Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (11 page)

“Okay,” she whispered, and snuggled back into the blanket.

“Uh-uh, you have to go to bed.”

She looked up at him. “You're right.”

“Come on, let's go.” He held out a hand and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet.

He led her down the hall to her room. His room. The room they had once shared. When they'd been married. Oh, wait, they were still married. She started to remind him of that but thought it might be a bad idea.

“Lindsey needs to eat and take her meds,” Jana whispered as she crawled into bed, the blankets already pulled back.

“I think I can handle that.” Blake spoke from the doorway. “I'll bring you another glass of water. If you need anything, I'm just in the other room.”

Need. She started to open her mouth and tell him she needed him to hold her again. She needed to find a way to make him love her again. If he'd just forgive her.

But she didn't say any of those things.

“Go to sleep, Jana.” His voice sounded faraway.

“Blake?”

He stepped back into the room. She saw his dark form standing with the light of the hall behind him. “Yes?”

“Thank you for staying.”

“You're welcome.”

The door closed, and she was alone in the dark room. Alone with her thoughts. And those thoughts were more dangerous than ever before.

Later, when the fever broke, she would face reality. Blake Cooper had forgiven her. He could be kind to her. But he didn't love her. And this mistake with the divorce didn't mean that they would stay married, that they would raise Lindsey together.

Jana would be thirty-five soon. She was no longer a young girl, or even a young woman who allowed herself to get caught up in romantic fantasy. Her life was about harsh reality. Her husband still wanted a divorce and her daughter would still face challenges.

The medicine he'd given her must have been working because she was starting to feel better. And it made her heart ache worse than anything else.

Chapter Eleven

B
lake woke up in a new world Friday morning. He rolled over on the couch, and Lindsey was looking down at him. The ache in his lower back reminded him he was too old and had been thrown from too many horses to sleep on a couch. He stretched and smiled at his daughter.

“It's about time.” She grinned and plopped down in the nearby rocking chair.

“What time is it?”

“Six.”

He groaned and raised his arm to look at his watch. “Why are you up so early?”

“We have chores. Right? Isn't that what farm people do?”

He noticed she was dressed in jeans, a T-shirt and boots. Somewhere she'd found a cowboy hat that fit. Barely. It was white straw and slipped down over her forehead a little too far, making her face seem even smaller.

“Yes,” he managed with a smile, “we have chores.”

“So get up. I had cereal for breakfast. Mom is still sleeping.”

“You need to stay out of her room.” Blake sat up, running a hand through his hair and then across his cheek. He had clothes here but nothing to shave with.

“I didn't go in...I peeked. Anyway, I've already been around her,” his daughter stated with a matter-of-fact tone that he normally wouldn't have argued with.

“Right, but we're not taking any chances.”

A car pulled up the drive. His brother, Dr. Jesse Cooper, bright and early as usual. Another groan as Blake stood, found his socks and boots and headed for the front door.

“Do you always creak when you walk?”

He shot his daughter a look. “Not usually.”

“There's another bedroom.”

“I know. I fell asleep reading.”

“Oh. Do you want me to make coffee?”

He opened the door for Jesse, but his daughter's previous statement caught his attention. “You make coffee?”

“I'm almost thirteen. I used to drink coffee.” She said it with a little bit of a sad voice. “You know, you're not supposed to drink a lot of coffee, either.”

“I promise I won't. I have a single-serve coffeemaker, and I think I also have herbal tea and hot cocoa you can make with it.”

Her smile returned. “Thanks. I'll go turn it on.”

Jesse had made it to the front door while Blake had been talking to his daughter. Obviously Jesse had been up for a while, too. He was dressed for a day at the hospital and he'd shaved. Blake felt more than a little scruffy.

“Are you the patient?” Jesse grinned as he walked through the front door.

“No, but I feel like one.”

“I'll check you over before I leave, just to make sure you don't have what Jana has. There's a virus going around, so I don't think she'll be sick for more than a few days.”

“What about Lindsey?” Blake walked with his brother through the house.

“Hopefully she doesn't get it. But she is going to get sick, Blake. Maybe not this time, but eventually. Over time, her body will get stronger and be able to fight it better.”

Blake heard a crash from the kitchen and an “Uh-oh.”

Jesse laughed. “That doesn't sound good.”

“No, it doesn't. She was going to turn on the coffeemaker.”

“Well, coffee isn't the best thing for you, anyway.”

In answer Blake shot Jesse a dirty look.

They walked into the kitchen, and Lindsey looked up from the mess she was sweeping up. “I dropped a cup.”

“It sounded worse.” Blake looked around the kitchen. He surveyed the dark-haired minx that was his daughter. Man, he really loved her. “Did you cut yourself?”

“No, and if I did, it wouldn't hurt the kidney.” She frowned and went back to sweeping.

“Linds, not everything is about the kidney. I wanted to make sure you're okay.”

Tears hovered in her hazel eyes, and she managed a watery smile. “I know. I just don't want everything in my life to be about kidneys.”

“I'm afraid you're going to have to give that some time,” Jesse offered. “Eventually things will settle down. Rejection will be less of a risk. But, Lindsey, this is always going to be your life. You're going to have to live a different life than most people. You're going to be on medication. You're going to have to take precautions.”

“Yeah, I know.” She dumped the broken pieces from the dustpan into the trash. “So, I guess you'd better make sure my mom is okay.”

Jesse nodded and left the kitchen, leaving Blake with his daughter.

“I'm having herbal tea.” Blake put the plastic pod in the coffeemaker. “How about you?”

She smiled a little and hopped up on the bar stool at the counter. “If you are, I am.”

He made two cups of tea and then he picked one that he thought would be good for his sick wife. Ex-wife. He shook his head as he set the cup under the spout. Man, life was about as complicated as it could get. Two days ago she'd been his ex-wife. Today she was still his wife.

“Why are you frowning at the coffeemaker?” Lindsey asked as she poured sugar in her tea.

“Just thinking that I'd rather have coffee, but I'm following your very good example.”

Again she smiled. “Do you think we should make Mom chicken soup? It's supposed to be healthy.”

“I think we could manage. Later, after those chores you insist we need to do.”

Jesse returned a few minutes later. He washed his hands at the sink and dried them on a paper towel. “From her symptoms I think it's the virus everyone is catching. But it's still good if Lindsey keeps her distance until Jana is fever-free for twenty-four hours.”

For a few minutes they talked, and Blake thought he was in the clear. Until Jesse pulled a thermometer out of his bag.

“Let me look at your throat and check your temp. I'm going to check Lindsey's, too.” Jesse came after him with a stick that he insisted on gagging him with.

“Are you trying to choke me?” Blake managed, after the stick was removed from his throat. Lindsey was laughing and he gave her a warning look. “Don't laugh too loud, I think you're next.”

“It isn't in your throat, Dad. It's just a tongue depressor.”

Jesse chuckled. “She has you there.”

“Of course she does. I've learned I'm almost never right anymore.”

“Welcome to my world,” Jesse said in a dry tone, but with a big smile, because he was married now and had a young stepdaughter.

“How's Laura doing?”

“Pregnant and hungry.”

Blake started to say that he remembered what that was like, but the words and the memories were too much. Jesse went on, checking Lindsey, and then he made himself a cup of coffee.

“The two of you are good to go. But if you do start to feel sick, let me know.” Jesse stood at the counter watching them. “Everything else is okay?”

“Of course it is.”

Lindsey shrugged a little. “We're going out to do chores in a few minutes and then we're going to make chicken soup for my mom.”

“I would recommend you call Vera and have her make the chicken soup.”

Blake took offense at that. “I can cook.”

“Burgers on the grill, chicken on the grill, vegetables on the grill.” Jesse winked at Lindsey. “Do we see a pattern?”

“Don't you have a job to go to?” Blake asked as he finished his tea and set the cup in the sink. He knew he had a job to go to. And most likely the best plan was to work from home again. Jesse stood, and Blake walked with him to the front door.

“Keep an eye on Jana,” Jesse said as they walked out the door.

“An eye on her? I thought she was okay, just a virus.”

“I'm talking about depression, Blake. I think she's fine, but since she has dealt with this in the past...” Jesse shrugged. “This has been a rough situation for her. If you start to notice symptoms of depression, you need to make sure she sees a doctor.”

Of course. He'd shared with his mother. She'd shared with Jesse. He doubted she would spread it too far, but she would have thought Jesse needed to know.

His mind raced back to symptoms he should have noticed all of those years ago. He should have noticed that she stopped cleaning. She stopped caring how she looked. He thought it was about him, about their relationship or about her being homesick for England.

“Don't be so hard on yourself,” Jesse offered. “Or on her.”

“I take it you've heard the news.”

They were at Jesse's car. “About the divorce. Yes, I heard.”

“I never expected this.”

“No, I guess you didn't. You'll figure out what to do.”

Yeah, he guessed he would. But it wouldn't be easy. None of this was easy, and to complicate things, he knew he had a daughter praying for her family to be whole. She wasn't wishing on shooting stars; she was holding on to faith. The faith of a child.

And Blake knew that a child's faith could move mountains.

* * *

Jana awoke to the smell of something wonderful cooking. The aroma drifted under the closed door. So did the sounds of Blake's voice, low and rumbling, and Lindsey's higher-pitched laughing. Jana didn't move. She wanted to bask in the sounds of her daughter's happiness.

It had been the right thing, to bring her back. She should have brought her back years ago. No, she shouldn't have left in the first place.

The door opened. It was late afternoon and the sun streamed in the window. Blake peeked around the corner of the door and then he stepped inside, carrying a tray. Lindsey stood in the hall behind him, waving. Jana blew her daughter a kiss.

“We made chicken soup,” Lindsey called out from the hall.

Blake shook his head as he set the tray on the table next to the bed. “She's impossible and full of energy today.”

“She shouldn't get...”

Blake held up a hand. “She took a long nap. Don't worry...I'm taking care of her.”

“I know you are.” But it had been so long since someone else had taken care of her daughter. Jana corrected herself. Their daughter. Lindsey was their daughter. Of course Blake could take care of her.

“Are you hungry?” Blake put a spoon in the bowl.

“Starving. The toast at lunch seemed like plenty, but now I'm hungry.”

“You're getting better. Jesse said it was just a two-or three-day virus.”

“I'm so glad. I don't want to miss the rodeo.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Really.”

He didn't push it. Instead he moved the tray and situated it over her lap. She tried to push back memories but she couldn't. Blake had always been this way. After she'd had Lindsey, he'd cooked for her. He'd cleaned house. He'd taken his turn with late-night feedings.

He hadn't noticed her slipping away, though. Maybe he'd thought she would get better. Maybe he'd thought she just needed time.

“Stop.”

She looked up, unsure. “What?”

He took a seat in the nearby chair and twisted the blinds to close them against the sun. “You're thinking about the past. I don't know if you're thinking about what we could have done differently, or if you're remembering why you left.”

“I'm thinking about how hard you tried to make me happy.”

He stood up, moving toward the door. “It didn't work, did it?”

“Blake, don't walk out.”

He turned, not smiling. “I'm not.”

“You couldn't fix what was happening to me, not on your own.”

“I guess I know that.” He looked out the door for their daughter.

Jana could hear Lindsey in the living room. She must have turned the television to country music videos, and she was singing. She probably didn't expect a dramatic scene between her parents. If she had, she wouldn't have left.

“Sit down and keep me company?” She motioned to the chair he'd vacated. “I could share my soup.”

“Lindsey and I ate an early dinner.”

“Soup?”

He laughed at that. “Afraid not. Chicken on the grill. She insisted a sick person needs chicken soup, so we made soup for you.”

Together, the two of them in the kitchen. Jana could picture them tossing ingredients in without measuring, laughing, sharing. A little envy washed over her.

“It's really good.” She took another spoonful of the soup. “You were always a decent cook.”

“Decent?” He smiled as he said it.

“More than decent.” She finished the bowl while he sat in the chair, looking more at the wall than at her.

“Are you still cool?” He stood, placing his hand on her forehead.

“Well?” she whispered when he stepped away.

“Still cool. Do you want coffee or iced tea? I brought you a glass of water, but you might want more than that.”

She shook her head. The thing she wanted most was to get up and leave this room. And she wanted him to realize she had never stopped loving him. Maybe if she told him?

But how would that sound? If she told him she left and didn't come back for ten years, but she always loved him? Would he ever believe that?

Maybe he would, but it would just be baggage between them as they proceeded with their divorce.

“Lindsey brushed the pony today,” he told her as they sat in the quiet room.

“She's safe doing that, right?”

“I won't let her do anything that might get her hurt.”

“Of course you won't.”

“She had a good time. She has to have normal moments, Jana. Everything else in her life seems mixed-up and confusing.”

Jana thought about the crazy mixed-up life she had created for her daughter. “You're right. But being here, Blake, this is good for her. Your family is good for her.”

“No regrets?” he asked, and she wondered where the question came from and if it meant more.

“None.” Except maybe treading into this territory of emotion and their lives. “Do you think Teddy could go to the rodeo with us? I don't want him to think we've abandoned him.”