with Danial and Theo.”

“Lash will be sad to hear that,” Devlin
teased. “He missed eating dinner with you last night.”

I felt a pang then, because I did miss Lash.
But not enough to come back to Dev. “He’ll understand,” I said
firmly. “He saw how upset I was yesterday morning.”

“I want you to come on Monday morning, and
stay until Thursday afternoon. Danial talked to me last night about
this. I am amenable to the idea, especially as you are safe at his
house, and I won’t worry about you so much when you are not
here—”

This was probably the best deal I was going
to get, but I wasn’t agreeing just yet.

“—
I’ll send Lash to get you,” Devlin
continued. “Say about ten, or maybe a little later?”

“I’ll agree to that for next week, on one
condition,” I said finally. “You and I need to talk, Dev.”

“About what?” he said curiously. “I’ve always
encouraged you to ask me anything.”

“I need to understand your business better.
What do you do with these cases I send you, for starters?”

“You should know that well,” Devlin said,
bemused. “You’ve sorted through a ton of my files.”

“And found only employee records, tax stuff,
lots of documents, and love notes enough to drown in—”

“There were not that many, Sar,” Devlin said,
laughing. “I went through them today. That file is cleared out for
you now. I kept only a few important mementos. The rest I had Titus
incinerate.”

Not good enough.
“Dev, you are talking
around my question.”

“Sarelle, haven’t you gone through any of the
white boxes? I was sure you had.”

“What are you talking about—?”

“The white boxes are cases and other business
records,” Devlin said patiently. “The other boxes had everything
else.”

I hadn’t known what the different colors
meant. “I started doing the brown ones, because I thought they were
all from the same period of time,” I said. “I’ll go through a white
one next time I come.”

“Monday. You can do it Monday. And if you
have any questions, just ask me.”

“Okay.”

“Do you forgive me?” Devlin asked, very
serious. “I didn’t mean what I said, about Theo.”

I took a deep breath. “Yes, you did. You’ll
threaten me again with it, probably.”

“No,” Devlin said tiredly. “I will not. There
is no point. You know I won’t do it. I’m too afraid of you hating
me.”

“You’re right, I would.”

“For all I wanted to be under your skin, it
is you who have gotten under mine,” Devlin whispered longingly. “I
desire you more than anything. I lose my temper far too easily with
you.”

“No shit!” I said flatly. “It’s not any fun
to be on the receiving end of your anger, Dev, no matter that you
don’t actually hit me.”

“I know,” Devlin said reluctantly. “I have
asked Titus to look into making something for me that would make me
more…mellow, I guess is the word. At least for the time you and I
spend together.”

“Vampire Valium?” I asked, disbelieving.

“Something like that,” Devlin said with a
chuckle. “I keep apologizing, but even I can see that I’m not
controlling my jealousy and possessiveness enough. I need to do
something before I drive you away from me.”

Had Lash been talking to him about this
when I had been in the bathroom showering yesterday? Or had Titus
or Danial said something to him?
“That’s a good step.”

“I need to go,” Devlin said suddenly. “But
I’ll call you later.”

“When?” I said, looking at the clock. “It’s
six now. We’ll be going to bed about eleven or so, probably.”

“I heard you three were sleeping together,”
Dev said longingly. “I wish I could join you one night. Ask Danial,
when you have a chance.”

Was he kidding?
“I’ll ask him,” I
replied, knowing I would not.

“Good-bye for now, Sar. I’ll call about
ten-thirty. I love you.”

Well, he was trying. “I love you, too,” I
said softly, then hung up the phone and got back to work.

I said to hell with work at eight. There was
more to do, but I was exhausted. Besides, I wanted to see the kids
before everyone went to bed. It was time for a little normalcy.

I walked downstairs. Theo was in the kitchen,
making dinner. He looked very tired as he stirred the vat of
Campbell’s tomato soup, and flipped some grilled cheese sandwiches.
Elle was talking to him, Danial and Theoron absent.

As I came into the kitchen, and took over
from a relieved Theo, it occurred to me suddenly that this was how
Theo had wanted our life to be; the three of us together, preparing
a meal as a family. Then Elle asked me a question and the moment
passed.

Danial and Theoron came in a few moments
later, as I was serving dinner. After gulping her dinner, Elle
asked, “Does anyone want to go for a walk?”

Theo promptly downed the rest of his.
“Sure.”

It had been a while since he had changed
form. I declined, both to avoid the cold and give him the time to
bond with Elle. Danial did also, saying he had to put Theoron to
bed. Theoron protested, so Danial picked him up and carried him
off, loudly protesting.

As I cleared the plates and loaded the
dishwasher, Elle changed in her room. Theo let her outside in her
lion form, then a moment later he was pawing at the door, looking
at me expectantly. I let him outside, with a quick stroke of my
hand over his fur. He gave me a throaty purr, and then bounded
away. There was a roar, followed by an answering one in the
darkness. I smiled and shut the door, locking it.

I went into tuck Theoron in and found Danial
beginning a game of Peanut Butter and Jelly, Theoron’s favorite,
which my son quickly persuaded me to join. Theoron won over Danial,
but only because Danial lost a turn on an unlucky role of the dice.
I was way behind, Lion having eaten all my bread several times.

As Danial and I tucked Theoron in, I again
had the odd thought that this was what Danial had probably imagined
long ago for us: being with our son, spending time playing
together, putting him to bed, and kissing him goodnight. Because
this is what families did when they loved each other. This is what
parents did, when they loved each other and their children.

Moved suddenly, I decided it was best to stay
here until I gave birth, at least. I hadn’t planted a garden yet
back at my house. I would plant one, but it would be here at
Danial’s home. At the end of the summer, maybe Theo and I would
stay here with Danial. We were safe here. Theoron and Elle were
growing fast; I was missing their childhood, being anywhere else
but here. I would never get this night back. If not for Robert, I’d
have been home with Theo. Neither of us would be with our children
here, only with each other. I had to take this opportunity and so
did he, before it was gone.

After we said goodnight, I walked with Danial
out to the great room. “Would you like me to read to you?” he
asked. “We haven’t done that in a long time.”

I made a face, then went down into the
basement. “If you want to follow me as I do laundry.” I walked to
the machine, then began loading clothes. “How’s Mary?”

“She’s very sad,” Danial said solemnly.
“She’s been taking her daughter to chemotherapy all week. There
isn’t much hope now.”

Mary had been gone a lot in the last few
months, as doctors tried many last-ditch efforts to save her
daughter. Danial’s house showed it. Though Cia was managing to keep
the were compound clean somehow. I knew Janice was helping her when
she could, but she was busy herself with the plans for her mating
ceremony that was later in the summer.

“So you’re going to turn her daughter?” I
asked. “I know Mary talked to you about retiring before all this
happened.”

Danial nodded. “I’ve delayed hiring another
housekeeper, being worried about security with Robert and Karl’s
threats. But if things go where they seemed to be heading, we’ll
have a new vampire housekeeper soon enough.”

I nodded. Until this played out, I could
certainly pitch in a little to help. It would probably be only a
month or two, horrible and cold as that sounded.

As Danial helped me fold the dry clothes, I
suddenly felt a kick. “One of the babies kicked,” I said excitedly.
“Danial, feel me.”

Danial put down the shirt and came over to
me, putting his hand on my abdomen. We waited a few minutes
expectantly and nothing happened. The longer we waited, the surer I
became that it had been a fluke. The baby was not supposed to be
kicking this early.

Out of the blue I felt it again, a tiny
flutter within me. Danial felt it, too, his face breaking into a
wide smile. “I feel him, Sar,” he said excitedly. “It’s always so
amazing, to feel that little kick.”

As much as I was grumpy about it, there was
one other who needed to share this news. Devlin wouldn’t want to
miss this. “Danial, do you mind if I teleport quick to Devlin’s
house to see if he’s home yet?”

Danial looked at me carefully. “So long as
you aren’t going to be angry at what you might encounter
there.”

“Dev said that he was going out tonight,” I
said, very careful with my words. “He was probably seeing someone,
I know. But he said he’d call me at ten-thirty. It’s almost that
now.”

Danial nodded. “He’s likely home then. Go
ahead, Sar. Just call me if he’s not there, and you are going to
wait more than a few minutes.”

“I’ll be right back,” I said, giving him a
wide smile. “I’m too tired for a long talk, or anything else.”

I teleported and ended up in the hallway
before Devlin’s bedroom. As I raised my hand to knock, Devlin cried
out in pleasure from within.

“I know how much you like that, Dev,” a woman
said sexily.

Devlin spoke harshly, lust heavy in each
word. “Get over here.”

There was the sound of bodies moving, sliding
across fabric. Then Devlin began to cry out repeatedly, in rhythm,
a woman’s voice joining him.

I knew what he was doing in there with her.
But I had to see it for myself, to see with my own eyes how he’d
lied to me, because even now I wanted to believe there was a
reason. There had to be something more important than he’d just
wanted sex, and didn’t care about what he’d promised me so
ardently.

I took hold of the knob, and twisted it
slowly, opening the door inches at a time.

The room was dark, but the glow from the fire
illuminated their bodies on his bed. Devlin was on top of the
woman, her back to him, her long blond hair that was so like mine
spread across the pillows. She was bracing herself on the bed, the
whole thing rocking slightly with Devlin’s vigorous movements.

He was thrusting hard into her, crying out
with each thrust, holding her hips to his. Just like he had held
mine, many times before.

I moved into the room slowly, shutting the
door behind me. Leaning heavily against the wall, I watched them
copulate, wanting to remember this, to hold onto my anger through
the image, and never forget it. I wished then for a poisoned dagger
to stab him in the back with, like he’d been stabbed so many years
before. That woman had just been doing it for money. I had a better
reason: he’d broken my heart.

Devlin thrust faster into her, and then came
with a loud cry, jerking on top of her. She came, too, screaming
his name in her passion.

“Dev! Oh Dev!”

Obviously, she knew him well. Or perhaps he
asked all his lovers to call him that, so he could remember who he
had fucked, and who was still on the “to do” list.

There was the sound of links sliding, and my
choker with the bear emblem fell off my neck to land on my crossed
arms. I looked at it in shock, and then back up at them, my fury
building.

This was why it had fallen off. The excuse he
had given me to explain it was bullshit.

“Was it good for you?” the woman said
huskily.

He laughed low, and kissed her. “It’s always
good for me with you,” he said, each words heavy with satisfaction.
“Though I wish you would relent, and let us meet elsewhere.”

“I want you here in the bed you turned me in,
all those centuries ago,” she whispered. “I want to pretend it’s
that night all over again. I loved you then, and I still love you,
D—”

“Ah, Catherine, you’re such a sentimental
soul,” Dev said with sarcasm. He chuckled, then made to move off
her.

“I’m not done yet, lover,” Catherine said,
turning beneath him to face him. She saw me watching, but her eyes
flicked over me without pause, giving Devlin no warning.

Her face had a resemblance to mine, though
she was more buxom. She was also a vampire. That together bothered
me. Had he been attracted to me because of her and their past?

Catherine reached down and squeezed his
penis.

Devlin groaned. “Again, so soon?” he said,
immediately aroused. “We have all night—”

“Do we? Doesn’t your Oathed One expect you
soon?” Catherine countered teasingly. “I wouldn’t want her to be
denied her fair share.”

The bitch was playing some game, but for
whose benefit?

“Not tonight,” Dev said softly, then sighed.
“I’ll need to leave to call her in a few minutes. She’s with
Racklan.”

“No, she’s not,” Catherine said with a grin.
“She’s over there, watching us.” She cut her eyes to me, grinned,
and then went down on Devlin.

Devlin froze, then looked over and saw me.
His mouth fell open.

“There is nothing to say, so don’t!” I yelled
furiously, opening his bedroom door. “You won’t be seeing me again,
Devlin. Get your cock sucked as much as you want!”

“Sar, wait—”

I went to slam the door in his face, but he
moved too fast, wedging his foot in the crack. I let the door go to
teleport home and he grabbed my arm.