Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (25 page)

Dal spun around and gazed at her with surprise. “Surely you don't mean that.”

She made a pretense of jotting more notes. “Berta believed in God.”

He lifted one brow. “Berta?”

“My last foster mom before I graduated from high school. She took me to church every Sunday. She insisted that I stay out of trouble and go to college. Even after I was an adult, she would still hunt me down to make sure I was living right.” She chuckled at the memories.

“She sounds like a great lady.”

Julie nodded. “She was.”

“Was?”

“She died a year after I graduated from college, but I was so glad she got to see that day. I owe her everything. If there is a God, then He sent Berta to me.” Her throat suddenly felt dry as sandpaper.

“Then you don't believe in God?” An edge of disbelief tinged his voice.

She shrugged. “God and I kind of just leave each other alone these days.”

“You used to love God. Before your folks died, you went to church with them every week.”

And sat in the back pew with Dal's arm looped around her shoulders. She'd been so content in those days. So calm and happy. Then tragedy had struck.

“Yeah, well, that was before Mom and Daddy died.” And that was all she was going to say about that.

“I know you've had some hard knocks in your life,” Dal said. “So have I. But God's been there with me every step of the way. Without Him, I don't think I would have survived the war. After I returned to the States, I wanted to die. God sent a special friend to me, just as He sent Berta to you.”

Listening to Dal speak, Julie could almost believe what he said was true. That God had been with her through her darkest days. “Cade was your special friend?”

“Yes, but he needed help, too. As a prisoner of war, he survived some pretty cruel torture. But after I lost my leg, he wouldn't let me quit, even when I begged him to let me die.”

She gave a sad little smile, realizing how much they both had in common. “Yes, that sounds like Berta. She never gave up on me, even when I screamed at her and made her life so difficult.”

Julie wanted to believe the Lord cared for her. That she wasn't alone in this big old world. But if that were true, why had God taken her parents from her? Surely God didn't need them more than she did. But then, God had sent her Berta. And Janice Baker, her old boss with the Forest Service. Janice had put Julie on a wildfire crew as a summer job. Later, the woman had mentored Julie as she'd made her way through college and built her career in the Forest Service. Janice and Berta had made a great difference in Julie's life.

Maybe it was now Julie's turn to give something back. To make a difference for a child in need.

“You said you're shorthanded in the kitchen for your evening meal shift,” she said.

He nodded, looking quizzical. “That's right.”

“I'd like to volunteer to help out a couple of nights each week, if that's all right.”

Oh, now she'd done it. She waited for a sick feeling to settle inside her stomach, a warning that she'd pushed herself beyond her comfort zone and would live to regret it. But that feeling didn't come. Not this time. She didn't want to retract her offer. In fact, she felt almost driven to help out at the amputee camp. Almost as though her future happiness depended on it.

* * *

Dal stared at Julie for several moments, considering her offer. After his conversation with Cade yesterday afternoon, he'd been ready to call and cancel this excursion up Gilway Trail with Julie. To forget the whole plan. But something had kept him from doing that. Something he couldn't explain. As if he just physically could not pick up the phone, dial her number and say the words.

Working on the horse trail was one thing, but letting Julie help out in the kitchen back at the ranch was another matter entirely. She'd be constantly underfoot, spending a lot more time working with him. He hadn't gone jogging with her that morning for a good reason. He needed to put some distance between himself and this woman. If she started working at the ranch, he'd be with her even more. And right now, Dal didn't know if he could take that. In fact, he was certain he couldn't.

“Not everyone likes working with amputee kids. They have special needs. It's a lot of hard work,” he said.

“I understand, and I think I'd like it.”

Great. Now what?

He blew out a breath. “How about if we try it for one week. If it's not working out after that time, no hard feelings. Agreed?”

There. He'd given both of them an out. A week would give him some extra time to find a replacement. Then he could thank Julie graciously and call it a day. She'd return to the Forest Service office in town, and he'd remain secluded back at the ranch. No more jogging together. No more quiet talks and gazing at her lovely profile. No more warmth and fuzziness between them.

No more danger to his heart.

“Agreed.” She flashed him a smile so bright it made his throat ache.

She whirled around and stepped toward the trailhead. “Now, back to work. This trail will be a Class Two, single-tread trail.”

She jotted more notes, and he wondered how she could act as though nothing had just happened. The thought of seeing her next Monday night flooded his entire being with nervous energy.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It's a minimally developed trail for pack and saddle. Used primarily for hiking and horses. That means we'll need a greater clearing width for switchbacks and turns, so your horses can pass and turn more easily.”

Good. That was just what he had in mind.

She looked up the mountain and clicked another picture. “I can see from this slope that jogging and bicycling would be practically impossible, but some people ride their mountain bikes anywhere.”

Dal didn't care about mountain bikes, as long as they didn't interfere with his kids on their horses.

“Let's ride up the mountain. I want to see the area you'd like to develop for the campsite.” Julie headed for their horses, a new lightness in her step.

Had agreeing to let her help out at the camp made her this happy? If so, he couldn't bring himself to put a damper on her generosity.

They stepped up on their horses, and Julie led the way toward the trail. The path was rather steep, and the horses grunted as they climbed higher. When they reached a wider area along the trail, Julie pulled up and peered out over the tops of ponderosa pine and Douglas fir. The mountainside looked like a carpet of green, sloping down to the valley below.

“It is so beautiful here,” she said.

He was gazing at her. “It sure is.”

She glanced at him, and he looked away before she could see the hunger in his eyes. The longing to tell her how he really felt about her. In all these long, lonely years, he'd never stopped believing that they had unfinished business between them. But now it was too late.

She pointed uphill. “We're gonna want to avoid steep grades where possible. Nothing over eight percent, except on the switchbacks.”

“Okay.” He barely heard her words. His ears felt clogged, as if he was submerged under water.

When she nudged her horse forward, he followed. As they rode, he tried to focus on her observations. Tried to shove his deep feelings into a remote corner of his heart and abandon them there.

She pointed at a barren switchback, rocky soil void of any vegetation. “This will be an erosion problem. A few rock and log barriers along the edges will prevent people from shortcutting across the path and keep the trail in good condition.”

He coughed to clear his voice. “You think we can get a bulldozer up this far to widen the trail?”

She shook her head. “No, we'll use hand tools to widen the path. Adding more switchbacks will do a lot to make the trail more comfortable.”

Hand tools would require a lot of backbreaking labor, but he trusted her judgment.

Higher up, the trail widened out and Julie pulled up again. “This might be an excellent place to install a bench and hitching rail. There's plenty of room for your kids to stop to rest and enjoy the view. We might even be able to build a step for them to use for remounting.”

Now why hadn't he thought of that? Her insight impressed him. “That'd be great. We sometimes have kids who tire quickly. Knowing there's a bench midway up the trail will give me a way to entice them to hang on a bit longer.”

When they reached the open area for the campsite, they both dismounted. Dal's horse danced away, and he stumbled. His left hand wrenched free of the saddle horn, and he fell backward on the uneven ground. As he hit the dirt, his breath was knocked from him in a giant whoosh. He gasped to fill his lungs with air.

“Dal! Are you okay?” Julie rushed to his side.

He sat up in stunned embarrassment. Julie was watching. He felt so clumsy. So foolish. “I— I'm fine. Really.”

“Let me help you.” She gripped his arm, but he shook her off.

His pride crumbled, and he locked his jaw. “I can do it by myself.”

His harsh words startled her and she stepped back, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

“I'm okay, Julie.” He tried to soften his rebuff, but hated the guarded look on her face.

He rolled over onto his good knee and reached for the stirrup to pull himself up, but the horse jigged away. Down on all fours, Dal's face flushed with heat. Embarrassment covered him from head to toe. He refused to look at Julie, wishing with every fiber of his being that she wasn't standing there witnessing him like this.

He tried to get traction on the uneven ground, but his good foot kept slipping in the loose soil. He'd be forced to crawl over to a tree in order to stand.

With Julie watching.

Out of his peripheral vision, he saw her reaching for the reins before she pulled his horse near. The stirrup dangled in front of his face and he latched on to it, pulling himself up. As he got back on his feet, he reached down to adjust his prosthesis. Luckily the socket hadn't come loose from his stump. The last thing he wanted was to ask Julie for privacy so he could pull his pants down and readjust the C-Leg. Right now, he felt exposed and vulnerable enough.

Unmanned.

“I just want to help, Dal,” she said.

He didn't look at her. “I know. I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“It's okay. Sometimes it's hard to accept someone else's help, even when we need it. I also have a lot of trouble admitting I'm not invincible and in control every minute of every day. When I fall down, I hope you'll help me up, too.”

He didn't smile.

“Do you always have trouble accepting help from others?” she asked.

“No, just you.”

She tilted her head to one side. “Why is that?”

Back on his feet, he gave her a slow grin. “You really need to ask?”

“Point taken. But I hope you'll get rid of such silly inhibitions. We used to be best friends, once.”

Yes, he was hyperaware of that fact, but decided to ignore the situation. Confessing that he needed this beautiful woman's help tweaked his pride. Because he loved her. Because he wanted to show her that he was a man. Strong and virile and in control. And he wasn't. Not really.

To change the topic, he pointed at the clearing surrounded by a stand of aspen. “We'd like to install six cabins up here with a large fire pit in the center for gatherings and roasting marshmallows. Is that possible?”

She blinked, as though it took her a few moments to mentally change the subject. Morning sunlight glinted off her long chestnut hair.

“We can build a fire pit, but no cabins. That's too permanent. We can construct tent pads, though. Each pad will be approximately ten feet by twelve feet. This campsite will follow a pack in, pack out policy. Anything you bring in, you must also take out. Nothing left behind.” She locked her gaze with his as she spoke.

Dal realized she meant what she said. The professional forest ranger was back, ready to follow regulations. “Yes, ma'am. Can we at least have a couple of outhouses?”

Again, she shook her head. “I'm afraid not. Pit toilets only.”

“Pit toilets?”

“Yep. We don't want to alter the nature of the outdoor experience any more than necessary. Each pit toilet will have a riser between seventeen and nineteen inches off the ground and a toilet seat, but that's it. You can construct tent walls around each toilet, to offer privacy. But the walls have to be removed each time you leave the campsite.”

He gave a shrill whistle. “Wow. I hadn't planned on that. You really want us to rough it, huh?”

“Call it camp setup. When you first arrive, get your kids to help with the work. Give them assignments and attach groups of them to a leader. Setting up should be part of the camping process. You want an outdoor experience for them, and I don't want to damage this natural setting. Win-win for both sides.”

He chuckled. “Win-win? I'm not so sure I agree with that.”

Her expression softened. “It'll be great for the self-esteem of your kids. Not a lot of coddling will make them earn their experience out here in the mountains. And when they get home, they'll talk about it for years to come. Use the buddy system. Have the kids help each other. They'll build relationships to last a lifetime.”

Her understanding of what he and Cade wanted to accomplish for the kids surpassed even Dal's expectations. Here he was, wishing he could have a comfy cabin and outhouse to use, and she was giving him ideas on how to get the kids to work together. To grow and learn. To become stronger individuals, in spite of their amputations. When Dal considered her suggestions, he couldn't help feeling impressed by her acumen.

“You've become an amazing woman, Julie Granger.” The words poured out of his mouth before he could call them back.

“Back at you. You're the most remarkable man I've ever met.”