Love Exactly (12 page)

Waking up in Evan’s arms was always surreal; his scent, the feel of his skin against mine, but most of all, his voice. In the edges of my sleep I could feel him holding me, and when I began to hear him singing I swore I was still in a dream, but as his cologne drifted over me and as his fingers traced the bare skin of my arm in between the waves of my hair, I realized it was real. His voice was gentle as he sang a song I had never heard before. I tried to memorize the words along with the rise and fall of his chest beneath my body. A contented sigh managed to escape me even though I kept my eyes shut.

“Are you pretending to be asleep?” Evan asked, moving my hair away from my ear.

I nodded as I opened my eyes and looked up at him. The sun was streaming in between the sheer curtains in front of the French doors and washing his face in a pale yellow light. It intensified the hints of gold flecks in his eyes.

“I’m still dreaming aren’t I?” I replied.

He shook his head as he lifted my chin up and kissed me. “That’s what I keep asking myself.”

“You don’t sleep very much, do you?” I asked as I slid up in the bed and he put his head in my lap.

“I try not to when I’m here,” he answered as he closed his eyes.

I traced the tattoos on his chest and down his shoulders.

“Why is that?”

“I’m trying to suck every moment I have with you out of the day.” He looked up at me as he took my hands in his. He seemed to study the way our hands fit together and the shadow they cast over the bed against the back lighting of the sun. “It helps me to keep going until the next time I see you.”

“I thought you weren’t lonely on the road anymore?”

He bit the inside of his lip before answering, “Not exactly—I get to be with my best friends. The band and I have been through a lot together, but being with your best guy friends doesn’t really fulfill all of a guy’s needs.”

I raised an eyebrow and he kissed each of my fingers slowly. “Not all of them being sexual.”

“What other needs do I satisfy?” I asked, smirking at him.

He spun a piece of my hair that was hanging in his face. “I feel like I can tell you anything…and that I don’t have to—”

“That you just understand things when I feel like crap.”

He nodded.

“Guy’s take two routes; they leave you alone and let you wallow in it, or they tease the shit out of you until you give in.” He studied my face before he continued, “You must get lonely?”

I looked away and swallowed. “Because of my general lack of friends?”

“That’s not—”

I pushed away from him before standing with the sheet wrapped around me and going to the window. “It’s true, Evan. I know it.”

I could feel his eyes on my back as I moved the curtain and looked down at the ducks floating on the lake in a group. The swan floated at the edge of the water, beautiful and quite alone. I heard Evan finally stir and soon I felt his hands hovering over my shoulders before he placed them there and then let them slip down my arms and to my waist.

“It sucks. I was so stuck in how hurt I was and how they had only added to my pain…I just didn’t want to look back. I left everyone behind me. I told myself I didn’t need them; that I don’t need them but now…”

“The emptiness shows when I’m not here?”

I let my chin drop to my exposed chest. “I still have my parents…I’m never really alone.”

He kissed my shoulder before sighing. “Yet you feel it.”

I nodded.

“Just know when you’re feeling it so am I,” he reassured me.

“How did you handle it when you were younger?” I asked as I turned to face him standing in the boxer briefs he must have slipped on after getting out of bed.

“I found ‘love’ in all the wrong places—after a while that got old, especially when everyone found girlfriends and then most got married.”

“So the bad boy image…?” I asked as I let the sheet drop and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top from the floor.

“You’re asking about drugs, huh?” he guessed, following me into the kitchen.

I poured us both cups of coffee and looked over mine as I hesitated before asking, “So?”

“No,” he answered as he leaned up against the counter top. “Yoga helps a lot.”

“Yoga?” I choked on my coffee as I thought of him in spandex pants, contorted in a strange position.

He nodded and winked at me.

“Well,” I said, running my finger over the rim of the coffee cup, “that does explain some things.”

It was his turn to burst out in laughter and soon we were both gasping for breath.

“Maybe you can teach me something?” I teased as I put my coffee down and bent into a scorpion position.

He pulled me into his arms with his lips against my ear as he said, “Oh, you’re plenty flexible.”

“Knock, knock!” I suddenly heard someone standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

“Mom!” I yelped, pulling away from Evan and yanking at the hem of my booty short pajamas, glad I’d put some clothes on before getting our coffee.

I looked over at Evan who was searching the room for a t-shirt to no avail. He stood awkwardly, shirtless in just his tight briefs as my mom’s mouth dropped open.

“So this is the new boyfriend?” she gasped as she looked him up and down.

“Mom!” I repeated, going to stand in front of him.

“That’s—that’s,” Mom stuttered as she pointed between him and I.

“Evan Levesque—nice to meet you.” Evan stuck his hand out from behind me with a smug smirk.

“Holy crap!” Mom stared at his hand for a moment before her brain kicked in and she shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, Mrs. Walker.”

“Now I get the tattoo thing,” she muttered as she looked him up and down again.

“Mom,” I growled one more time as I pushed her out the door so she couldn’t see him anymore. “Stop staring!”

“Tattoos are nice,” she said to herself more than to me.

I looked over my shoulder to where Evan stood covering his smile with his hand, but his eyes still showed his amusement at the situation.

“Why didn’t you call or, you know, knock? What if we had been—”

Her eyes widened. “That…would’ve been interesting.”

“I’m going to change the locks if you don’t start calling first!” I threatened.

“Yeah…well, we just aren’t used to you having a boyfriend. Good thing for the sound proofing, eh?”

“Mom!” I squeaked out, but in my mind I was agreeing.

“So, the reason I came down—I made a big breakfast. There are pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage and scrambled eggs.”

Evan leaned his head out of the kitchen. “Did I hear bacon?”

Mom blinked twice and nodded as she answered, “Yes, and lots of other lovely things. Emma gets her cooking skills from me.”

“That sounds amazing,” Evan replied, his smile no longer hidden.

“He’ll put on some clothes first, right?” Mom whispered into my ear and my answer was a smack. “See you in a few minutes?”

I nodded and shooed her to the door leading up stairs and into their house. I closed the door behind her and leaned my head up against it.

“I’m so sorry.”

Evan laughed. “For what, exactly?”

“That…my mom intruding.”

“I was quite amused by your obvious embarrassment,” he answered as he put his hands on either side of my head and leaned down. “What I’m wondering is why she didn’t know about me?”

“My parents know I’m seeing someone—they just didn’t know it was you or how serious it is.”

His breath washed over my face as he leaned into me. “How serious is this exactly?”

“As serious as you want it to be…hopefully, we’re on the same page.”

He nodded before pulling away and heading to the bedroom. The lack of comment bugged me and from the look on his face when I glanced into the bedroom while he was pulling on his jeans he knew it. I watched him as he pulled on a plain black t-shirt and ran a hand through his hair. His face suddenly paled.

“Your dad—is he up there?” he asked as he started to frantically look for his sneakers.

“You can be barefoot, so stop looking for your hideous Converse,” I replied as I flopped down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

He crawled over me and narrowed his eyes. “You stole them?”

I shrugged.

“Seriously? Is your dad going to be up there?”

I shrugged again, enjoying his sense of panic. “He does live here.”

“I can’t go up there barefoot then!”

“He’s not going to be looking at your feet,” I commented as he stood and flicked some lint off his shirt before he grabbed his deodorant and layered it on.

“Are you okay?”

He stopped fidgeting and took a deep breath before looking down at me.

“This is your answer to how serious I am. I’ve never been so afraid of breakfast in my life,” he answered as he looked down at his lion tattoo that wrapped into a full sleeve. He closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. “Uh, how does your dad feel about tattoos?”

“My mom quite loves yours.” I couldn’t help but stifle the giggle.

“Seriously, what did he think when you came home with that?” He pointed towards my wrist as his face became more and more red.

I stood and took his face in both of my hands. “Evan, it’s okay. My dad will love you.”

“Dad’s don’t normally love bad boys, especially when their daughter suddenly comes home with a tattoo.”

 
“He doesn’t think tattoos make you a bad person—all he cares about is how happy you make me.”

“He thinks I make you happy?”

I tucked my head in his shoulder. “He knows you do.”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“What’s going to be awkward isn’t going to be my dad; it’s going to be my mom’s puddle of drool,” I said as I headed towards the door to the upstairs.

“Well, she has seen me half-naked,” he teased.

I turned as I opened the door and raised my eyebrows. “It’s not the first time.”

I watched as his skin flushed all the way from his collarbone up his neck and to his face.

I shrugged. “I’m sure my dad has too.”

“That’s cruel.”

I shrugged as I headed up the stairs with my back to him. “You’re the one who let them take those pictures and post them where everyone could see them.”

Before I knew it Evan had caught me up in his arms and was tickling me.

“That’s cruel!” I gasped through giggles as I struggled to get away from him up the stairs.

“Paybacks a—” Evan retorted but was cut off as we burst out the door into my parent’s kitchen, both of them stared at us tangled in one another arms with laugh tears rolling down our faces.

Evan dropped his hands and stepped away from me with a cough. Dad was suppressing a laugh as Mom piled bacon onto his plate.

“Take a seat,” Mom ordered with her spatula. “Alex, this is Evan, Evan this is Emma’s father, Alex.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Walker,” Evan said, holding his hand out.

Dad shook it with one pump. “It’s Alex—no need for the formalities.”

“Yes, and you can call me Leigh,” Mom clarified. Her mind had obviously cleared now that Evan was fully dressed and Dad was in the room.

“I really appreciate the offer for breakfast. It’s been a while since I sat down with family,” Evan said as he took a seat next to me.

I put my hand on his leg and squeezed with a smile.

“Help yourself,” Mom ordered as she took her seat across from me.

“So how long are you here for, Evan?” Dad asked through a mouth of pancakes.

Evan frowned as he put some bacon and eggs on his plate. “We were taking a break from touring to work on a single, and then decided we should worry about it after the European tour, so about three more days.”

“How long will you be gone?” Mom interrupted, eying me.

“About two months. It’s hard to be gone for so long, but once the overseas tour is done we’re going to take a break for a few months. We tried to record the single so we could get something out before we took the break, but it just didn’t work out.”

Evan studied my face from the corner of his eye as he answered. I swallowed my pancakes and reached for my coffee. Two months? He hadn’t told me that, but we usually went three weeks without seeing each other. It wouldn’t be that bad…maybe.

“That sounds good,” Mom commented with a weak smile as she watched me eating my food without response.

“I get to see a lot of places, which is great, but after a tour like this we’re all seriously wiped out and ready to get back to our families.”

“Paul, the bassist is married with two kids,” I interjected. I didn’t know why I had said it, as if to validate it was possible to have a relationship like ours.

“Yeah, actually, I’m the only one who isn’t married,” Evan clarified as he sipped his coffee.