Lost Paradise (34 page)

Serena gave me an uneasy look. “Are you mad?”
she asked. “I didn’t want you to know about that. It was only that
one night, late last fall.”

Why was I mad, or even surprised? “I’m not
mad. It’s just that Devlin lied about being with you. He said he
never was.”

“It wasn’t for love or even for lust, Sar,”
she said with a sigh. “It was instruction. He simply asked me to
demonstrate to him what I knew. He had been told I wasn’t
experienced, that I was a virgin. He gave me pointers to make sure
I was able to perform my new job.”

I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly
inadequate. None of the men I’d been with had ever complained about
my knowledge, or lack thereof. But I didn’t know much more than
what I’d learned from books and my own limited experience. That
wasn’t a hell of a lot, really. It wasn’t surprising Dev had turned
to Catherine, a woman with hundreds of years of experience, to
satisfy him.
How could I have competed with that, ever?

“Sar, I’m sorry,” Serena said emotionally. “I
can smell how hurt you are.”

“You didn’t do it,” I replied, hugging her.
“I’m not angry, Serena. I’m glad you’re here, that you’re my
friend. It’s just that I feel sometimes like I’m in so far over my
head. ”

Cia and Janice came around the corner. “Sar,
who are you with?” They began walking fast towards us.

“Should I go?” Serena said quickly, looking
as if she wanted to run.

“No,” I assured. “They’re nice.”

Cia came to an abrupt stop five feet from
Serena and me, her expression darkening as she rapidly sniffed the
air. “I smell coyote,” Cia growled. Janice hissed, baring her fangs
at Serena.

A werecoyote bounty hunter had killed Cia’s
family years ago, leaving Cia as the only survivor. But I had never
expected her to hate all werecoyotes because of that. “Stop it,
Cia,” I said firmly. “Serena is part fox—”

“I smell a bloody coyote!” Cia growled
loudly, infuriated. “This what you learned at Hayden, to keep
company with murderers and whores? What a surprise, Sar.”

If I didn’t love Cia so much, I might have
decked her. Instead I gave her a solid shove, knocking her into
Janice. “You don’t talk to her that way!” I said furiously. “Don’t
say another word!”

“You keep company with trash like this and we
aren’t friends, anymore, Sarelle,” Cia said coldly. “Don’t come and
bake with me anymore. If you need help with that demon inside you,
call some other fox to mind your brat—”

Enraged, I started for her. Serena grabbed my
arm. “No don’t, Sar—”

Janice grabbed hold of Cia. “Come on.” They
left, both of them glaring at me.

“I’m so sorry,” Serena said, tears sliding
down her face.

I hugged her. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.
And it’s not mine that I am who I am, either.”

The scene with Cia having glaciated our fun
afternoon, Serena and I picked up our tools, and she called Hayden
for demon transport. After Titus teleported Serena home, I went
inside to shower. After I got the water running, I turned on the
radio. Meatloaf’s “Anything for Love” had just began.

When I got out of the shower a few minutes
later, the song was almost at the end. Happy that the retro channel
I’d been listening to was playing the real version, not the
abbreviated one, I began belting out the female’s few lines, proud
of my voice. It wasn’t Sarah Brighton’s, but it was decent.

Suddenly, I heard, “I can do that. Yeah, I
can do that,” in a rich rolling voice outside the door.

That had to be Devlin. I sung the next few
lines, and again came the assent.

“Will you cater to every fantasy I’ve got?” I
sang. “Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I’ve never known?”

“I can do that now, Love, if you let me in,”
Devlin sang, his voice reaching in through the door to wash over
me. “I will take you places you’ve never dreamed.”

I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell.
But instead, I smiled, cruelly. The next lines were good enough.
“After a while you’ll forget everything. It was a brief interlude,
and a midsummer night’s fling. And you’ll see that it’s time to
move on—”

“I won’t do that!” he protested in song. “No,
I won’t do that—”

“I know the territory, I’ve been around. It
will all turn to dust, and we’ll all fall down. Sooner or later,
you’ll be screwing around.” I sang it with emotion, putting all my
hurt into each note.

“I won’t do that!” Devlin sang, a mix of
anger and hurt. “No, I won’t do that.”

“You already did,” I said loudly.

Only silence answered me. When I finished
dressing, I opened the door, but there was no sign of him.

Later, I asked Danial if Devlin had been here
today.

He just looked at me. “Elle didn’t have a
lesson today.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “That’s not
an answer.”

He gazed at me in silence a moment, then
said, “Abashed the devil stood and pined his loss.”

My guess was the line came from one of the
books he and Devlin had been reading that morning in bed after our
threesome. Unlike Dev, Danial never mentioned where he was getting
these quotes he kept peppering our conversations with. I was sure
he left the mystery because he wanted me to ask him, just as I was
sure that the conversation would then turn to Devlin, and Danial
pushing in his gentle way for a reunion. So in spite of my
curiosity, I resisted temptation. “Neither is that, Danial.”

“It’s the only one you’re getting,” he
replied. “Go to sleep, Sar.”

I turned away from him, irked but resolute. I
was not letting Devlin back in, period.

* * * *

The day of the ceremony dawned clear and
sunny. For once, everything went off without a hitch.

Cia was still not speaking to me, but that
didn’t make Janice and Ivan’s ceremony any less beautiful. It was
held out on Danial’s front lawn, under a tent. The ritual was very
like a wedding, with the usual promises spoken, though there was a
bit about “not letting others into their den,” which I thought
interesting.

At dusk, the reception began. Danial, Elle,
and I sat together, as Theo was on duty that night with Terian.
Still, I got in a few slow dances. Terian also found a few moments
to dance with Sundown. His style was similar to Theo’s, and I
concluded, watching him move, that Theo had been the one to teach
him.

Like all magical things, the reception came
to an end at midnight. After saying goodnight to everyone that was
still speaking to me, I walked inside with Danial.

“So Janice and Ivan are leaving tonight for
Acapulco?” I asked as I took off my earrings.

“Yes,” Danial answered. “They’ll be gone for
a week or so. Warren is staying at your old house.” He paused. “He
asked if you wanted him to start laying in wood for winter. I said
I’d ask you your plans and get back to him.”

What he was really asking was if Theo and I
were going to stay with him after the babies were born. I brushed
my teeth, not daring to answer. In my heart, I didn’t want to
leave. But I knew those feelings weren’t solely my emotions
anymore, they were his, too.

Theo came in a few moments later, and began
pulling off his clothes. “We need to talk,” he said. “Elle’s
sleepover is coming up.”

I’d forgotten all about that. “The first week
in July, right?”

Theo nodded. “She’s adamant.”

“We did promise her,” Danial said with a sigh
from the doorway. “Why don’t you see if you can borrow some of
Devlin’s bears to guard you? You can do it at Sar’s old house
again.”

Theo nodded. “I’ll ask him when he comes next
week to give Elle her lesson.” He slipped on his bottoms. “How’s
the financial end of things?”

“Better than good,” Danial said proudly. “We
are clearing almost 200K a month, after expenses. Gross is more
like 500K a month.”

“I’m asking because I want you to know that
when the babies are born, Sar and I won’t be able to work as hard
as we’ve been working,” Theo said firmly. “I missed Elle’s cubhood.
I can’t miss my son’s, too.”

Danial nodded. “I know that, which is why I
hoped you both might consider staying here, while the baby is
young.” He looked over at me. “Devlin will take his child to Hayden
to raise. Sar will need to resume her visits to him to see the
child. It’s going to be hard enough for Sar to go between two
places. Three will be that much more difficult.”

“She can teleport,” Theo said. “Travel time
that way is nothing—”

“Sar may lose the ability temporarily, if not
permanently,” Danial interrupted. “You can’t rely—”

I let out a gasp. “How do you know this?”
Theo demanded.

“Terian,” Danial answered. “Titus showed him
some old scroll about dhamphirs, and it fits with what Stephen told
me happened before. After Sar has the child, the virus in her body
is going to spike, even with no help from me. Until her blood
returns to what is normal for her, she won’t be able to teleport.
If the virus spikes high enough, she’ll lose the ability
permanently, unless she gets more demon blood. Dosing her again
would be tricky; when she was exposed before, it was accidental. I
doubt she remembers how much got on her hands the first time.”

“Why didn’t Terian tell me about this?” I
demanded. “Why is he always telling you instead of me?”

“Shit!” Theo swore. “It makes things a lot
easier, her being able to teleport.”

“If you stay here, things will be easier,”
Danial soothed. “You would both have to bring the baby here every
day anyway.”

“I thought Sar could stay at home—” Theo
began.

“Unguarded?” Danial said, incredulous. “Alone
with just your cub?”

“Damn it!” Theo said loudly. “This is that
bastard’s fault! If only it wasn’t taking so long to find Robert. I
don’t know why the fuck he just doesn’t challenge me right
off.”

“Yes, you do,” Danial retorted. “He knows
Karl is after you, too. He is hoping to catch you weak, after
you’ve sustained an injury.”

“Danial, we can stay here, but you need to
accept that we aren’t going to live with you permanently,” Theo
said hesitantly. “We have a home—”

“Is it really because you have a house, or is
it because you are both in my bed?” Danial said cuttingly. “That
you are afraid of something happening between the three of us?”

“Danial, Sar is my wife. I want to sleep with
her, live with her. Just her and me and our child. I love you,
but—”

“But you don’t want to share her with me,”
Danial stipulated.

“No, I don’t,” Theo answered. “I never wanted
to, not from the beginning. I’m grateful to you, for all you’ve
done for me, for her, and for our children. But I want time with
her alone. I know she has to come to you, Danial. I know Dev will
probably demand his rights, too.”

“Sar will have to resume her visits,” Danial
agreed. “Devlin is not going to wait forever, Theo. It doesn’t
matter to him that the Oath was broken.” Danial glanced at me, then
back to Theo. “He’ll just get another one from her.”

“I’m not immortal,” Theo whispered.

I took a swift intake of breath, my eyes
wide. “What are you saying?” I asked shrilly.

“There is going to be a day, probably a few
decades from now when I’ll go out on a job, and not come back,”
Theo stated. “You can’t retire in my line of work, Danial. Not once
you’re ranked.”

“I know,” Danial assented neutrally. “I’ve
always known.”

“You’ll have Sar all to yourself then,” Theo
stated bitterly. “She’ll probably still look the same. I’ve seen
your pictures of Annabelle and Dev. She didn’t age at all in that
decade she was with him.” Theo sighed. “You’ll look the same, too,
and so will Dev. But I won’t, no matter how much I work out.”

Danial was silent.

“I didn’t understand how Sar felt, years ago.
I told her she should just love you, spend time with you while she
was young, that it wouldn’t matter when she was older. That you
loved her enough not to turn from her, as she aged. But I
understand completely now.”

Danial reached out and put his arms around
Theo. “I’d change that if I could. All I can say is that how I feel
will not change, no matter how you age.”

How would it feel to see Theo founder? To
take care of him while I remained young and he slipped away from me
by inches? “There must be something we can do.”

“I don’t want you to see me crippled,” Theo
whispered. “I’ll stay as long as I can, until my body begins to
fail. And then I’ll go out, and when I draw down on a mark, I’ll do
it slow enough to take care of things—”

“You will not!” Danial said sharply. “There
are potions that can be taken.”

“I’m not ending up like that fucking snake,”
Theo growled. “Half man, half monster. You know what he eats,
Danial. You know it’s not just Titus that takes care of Dev’s human
liabilities.”

“Hush, Theo,” Danial said abruptly. “Sar
doesn’t need to hear this.”

“I think I do,” I answered slowly, sickened.
“Are you saying Lash eats people? I know he drinks blood, but—”

“Yes,” Theo said quietly. “Titus said
something in front of me once, years ago. I’m not going to repeat
it to you, but the inference was made.”

When Lash had said he could eat only flesh
and blood, I’d concluded he meant animal flesh and blood only. He
hadn’t. Likely the blood in his flask hadn’t been from an animal,
or a donor, either. It also explained why he’d asked Devlin for
some of my blood the night he’d met me, and why he’d been so eager
to drink my blood during our liasons, with barely any encouragement
from me. Revolted, I didn’t reply.

“We should all get to bed,” Danial said.
“Next week is going to be busy.”

The three of us got into bed, both of them
hugging me. But none of us slept for a long, long time.