Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (12 page)

“I'm sure he could. Mom called this afternoon. Things aren't good.”

She sat up a little more. “What happened?”

“Lisa walked out of the hospital. They're looking for her, but so far...” He shrugged.

“I hate hearing that. If we'd left her alone...”

“What? She wouldn't have gotten better on her own.”

“I know.” She reached for the water he'd left on the table. “So what happens now?”

“I guess they stay with my folks for a while until a permanent placement is found. And until we can find Lisa and get her help.”

“I need to get in touch with Family Services. I really want Teddy and Lisa, Blake.” She sighed as the words slipped out. “I'm sorry. This isn't my house.”

Blake laced his fingers together on his lap and closed his eyes. “I'm not sure what to do anymore.”

That was how he left things. Then he told her he had to move some hay they'd just baled. Lindsey would be in the house if she needed anything.

He walked out, closing the door behind him, leaving her to pray about her life here in Dawson, her marriage and now two little children who sadly needed someone to care for them until their mother was able.

Chapter Twelve

T
he lights of the rodeo blazed bright around the arena. Blake stood next to the horse Jackson's daughter, Jade, planned to barrel race. The girl had her blond hair back in a ponytail and a white cowboy hat shoved down on her head. She looked as if she'd been on the ranch her whole life. But it had really only been a couple of years.

She moved her leg and he tightened the cinch on the saddle and made sure her stirrups were right for her legs. “You got this, Jade?”

She nodded, moving in the saddle, settling in. “I've got it. I'm winning this one for Lindsey.”

Lindsey smiled, moving to stand next to the big golden palomino Jackson had bought Jade for her last birthday. Blake hadn't agreed with the purchase. He'd thought the animal would be too much horse for a girl just starting out. He'd underestimated Jade. When the kid decided to do something, she didn't back down. She and the horse were a formidable team.

And he could tell that Lindsey wanted to be the one riding home on a horse like Jim.

He hoped someday. Maybe not barrels, but on a good broke horse she'd be able to ride and do more of the things she wanted to do.

“I should head for the arena.” Jade pulled back on the reins, backing the horse. “Wish me luck.”

Lindsey followed for a few feet but then stopped to wait for Blake. “We have to get down there so we can watch.”

“Don't worry...we'll watch,” Blake promised his daughter. “Where's your mom?”

“Sitting with everyone. She has Teddy and Sissy with her.”

“Gotcha. Let me put this brush away, and we'll go find a seat.”

“Are you going to ride?” Lindsey followed him to the back of the trailer where he had extra brushes, halters and lead ropes.

“Nope, doctor's orders.”

“So you're just not going to ride?”

He smiled down at her. “Linds, I'm not going to take any chances.”

She wrinkled her nose at him, but she smiled. “Okay, thanks for being such a great role model. We should head back to the bleachers so we don't miss Jade's ride. And Lucky's daughter, Sabrina, is riding, too.”

“I guess we'd better go cheer on our family.”

As they walked toward the risers where the crowds were sitting, he spotted Jana with Teddy and Sissy, one on either side of her. Heather sat on the other side of Sissy, leaning to hear what the little girl was saying. He'd made a trip to check out Heather's new home. She seemed excited about leaving her apartment in Grove and moving closer to family. Some people had never understood her desire to live in Grove, but Blake got it.

The Coopers could be overwhelming. Heather focused on her business and she kept her personal life personal. His gaze connected with Jana's, and he wondered if she would survive being in the middle of their lives once again.

He climbed the bleachers, Lindsey coming up behind him. He took the empty space next to Teddy. Lindsey chose to sit in the front row, close to the fence and the action. Teddy scooted down next to her, and she put an arm around his shoulders, leaning to tell him something.

Even to him they looked like a family. Jana, Sissy, Teddy, Lindsey and himself. It changed his world, that thought. Weeks ago he'd been sitting there envying the people around him who were talking to their kids, watching them grow up on horses. Today his daughter was two rows down from him at a rodeo.

And Jana was sitting next to him, her arm brushing his, the scent of roses blending with dust and horse sweat.

Fortunately for him, the barrel racing event started, taking his mind off the woman at his side and the contentment that he hadn't expected to feel.

“When is Jade up?” Jana asked, leaning close.

“She's fifth. I think Sabrina is second.” He made an attempt at studying the girls lined up for the event and he nodded. “Sabrina is up next.”

The girl who'd gone first rounded the third barrel and sent the deep red chestnut she rode down the homestretch. Lindsey couldn't help herself. She jumped up and cheered and then sat back down, her cheeks a little pink.

“Wrong team.” She smiled back at him.

“I think it's okay to cheer on a good rider,” Jana offered, and then she looked up at him. “Isn't it?”

He needed an answer, but her blue eyes froze him and he couldn't think. Man, he really wanted to be eighteen again. At eighteen a guy didn't think about broken hearts and the future. At eighteen it was about today, the moment and nothing more. He wanted to take Jana by the hand, lead her down to the creek and kiss her senseless.

“Blake?” Her voice was breathy, soft.

“Jade's up next,” he managed to say.

“Of course.” Jana settled back in the seat, and in a few minutes she was drawn into a conversation with Heather.

Blake moved to the seat next to his daughter and Teddy so he could explain Jade's ride to her. Or at least that's what he told himself. When Jade flew out of the gate on the palomino, Lindsey grabbed his hand. The ride was nearly flawless, but the horse came out a little too far on the last barrel. Jade got the animal back on track and almost soared to the finish line. The time was called by the MC of the event. Lindsey jumped up, cheering.

“We have to congratulate them.” She looked down at him and was already stepping down off the bleachers.

“We'll head back there in a minute. Maybe your mom and Sissy and Teddy would like to go with us.”

Common sense no longer seemed to matter. Jana wasn't his ex-wife; she was his wife. And tonight, in jeans, boots, a sparkly T-shirt and a white cowboy hat, how could he not want to hold her hand.

He wanted to be eighteen and short on common sense.

“Let's get something to eat.” Lindsey echoed his thoughts. Kind of.

The rodeo snack bar didn't really serve cotton candy, but he'd settle for a corn dog. He looked up at Jana. “Want to go with us?”

She nodded and slid down to join them. Somehow, Blake ended up in the middle of Lindsey, Jana, Teddy and Sissy. He reached to pick up Teddy, and the little guy wrapped his arms tight around Blake's neck. They walked up to the white painted building that resembled a shed and ordered corn dogs and sodas. Lindsey grabbed the first one, plus a packet of mustard.

“I'm going to go see Jade,” she announced.

“Works for me,” Blake agreed. “But watch where you're going. We'll be there in a few minutes.”

Jana was gazing after their daughter.

“She'll be fine. And there isn't a person here who isn't watching out for her.”

“I'm sure someday I'll relax.”

“Of course we will.” He handed corn dogs to Teddy and then Sissy.

The kids were standing next to the arena when his mom joined them. “I'm here to take Teddy and Sissy home. This is almost over, and I like to get on the road before the crowd.”

“Do we have to?” Teddy looked about ready to stomp his foot in a tantrum, but Sissy took him by the hand.

“We have to be good, Teddy,” she warned, sounding a lot older than her seven years.

“But I wanted to go home with Lindsey,” he insisted.

Blake's mom leaned to talk to him. “Lindsey is pretty busy right now. But I think we'll see her tomorrow after church.”

“Are you sure?”

Angie smiled at that. “Pretty sure.”

Blake tugged Teddy's hat low. “You go with Nana Angie, and we'll see you tomorrow.”

The little boy reached for her hand. “Okay, I guess.”

Blake watched them walk away. When Jana's hand found its way into his, he smiled down at her and saw the soft wistfulness in her blue eyes. People moved around them.

Somehow they ended up on the trail to the creek. Maybe he planned it that way. Maybe memories took over and it just happened. They walked side by side, not hand in hand. He was going to kiss her. He didn't see a way in the world that he wouldn't. She was wearing some kind of peach lip gloss, and her eyes were smoky blue this evening, not the lighter blue of a March sky.

Lindsey was with family. He knew she wouldn't miss them for a little while. The noise of the rodeo receded into the background to be replaced by the sound of the creek, tree frogs and an occasional bird.

When they got to the edge of the creek, the air was cooler. The scent of honeysuckle was heavy. Jana tossed her trash in the barrel someone with foresight had chained to a post. Blake did the same.

“I've always loved the smell of honeysuckle.”

Blake agreed, but for some reason he couldn't react, couldn't comment. She looked up at him, unsure, beautiful, still as vulnerable as the young woman whose car hadn't started on a spring day all of those years ago.

Moonlight filtered down, capturing them in its silver light. Blake removed the hat Jana wore, and the moon caught in her blond hair. She looked up at him, her lips parting slightly.

Blake leaned, brushing a hand across her cheek as he bent and captured her lips in a soft kiss. She trembled in his arms and he pulled her close, holding her against him as his lips continued to explore hers.

If only he could be angry with her.

But what he felt was anything but anger. What he felt, what he wanted, was to have his wife in his arms forever. He wanted to hold her and to not be afraid that she'd walk away again and take the best part of him with her, leaving him with just half a life.

He paused, his lips still on hers. He tasted the saltiness of her tears, warm on her cool skin.

“What are we doing?” he whispered.

She shook her head, her lips still close to his. She brushed a kiss across his cheek, and her hands moved to his, her fingers interlocking with his fingers.

“I'm not sure what we're doing.” She buried her face against his shoulder.

He kissed the top of her head and she looked up again. He touched her lips with another kiss, this one less gentle. He wanted to keep her with him forever, holding her close.

But it wasn't about him, what he wanted. It was about her and what she could do to him if she left again. He would eventually have to tell her that he'd contacted Davis and asked for paperwork that would give him custody of Lindsey if she tried to leave again.

Standing there, with her in his arms, that paperwork felt like an insult. And he knew that's how she would take it if he presented it to her. He either trusted her or he didn't.

“We should go back. Lindsey will be looking for us.”

“Blake—” she stepped back, letting go of his hands “—I want to fix us.”

He backed against a tree at the edge of the creek and pulled her with him. He leaned down, studying her face, her eyes and the lips he'd kissed moments ago.

She wanted to fix them.

“I'm not perfect, Blake. I'm not going to be perfect. But I'm doing my best to make things right.”

“I know you are.” He did. At first he'd thought this was only about getting Lindsey the help she needed. Maybe that had been Jana's intention in the beginning.

It had been his intention to help his daughter. He'd had no desire to let his ex-wife back into his life. He leaned in to kiss her again.

She backed away. “No. You have to stop that. I can't think when you do that.”

Yeah, well, he couldn't think when she was around, either. His anger with her was disappearing, becoming mostly a memory. Ten years of fear and searching.

Now he had to think about life with them back in his world. She wanted to fix them, and he was still deciding whether to trust or not to trust.

* * *

Lindsey was angry. Jana could see it from a distance. Her daughter stood next to a post at the edge of the bleachers, and her features were a tight mask of anger. Jana reached for Blake's hand.

“Something happened.”

Blake looked down at her and then glanced toward their daughter. Of course he didn't see what Jana was seeing on her daughter's face. He hadn't the experience. But no doubt Lindsey had the Cooper temper. It took a long time to get one of them pushed to the edge, and they usually got over it quickly, but when they were mad, watch out.

“Why do you think something has happened?”

“Your daughter looks like you when she's mad.”

Blake blinked. “When do I get mad?”

If she hadn't been so worried about Lindsey, Jana would have laughed. “Almost never, Blake. But when you do, it's a frightening thing to see. Do you know how badly my legs shook that day I confronted you at the ranch?”

“Do you know how badly I wanted to shake you?”

“Exactly.” She released his hand and headed for her daughter. Lindsey had crossed her arms in front of herself and her shoulders were squared.

“What's up, Lindsey Bug?” Blake went for a lightness that Jana could have told him wouldn't work.

“Why do I find out all of the important stuff from other people?”

“Lindsey, what are you talking about?” Jana slipped an arm around her daughter's very stiff back and headed her toward the truck. She had a feeling they would need privacy.

“Jade asked me if I was glad that my parents are still married.”

“Jade did what?” Blake's tone could have cut through steel.

Jana looked back at him, giving him a cautioning look. She turned her attention back to their daughter as they walked toward the truck. “Why did Jade ask you that?”

“Because Jade thought it was a good thing. And if I didn't know better, I would think so, too. But you aren't really married, are you?”

Jana stopped at the truck. She didn't want to get inside. She didn't want to be in close confines with Blake. She also didn't want to be on public display as they dealt with another family drama. It was bad enough, going to church and knowing people talked. At the Mad Cow she saw people whispering behind their hands. Even here, at the rodeo, she had overheard a few conversations. She was the kidnapper who had taken Blake's daughter.

Maybe someday that would change. Maybe someday Blake would stop thinking of her as the person who could walk away again. Sometimes she thought it was happening, that he was giving them a second chance.