Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (29 page)

“You sure did.” Julie clapped her hands together while Dal chuckled.

“Very well done, Marcus,” Dal praised. “You brushed and saddled your own horse. I can see that Banjo trusts you by the way he's calmly waiting for your commands. You've done a good job today and have earned a fun ride.”

A look of pure bliss settled across Marcus's face. He absorbed Dal's compliments like dry sand soaking up sunshine.

“Come on, Banjo. Let's go.” Marcus flicked the reins, but the horse didn't budge.

“Tell him to ‘walk on.' You'll need to tap your heels gently against Banjo's sides, the way I taught you,” Dal said. “Not too hard, but hard enough to get his attention. Remember to treat your horse with kindness, and he'll always trust you. If you treat him with cruelty, you'll never have good luck with him. Horses are just like people. They respond to kindness.” Dal took hold of the halter lead and nodded at Julie.

She pushed the step stool out of the way and took up her position on the left side of the horse, while Grant stood on the right side.

“Walk on.” Marcus tapped his heels against Banjo's flanks and the horse walked forward, nice and slow.

With Dal leading the gelding, they moved out into the corral. A bit of nervous energy flickered in Marcus's eyes, but he soon became comfortable, rocking gently with the gait of the horse.

“Your seat is very good. Great conformation,” Julie praised the boy. “You sure don't need much help. You can do it all by yourself.”

“Yeah, I'm a good rider,” Marcus said. A smile widened his face as he gave himself over completely to the horse.

For half an hour, they walked and trotted the horse. And Julie laughed and praised each and every one of Marcus's accomplishments.

On their way back to the stable, Dal reached down and plucked a yellow plume of goldenrod growing among the tall grass at the base of the fence. He promptly handed it to Julie.

Her eyes met his and, though he didn't say a word, his gaze spoke volumes. The gesture caused her heart to beat faster and her head to spin.

* * *

The moment he gave Julie the flower, Dal regretted it. It had been an automatic gesture. He'd seen a flower and given it to a beautiful girl.

His beautiful girl.

Except she wasn't. His anyway. Not anymore.

Looking away, he tried to focus on Marcus and the horse. After Dal helped Marcus step off the horse, Grant led the gelding back inside the stable where Marcus more willingly assisted in unsaddling his mount.

“I wish I could ride a little longer,” Marcus said.

Not a demand. No pouting. Just a quick comment as the boy slid the blanket off Banjo's back. Yes, they had definitely made a lot of headway with the child. And Dal was abundantly grateful that he'd gotten to share today's accomplishment with Julie.

“Don't worry. You'll get to ride again tomorrow morning,” Dal said.

“Yes!” The boy fisted his hand in the air and gave a happy little hop.

The next student hobbled into the stable, accompanied by another staff member. An eleven-year-old boy with a double above-the-knee amputation, he used a walker to support his shuffling limp.

“Hi, Tony. I'll be right with you.” Dal spoke over his shoulder to the boy.

“How was your ride?” Tony asked Marcus, a tone of wary eagerness in his voice.

“Great! You're gonna love it. It's so easy, and Banjo is a great horse,” Marcus replied.

Dal's mouth dropped open, and he couldn't help staring. This was the first time he'd heard Marcus speak civilly to one of the other kids. It reaffirmed the therapeutic value of having the kids interact with and ride the horses.

Julie mirrored his surprise, looking between him and the children. Then she closed her mouth and smiled. “Well, I'd better get going. My office manager will wonder what happened to me.”

She looked at Dal. “Do you have someone else to work as a side walker without me here?”

“Yes, we'll be fine.” He said the words, but he didn't mean them. Not really. He couldn't help wishing that she could stay. But maybe it was better if she left. No matter how hard he tried not to, he'd become overly attached to the pretty forest ranger. And he couldn't help feeling grateful that she'd taken time out of her busy schedule to come here and work with him.

“Goodbye.” She gave Marcus another quick squeeze, and he actually hugged her back.

“Do you have to go?” the boy said.

“I'm afraid so. But I'll be back to help serve dinner tomorrow night.”

A pleased smile lit up the child's face. “Okay. See you then.”

He turned to Tony and started a detailed dialogue on how to groom Banjo and cinch up the saddle.

With a small laugh, Julie waved at Dal. His gaze focused on the soft smile curving her pretty mouth.

He lifted a hand in farewell and watched the graceful swing of her hips as she headed for the doors. Not until Tony tugged on his sleeve did he realize he was staring at empty space. With a gargantuan effort, Dal focused on the boy and vowed to forget about Julie. At least for the next few minutes.

“Okay, Tony. Let's ride a horse.”

Chapter Ten

L
ate Saturday afternoon, Julie lifted the lid of the washing machine and coiled her bed sheets around the drum. Turning the knob, she set the cycle. The rush of water began to fill the machine as she measured out the detergent. A little bit of color-safe bleach, some fabric softener and then she'd finish washing her dishes. She should have just enough time to go into town to buy groceries to fill her empty refrigerator. Then she could relax and watch the evening news. Maybe she'd pick up a take-and-bake pizza for dinner.

The phone rang, and she closed the lid of the washer before answering.

“Hello.”

“Julie?”

“Hi, Cade! What's up?” She recognized the doctor's voice immediately, wondering why he would call her on the weekend. They didn't have another batch of kids coming in until Monday morning, and she wasn't scheduled to work until that night.

“Can you come over to the ranch, please?”

She hesitated. “Sure, when?”

“Right now.”

She glanced down at her knee-length shorts and bare feet, then at the kitchen clock. Four forty-five in the afternoon. Good thing she hadn't run to the store yet. Groceries and pizza would have to wait.

“Um, okay. What's up?”

He took a deep breath, and she heard the restlessness in his tone. “It's Dal. He needs you. Badly.”

“Dal? What's wrong?”

And why hadn't Dal called?

“He received a letter today. Some very bad news. He's kept to himself all day and seems inconsolable.”

“A letter from whom?”

“An old friend. He won't confide in me about it. He's been locked away in his cabin all day. He hasn't come out even to eat, and he won't let me come in, either. I haven't seen him like this since...since he lost his leg in the war. I'm worried about him, Julie.”

Yeah, she was, too. This wasn't like Dal. Not at all.

“But why call me?” she asked.

“I think you can help. You have a calming influence on him.”

She did? That was an interesting observation. She doubted that going over to his place and asking him personal questions about a letter he'd received would help.

“I don't think this is a good idea, Cade. Can't you talk to him?”

“I've tried. So has Lyn. He's shut us both out. But he can never refuse you. I think he'll let you in.”

His words impacted her like hitting a wall of cement.
Dal could never refuse her.
She sensed that was true, though she'd never put it to the test. Not really.

She didn't know what to say. Her promise to never abandon Dal again came back to haunt her. He needed her, and she had to go to him. It was that simple.

“I'll be there in twenty minutes.” She hung up the handset and made a mad dash for her tennis shoes. The dishes in the kitchen sink, the clean laundry waiting to be folded, the evening news would all have to wait.

Exactly fourteen minutes later, she pulled up in front of Sunrise Ranch. With a quick twist of her wrist, she parked her car, killed the ignition and pushed the door wide-open as she got out.

Cade and Lyn came out onto the white wraparound porch to greet her. Lyn stood beside the swing, holding little Clarisse while Cade pounded down the steps. From their morose expressions, Julie could tell they were very upset.

“Thanks for coming. I didn't know who else to call.” Cade spoke in a rush.

Since he was a medical doctor, Julie figured he truly was at wit's end. But what news could have caused Dal this much angst?

Marcus bolted outside and would have run down the porch, but Lyn caught his arm and pulled him back.

“But I want to go with Cade. I want to go see Dal,” the boy cried.

“Not right now, buddy. But you'll see him just as soon as possible. I promise,” Julie reassured the child.

Marcus sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. For once, he didn't fight them, seeming to understand the gravity of the situation. And that was when Julie realized Marcus had become truly attached to Dal.

Cade directed Julie to the back of the complex, toward the staff cabins. They walked side by side, with Julie lengthening her stride to keep up. Past the gazebo, the fire pit and the volleyball court. Through the tall cottonwoods outlining the perimeter of the ranch.

“Where is he?” In all this time, she'd never been to the staff cabins. Never seen where Dal lived and spent his time when he wasn't working with the horses and kids.

Cade pointed at the largest cabin on the farthest end. Big enough for a private room and bath, but little more. Not a real house. Not a place anyone would want to live long term. Poor Dal had lived here for several years now.

Not much of a home.

“He's said nothing to you about the letter he received?” she asked.

Cade gave a solemn shake of his head. “Just that it was from a friend with some very sad news.”

“Has he... Has he been yelling or throwing things inside his cabin?”

“No, Dal's never been a violent man. He hasn't said a word.”

A dark foreboding blanketed her heart. Dal had no family anymore. So what news could be bad enough that he'd sequester himself away like this? “Are you sure he's okay?”

The thought of Dal needing medical attention tore her heart to shreds, and she picked up her pace.

“Physically, he's fine,” Cade said. “I've kept an eye on him all day. I peer inside his window from time to time.”

She blinked. “You mean he's just sitting in there? All day long, by himself?”

“Yeah, he hasn't moved since nine o'clock this morning when I brought him the mail. He didn't even go check on the horses. I fed them myself. That's never happened before. He always checks on the animals, no matter what.”

Oh, dear. What had happened? When she faced the prospect of questioning Dal, she lost all her courage. An urge to run overwhelmed her, but she resisted with an iron will. Dal needed her. “I can't do this, Cade. You're the doctor, not me.”

“Just speak to him,” Cade said. “Please. He doesn't want me.”

He gazed at her with pleading in his eyes. As she approached the door, Julie had no idea what to expect. No idea what was wrong. No idea how she could help.

She glanced over her shoulder, feeling a little frightened and unsure, drawing reassurance from Cade's presence. He stood beneath the canopy of cottonwoods, his hands in his pockets, a tight smile of encouragement on his lips.

Looking down, Julie noticed a large clay pot of bright pink petunias outside Dal's isolated cabin. How lovely and simple. A mask for the anguish that lay on the other side of the door.

She knocked and waited.

Nothing. No response.

She knocked again, harder this time. Leaning her face close to the rough wood panel, she spoke gently, but loud enough for Dal to hear. “Dal? It's Julie. Can I come in, please? I really need to speak with you.”

The silence lengthened. Then a shuffling sound came from inside, followed by the click of the lock, and the door opened just a crack. Through the slit, Julie saw Dal step aside and drop back onto a worn recliner. Determined not to fail, Julie gripped the doorknob and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

In the dim interior, Dal sat forward in his chair. He rested his elbows on his knees, his hands cupping his face as his fingers threaded through his short hair.

The two-room cabin looked meticulously tidy, with a desk along one wall, a twin-size bed on the other, a love seat and small TV on a table near the entrance. Dark curtains hung across the two windows to keep the sun out. A cloying sadness filled the entire room with gloom.

A shudder swept Dal's body. Julie went to him, going down on her haunches beside him as she rested one hand on his arm. She gazed up at his face, trying to get him to focus on her. “Dal, are you okay?”

He took a tremulous breath, his eyes centered on the coffee table in front of him, his shoulders tensed. The shattered look in his eyes spoke volumes. And that was when Julie saw the letter. Just lying there, the top seam torn open.

Confusion raced through her mind. She changed position, sitting on the table facing him, her head level with his, mere inches away.

“Dal, what's happened? What's wrong?” she tried again.

He sat back and shook his head, refusing to look at her. Grief emanated from every pore of his body. His eyes looked cold and empty.

Defeated.

“I want to help,” she said. “I'm not leaving until I get some answers, so you might as well tell me what's going on.”

He met her gaze, openly assessing her. “You shouldn't have come here. Did Cade call you?”

His words came out in a hoarse croak, as though he'd been crying or screaming. Maybe both.

“Yes, we're all worried about you. What's happened?”

He blinked his eyes with misery. His hand visibly shook as he pointed at the envelope, but he didn't speak.

The envelope crinkled as she picked it up and noted the return address—a Doris Hadley in Texas. “May I read it?”

At his subtle nod, she opened the letter and scanned the pages. The words poured into her mind. Her head buzzed, and her stomach clenched. Halfway through, a gasp tore from her throat and she pressed trembling fingers to her lips. By the time she finished, she was heartsick. Now she knew what was troubling Dal. And she realized he had every reason to be upset.

In slow movements, she tucked the letter back inside its envelope and placed it on the table. Her mind raced as she thought about what she should say. For the first time in a long time, she prayed for help.

Reaching out, she rested her hands on Dal's knees, willing him to meet her gaze. He did, his features harsh.

“Quinn Hadley was a friend of yours?”

Dal nodded.

“A good friend?”

Another nod.

“And Doris is his mother?”

“Yes.” An emotional croak.

“Were you in the war with Quinn?”

“No. We met at the veterans' hospital, after...after we both lost our legs.”

“Ah, I see. Quinn was an amputee, too?”

“Yes, he lost his leg up to the hip and also his right forearm. His wife divorced him six months ago. She couldn't accept him anymore. She got tired of being with him, and it broke his heart.”

Julie clenched her eyes closed, fighting off the pain his words caused her. Fighting to find the right words to ease his anguish.

“I...I thought he was doing so much better,” Dal said. “He'd moved in with his mom. But then he stopped writing. I hadn't heard from him in eight weeks. I don't have a computer out here, so we didn't send email. We both kind of liked using the U.S. Mail instead. No one answered the phone when I tried to call him last week. I figured maybe they'd gone on vacation. Then I got the letter from Doris today.”

“I'm so sorry, Dal. So very sorry.”

Dal choked out a harsh laugh. “Quinn always had more courage than me. He finally did what I didn't have the guts to do so long ago.”

Julie released a shuddering breath. “No, you're wrong, Dal. You're the most courageous man I know. It takes a lot of guts to keep on living after what you've been through. Living and working every day. Serving others the way you do. Never giving up. That's real courage.”

“Well, Quinn is home now. He's free,” Dal said. “But I don't know if I should rejoice for him or cry for him.”

Tears burned the backs of Julie's eyes. But Dal didn't cry, and she thought it might help if he did.

Suicide. A ghastly option for people who had given up all hope. Quinn had taken his own life. Something Julie had once thought of doing herself, before her social worker had pulled her out of a horrible foster home and sent her to live with Berta Alvey. In retrospect, Julie was so grateful she'd chosen to keep living. But her heart ached for those people who chose not to keep going.

“And what about you?” she asked.

He licked his lips. “What do you mean?”

She inclined her head toward the letter. “Would you ever take your own life?”

She held her breath, fearing the worst. Fearing she might have to get Cade in here with a straitjacket to haul Dal off to a mental hospital. No matter what, she was not leaving Dal alone until she was certain he was okay.

He snorted. “I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought about it back when I first lost my leg. But that was a long, long time ago, Julie.”

Her throat tightened and her face grew hot. “And what about now?”

His gaze locked with hers. In his eyes, she saw complete conviction.

“No. I feel terrible about Quinn taking his own life, but that's not for me.” He reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand, looking deep into her eyes. “Were you afraid for me?”

She nodded.

He gave her a comforting smile. “No need, sweetheart. I'm fine. I'm not done living yet. I'm just mourning the death of a good friend.”

“I'm glad to hear that.”

He sat back and gazed at the letter. “I was in shock, finding out the way I did. This hit a little too close to home. I needed to take the day to grieve. I'm not sure why, but I know God hasn't abandoned me. He never did, even at my darkest moment. I can't see it yet, but I believe the Lord has my life all figured out, if I can just have faith and endure to the end.”

A breath of relief rushed past her lips, and she smiled. “I think maybe you've been alone too long today. It's time to move on now.”

“Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry I frightened you.” He reached out and brushed his fingertips against her arm. A soft gesture that sent warmth radiating throughout her entire body.

“I'm just glad you're okay,” she said.

“Me, too. And I'm starving.”

She laughed. “I'm so glad to hear that.”

But now she had an even greater problem on her hands. She never should have started working at Sunrise Ranch. Never should have gone jogging with Dal or ever seen him again. Never should have agreed to come out to the ranch today. Because now, whether she liked it or not, she was irrevocably in love with Dal. And that scared her most of all.