Love Always, Kate (21 page)

“What about the other one?”

Damian turned
his body a little. Also in black, two interlocking shapes that formed one large triangle was inked into his bicep.

“For Liam,” he said. “It means ‘brotherhood.’”

Just as I had with the cross, I ran my fingers over Liam’s memorial. “When are we going to go visit?”

He paused. “On Saturday.”

Chapter 22

February
19

We’re going to the cemetery today. Yesterday
after school I stopped by the florist to pick up some flowers. I hope Damian doesn’t mind.

He’s been quiet all morning. He didn’t stay over last night
; in fact, he left before eight. I don’t remember him even kissing me when he came in this morning.

I wonder if he told his dad what we’re doing today. He said Dr. Lowell used to go to the cemetery every day and sit there until midnight, but Damian didn’t know when the last time his dad had been out there.

It makes me wonder…who will visit my grave? When? Will I have a steady stream of flowers for a few years and then be forgotten? You know, I’d be okay with that. It would mean they’re moving on, like I have. Dying is just another journey, one which we all will take.

I worry about my parents, though. Mom and Dad’s lives have centered around me. They need each other.

And Damian. It’s been two years since his mother and Liam passed away, and he has yet to cope. Leslie’s prophecy can’t come true. Whether or not Damian’s ready for this, he needs to let go. The healing process has to begin—for them.

And for me.

“You ready?” Damian leaned against the door jamb of my bedroom. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, his hair gel-less, and his
blue eyes lighter than usual. From the stubble poking out from his face, I wondered if he’d slept at all.

I glanced up at him and nodded, tucking my diary under my pillow.

“No wonder girls take so long to get ready.”

“I got dressed, just like I said.” I grabbed my purple scarf from the bottom of my bed and wrapped it around my neck.

“Among other things,” Damian teased, adjusting my scarf in the front. “You look beautiful.” He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. His chin rested on top of my head.

Against him, even through his sweater, his heart pounded in my ear. His arms tightened for a few seconds before he let go. Without a word, he took my hand and led me down the stairs.

I grabbed the flowers off the counter. When I spun around, he averted his gaze to the floor and reached for the doorknob.

In his BMW, I slipped off my gloves and placed my hand over his.

The trip to the cemetery was quiet. He didn’t even have the radio on. His focus stayed on the road, and his lips remained taut.

I peered out the passenger-side window. The city moved in a hurry, yet I saw it all in slow motion. Cars didn’t speed by. People didn’t rush into the sto
res. I peeked over at Damian, the corner of his upper lip set between his teeth.

With all the cars on the interstate, the road seemed empty except for us. We made our way out of the city and onto a deserted county highway. The snow-covered fields glistened in the sun, and icicles hung from the trees like Christmas lights.

Damian made a right turn into the cemetery. He drove almost to the end of the lot before coming to a stop in front of the fence line. His lids squeezed shut as he took his hands off the wheel.

“I can’t do this.” He pushed his fingers through his hair, grabbing a fistful at the top.

I brushed the side of his face, the roughness catching a little on my gloves. “Yes, you can. I’m here for you.”

I watched him sit motionless for a few moments. When he didn’t put the car in reverse, I relaxed and scanned the surroundings.

The first thing that caught my attention was the large elder tree in the corner of the cemetery. Even without the shade of the leaves, the tree was spectacular. It leaned a little to the right and branches sprouted off everywhere, but something about it filled me with peace.

Two headstones poked up under the tree. Neither of them large or fancy, but the gray marble seemed to glow brighter than the rest. Somehow I knew they belonged to Nora and Liam.

My attention shifted back to Damian. His eyes were open now, staring straight ahead at the sea of snow.

“Hey,” I said, taking his hand. “Ready?”

He didn’t respond, so I reached for the door handle.

“Wait.” Damian
tugged at my hand, stopping me. “Just give me another minute, okay?”

I closed the door and leaned back against the seat. Remembering the flowers in the back, I twisted my body and scooped them up, laying them on my lap. My other hand never left Damian’s hold.

Finally, Damian sighed. He looked at me, his irises cloudy. Letting go of my hand, he took the flowers from my lap and opened the door. I waited until he rounded the front of the car to follow him out.

He stood on the edge of the gravel path facing the elder tree. When I came up next to him,
he slid his hand into mine and began to walk forward. The crunch of the snow under our feet echoed off the stones, filling the crisp air. Above us, the clear blue sky reflected the ice plastered to the tree branches.

Damian slowed his pace as we inched closer to the gray marble. The other headstones faced the entrance to the cemetery while Nora’s and Liam’s pointed toward the tree. Feet from them, Damian stopped and took in a deep breath.

“It’s okay,” I said, leaning my head against his arm.

He nodded and made his way around to the tree, keeping his head lowered.
My gaze shifted up before Damian’s. The almost identical stones gleamed back at me.

On the left was Nora’s; on the right, Liam’s
. Along with their names, each stone had etched in the middle perfectly matched symbols to Damian’s tattoos. The cross for Nora, the brotherhood arrow for Liam.

I studied Damian’s expression. His eyes glistened in
the sunlight, fixated on the symbols. His nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw.

“You didn’t know, did you?”

He shook his head. “Dad did all of it. The arrangements. Everything.” His voice was barely audible.

Wi
th the flowers still in his grip, he dropped to his knees, letting go of my hand. The flowers fell to the snow-covered ground as Damian buried his face in his palms.

I knelt next to him, not caring about the cold creeping through my jeans, and rubbed his back.

“I’ve started to come here so many times, but I always chickened out. I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry.”

We sat on the cold
ground, staring at the gray stones. Every so often, Damian would lean his head on my shoulder.

“The tree is beautiful,
” I said, after we’d been sitting in silence for awhile.

“It’s why Dad chose this place. The elder tree represents transition—moving on from this life to the next. Mom would have loved it.”

Ten minutes later, he reached for my hand and smiled. “Thank you for making me come here.”

We stood up, and Damian placed the bouquet of flowers on the ledge of his mother’s stone. He kissed the top and whispered something I couldn’t hear. For his brother, he fist-bumped the brotherhood symbol.

“Miss you, big brother.”

The wind stirred up behind us, making us both shiver. Damian chuckled, leaned down and kissed me. The cold air gusted around us this time, circling its pleasant chill on all sides.

Damian pressed his forehead against mine. “I think they approve.”

He
winked in the tree’s direction before we walked to the car and drove away.

Chapter 23

February 28

S
ign-ups for golf qualifiers were posted on Friday while I was stuck at home with another headache.

The
y’re more frequent now—as Dr. Lowell said they’d be. My good days are really good. But my bad days are getting worse. And lasting longer—two, sometimes three days. I can see it frustrates Damian; he hates going to school while I stay in bed.

Dad’s been awesome, though. On bad nights, I hear the two of them talking in my room.
I clutch the necklace Damian gave me against my heart. He wants so badly to fix the pain, but there’s nothing he can do. We’re still praying for a donor. Honestly, though, I’m not sure they’ll find one.

She hasn’t said it, but Mom doesn’t want me on the golf course.
I think she worries about me getting too hot or that I’ll get a headache and collapse. From what I’ve overheard, they’re working out a schedule so that one of them will be with me at all times while I play. It’s a little overboard, but whatever. As long as I get to play, and they’re happy.

~*~

I squealed and jumped into Damian’s arms.

“I made it!”

Thankfully I’d finished the whole week of qualifiers without missing a day. That had been my biggest concern. The last day I felt a little drowsy and scored my worst game of the week: eighty-five. Luckily my qualifying average was good enough to place at the top. Number two, actually, behind senior Lizzie Cowden, our team captain.

“Congratulations!” Damian swung me
around in a circle.

It was the end of the second full week of March. The snow had melted and the temperatures were rising. The change in the weather had done wonders for my health, in my opinion. My white blood cell count, however, continued to climb according to the last blood draw.

Damian opened the door of my car for me. “I think this calls for a celebration.”

“I
couldn’t
agree more.” The smugness of my statement caught him off guard.

Damian cocked his head and knit his brows. So cute!

“My second wish,” I said. “And this time, I pick the date. Tomorrow. 9
AM
.”

Damian shook his head. “What’s tomorrow?”

I smirked, hoping I looked as adorable as he did with the same expression. Considering our conversation in the hospital cafeteria back in November, I figured I needed the extra power.

“Willow Creek golf course. You’ll need your clubs.”

“Oh…uh, golfing?” He swept his hand through his hair. “Your second wish is to play golf?”

“Not just golf,” I said. “Golfing with
you
.”

Damian’s tongue traced the corner of his lips. “You know I haven’t played—”

“Since Liam died. It’s time to change that.”

“I think I told you that you’d kick my ass. And judging by the score you just put up, I have no doubt.”

I jabbed him in the chest. “I’ll give you a big handicap, even the playing field.”

“One condition—”

“Nope. My wishes don’t come with conditions.”

“I get to take you to dinner tonight.”

I suppressed a giggle and placed my index finger on my lips. “Hmm. I guess I can make an exception. Condition granted.”

“Kiss on it?”

“When have you ever asked before?” I grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled his head inside the car window.

Like he had since qualifiers began, Damian followed me home in his car. I ran into the house, barely able to contain myself. Throwing my arms around my mother, I jumped up and down.

“Guess who made the varsity team?”

My mom shrugged. “Tiger Woods.” Of course, he was the only golfer she knew. She kissed the top of my head. “Congratulations, honey.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

I tried not to notice the worried glance she shot Damian, and I didn’t acknowledge the way Damian’s lips pursed together or his knowing nod in her direction.

After I got off the phone with Dad, I ran upstairs and got ready for our dinner date. Damian simply changed his shirt and was ready to go. I did the works and met him downstairs in a new record time of forty-five minutes. At least I didn’t have to do my hair.

Damian met me at the bottom of the stairs. “
You look amazing.”

He led me to his BMW in the driveway. He officially had his own parking spot now. Opening the passenger door for me, he kissed the top of my hand.

“Miss Varsity-Golfer.”

We ate Mexican food at a local restaurant and laughed at each other trying to balance salsa on our chips before eating them. Though the restaurant technically didn’t have a dance floor, four men played Mariachi on a make-shift stage in the corner. With a mischievous gleam in
his eye, Damian stood up and literally danced around the table and offered me his hand.

I pressed my palm over my mouth. “Uh, yeah. You don’t dance, remember?”

“Ah, seniorita. Baila conmigo.”

“Wait! You speak Spanish?”

“Si, mi amor,” he answered in an awful Mexican accent. “See, I learn stuff in school.”

“You don’t take Spanish.”

“I learned about Google Translate in school.”

I laughed.

Scanning the room for onlookers without turning my head, I felt all my blood flow to my cheeks. A small child turned in his high chair and pointed at Damian. Two teenage girls had their heads together, giggling.

“You’re crazy!” I whispered. “Sit down.”

“No fun in that,” he said and swayed his hips salsa-style.

Ohh. Wait, no!

I bowed my head. Damian reached down and lifted my chin to meet his gaze.

“Come on. You only live once, and I’ve been practicing.”

“No one else is dancing.”

“So what?”

I browsed the tables again. More people were whispering as they checked out Damian’s moves.

What has gotten into him?

“No. Way.”

Damian shrugged. “Your loss.”

With a smirk, he twisted his hips around and cha-cha’d over to one of the booths. My jaw dropped as I watched my boyfriend in horror. He offered his hand to a white-haired elderly woman. She glanced across the table at her husband, who nodded with a chuckle, then took Damian’s hand.

As they danced,
the patrons applauded. Another older couple rose from their seat and began similar moves to Damian and his partner. Before long, more couples joined in, and Damian allowed the lady to dance with her husband, who cut in.

His
blue eyes hooked on mine, and he winked. He held out his hand again. Since he’d encouraged people to dance, I didn’t feel as self-conscious, but dancing with him meant I wouldn’t be able to watch his hips swiveling, and wow, that was hot.

When he reached our table, I stood up and took his hands.

“See? Fun.”

I laughed and kissed his dimple. “See? Crazy!”

Damian hugged me to him and rolled his hips over mine. I tried to imitate what the other couples were doing, but all I did was step on Damian’s toes.

“You may need to add Latin dance lessons to your wish list.” He put both of his hands on my hips to move them himself.

“Yeah, I’ll never dance again anyway.”

“Not never. Prom is in less than two months.”

I hadn’t given much thought to prom with everything else going on in my life. Still, it was a high school rite of passage, an experience I didn’t want to miss. I bit my lip.

A lot can happen in two months, though.

“Katie?”

I jerked my head up. “Yeah?”

“So, will you go with me?”

I swallowed. I didn’t want to make promise
s I couldn’t keep. Forcing a smile, I nodded. “We’ll see.”

Damian’s shoulders dropped. “Not exactly the answer I expected.”

“It’s just that…two months…I don’t know.”

“It shouldn’t take you that long to find a dress,” Damian said. His dimples sunk deep into his cheeks. Then he frowned, his voice lowering. “You can’t think that way, Katie.”

Damian pulled me into him. I hadn’t noticed that we’d stopped dancing until we started again, this time with my head on his chest.

“Okay, I’ll go.” I hoped with all my heart that I’d be able to keep my promise.

Damian hugged me closer.

When our meals arrived, we stopped dancing. Others continued, and the whole charade seemed to put extra pep into the band. By the time we’d finished our meal, however, the dance floor was empty.

The night air smelled fresh with a hint of rain. I shivered in the brisk wind. With his arm around my shoulder, Damian walked us to his car. I buried my face into him, starting to feel light-headed.

“What’s wrong, Kate?” he asked after helping me into the seat.

I closed my eyes. “Dizzy, that’s all. I’m fine.”

Feeling his hand pressed against my forehead, I moaned softly.

“You’re pale,” he said. “Here.” Damian lowered the back of the seat, and I felt him place something warm over me—his jacket.

I muttered something that was supposed to be “thank you.” Curling up on my side, the heaviness in my head took over,
and I fell asleep.