Love and History (7 page)

“Why the skirts?” he asked.

“You don’t like them?” She sucked his nipple.

He lifted her chin to look him in the eye. “Playtime is over. Just tell me.”

She relaxed and hugged him tight. “Strict Catholic school for twelve years. I rebelled and went to a non-religious college. But I was used to wearing skirts. Just like teaching. I loved school and got a scholarship. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I love literature so I kept getting degrees in that. It all worked out.”

“You’re a good teacher. You’ll get tenure.” He smiled at her.

“Thanks. I hope so. I found you. That’s a step in the right direction.” She kissed his arm and looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Oh, let me just check the DVR.”

“What for?”

She grabbed the remote and flipped screens. “Good. I’m recording this miniseries on the History channel. I can watch it later. I don’t want to miss it.”

“Leave it on. I wanted to see this, too.”

“Are you sure? I’d much rather go for round two with you.” She kissed him hard.

“We need a little break. I want to see you normal and relaxed before I push you to the edge again.” He bit her lower lip then slid his tongue in her mouth.

Moaning, she dropped the remote and pressed closer. Submitting to him was so good it almost scared her. Sliding her hands over his chest, she’d touch him as much as she could until he tied her up again. She didn’t want to act too much like a girlfriend, but that’s how she felt.

Chapter Five

A week and a day later, Scott sat at work and stared at his computer. He’d spent the night at Bridget’s that one Saturday, but not another time since. Being with her was too much like a relationship, and while it felt good, he couldn’t hurt her that way. Other Doms had tried to violate her limits. He wouldn’t break her heart so he’d left after the morning play. He hadn’t even stayed for breakfast. He felt like a jerk, but he hadn’t promised her anything yet.

The past week had been tense. They’d had two meet ups for sex that were amazing and were followed by watching that miniseries on the History Channel and pointless chitchat. Neither of them brought up anything about a relationship or dating. Nothing had changed except he wanted to be near her every second of the day.

Whatever they had was stalled because of him. Even sexually, he hadn’t pushed her beyond what they’d done nor had she disobeyed to make him get creative. Things were stalemated, but neither could give up the play.

He knew it was because she wanted a relationship.

Could she handle a Dom/sub relationship only? He hadn’t asked her that question yet, but it was the natural extension of things. Telling her his limits would ruin everything, and he couldn’t do that yet.

A knock on the door made him hope, but it was Nelson.

“Hi,” Scott said curtly.

“Hi? What? Did she dump you?” Nelson asked.

“No, not exactly, but things are in a lull.”

Nelson folded his arms. “Lull? You have to nudge her within the limits. Keep it interesting.”

“It’s not the sex. I think she wants a relationship.” Scott rubbed his temples.

“You don’t want a relationship with her?” Nelson shook his head. “She’s smart, attractive and into your kink. If I found my woman like that, I’d marry her now.”

Scott’s chest tightened. “It’s not that easy.”

“Dude, one sub left you for another Dom when you were young. I get that. It hurt. But that was years ago. Get over it. Tell her your past crap so she doesn’t think you’re a massive dick. Take it slow, but don’t let her get away.”

“I can’t. It’s not just that.”

Nelson folded his arms and shook his head.

“It’s not. I trust her. If I could give her what she wants, the proper boyfriend and Dom combo, she’d never leave me.” Admitting that almost scared him.

“Told you. I was matchmaker in a previous life. Master Yenta!”

Scott laughed. “You may be that good, but I’m not good enough for her.”

Nelson wagged a finger at his friend. “Lack of confidence in a Dom doesn’t work. Get that crap out of your head. It’s not hot, and it’s not healthy.”

“But the boyfriend can’t be an arrogant ass.” He’d never tried to combine romance with submission except that one sub who’d once been abused. All he’d wanted to do was make her safe, and she’d run off with a guy who would do darker things than her daddy had done to her. He shuddered at the memory of what she’s shared.

“Okay, so tell her you’re having trouble finding the line because you don’t normally do relationships and kink. Tell her so she doesn’t think you’re a jackass. Let her guide the dating thing while you rule in the bedroom. Even Steven.” Nelson nodded.

“I’m not sure I can cut the relationship thing.”

Nelson sighed. “Tell her that. If this is going to work, you don’t have to be the Dom all the time. That’s not what you signed on for. You get to buy the wrong peanut butter and forget her favorite wine. You get to be the boyfriend. In the bedroom, you’re in charge all the time. If she’s unable to handle that change, maybe she’s the problem?”

Deep down, Scott knew she wasn’t the problem, but he wasn’t going to talk about his family to Nelson. The only person who needed to know was Bridget, when the time was right.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.” He checked her online schedule. At least, she’d emailed that to him again this week. She had one early class and was free until a packed afternoon. “I should go see her. Don’t be a dick, right?”

“Right, that’s the spirit!” Nelson clapped his hands together. “I’ll get back to the computers. Have you seen the blog lately though? People are talking. It’s wonderful.”

“I’ll bet you’re leading things.” Scott smiled.

“Well, people need a little encouragement.” Nelson went one way down the hall, and Scott headed for the English Department.

A few moments later, he knocked on her door and waited for her response. Entering, he locked the door behind him. She looked so good he almost forgot what he was there for. A loosely knit purple sweater over a white blouse showed off her features well. Her hair was pulled up, and his hands itched to take it down.

“Good morning,” she said.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been neglecting you.”

She shook her head. “No, I had to grade papers all weekend. I’d let some things slide because of my paper. It’s not like we’re dating.”

The gloves were off!

“I was going to invite you out to dinner tonight.”

“With no notice? Sorry, I have plans with friends.”

She was just being difficult. “It wasn’t in your schedule.”

“You get the BSDM fetish group notices. It’s the monthly pizza meet up. I have friends there, and I’m not going to stand them up. You don’t dictate my life outside of bed.”

“I understand that. We’ve never discussed things beyond the kink. I didn’t realize you went every month. Why don’t you come by after the pizza dinner, and we’ll talk?” he suggested.

“I doubt we’d be talking at ten at night. Why don’t we have dinner at your place tomorrow night and talk it out?” Her blue eyes seemed icy today.

He couldn’t leave their discussion until tomorrow. “If this isn’t working for you, tell me now.”

She folded her arms and leaned back, rocking in her office chair. “The sex works. But I’ve shared stuff about myself, and you never tell me anything. There’s a little talk about history or your work but not a word about you, your family or your past.”

“Does it matter?” he asked.

“If you don’t want a girlfriend, tell me now so I can consider whether or not this is right for me,” she replied.

It was his chance. The out option he’d secretly hoped to have if things didn’t work. He could tell her this would only be a sexual relationship and a friendship. Still, he’d loved watching TV with her and had actually finished that damned book. The movie had annoyed him, but he’d made it through that, too.

“I think we both need to think about what we want and need from this then talk tomorrow.” He nodded. “Six work for you?”

“Fine. See you then.” She opened her laptop and dismissed him with her eyes.

* * * *

Bridget hadn’t lied to Scott, but when the time came, she couldn’t face her BSDM fetish group friends tonight. She emailed them and claimed tenure issues. Really, she just couldn’t go. Before, she’d been hoping to share the news that she’d found the right Dom. Maybe even drag him along.

She always got too eager, and when things went south, it frustrated her. This time it hurt worse, and nothing was decided yet. Before Scott, she’d been so down and negative about finding a Dom. Now, this felt real. She hadn’t expected it, and he shocked her. At the moment, she wanted to pretend it never happened and go back.

That wasn’t really true. She wanted Scott to love her. To be a boyfriend and a Dom. That just didn’t seem to be the direction he was headed.

In need of a reality check, she’d called her best friend of dinner. No BSDM fetish talk tonight, but last week, she’d admitted to Colleen that Bridget was sort of dating Scott.

Colleen sat across the table at their favorite Mexican restaurant. “What’s wrong? I thought you and Dr. Dull were having a good time?”

“I wish I’d never told you anything.” Bridget sipped a frozen margarita.

“Come on. I’m your best friend. He’s attractive. Good potential. What happened?” she asked.

Stabbing the slush in her drink, Bridget tried to boil it down without sharing the kinky secrets. “I’m not sure he’s looking for a serious relationship.”

“Him, a player? I don’t think so. He’s nothing but serious. So he asked you out and started seeing you for sex only? Oh Bridget, dump him.”

“It’s more complicated. We get along. I’ve shared stuff about my family and growing up, but he doesn’t say a peep. Like he was hatched from a pod or something. I’ve been to his apartment. I didn’t see pictures of anyone. Parents, siblings, nieces or nephews. Nothing.”

Their food arrived and both ladies kept quiet. Once the server was gone, Colleen shook her head. “Don’t sweat the pictures. He’s a single man. They’re not good at pictures unless someone gives it to them in a frame already. I’m sorry to tell you this, sweetie, but he sounds like a normal man so far—which is what you want. At least, you didn’t find out he’s gay, and you’re just some cover story. Men usually love to hear themselves talk but only about what they want to share. You’ve got to drag that other stuff out of them.”

“I’m not pushy that way.” Bridget took out her frustration on her food.

Colleen pointed her fork at Bridget. “You’re great at small talk. You can charm anyone at those fundraisers and mixers for the college.”

“That’s different.” Demanding stuff from her Dom felt wrong even if it was information she’d be entitled to if she were his girlfriend. Her limits in bed were clear, but Colleen was right. Most men loved to talk about themselves and what they wanted. This guy only wanted to play, but they understood each other. No relationship had ever moved this fast in bed or in her heart.

“If he doesn’t want you or a relationship, you deserve to know. You’re not afraid to be alone. Don’t be afraid to walk away because you’ve got a guy you like. If he doesn’t want you for you, you’ll be sorry in the end.”

Bridget chuckled. “You need to stop watching so much Dr. Phil.”

“I’m right,” Colleen said.

“I know, but it’s like there’s a wall. He wants me around but doesn’t want to share that much yet. It all happened so fast!”

“True, but when it’s right, you know. If you know how you feel, for sure, tell him.”

“Scare him away fast?” Bridget laughed.

“Scare him! Make him face stuff or lose you. Play on those ancient hunter instincts in men. They love to claim and conquer. That’s what sports is all about—or war. He’s into war, and if he’s smart, he’ll negotiate a treaty before you blitz him. He strikes me as the blunt type. Who won the war and who lost? I’ve heard he doesn’t give pluses or minuses. A grade is a grade.”

“A lot of professors do that.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure he’s even interested in me. Whenever I tried to talk about my paper for publication, he changed the subject. I don’t want to look weak.”

“You’re not weak. You’re not going to stand by and let him do things his way and string you along. Relationships take compromise. He has to negotiate, or you walk away from the table. Nudge him and see.” Colleen smiled. “I bet he caves, but make sure there’s nothing bad in his history before you get too serious. No jail time or anything. You never know these days.”

“He’s harmless, Colleen. Maybe something bad happened when he was a kid that made him afraid of a relationship?” Bridget hadn’t thought about that, and she should have. Her appetite returned, and she dug into her food. “Thanks. I needed this.”

“Now about your tenure. Word is good right now!”

Bridget’s mood picked up. She couldn’t change Scott’s history or what he might say, but she could give him her heart and safe space to share. If he refused, that was a problem.

Chapter Six

Honesty. Scott could do that. He simply didn’t know how to explain what he felt. She’d be there any moment and having the dinner
at his place was a calculated move by her. At first, he relished the home court advantage, but she’d made him cook for her.

Not one to take the easy way out, he’d avoided takeout and made pasta instead. As the oven dinged, so did the doorbell. He turned off the heat and headed for the door. Letting Bridget in, he saw her friendly yet determined expression.

“You look very nice,” he said.

She lifted an eyebrow and walked inside. “Thank you. Are you feeling more talkative today?”

He took her coat and noticed her black slacks. Was that a power move or just because there was some snow on the ground with a prediction for another six inches overnight?

The message was clear. The ball was in her court. She hadn’t dressed for him.

“Would you like something to drink?” he offered.

“Not right now.” She sat at the table, and her expression was impossible to read. For a moment, he understood what his subs had felt. He had no clue what was coming.