Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (10 page)

His back was to her. She watched from the porch as he nodded and then glanced back at her. She waited, no longer feeling whole. No longer feeling the sweetness of his kiss.

He slipped the phone into his pocket and walked back up the steps to join her on the porch. She wanted to walk away, to go in the house and bake cookies with the children. She wanted to not hear what he had to say.

“That was Davis.”

“And?” Her heart hammered hard against her ribs and it hurt to breathe.

“The divorce was never finalized. Between his dad's stroke and employee changes, it seems things were shuffled and lost. I should have paid more attention. I'm a lawyer—I should have made sure. I was just so tired of it all by then.”

“Okay. So what do we do?”

He looked away from her, giving her a sweet view of his strong profile. “He wanted us in there tomorrow. He feels terrible and wants to get this done for us.”

“Oh.” She didn't know why it hurt so much to hear those words. By all rights her marriage had ended ten years ago.

Blake stood and looked down at her, not smiling. “I told them we'll deal with it later. I think Lindsey needs time to adjust. I don't see how we can do this without her knowledge, and I think we need to explain to her what we're doing and why. But we need to know that she's strong enough.”

A strange hopefulness sparked. Jana didn't know what to do with that odd lightness. Blake wasn't going to let it go. It wasn't as if he was giving them a chance. She shouldn't be feeling hopeful, not when he was determined to end their marriage once and for all.

He was giving her a reprieve, that's all.

“We should go back inside,” he said in a tone that didn't let her inside his emotions.

“Yes, of course.”

They were still married. She tried to process the information even as Blake seemed to be taking it in stride, as if it didn't really matter. It was another business deal he had to take care of, another contract to finalize.

Was that what he truly thought? She reached for his arm, meaning to stop him and ask him.

He stopped when she touched his arm. Looking down at her, he shook his head. As if he knew what she planned to ask him.

“Jana, in my mind we've been divorced for ten years.”

“Of course.” She shrugged and managed a smile. “You're right. This is a paper we need to sign. Nothing has changed.”

But it should have felt empty, not hopeful. It shouldn't have made her feel as if God had given her this precious gift. Two precious gifts. Lindsey would get better. She and Blake weren't divorced.

She had a second chance. Whatever that meant. Maybe it was a chance to prove to him that she wouldn't run the minute things got difficult. Maybe this meant she had the opportunity to show him they were meant to be together.

Chapter Ten

T
hey left Cooper Creek with a container of still-warm chocolate chip cookies. Sissy and Teddy had waved from the front porch, Blake's mom standing behind them, a hand on each of them. She'd been smiling big. Blake always thought there would come a day when she'd want a break from having a houseful of kids. So far it hadn't happened. She'd taken in Jesse's stepdaughter for a while and Gage's teenage brother-in-law was a constant guest at Cooper Creek.

When they pulled up to his place, Jana got out without saying too much. She looked pale and shaken. He wanted to tell her he would do anything to go back and start over. An unsigned paper didn't change what had happened, though.

It didn't, he repeated to himself. But it was getting harder to believe. Jana was walking up to the house, their daughter was in the yard playing with the dog. Everything he'd known about his life for ten years was suddenly undone because of one unsigned paper.

He got out of the truck.

“I'm going to the barn. But I'll stop in before I leave.”

She smiled but the gesture didn't change the sadness in her eyes. “Okay.”

“Can I go with Dad?” Lindsey tossed the tennis ball in her hand, and Sam went after it.

“If your dad doesn't mind.” Jana looked to him for an answer.

“Of course she can go with me.”

Jana nodded and went inside. He would check on her before he left. A thought clicked in his brain. He didn't know a lot about depression, but he needed to know that she was okay.

“I'm going to put a halter on the foal,” he informed Lindsey as they walked toward the barn, knowing she'd love the idea.

“Can I help?” Lindsey looked up, her hazel eyes big and her smile wide.

“I'll get the halter on and you can help me gentle her down a little. We need to get her used to our touch.”

He walked into the tack room to get the halter, and he glanced back, watching his daughter with the mare. The foal nudged his tiny nose up to the door but then backed away before she could touch him. Lindsey smiled at Blake and then went back to petting the mare and trying to coax the foal.

He wasn't looking forward to telling her about the divorce. Not now, when she was getting healthier. Not now, because she was adjusting to her life, to the relationship between her parents. Telling her they were still married but filing for divorce. How would she accept news like that? He looked over the assortment of halters but didn't really see them.

Things were definitely more complicated than they'd been a week ago. A week ago he'd been divorced and building a relationship with his daughter. Today he was a married man again.

Lindsey turned to see what was taking him so long, and he managed a smile, holding up the miniature halter he'd found as he walked out of the tack room, switching off the light on his way out the door.

“It's pink.” Lindsey smiled at that. “She'll look good in pink.”

“I thought you might like that.” He eased through the stall door. “I should have done this sooner, but things have been a little hectic around here.”

Lindsey leaned on the door, watching him. “Because of me.”

“You're a good thing in my life, Lindsey. I'll take hectic all day long if it means having you here.”

“Sometimes I'm still really mad at mom.” Lindsey reached for the mare, sliding a hand down her neck.

“I guess that's understandable.” Blake looked up, a quick glance, not taking too much attention from the mare and foal.

“She should have at least told you where I was.”

“She made a mistake. Sometimes people make decisions and then it's hard to go back and undo things.”

“I guess,” she said without a whole lot of conviction.

He smiled up at her as he smoothed a hand down the neck of the little filly and slid the halter over her head. She pulled away from him, and her momma gave him a mean look, her ears back.

“See how this momma horse doesn't want me to mess with her baby?” He buckled the halter as he talked.

“Yeah. She'd like to kick you.”

He had to agree, and he was watching those hind legs as he worked. “Exactly. Moms are protective. Even though I wouldn't hurt this baby for anything, she's not convinced. She'll do whatever it takes to keep her baby safe.”

“I guess.”

He guessed, too. It hadn't been the example he wanted to make, because the last thing he wanted to do was understand Jana and what she'd done to him. He'd meant for this to help Lindsey understand. But Jana had been protecting her daughter, afraid his last name, his money, would mean he'd take their daughter from her.

“Do you want to pet this baby?” He held the halter, rubbing his hands down the foal's sides. “Jackson has obviously been working with her, too. She's not too shy.”

“Can I come in the stall?”

“No, I don't think so. Two of us in here might be too much for her momma. But I'll open the door a little and you can pet her.”

Lindsey stepped in the opening and reached for the foal. Her fingers brushed the thick coat and she smiled. “I've always loved horses. I guess I didn't know why.”

“You're a Cooper—you can't help yourself. It's in your blood.”

“Right, I guess it is.” She smiled big, rubbing her hand across the foal's face. “I hope someday I can ride.”

“I hope so, too.”

The door opened. Lindsey stepped back and he released the foal. He guessed they both looked pretty guilty to Jana as she walked up the aisle between the stalls.

“What are you two up to?” She smiled, but something was missing in that smile.

“Dad put the halter on the baby, and we're petting her, to get her used to people.”

“Of course.” Jana moved back, allowing him room to step out of the stall.

He had opened the door that allowed the mare access to the corral. The three of them watched the mare and foal leave the barn and then trot across the corral. He would give them a few more days and then turn them out with the other horses. He always liked to keep a new foal up for a time, just to give them a chance to get used to people.

“Ready to go to the house?”

Lindsey didn't look quite ready, but she nodded.

He turned off lights, and the three of them went out the door.

“Are you okay?” he asked Jana as they walked to the house.

“I'm fine. I made pie. Do you want a piece?”

“I'll take some. Do you have ice cream?” It was the wrong answer. He should have told her he had to go home. He had work he needed to catch up on. Those were the right answers, but not the ones he wanted to give.

“I think you have ice cream in the freezer.” Jana walked next to him. “I thought we could talk about Lindsey's birthday.”

Lindsey heard that. She came back to walk with them. “I already know what I want.”

“What's that?” Blake asked as they walked.

“It's a secret. Something I've been praying for.”

Her answer gave him a bad feeling. “We can't get what you want if you don't share.”

She shot him a secretive smile and bounded off with the dog, tossing back over her shoulder. “If I told, it wouldn't be a secret. Don't worry, I've got this covered.”

Jana laughed a little. “She's obviously feeling good.”

“Doesn't that answer worry you a little, though?”

Jana shrugged. “Maybe a little. What if she's praying for a pet monkey? Or a tiger?”

He thought it probably had more to do with two parents being reunited. But he didn't share that with Jana.

* * *

Lindsey beat them to the house. When they walked through the door of the kitchen, she was cutting pie and placing it on big plates. Jana shook her head but didn't stop her daughter from giving them the gigantic pieces she'd cut.

Instead she pulled ice cream out of the freezer and put it on the counter for Lindsey to scoop. Blake watched the two of them. She felt it. She shivered a little, chilled from the cool air inside after being in the heat outside. Or that's what she'd been telling herself. She couldn't be sick.

“Okay, you're not going to tell us what you're praying for. But what about a party?” Blake asked as he took a seat at the island in the center of the kitchen.

“I want a big party with all of my Cooper family,” Lindsey informed them and then she licked chocolate off her fingers. Jana handed her a paper towel. “And I want a slumber party with my cousins. I have a lot of time to make up for.”

“Lindsey, I'm so sorry you haven't had those things.”

Lindsey looked up from the ice cream she'd been scooping onto the plates. “I didn't say that to make you feel bad. It's just a fact, Mom. Now that we're here, I have a lot of time to make up for.”

“I know you do.” Jana sat down at the table, afraid of the way she felt. She looked up, and Blake was watching her, his eyes narrowed.

He looked so good. She thought about how it would feel if he gathered her up in his arms right then and there and held her tight. And that meant she must have a fever. The last thing they needed to do was give Lindsey false hope, especially if they were going to have to drag her through a divorce.

“Lindsey, why don't you take your pie to your room?” Blake said it with a soft, quiet voice.

“Why? Grown-up talk, right? I had a friend who always complained that her parents would send her to her room when they wanted to fight. Are you going to fight?”

Jana met her daughter's curious and hopeful look. “No, we're not going to fight.”

“Oh.” She seemed almost disappointed. “I just thought it would be cool to be sent to my room so my parents could fight.”

“Just go. And tell your mom goodbye.” Blake's voice, his seriousness, caught their daughter's attention. She picked up her plate and shot Jana a curious look.

“Blake, let's not get dramatic.” Jana tried but her head felt fuzzy.

“You're sick.” He said it in a way that made it sound like an accusation.

“I know.”

“Oh.” Lindsey headed for the door with her plate. “See you later, Mom.”

“I love you, Lindsey.” Jana called after her daughter's retreating back. And then she looked up at Blake. “I'm sorry.”

“Why? You're sick, Jana. It happens. But it isn't something you should hide.” He pulled out a chair and sat next to her.

“I'm used to always being with her, taking care of her.”

“I get that. But I'm here, and you taking care of her is not an option. Not if you're sick.” He placed a strong, tanned hand on her cheek, and she closed her eyes at the touch, the gentle touch with his work-roughened hands that felt so cool on her face. She'd always loved his hands.

“Jana.”

She opened her eyes and he shook his head. She'd loved having his hand on her cheek. He looked as if he hadn't been moved, not a bit. Instead he looked concerned.

“I'm sick.” She sighed and leaned back in the chair, brushing her hair back from her face.

“You feel pretty warm.”

“What do we do?”

“You go to Cooper Creek and stay in the apartment over the barn. I'll stay here. I'll get things cleaned, disinfected, and you can rest and get better.”

“What if you get sick?”

“I don't get sick.” He smiled a confident smile as he said it. “And having a day or two to rest up will be good for you. You have to take care of yourself.” That concern again. But it wasn't for her, it was for Lindsey, wasn't it?

Maybe she should go, though. Distance between them, even from one house to another would be a good thing.

“Okay. I'll pack a bag and go.”

“I'll call my folks and let them know you're on your way over. And I'll call Jesse to come over and check Lindsey. What symptoms do you have, other than the fever?”

“I feel weak and my throat has been scratchy.”

He glanced at his watch. “I'll have someone pick you up. You don't need to drive.”

“Blake, I can take care of myself.” She hadn't meant for her voice to sound harsh. He didn't seem to be bothered by her tone.

“Jana, the last thing we need is for you to get in a wreck.”

“Of course, you're right.” She pushed herself up from the table, and her legs felt weaker than they had earlier. She really didn't have time to be sick. She started to tell Blake but her eyes lost focus.

Strong arms went around her, pulling her close and then lifting her off the ground. She leaned against his shoulder as he carried her to the living room and placed her on the sofa. When he sat next to her she opened her eyes and looked up.

“I didn't mean to get sick,” she whispered.

“People rarely do.” He smiled a soft smile and smoothed her hair, his fingers remaining at her temple, stroking softly.

“I should go.”

“Yes, you should.”

“I'd rather crawl in my own bed and stay here.”

He pulled her close, cradling her against his solid body. His arms were holding her, the way she'd wanted. Because she was sick, she reminded herself. Her fever-fogged brain had enough sense to remind her that he was just being kind.

His hand stroked her arm and his lips touched the top of her head. And then he stood up. “Let me call Jesse and see what he says.”

She closed her eyes, nodding. A blanket slipped over her shoulders and she heard his retreating steps on the hardwood floor. She shivered into the blanket, alone and worried. How had something hit this suddenly? She'd been fine earlier. Maybe a little scratchy-throated, but not sick.

Footsteps returned. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Blake standing next to the sofa. He sat down on the edge of the seat and handed her a glass of water and pills.

“This should help.”

She swallowed the pills. “What did Jesse say?”

“He said to quarantine you in your bedroom. I'll stay here tonight, and we'll see how things are tomorrow. He wants to check you for strep.”