Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (8 page)

Jana glanced at Blake and then back to her daughter. “Maybe we should call your brother Jesse or go to the emergency room.”

“Mom, I'm fine. Remember, they said I'd be tired.”

“I know, but...” Jana took a deep breath, told herself to relax, and somehow she smiled. “You're right. Get some sleep, and we'll leave early for Tulsa.”

“Doctor's appointments, great.” Lindsey kissed Jana's cheek and then rounded the table to hug her dad. “Are you going with us?”

“Of course I am. I have post-op checkups, too.”

Jana started to stand but Lindsey stopped her. “Mom, I think I'm past being tucked in at night.”

“Right, of course you are.”

Jana got it. Her daughter was too old to be tucked in, but not too old to try to push her parents together.

“I'll help you do the dishes.” Blake pushed himself to his feet and started gathering plates.

“You don't have to.” Jana carried the plate of bread and their glasses to the sink. “I can do this later.”

“I can help you now, and we'll be done twice as quick.”

He'd always said that. They would do the dishes together each night and then they would sit on the front porch as the sun went down.

“I missed you.” She said it softly, not sure if he wanted to hear or was ready to listen.

He didn't respond. He rinsed the last dish and stacked it in the drainer before looking at her, his hazel eyes dark, studying her face.

“I missed you, too.” He leaned against the counter, his hands settled on her waist. “And that's the part that makes it hard to let you walk back into my life as if it never happened.”

“I know and I understand.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “I'm sorry.”

He looked around the now-clean kitchen. “I have to go. We need to be on the road by seven tomorrow morning.”

“We'll be ready. Do you want me to pick you up?”

He grinned at that, and she remembered how much she loved that smile of his. “No, I think I'll do the driving this time.”

She walked him to the front door. He didn't kiss her goodbye. He didn't hug her. He did tell her to sleep well and not to worry.

A few minutes later he drove down the driveway and she was alone again. She prayed it wouldn't always be this way. Maybe it hadn't been her intention when she came home, to find a way to fix things with Blake. But everything had changed, and she knew she would do whatever she could to fix her marriage, to make them a family again.

Chapter Eight

B
lake breathed a sigh of relief after Lindsey's appointment. She wasn't in rejection. The doctor had given them a list of symptoms to watch for, but he was convinced Lindsey was in the clear. What he didn't want was for her to get sick at this stage, so they needed to watch her and do their best to keep her healthy.

As they headed home from the hospital, Lindsey leaned over from the backseat of his truck, where she'd been listening to music on the MP3 player Mia bought her.

“Remember your promise.” Lindsey flicked his shoulder. “We're taking Teddy fishing as soon as we get home.”

“I haven't forgotten.”

Jana glanced his way, her mouth a tight line of pretty obvious disapproval. “Should we?”

“Take Teddy fishing?” Blake asked, knowing she meant Lindsey.

“Should Lindsey go fishing?” Jana shot him the look normally reserved for a kid that had gotten into dessert and made a mess.

“Dr. Everton said she should take it easy and watch for signs of rejection but she should also do what she feels like doing. Within reason.” The last was for his daughter. In case she got any ideas.

“Fishing isn't dangerous, and Teddy is looking forward to this.” Lindsey turned her attention to her mom. “We can't let a little kid down.”

Jana laughed at that. “Right, I'm just not sure if Teddy is the little kid you're worried about letting down.”

She responded with mock teen hurt. “Of course I'm worried about Teddy. He's awesome.”

“I talked to his mom last night, and she gave permission for him to spend the afternoon and evening with us. Sissy is at a friend's house.” He glanced at Jana. “Is that okay with you, if we take him?”

Her face mirrored her confusion. “Blake, you don't have to ask my permission. You were spending time with Teddy before we came back to town, and I definitely wouldn't want you to stop just because we're here now.”

“Jana, I'm asking because I thought you'd like to go with us.” That might prove to be a mistake on his part, asking Jana to go with them, but it seemed right to have her along.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He glanced in the rearview mirror. Lindsey had settled back in her seat, but her eyes flicked from him to her mom and she had a pretty happy smile on her face. He'd give her anything, slay any giant, but he didn't know if he could give her what she wanted.

How did he tell his daughter not to get her hopes up when it came to her parents getting back together?

How did he not try to give her that?

“I'd like to go,” Jana finally answered. “I can thaw out hamburgers to cook on the grill.”

Blake eased through the city traffic. “Does that mean you don't think we'll catch fish?”

Her smile returned. “Oh, I didn't realize that you planned to catch fish.”

Lindsey groaned. “Such a low blow. You know I always catch fish.”

“Where have you fished?” Blake asked as they headed out of town. There were a lot of blank spaces in his daughter's life, things he didn't know and wanted to know.

“In Holland. Sometimes in the ocean but also in a river.”

“Did you go to school there?”

She shook her head. “Mom homeschooled me in Holland. In Africa I went to a private school.”

“Where did you like living the best?” He kept his attention on the road, but he glanced in the rearview mirror, and saw her eyes narrow as she looked at him. “What?”

“That's a silly question.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, because this is my favorite place to be.”

They drove on in silence, but if a man's heart could burst at the seams, his was pretty close. Jana looked at him before focusing on the window. He saw her pain and knew it wasn't because Lindsey was happy. It was because their daughter had missed out.

When they reached Dawson, he drove through town, turning on a little side street that led to the tiny house where Teddy lived.

The little boy must have been watching for them, because the truck hadn't come to a complete stop and Teddy was out the door, a grin splitting his face. He was wearing shorts that were too big, a long-sleeved shirt, boots and a cowboy hat. He had a fishing pole that was barely three feet long.

Blake got out of the truck, and Lindsey ran out her door to greet the little boy. Teddy hugged her first and then hugged Blake.

“I'm ready to go,” he announced with another smile, this one showing the dimple in his left cheek.

“We need to tell your mom.” Blake ruffled the blond hair and headed for the house. Teddy hurried to keep up.

“She's sleeping.”

Blake stopped. Jana had gotten out of the truck, and she looked at him, then at Teddy.

“Let me knock on the door,” she offered.

Teddy shook his head. “She doesn't want to be woke up. I tried, but she said to let her sleep and to catch lots of fish.”

Jana obviously wasn't in the mood to listen. And Blake wasn't in the mood to stop her. He'd learned a long time ago that when a woman made up her mind about something, it was better to just let her go. And in this situation, he thought she might have a better idea how to handle things.

Teddy's hand slipped into his, but Blake's mind traveled eleven years into the past, remembering Jana sleeping a lot, forgetting to bathe the baby, forgetting lunch dates. He should have paid more attention.

“She's going to be mad,” Teddy whispered as Jana knocked on the door.

“It will be okay, buddy. Jana just wants to make sure your mom isn't sick.”

“She has a headache,” Teddy informed him, sounding a lot older than a five-year-old should have to sound.

Jana didn't get an answer to her second or third knock so she went in, calling out to Teddy's mom. Blake waited with Teddy and a worried Lindsey. After a few minutes Jana returned. She shook her head.

“No luck?”

“I offered to take her to the doctor,” Jana shared and then she quickly glanced at the little boy climbing in the truck with Lindsey.

Blake shut the door behind them. “What do you think we should do?”

“I'm not sure if we can do anything, Blake. She refuses to get help.”

“I'll see if Wyatt and Rachel Johnson can talk to her. They might have better luck.” The pastor and his wife knew how to reach people.

“She's worried about her kids.” Jana's blue eyes were bright, and he could only think about hugging her, telling her he was sorry he hadn't noticed when she needed him.

He cleared his throat. “We'll make sure the kids are taken care of.”

“I told her that.” She smiled a little. He couldn't help himself. He leaned to kiss her. It was the briefest of gestures, but he could tell it took her by surprise.

It took him by surprise.

“We should go.”

An hour later, they were in a boat on Grand Lake with the water lapping at the shore and water birds swooping overhead. Blake sat at the front, his foot on the trolling motor. Lindsey was baiting a hook for Teddy. He glanced over her head and made eye contact with Jana. She wasn't fishing. Instead she sat in a seat staring out at the water, a faraway look in her eyes.

She must have felt him watching because she turned to smile at him. The breeze picked up, blowing her hair across her face. Her hand came up to brush it back. If he could have, he would have asked what she was thinking and if she regretted being in Dawson. How did a person go from traveling the world to settling down in a small town in Oklahoma?

At that moment, Lindsey let out a screech and Teddy yelled even louder. His thoughts of Jana, the questions he wanted to ask, were replaced by the excitement unfolding in front of him.

“We've got one.” Lindsey smiled big and thumped Teddy on the back. “Or Teddy does.”

“Do you need help reeling it in?” Blake asked, leaning forward to watch.

Teddy shook his head and kept cranking, the pole bending with the weight of the fish. Lindsey stood behind him, helping him hold the grown-up fishing pole they had traded his little one for. It took them both to bring in the bass on the end of Teddy's line.

“Good job.” Blake helped them unhook the fish.

“Is he a keeper?” Lindsey squatted next to the fish that he'd stretched out to measure.

“Can we have him for dinner?” Teddy leaned in close and was petting the fish. Blake had to wonder if Teddy wanted him for dinner or as a pet.

Blake put the bass on the line and measured. He shook his head. “He's not quite big enough.”

“Can I toss him back in?” Teddy had hold of the fish with both hands. “And he'll get bigger and I'll catch him again someday.”

“I think that's a great idea.” Blake happened to make eye contact with Jana. “But first you should let Jana pet him. She looks like she might be feeling left out.”

Teddy turned, still holding the fish that was trying to flop its way out of his hands. “You want to pet him before I toss him back?”

Jana shook her head.

Teddy gave her a
girls are silly
look. “He's just a little old fish.”

“And he smells like a fish,” Jana informed the boy.

“Because he is one.” Teddy shook his head at the complexities of women and gave her one last look. “You don't want to pet him?”

“No, but thank you for offering.” Jana smiled like she meant it.

If things had been different, they might have had a son by now. But Blake knew it wouldn't do any good to think about that. They
didn't
have a son. They
weren't
married.

He returned to his seat at the front of the boat and guided them away from the bank, back to deeper waters.

He guessed he was in deep enough, though.

* * *

Jana offered to make hamburgers since the fishing didn't go as well as expected. Teddy took offense at that. He'd done his part, catching a big old bass. But then he'd agreed that burgers would be good.

She had found premade hamburger patties in the freezer. That meant when Blake came in from the barn with the kids, he could put them on the grill. She'd also found frozen fries, and she'd already preheated the oven and put the cookie sheet of fries in to bake.

It all seemed perfect, like a family having dinner together after a long day on the lake. But it wasn't perfect. And they weren't a family. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was the result of finding the letter Blake had given her days ago. She'd shoved it in her purse, and tonight she would have to read it. She needed to know the details of their divorce.

The back door opened. She listened to Blake telling the kids to wash up in the utility room. Lindsey said something about the pony, and Teddy wanted to know if he could ride it sometime, maybe. Her heart squeezed at the hopeful tone in his voice. She remembered when Lindsey used to beg her to ride horses. Every chance she got, Lindsey wanted riding lessons and she wanted on any horse she could find.

In Africa, in Holland, in Spain, Lindsey had always managed to find horses. She was a Cooper, through and through.

And then the three of them, Blake, Lindsey and Teddy tumbled into the kitchen, all smiles. They looked windblown, a little pink from the sun, but happy. Jana smiled at them, her attention holding on Teddy, because his life was about to be turned upside down. She was sure of it. Blake noticed her look and came up behind her, hugging her quickly and then moving away.

“He'll be fine.”

“Can you put those on the grill?” She nodded and handed him the cookie sheet that she'd put the burgers on.

“Of course I can.” Blake shot Lindsey a quick look, and she didn't have to be told.

“Hey, Teddy, let's go see if the dog will fetch a ball I found in the garage.” Lindsey winked at her dad and then she and Teddy were out the door.

“What's up?” Blake asked.

“I'll follow you outside.” She opened the patio door for him, and he walked out ahead of her. “I have the grill preheated.”

“Thanks.” He shot her a quick look. “Everything okay?”

She shook her head, watching as he put the burgers on the grill. “No. Wyatt called the house phone and I answered. They talked Teddy's mom into going to the hospital. She checked herself in and they're transferring her to Tulsa. Teddy is going to stay here tonight, but Wyatt is sure that Family Services will be here tomorrow to get him. She has family, but they're in Florida and she doesn't want them to have her kids.”

Blake took a seat across from her. “We'll figure something out.”

“Is it crazy for me to say I don't want him to go? I mean, I know he doesn't know us, but he could stay here.”

“It isn't crazy. I'll see if I can get him and Sissy placed with Mom for now. We'll figure something out.”

“If we...” She stopped because she knew she had to tell him.

“What?” And then he grinned. “Don't worry—the same thought crossed my mind. We could take him. But we can't. We have enough to get through without adding two more kids to the mix. Remember, he's part of a set.”

“I know.” She closed her eyes, wishing, no praying that life could be easier.

“We make pretty decent friends, Jana.” He looked as if he was about to say more, but laughter warned that they were about to be invaded by kids.

Sure enough, Lindsey and Teddy came running around the corner of the house, the dog running ahead of them, a stick in his mouth. Teddy fell down on the ground, laughing, and Sam, the dog, turned and dropped his stick. The dog licked the little boy's cheeks and then ran off with his stick again.

They ate a crazy meal with laughter and talking. Jana sipped hot tea, worrying about more than the letter, more than Teddy. She closed her eyes once, swallowing past the tightness in her throat. When she opened her eyes, Blake was watching.

“Teddy, do you want to spend the night here?” Jana smiled big, making it sound like an adventure. She hoped. “You and Lindsey can put blankets in the family room and watch movies?”