Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (9 page)

“My mom might not like that.”

“She said it will be okay. For tonight. Okay?”

“Is she still sick?” he asked with five-year-old eyes big and worried.

“She isn't feeling very good. She's going to a doctor to see if she can get better.”

“For her headache?”

“Yes.” Jana smiled and opened her arms to a little boy who hurried into her embrace. “She's going to get better and we're going to help her.”

“Okay, I'll watch a dinosaur movie.” He hugged her with sweaty, pudgy arms and then he was out of her embrace and heading for the house as if he always spent the night. “Come on, Lindsey.”

Lindsey rolled her eyes, but she got up and went after him. She was twelve. Jana was so glad her daughter got to be twelve. She was glad they were going to have more mother-daughter moments to share. Even if it wouldn't be easy.

She was glad to be back in Dawson. She would find a way to make this her home. She thought she might always feel like an outsider, but if Blake was right, if they could be friends, things would get easier.

After Blake left she curled up on the sofa in the living room with the dog at her feet. Sam liked being an inside dog. She doubted Blake would be happy about the transition from farm dog to house pet.

Blake.
She reached for her purse and pulled out the envelope he'd given her at the Mad Cow.

For several days she'd meant to open it. She'd put it off, needing a few days to accept whatever was inside. Before she made plans to return to Dawson she'd thought about how it would feel to face Blake and find out they were divorced.

She'd thought about knocking on his door and being met by a new wife, a new family. How would they have felt to have Blake's daughter suddenly in their lives? She'd even let herself consider that maybe he hadn't divorced her.

There had been a thread of hope that he would be waiting for her, ready to take her back and make them a family again. She had known it was too much to hope for, but she hadn't stopped herself from dreaming.

The letter was the reality. She sighed as she held it up. From the family room she heard the television playing a dinosaur movie. Teddy laughed.

Her hands shook as she slipped a finger under the seal of the envelope to open it. She was mourning a relationship that had ended years ago. She hadn't expected it to hurt like this. Deep down hurt.

Their marriage was over. She had done this to them. She needed to look at this document, to finally see it in black and white. She pulled the papers out of the envelope, her vision blurry.

She read the letter once, then twice, unsure of how to deal with what she was reading. She reached for her tea and let her gaze slide over the words again. From the hallway she heard little feet heading her way. She refolded the papers and slipped them back inside the envelope as Teddy ran through the door, a pillow and blanket held close.

He curled up next to her and within minutes he slept. Sleep didn't come as easily for Jana.

Chapter Nine

B
lake showed up at his place early.
His place.
He stepped out of the truck and looked at the house that he'd lived in alone for close to eleven years. In the short time she'd been back it had already morphed into Jana's house. When he walked through the front door, it would smell like candles, coffee and her perfume. He knew it. And he knew the strange things that would happen to his stomach when he smelled those things.

She'd called him bright and early and asked him to stop by if he got a chance. He had chores to do before he headed to the office, so stopping by wasn't a problem.

He found her on the back patio drinking a cup of coffee and watching the sunrise. He sat down next to her and she poured him a cup without asking.

So, did he break the silence or should he give it a few minutes? He didn't remember her as a morning person so he sipped his coffee and gave it time. The kids were obviously still sleeping.

“Well? Is there something you want to talk about?” he finally asked her as he refilled his cup.

Jana tensed. She nearly spilled her coffee as she grabbed an envelope off the table. He recognized it as the envelope from the lawyer. The envelope with their divorce papers. He wondered what she'd found in the documents that would have her so shaken.

Because of her absence he'd filed for custody of Lindsey. He should have discussed that with Jana before now. “Jana, I'm not taking Lindsey from you. I filed for custody but with things the way they are, there is no way I'd put our daughter through that. I won't separate the two of you.”

“Blake, that isn't it.” She swallowed, and he watched as she slid the paper from the envelope, her hands trembling, making the paper shake.

He took it from her, but he wasn't too eager to read it. He opened the papers and read over the documents. And if an asteroid had crashed into Oklahoma, he wouldn't have been more shaken than he was as he read through the paperwork.

“I don't understand, Blake.” Jana leaned a little toward him.

“It's an affidavit that I should have signed. I'm not sure how I got this again. I thought I signed it so Davis could go to court for me.”

He looked over the papers once more, because they obviously weren't divorce papers.

“So if he went to court, we are divorced?”

“Of course. I think he probably sent me the wrong papers. He had a stroke around the time we were finishing up.” Blake read through the paper again. “I'll call his son and have him find the right paperwork and send it to us.”

“So what does this mean?”

“It means nothing. I'm sure things were settled.” He folded the paper and shoved it back in the envelope and then reached for his coffee. Good, strong, black coffee.

“Blake, what did you mean about custody of Lindsey?” Jana's voice shook.

“We've already gone over that. I'm not going to take her from you.”

“Thank you.”

“But we'll have to get something worked out, maybe joint custody. And I'll pay you child support, of course.”

She nodded and then shook her head. “You don't have to do that. I still have money.”

“Enough?”

“I'm going to get a job as soon as Lindsey is ready.”

“I think it might be a while before she's ready. What happened to your trust fund?”

Jana refilled her coffee and added more to his. He waited. He was good at waiting.

She finally looked up. “Bad investments. My solicitor in London made bad investments. And I had Lindsey's hospital bills.”

“We'll make sure the medical expenses are taken care of here in Tulsa. And if you want, I can look at your portfolio and see if we can make better investments.” It made him feel more in control, this conversation. He could handle investments. He could handle finances.

He didn't know how to handle the reality that he and Jana might not be divorced. Worse, it meant going through it all over again. And this time, with Lindsey there to witness it all. It had been easy to divorce a wife who had left him and taken their daughter.

Now, with that wife sitting next to him, he wasn't sure how easy it would be.

“I need to make some phone calls now.” He finished the lukewarm coffee and stood. “How's Teddy?”

“He slept on the couch with me. Have you heard anything about his mom?”

“No, but I'll give Wyatt a call and see if he has any new information. I did talk to my folks, and they're willing to take Teddy and Sissy.”

“I'm willing, too. I'm just not sure what I need to do.”

“You'll have to get licensed as a foster parent. And I know they'd be more than willing to have you.”

“I'll do whatever I have to do.”

He studied her face, wondering how she'd become this woman. She'd taken his daughter away from him. Now she wanted to take in extra children and give them a loving home.

“I'll call you later, after I talk to the lawyer.”

She nodded, and he almost leaned to kiss her goodbye. But he couldn't. In his mind they'd been divorced for years. An unsigned piece of paper didn't undo that fact.

On his way to the barn he made the call to the law firm that had handled the divorce and waited while the secretary found Davis Parks, the lawyer. Eventually the other man came on the phone.

“Blake, what can I do for you?”

“Davis, I think I might have messed up ten years ago.”

There was a slight pause. “How so?”

Blake stood outside the barn. The mare and her foal walked up to the fence, and he reached absently to stroke the horse's neck.

“I got an affidavit in the mail from your dad, and I never opened it. I guess I was distracted... I don't know. For some reason I thought I'd signed the affidavit and that the divorce was final. When I got the envelope in the mail I didn't want to read it. I didn't want to see that my marriage had ended.”

“So what you have is an unsigned affidavit and not the divorce decree?”

“Exactly. I know I should have opened it. I just...”

“Yeah, I know it can be tough. Blake, I'm going to have to research this. I know your divorce was right around the time my dad had his stroke and we also had a staff change. I'll look into it for you.”

“I'm sure he went to court.” Blake settled on that thought and the strange reaction in his gut. “I just don't want to go through this again. Not now. Jana is back in Oklahoma.”

“So we'd have to go through the whole process with her and the child involved?”

“Yes, we would.” Blake leaned against the fence. The mare nibbled at his sleeve and then walked away. “Our daughter is sick. This isn't the best scenario.”

“I'm sure it isn't. Blake, I'm sorry. With everything happening at that time, I lost track of Dad's cases.”

“It isn't your fault.”

“I'll look into it for you.” He didn't say anything for a minute. “Blake, sometimes things happen for a reason.”

How did he answer that? He chose not to. He chose to ignore the comment, ignore the strange sense of wrongs being righted.

He ended the call and walked away from the fence. He heard a truck and stopped at the door of the barn. His dad's truck rolled up the drive.

Tim Cooper stepped down from the truck looking like a man with a full day's work ahead of him. He wore his typical jeans, button-up shirt and the white hat he favored. A lot of men moved to the country and tried farming on for size. Tim Cooper had been country his whole life. He'd raised his children country.

It was a family tradition.

“Dad?”

“Blake.” Tim looked around. He watched the mare and her mouse dun foal. Yeah, the filly had thick, foal hair now, but in time she'd be a pretty gray-brown, the color of a mouse. “Pretty baby.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“How's Jana settling in?” Tim walked up to the fence to watch the mare and foal.

“She isn't settling in my house. I'll help her find a place in town.”

“Is that what you want?”

Blake didn't know what to say. He'd never been one to lie to his dad. He also wasn't generally the son who wanted to share every detail of his life.

“We've got a problem with the divorce.”

His dad waited.

“It seems I didn't sign an affidavit for Davis to go to court.”

“Since I don't speak lawyer, you might have to fill me in.”

“Jana and I might not be divorced.”

Silence hung between them for a good long while. His dad finally scratched his chin and then he grinned.

“Well, I guess God does have his own way of working things out.”

“I'm not sure that's the way I planned on working it out. And this doesn't mean the divorce isn't final. It could be I didn't get the divorce decree, but Davis will find it and send it to me.”

“It could be.” His dad stepped away from the fence. “I came over here to get that roping saddle you haven't been using. I'm going to help out at Camp Hope, teaching kids to rope.”

“You've been talking about that for a while.”

His dad shrugged and reached for the door. “Sometimes it takes a man a while to get things right.”

Blake followed his dad to the tack room midway down the barn. “That's a pretty big hint.”

His dad laughed as he flipped on the light and walked into the room that smelled of leather and hay. “Yeah, I guess it wasn't subtle. I'm not a big fan of Jana's. She took my granddaughter away, and that's not an easy thing to forgive. But I'm also a man who can admit when a person has changed. I think she's changed.”

That was all his dad had to say about it. Tim Cooper was a man of few words, always had been.

Blake watched his dad leave with the saddle, and he went back to the barn. He didn't disagree. Jana had changed. They'd both grown up, and both probably realized a few things about life and about themselves.

Did that mean they should just go back to where they'd left off? He didn't see how. If they'd been the same people living the same lives, they would go back and make the same mistakes.

As older, wiser people with some experience under their belts, it would be like a new relationship with a different person.

But the past was still there, Blake thought, and the past was a hard thing to let go of.

* * *

Blake, Jana and Lindsey drove Teddy to Cooper Creek that afternoon. He got out of the truck, but his hand immediately sought Jana's. She smiled down at him, hoping to reassure him. It had been difficult, explaining to him that his mom needed to stay with doctors for a while and that he was going to live with Tim and Angie Cooper.

He'd asked why he couldn't stay with them and they could be his family until his mom got back. She'd hugged him and promised she would be there to see him and he could visit. She'd caught Blake watching her, and she'd known he doubted as much as Teddy.

Angie Cooper met them at the front door. She smiled at the little boy holding tight to Jana. He reached for Lindsey with his other hand.

“Teddy, I'm so glad you're back.” Angie bent her knees and sank to his level. “I'm going to make cookies. Do you want to see your room or help me make cookies?”

He bit down on his lip and looked from Lindsey to Angie. “Is Lindsey going to help me make cookies?”

“Of course she can help. And Sissy is here, too. She got here an hour ago, and she's been wondering when you would show up. She has the room right next to yours.”

And that's all it took for the little boy to be won over. Angie accepted Blake's outstretched hand, and he helped her to her feet. Teddy dropped Jana's hand and followed Lindsey and Angie through the house. Jana listened to his excited chatter as he told about a kitten he'd seen in the barn and the pony that he thought he might get to ride someday.

“Are you okay?” Blake reached for her hand, and she slipped her fingers through his.

She nodded, because opening her mouth would create a storm of tears that she didn't want to give in to. Teddy would be fine. She knew he would. He would be with Tim and Angie. They would love him and keep him safe. His mother would get better.

Jana felt broken, though. She felt broken for a little boy whose life was falling apart, and she felt broken because her own daughter had been a child whose life fell apart. All of those emotions were swirling, getting confused because of a little boy she barely knew, because he needed them and for some reason they needed him, too.

“It's okay to cry.” Blake whispered the words close to her ear.

She couldn't answer, but she turned into his arms and he held her as she cried for children whose parents can't always be what a child needs.

“Teddy is tough and he knows we'll be here for him. A caseworker will come by later, and they'll talk to him and help him understand.”

Jana nodded against his shoulder, wiping at her eyes as she tried to get her emotions back in control. Blake's hand stilled on her back and he leaned, dropping a kiss on her temple. She looked up, to tell him something that didn't matter, and his lips found hers. The kiss, gentle and sweet, filled her heart, and somehow she felt broken pieces coming back together.

Something triggered in her brain, telling her to go slowly because Blake wasn't feeling what she felt. He meant to make sure their divorce was final. She wanted forever with a man she'd never stopped loving. She pulled back and took a deep breath.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, afraid to look up and see what might be in his eyes.

“Don't be. It's been a long day already.”

His phone buzzed. He gave her an apologetic look and pulled it from his pocket. And then he made long eye contact with her and put it to his ear. Tightness spread across her chest as she watched him. He walked down the steps away from her and she wondered why. If the call was from the lawyer, it was a call that affected them both.